man, that kind of poetic, backwards style of writing... along with that "nauseatingly" positive flair... Used to put me in fits during debate. Actually received my only warnings ever here courtesy of Pandora.
in a way, it is cool to put a face and a story and some depth behind Pandora. Its a horrible shame that it is under these circumstances. She sounds like such a delightful person, as does JB. Amazing that she wanted to reach out to Gimmesometruth after so many debates. That is classy. Really sad I never got the opportunity to meet her.
Im planning on putting out a bird-feeder next spring in honor of her.
When i thought of her, i thought of the smiling mid clap photo of Ed.
RIP Pandora, and thanks for the memories.
Rod
It is not often that I take the time anymore to log on to the computer to post, I usually only post from my phone. But I was unable to sleep at 345am and was on my phone scanning this thread, there is something that I want to say.
These permanent bans need to be reevaluated. I have a lot that I want to say but I'll restrain my words and just say that they alienate fans. This forum format is so poorly designed, give people an ignore feature for crying out loud. It makes zero sense to ban someone when they add so much more than what they post on the AMT sub forum, why not just block their AMT posting abilities? Frankly I am upset because it seems that people are not treated with value, remember the old days? It is different. On a personal note I'm fairly certain the mods don't favor my opinion simply because of my beliefs, they flat out refused to restore my original member number when I'm reading that others received that option. After the comments that a certain band member made about gun owners I really took that to heart, especially since I found myself so absorbed in their efforts on Vote for Change 2004 and now I feel like it was all a waste because their guy does the same stuff and doesn't have a song called Obamaleaguer. It just feels like I have been conned, duped as it is. All of that energy put forth to make a difference and for what? What? I'll tell you for what, for the FANS.
Most of you don't know, and many more won't care but my original member number was #253. Yeah, three digits. So I've been around since the beginning of 10C. I've met many great people at shows, traveled the world for more shows, seen a lot of people come and go, most on their own accord. It stings when people are forced out.
I wasn't part of the email that went out, although I probably was one of the few who did lean towards more of what Pandora was saying, not on everything but at least it did feel like someone sometimes had my back. I have thick skin, but I have little patience. Her persistance helped me see someone who had the ability to sort things out in their head, in better ways than I could. I only realize this now because with the sad news I spent some time going through the poetry forum for the first time. I read some of her poems. She obviously could separate the two forums, and it was easy to see why so many people thought well of her. Admittedly I was not in that crowd that saw the other side (poems), and I feel that I missed out on that, simply because I was, no am, so absorbed in politics. She clearly offered so much more than what was just in AMT.
I remember when I had so much excitement for a new release or seeing a show that I could hardly contain myself, I would tell everyone that I knew. I don't feel that way anymore. Maybe this upcoming show will change that. Maybe it is just life, but I think it is more than that. Maybe I'm wrong in saying this but I request that her ban be removed. It is probably too little, too late, but I would like to see her avatar again, I doubt that I am alone. After all, isn't it supposed to be for the FANS?
I also respectfully request that all other permanent bans be rescinded.
So much for restraining my words, oh well.
Unsung, we finally agree on something. Stop the perma bans. It's a start. Thanks Pandora.
i like her name alot, in fact i even pm'ed her asking her what her real name was. she replied, "that is my name,chadwick" "my name is pandora or pandi for short." this idea blew me away then & still right now i am amazed that she is pandora. she is the one & only pandora as far as i know. jb has some cool stories i bet.. like, um
"hey im going home to spend time w/ my wife pandora" people would be like, pandora? her name is pandora? yes she is pandora
that was a very nice post Unsung. i agree with pretty much everything you said. especially the part about having thick skin but little patience. i think that most of us are like that, and that is what makes topics descend into the chaos that some of them become. that is a good thing that people are so passionate about their beliefs and contributing those beliefs to the forum as a whole.
i like the idea of limiting the posting ability in the forums where the most offenses occur. if someone can't play nice in amt but is fine on the other forums and adds value in other forums and is otherwise an asset to the community, just limit amt posting abilities for awhile.
i also agree that i would like to see the avatars of the banned. i think it devalues them and the contributions that they made when you take away their avatar and replace it with the red "user banned move along" thing. most posters who are fairly active on here make great contributions before they post the ones that get themselves banned.
