I worked with parents for 12 years in family therapy on how not to further instigate teenage drama. Take the high road, leave the water in the tap. I can see how one would get there being all irritated and angry, but gotta check those urges down.
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.
I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!
Come on pjsoul, you would NOT have punched your mom or dad in the face if they had poured water on your head. Let's be real here. Those are your parents.
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.
I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!
Come on pjsoul, you would NOT have punched your mom or dad in the face if they had poured water on your head. Let's be real here. Those are your parents.
Pretty sure I would have wound up without thinking. It would have been a reflex (and yes I know because it happened once. My mom slapped me out of nowhere once, and before a thought even went through my mind I hit her back hard. It was pure fight instinct).
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
I don't think for a second it's child abuse or anything close to it. It's just a huge instigation and a sure way to piss the kid off even more (and she was pissed about a joke that she apparently felt was a slight on her, whatever the joke teller ' s feelings about it were). As i said before, if that had been done to me while i was already mad or hurt or whatever, I would have seen red. That's probably not what one should be inspiring in an angry teenager!
Come on pjsoul, you would NOT have punched your mom or dad in the face if they had poured water on your head. Let's be real here. Those are your parents.
I beat the shit out my moms 3 rd husband and sent him to the ER with broken ribs.He was a class a prick,never fucked with me again.I was 17.Dumb ass got drunk on Beam and started a fight with me over taking my shoes off at the front door. My mom left him less then a year later.
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.
Jury is still out on that one.Lol
- on a side note I heard me a little bad brain's on pj's xm today.
Oh please let it rain today.
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.
Jury is still out on that one.Lol
- on a side note I heard me a little bad brain's on pj's xm today.
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.
Jury is still out on that one.Lol
Go ahead and retire "halts maul." There will never be anything halts-maulier!
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.
Jury is still out on that one.Lol
Go ahead and retire "halts maul." There will never be anything halts-maulier!
Haven't any of you seen a league of their own? When Jimmy Duggan threw kit in the cold shower because she was mad after being taken out of the game? I really can't believe pouring some water over your own child's head is getting this much backlash. It's not child abuse, it's not demeaning the child. Hopefully, it teaches the kid a lesson. Something to the effect of "hey, your attitude and drama is unacceptable and unless you like to be wet, you need to cool it."
And isn't said child actually a teenager? Shit, when I misbehaved my mom used to grab me by the fucken ear and drag me to my room. That shit hurt a hell of a lot more then water being poured over my head. I turned out pretty good.
Jury is still out on that one.Lol
Go ahead and retire "halts maul." There will never be anything halts-maulier!
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
My daughter is turning 11 very soon and can't take a joke for shit and thy're little jabs. She storms off. The jokes aren't stopping.
Sure, jokes are good; we joke all the time. Just make sure they're relatively kind if they're about her. Be cautious about embarrassing her, and whatever you do don't make fun of her appearance or her body - that's off limits, particularly from a dad (if you are a dad).
Oh we would never make fun of her appareance, or her body...that is out of line...his joke was at a silly thing she had done, and she knew she had and normally when we joke about stuff like that she rolls her eyes and laughs, but this time she blew up...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
She might be acting out too because there is a court hearing today about a name change...We filed to change her last name to ours, she has her mother's last name, and wants ours, and her mother objected so they scheduled a hearing for today...she may see her bio mom today for the first time in years if the bio mom shows up....that may also be messing with her emotions...
but yes, PJ_Soul....I think I agree...my hubby doesn't know when to lay off...he's done the same to me before...when he finds something funny, he runs with it...and I, as an adult can handle it better than an emotional teenager...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
I did not notice this was a step child/step father situation. My oversight. That definitely changes the atmosphere of the situation, but I still don't think it is that big of a deal.
That's what I thought, but with PJSiren's most recent post looks like it's a step mom/bio dad fam.
Yes, I'm step mom...but she calls me mom, she pretty much says she hates her mom...and I can identify with those feelings, because my dad wasn't around when I was growing up and as a teen I hated him...we have full custody of her and her bio mom makes no attempt what-so-ever to see her hasn't in 5+ years, and hasn't called in 2+ years...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Just some thoughts offered with love and without judgement.
Dad says a joke that normally kid would have laughed at but instead gets all angry and starts to act out and be disrespectful.
