Maddening Malapropisms

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  • Last-12-ExitLast-12-Exit Posts: 8,661

    image

    That's the funniest thing I've seen all day. Thanks.
  • HobbesHobbes Posts: 6,419

    image

    That shit is too funny...

    Thread winner!
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Posts: 49,922
    edited May 2015

    When someone asks, "who is __________?" When others are discussing a household name in pop culture.

    However, it's painfully clear they know who so-and-so is, but they just want to ask for the sole sake of announcing that they're superior to everyone else.

    Example:

    People at the watercooler: Did anyone catch the Justin Bieber roast last night?

    People at the watercooler: Yeah, it looked like Martha Stewart was going to make Bieber cry at one point.

    Douche: Who is Justin Bieber?

    That IS really annoying. Sometimes I think the person must be lying to get attention, but i don't really know. A woman at work claimed to have never heard of Bono (she was in her 20s during the 80s). So i say it's the lead singer from U2, and she claimed to have never heard of them before either. Never. Never heard one of their songs, never heard of them talked about in tje news or on the TV.... Is that possible??? How oblivious to your surroundings do you have to be for that to be true?

    Also, my mother claimed to have never heard of Neil Young in her whole life and never heard his music once until i played her a Neil Young record last year. That was frustrating. I know that can't be true. You can't have gone around seeing and hearing media all your life and never hear of Neil Young or his music, can you??? I mean, just walking through life Neil Young would have played where she was here and there for sure, no? My mother even had a fucking record collection with tons of folk music from the 60s and 70s. She found all those without ever coming across Neil Young?? In my mom's case, I don't think she's lying. Her memory must really just be failing her (which is a bit concerning, lol). Not that everyone should know all big bands/artists. I'm sure I am oblivious to certain big artists too. But no ubiquitous ones that are really common knowledge. Like, not knowing about Kanye West is one thing. But not knowing who, say, Michael Jackson is is completely ridiculous. I would think there is something wrong with a person who claimed that.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    "shrap metal"

    Someone brought moonshine cherries over the weekend, and one girl said "ewww those are gross, it's like drinking shrap metal" :fp:
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • InHiding80InHiding80 Posts: 7,623
    PJ_Soul said:

    When someone asks, "who is __________?" When others are discussing a household name in pop culture.

    However, it's painfully clear they know who so-and-so is, but they just want to ask for the sole sake of announcing that they're superior to everyone else.

    Example:

    People at the watercooler: Did anyone catch the Justin Bieber roast last night?

    People at the watercooler: Yeah, it looked like Martha Stewart was going to make Bieber cry at one point.

    Douche: Who is Justin Bieber?

    That IS really annoying. Sometimes I think the person must be lying to get attention, but i don't really know. A woman at work claimed to have never heard of Bono (she was in her 20s during the 80s). So i say it's the lead singer from U2, and she claimed to have never heard of them before either. Never. Never heard one of their songs, never heard of them talked about in tje news or on the TV.... Is that possible??? How oblivious to your surroundings do you have to be for that to be true?

    Also, my mother claimed to have never heard of Neil Young in her whole life and never heard his music once until i played her a Neil Young record last year. That was frustrating. I know that can't be true. You can't have gone around seeing and hearing media all your life and never hear of Neil Young or his music, can you??? I mean, just walking through life Neil Young would have played where she was here and there for sure, no? My mother even had a fucking record collection with tons of folk music from the 60s and 70s. She found all those without ever coming across Neil Young?? In my mom's case, I don't think she's lying. Her memory must really just be failing her (which is a bit concerning, lol). Not that everyone should know all big bands/artists. I'm sure I am oblivious to certain big artists too. But no ubiquitous ones that are really common knowledge. Like, not knowing about Kanye West is one thing. But not knowing who, say, Michael Jackson is is completely ridiculous. I would think there is something wrong with a person who claimed that.
    I work with someone who's never seen the Star Wars movies and has to be explained who some people are. It took 10 minutes to explain to him who Kevin Bacon was ffs.

    On top of that, he said he liked 50 Shades of Gray. No self respecting married man would say that, seriously.
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    ^^^ I have never seen any of the star wars movies either. Ask norm...
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • ldent42ldent42 Posts: 7,859
    RKCNDY said:

    "shrap metal"

    Someone brought moonshine cherries over the weekend, and one girl said "ewww those are gross, it's like drinking shrap metal" :fp:

    I don't understand. What is it meant to be? I assumed shrapnel but in the context of the second line it doesn't make sense.
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  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    ldent42 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    "shrap metal"

    Someone brought moonshine cherries over the weekend, and one girl said "ewww those are gross, it's like drinking shrap metal" :fp:

    I don't understand. What is it meant to be? I assumed shrapnel but in the context of the second line it doesn't make sense.
    I think she meant shrapnel, or scrap metal...not really sure. One time she apparently sent back her potatoes at dinner because they were 'wrong', "potatoes are not supppised to be yellow" .
    I'm trying to remember other stupid shit she said.


    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    Oh, another one...

    "zero degrees is Calvin"
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • SD48277SD48277 Posts: 12,243
    RKCNDY said:

    Oh, another one...

    "zero degrees is Calvin"

    Don't tell Hobbes....
    ELITIST FUK
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    When people say, "well, there's X time I'll never get back" after investing a minute or two in something deemed unworthy.