i mean, if people like pandora and i, people who fought tooth and nail a lot of the time, can work things out ourselves and forgive each other, or tell each other that it was nothing personal, why can't the forum and the people who run the forum forgive them? godfather and i used to go at it pretty hard, and we have become friendly over the years. i think he is a really good person with a good heart, even though we disagree on a lot of things politically. doesn't mean we can't be cool and i can't get him a beer if we ever meet at a show or something, ya know? also, speedy and i used to go at it really bad too. i really did not care for him for a long time. i met him at pj20 and we had some drinks, and he took me to his neighborhood bar wrigley weekend. we call and text each other fairly often. i am friends with him now. so it happens. people that fight on here can let bygones be bygones. i am pretty stubborn. if i can do it, anybody can. if people can work things out, why can't they be forgiven by those in charge?
i know for a fact that these permanent bans negatively impact the banned. i know people who have been banned for 4 or 5 years and it still stings them to this day to not be able to post.
in the end, i think all of us want forgiveness. when you are permanently banned and your avatar becomes a generic "user banned" avatar, i think it is throwing salt in a wound. you can not feel like you are forgiven, and you cannot feel that bygones are bygones if you come here to read the forum and your red avatar is looking right at you and mocking you. i am sure it is hard.
i am sorry, i know my post is all over the place and i am rambling, but it is just how i feel after having stepped away for awhile. i only came back to tell my story in this thread. that could have easily been me instead of her. it could have happened to any one of us. i count myself fortunate that i got to wake up again today. some of us are not so lucky. life is too short to be in constant conflict on here all the time. that is why i am coming around a lot less, and i am picking my spots to contribute.
i did not want to make this an anti ban thing, because it is not about that. i do not want to get this thread locked. it is about remembering someone who used to challenge me on a daily basis. someone who used to frustrate me on a daily basis, yet someone who gave me feedback on my creative writing when nobody else would give me honest criticism. and in the end, it is about someone who thought highly enough of me to reach out after she got banned to tell me how she really felt about out interactions.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
that was a very nice post Unsung. i agree with pretty much everything you said. especially the part about having thick skin but little patience. i think that most of us are like that, and that is what makes topics descend into the chaos that some of them become. that is a good thing that people are so passionate about their beliefs and contributing those beliefs to the forum as a whole.
i like the idea of limiting the posting ability in the forums where the most offenses occur. if someone can't play nice in amt but is fine on the other forums and adds value in other forums and is otherwise an asset to the community, just limit amt posting abilities for awhile.
i also agree that i would like to see the avatars of the banned. i think it devalues them and the contributions that they made when you take away their avatar and replace it with the red "user banned move along" thing. most posters who are fairly active on here make great contributions before they post the ones that get themselves banned.
i mean, if people like pandora and i, people who fought tooth and nail a lot of the time, can work things out ourselves and forgive each other, or tell each other that it was nothing personal, why can't the forum and the people who run the forum forgive them? godfather and i used to go at it pretty hard, and we have become friendly over the years. i think he is a really good person with a good heart, even though we disagree on a lot of things politically. doesn't mean we can't be cool and i can't get him a beer if we ever meet at a show or something, ya know? also, speedy and i used to go at it really bad too. i really did not care for him for a long time. i met him at pj20 and we had some drinks, and he took me to his neighborhood bar wrigley weekend. we call and text each other fairly often. i am friends with him now. so it happens. people that fight on here can let bygones be bygones. i am pretty stubborn. if i can do it, anybody can. if people can work things out, why can't they be forgiven by those in charge?
i know for a fact that these permanent bans negatively impact the banned. i know people who have been banned for 4 or 5 years and it still stings them to this day to not be able to post.
in the end, i think all of us want forgiveness. when you are permanently banned and your avatar becomes a generic "user banned" avatar, i think it is throwing salt in a wound. you can not feel like you are forgiven, and you cannot feel that bygones are bygones if you come here to read the forum and your red avatar is looking right at you and mocking you. i am sure it is hard.
i am sorry, i know my post is all over the place and i am rambling, but it is just how i feel after having stepped away for awhile. i only came back to tell my story in this thread. that could have easily been me instead of her. it could have happened to any one of us. i count myself fortunate that i got to wake up again today. some of us are not so lucky. life is too short to be in constant conflict on here all the time. that is why i am coming around a lot less, and i am picking my spots to contribute.
i did not want to make this an anti ban thing, because it is not about that. i do not want to get this thread locked. it is about remembering someone who used to challenge me on a daily basis. someone who used to frustrate me on a daily basis, yet someone who gave me feedback on my creative writing when nobody else would give me honest criticism. and in the end, it is about someone who thought highly enough of me to reach out after she got banned to tell me how she really felt about out interactions.