This is unusual for kid so parents PAUSE, take a step back in surprise... Woah, what's up? Something bothering you? You wouldn't normally get so mad about that. Maybe you are upset about something else. Wow, you have a big day coming up with that hearing. Are you nervous about that? How are you feeling about seeing your mom? I just want you to know that I'm here to listen if you need to talk. I think it's possible that the joke isn't really the reason you are so upset right now. To be honest this is a stressful time for all of us. I wonder how your dad feels about seeing her again? I think we need to take a breath and realize that.
Teens don't easily see the perspective of others bc they are so busy trying to figure out their own. It might be helpful to recognize how the hearing and the stress around it is affecting the whole family
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Just some thoughts offered with love and without judgement.
Dad says a joke that normally kid would have laughed at but instead gets all angry and starts to act out and be disrespectful.
This is unusual for kid so parents PAUSE, take a step back in surprise... Woah, what's up? Something bothering you? You wouldn't normally get so mad about that. Maybe you are upset about something else. Wow, you have a big day coming up with that hearing. Are you nervous about that? How are you feeling about seeing your mom? I just want you to know that I'm here to listen if you need to talk. I think it's possible that the joke isn't really the reason you are so upset right now. To be honest this is a stressful time for all of us. I wonder how your dad feels about seeing her again? I think we need to take a breath and realize that.
Teens don't easily see the perspective of others bc they are so busy trying to figure out their own. It might be helpful to recognize how the hearing and the stress around it is affecting the whole family
You're totally right, and we should have thought about that...and we didn't...that didn't even occur to me until this morning...when I remembered today was the day of the hearing...then I thought OMG, I bet that's why she's been so moody, she's freaking out about seeing Mindy...(yeah I know strangely, her bio mom is Mindy and I'm Mandy...lol) I think maybe her mood will improve after today...unless of course the judge doesn't approve the name change then we're going to have a very disappointed kid to deal with.
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Teenage daughters are gods way of paying us back for our own misdeeds. Until you live with it you can't fully understand. I have the one that is letting me sleep better thankfully but I look down the road and I have another one coming in my 6 year old daughter. That one is more gullible and way more innocent in her nature. She also bitches about everything right now. In 10 years dear god what it may be like. I'm legitimately scared.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
Well, her bio mom didn't even show up to the hearing, she "appeared" over the phone. So she didn't have to see her. I'm sure she's relieved a little bit over that...and the judge ruled in our favor and changed her last name...so I know she's thrilled about that....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Well, her bio mom didn't even show up to the hearing, she "appeared" over the phone. So she didn't have to see her. I'm sure she's relieved a little bit over that...and the judge ruled in our favor and changed her last name...so I know she's thrilled about that....
that is really awesome!
maybe you can take her out for a small treat, it can help smooth things over with her considering the last few days. I'm sure she'd really appreciate that.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
How did she find out about the name change? Did She have to be served? I have gave her a nickname that I won't share haha - anyway that's really messed up for your sweet pea to have to deal with. No contact and then all of a sudden. What a .... again haha I'll keep that to myself.
Oh please let it rain today.
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
Yeah, she had to be served with papers...and then she had to pay 100+ dollars to object, but couldn't bother to show up in person...I mean that's just pathetic...her mother get's under my skin...she's worse than my dad ever was...
Yeah I think we should go out to dinner to celebrate and it be her choice...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
So glad to hear it went the right way. One of my sisters is going through a court battle with her boyfriends kids. Bio mom had kids in holey filthy clothes,sleeping on the floor and just not in an acceptable environment. Somehow she got enough money to try and get all final say on things through a lawyer. Sadly I think my sister and her boyfriend lose. No lawyer and they aren't married. They didn't want to use what little money they had on one. They would rather buy clothes and such for the kids. Bio mom still wants joint custody luckilly.
Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's Fuckus rules all Rob Seattle
So glad to hear it went the right way. One of my sisters is going through a court battle with her boyfriends kids. Bio mom had kids in holey filthy clothes,sleeping on the floor and just not in an acceptable environment. Somehow she got enough money to try and get all final say on things through a lawyer. Sadly I think my sister and her boyfriend lose. No lawyer and they aren't married. They didn't want to use what little money they had on one. They would rather buy clothes and such for the kids. Bio mom still wants joint custody luckilly.
I'm so sorry to hear that...my daughter comes from a situation like that, her and her half sister were removed by CPS and placed with their father's thankfully. And the courts awarded full custody to their dad's so we do have full custody and she makes no attempt to see either child, and has since had 3 more children with a third man...and both girls feel like they've been replaced, she doesn't call anymore, it's been 2+ years since she called to speak tomy daughter on the phone...her 11th birthday was the last time...and what did she do, not wish her a happy birthday, not say I love you, not ask how she was, first thing out of her mouth was "Guess what, I just had twins..." My daughter's reaction was to be sad, and told her mom I have to go and she hung up on her, she has not called one time since...and she thought she could object to the name change and have a leg to stand on,....? Yeah right.
cdycinge, I really hope those kids are ok...I wish your family luck with them, at least they'll have joint custody, and know they are cared for when in his care...just give them lots of love and attention...