    You were never gonna get the time back anyway, man. Never!
  • HobbesHobbes Posts: 6,419
    SD48277 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    Oh, another one...

    "zero degrees is Calvin"

    Don't tell Hobbes....
    We're on it.....
    image
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Posts: 12,845
    After never having noticed this before, I've heard two people in the past two days say "nip it in the butt" (rather than "nip it in the bud"). Honestly, I think this gives an entirely different connotation.
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,409
    edited June 2015
    For some reason, it really annoys me when people put the word "of" in place of the word "have" too. The mistake makes the person seem stupid to me. (!!!)

    PS I think "the goat between" must be a joke! :)
    Post edited by justam on
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  • ldent42ldent42 Posts: 7,859
    Why is it ice cream but iced coffee.

    I demand explanation.
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  • markymark550markymark550 Posts: 5,150
    Work with someone who uses the word ideal instead of idea. As in, "Do you have any ideals for our next project?" I always want to reply, "Well, it would be ideal if I had an idea."
  • SD48277SD48277 Posts: 12,243

    Work with someone who uses the word ideal instead of idea. As in, "Do you have any ideals for our next project?" I always want to reply, "Well, it would be ideal if I had an idea."

    Please say that next time. I'll give you a dollar if you do.
    ELITIST FUK
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Posts: 16,432
    justam said:

    For some reason, it really annoys me when people put the word "of" in place of the word "have" too. The mistake makes the person seem stupid to me. (!!!)

    That drives me insane!!
  • HesCalledDyerHesCalledDyer Posts: 16,432
    We have monthly team & individual goals at work. If the monthly goal is hit, everyone who hit their individual go is entered in a drawing for a gift certificate of some sort. But every time my manager announces it, she always says "drawling." It's like we're entered to win a southern accent.
  • markymark550markymark550 Posts: 5,150
    SD48277 said:

    Work with someone who uses the word ideal instead of idea. As in, "Do you have any ideals for our next project?" I always want to reply, "Well, it would be ideal if I had an idea."

    Please say that next time. I'll give you a dollar if you do.
    I really want to, but I don't know if I could say it with a straight face and no sarcasm thrown in.
  • davidtriosdavidtrios Posts: 9,732
    Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel.
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013

    We have monthly team & individual goals at work. If the monthly goal is hit, everyone who hit their individual go is entered in a drawing for a gift certificate of some sort. But every time my manager announces it, she always says "drawling." It's like we're entered to win a southern accent.

    My neighbor did that...when I was a kid and I was forced to go to her mom's vacation bible school during the summers...she'd always say, "can we drawl jeezus?"
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • ldent42ldent42 Posts: 7,859
    ldent42 said:

    Why is it ice cream but iced coffee.

    I demand explanation.

    I am still waiting.
    NYC 06/24/08-Auckland 11/27/09-Chch 11/29/09-Newark 05/18/10-Atlanta 09/22/12-Chicago 07/19/13-Brooklyn 10/18/13 & 10/19/13-Hartford 10/25/13-Baltimore 10/27/13-Auckland 1/17/14-GC 1/19/14-Melbourne 1/24/14-Sydney 1/26/14-Amsterdam 6/16/14 & 6/17/14-Milan 6/20/14-Berlin 6/26/14-Leeds 7/8/14-Milton Keynes 7/11/14-St. Louis 10/3/14-NYC 9/26/15
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  • Last-12-ExitLast-12-Exit Posts: 8,661
    ldent42 said:

    ldent42 said:

    Why is it ice cream but iced coffee.

    I demand explanation.

    I am still waiting.
    Because ice coffee sounds stupid.
  • Who PrincessWho Princess Posts: 7,305
    "in tack" for intact.
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • SD48277SD48277 Posts: 12,243

    Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel.

    The other fifteen were done by someone else. I think his name was Bob.
    ELITIST FUK
  • northerndragonnortherndragon Posts: 9,851
    SD48277 said:

    Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel.

    The other fifteen were done by someone else. I think his name was Bob.
    But how do they know it was the sixteenth chapel, were they counting them?
    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • Last-12-ExitLast-12-Exit Posts: 8,661

    SD48277 said:

    Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel.

    The other fifteen were done by someone else. I think his name was Bob.
    But how do they know it was the sixteenth chapel, were they counting them?
    Duh
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013


    ldent42 said:

    ldent42 said:

    Why is it ice cream but iced coffee.

    I demand explanation.

    I am still waiting.
    Because ice coffee sounds stupid.
    well they say "shave ice" in Hawaii... Iced Cream sounds fine...
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    edited July 2015
    The chick with whom I previously shared my office (she's no longer an employee) called a drawer a droor...and then spelled it "door". And then became dismissive when I asked that she spell the word correctly.

    My new office-mate is nice enough, low-key (thank god - cannot work around a chatterbox) but she eats her lunch at her desk and the sound of her chewing drives me fucking NUTS.

    And, I feel bad that it drives me fucking NUTS because 1) she can't help it, and 2) I'm sure I do the same.

    It's weird sharing close and potentially long-term space with someone you don't really know or haven't chosen to.

    *edit - I think I combined this with the irritating office behavior thread!
    Post edited by hedonist on
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