I still give my baby girl lots of love and attention, we have mommy daughter dates all the time...so she gets that sort of quality time with a mother figure, because I don't want her to ever think back and think she didn't have a mom....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
My daughter is turning 11 very soon and can't take a joke for shit and thy're little jabs. She storms off. The jokes aren't stopping.
Sure, jokes are good; we joke all the time. Just make sure they're relatively kind if they're about her. Be cautious about embarrassing her, and whatever you do don't make fun of her appearance or her body - that's off limits, particularly from a dad (if you are a dad).
Oh we would never make fun of her appareance, or her body...that is out of line...his joke was at a silly thing she had done, and she knew she had and normally when we joke about stuff like that she rolls her eyes and laughs, but this time she blew up...
Oh, I wasn't referring to your joke; just commenting on the post by JK_Living about "little jabs", not knowing what the little jabs are about.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
So glad to hear it went the right way. One of my sisters is going through a court battle with her boyfriends kids. Bio mom had kids in holey filthy clothes,sleeping on the floor and just not in an acceptable environment. Somehow she got enough money to try and get all final say on things through a lawyer. Sadly I think my sister and her boyfriend lose. No lawyer and they aren't married. They didn't want to use what little money they had on one. They would rather buy clothes and such for the kids. Bio mom still wants joint custody luckilly.
I'm so sorry to hear that...my daughter comes from a situation like that, her and her half sister were removed by CPS and placed with their father's thankfully. And the courts awarded full custody to their dad's so we do have full custody and she makes no attempt to see either child, and has since had 3 more children with a third man...and both girls feel like they've been replaced, she doesn't call anymore, it's been 2+ years since she called to speak tomy daughter on the phone...her 11th birthday was the last time...and what did she do, not wish her a happy birthday, not say I love you, not ask how she was, first thing out of her mouth was "Guess what, I just had twins..." My daughter's reaction was to be sad, and told her mom I have to go and she hung up on her, she has not called one time since...and she thought she could object to the name change and have a leg to stand on,....? Yeah right.
cdycinge, I really hope those kids are ok...I wish your family luck with them, at least they'll have joint custody, and know they are cared for when in his care...just give them lots of love and attention...
I still give my baby girl lots of love and attention, we have mommy daughter dates all the time...so she gets that sort of quality time with a mother figure, because I don't want her to ever think back and think she didn't have a mom....
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My mom left him less then a year later.
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
Tattooed Dissident!
but yes, PJ_Soul....I think I agree...my hubby doesn't know when to lay off...he's done the same to me before...when he finds something funny, he runs with it...and I, as an adult can handle it better than an emotional teenager...
Tattooed Dissident!
Tattooed Dissident!
Dad says a joke that normally kid would have laughed at but instead gets all angry and starts to act out and be disrespectful.
This is unusual for kid so parents PAUSE, take a step back in surprise... Woah, what's up? Something bothering you? You wouldn't normally get so mad about that. Maybe you are upset about something else. Wow, you have a big day coming up with that hearing. Are you nervous about that? How are you feeling about seeing your mom? I just want you to know that I'm here to listen if you need to talk. I think it's possible that the joke isn't really the reason you are so upset right now. To be honest this is a stressful time for all of us. I wonder how your dad feels about seeing her again? I think we need to take a breath and realize that.
Teens don't easily see the perspective of others bc they are so busy trying to figure out their own. It might be helpful to recognize how the hearing and the stress around it is affecting the whole family
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Tattooed Dissident!
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
Tattooed Dissident!
maybe you can take her out for a small treat, it can help smooth things over with her considering the last few days. I'm sure she'd really appreciate that.
- Christopher McCandless
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
Yeah I think we should go out to dinner to celebrate and it be her choice...
Tattooed Dissident!
Fuckus rules all
Rob
Seattle
cdycinge, I really hope those kids are ok...I wish your family luck with them, at least they'll have joint custody, and know they are cared for when in his care...just give them lots of love and attention...
I still give my baby girl lots of love and attention, we have mommy daughter dates all the time...so she gets that sort of quality time with a mother figure, because I don't want her to ever think back and think she didn't have a mom....
Tattooed Dissident!
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