Rod, u need to post more, we miss u in here bro. And well spoken in this post. The bans have to stop. It's fucken lame. And they def have to get rid of the banned avatars cuz they do look cheap and like a slap in the face. It's sad, they ban you for not playing nice, well, what's so nice about sticking an avatar like the one they use for banned people for all the people to see. Not cool yet acceptable. We have to follow the rules but the mods can basically make someone look like a child being told to stand in the corner of the room.
I agree with the ridiculousness of final bans, and yet...also get that it's not implemented without multiple warnings (I think? please correct me if I'm wrong). And yes, that replacement avatar, the "move along" description is right on.
As to Pandora herself...earlier this afternoon I found myself thinking of her. Can't chalk it up to any particular reason, just happened. So I went to her memorial website (feels odd saying that) and read the contributions, the more than two pages that had accrued since I last visited there.
What a testament to her character. And the warmth, sincerity, in those testimonials.
One week is nowhere near to come to terms with loss like this, from the perspectives of husband and children. They are and will continue to be in my good thoughts, and she is too, I hope - in golden slumbers.
I am one of the people who never really agreed with most of Pandora's views (like some others have posted). I cannot pretend to have known Pandora outside of these views, but I can comfortably say she was by no means ill-spirited like some of the other 'banned' users. To be honest, I was shocked when she was banned.
Strangely, like others have said, I have been moved by this turn of events. I even spoke to my wife about it. Pandora and I were never harsh with each other, but I do know I mocked her points of view at times when she afforded me more respect. This was shitty of me and I now regret the tact and words I used for the person I viewed in her memorial page. At the time I wrote them, I posted them to 'slow clap Eddie'.
I can't apologize now, but I can improve moving forward. Like many other times on this forum, I have learned something through my participation on it.
"My brain's a good brain!"
0
brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 42,297
I am one of the people who never really agreed with most of Pandora's views (like some others have posted). I cannot pretend to have known Pandora outside of these views, but I can comfortably say she was by no means ill-spirited like some of the other 'banned' users. To be honest, I was shocked when she was banned.
Strangely, like others have said, I have been moved by this turn of events. I even spoke to my wife about it. Pandora and I were never harsh with each other, but I do know I mocked her points of view at times when she afforded me more respect. This was shitty of me and I now regret the tact and words I used for the person I viewed in her memorial page. At the time I wrote them, I posted them to 'slow clap Eddie'.
I can't apologize now, but I can improve moving forward. Like many other times on this forum, I have learned something through my participation on it.
As I've said previously, your experiences and interactions with Pandora are similar to mine, Thirty Bills. Her passing really has taught us all something to one degree or another and very possibly had been some good lessons for her too . For some of us, the lessons have been harder and more of a punch in the gut than for others. Perhaps moving forward, as you say, and learning and growing can be our finest tribute to Pandora and the things we did (and do) appreciate about her.
"Pretty cookies, heart squares all around, yeah!" -Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
"...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
This thread has already moved from the specific to the general and back again, so I hope no-one will mind me posting some thoughts that relate more to the issue of the bans than to Pandora herself. I think the perspective we are missing here is that of the moderators, and it would be great to hear from them. I have never been a moderator, but I have a good friend who was a mod for several years on a very large international hobbyist board, and he just groaned when I was discussing this issue with him this weekend. According to him, the temporary bans just don't seem to change people's behaviour; in his words, "they're the same people when they are allowed back". In fact, it sometimes seems to make the uncivil behaviour worse, since the perpetrators believe they are justified and so they just get angry at a temporary ban and take it out on those they believe to be responsible when they return. They found that the only recourse was to give a series of progressive warnings, then move directly to a permanent ban. I'm sure there is a lot going on behind the scenes with the bans than we realize, and I'm sure it is a tough job being a moderator and having to deal both with problem posters and the flack from their supporters. I can see that permanent bans might be necessary at times, although I'd like to only see them when the behaviour has been egregious.
my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
I changed thread title it needed her name on it this thread is about her lets keep the focus on her ....
Nice move Jose......you know it would be a really nice honor to Pandora to reinstate her avatar posthumously. This coming from one who was a moderator on another musician/band site. I think that would be good thing to happen....just as a reminder for us to TRY to be more civil in our posts with each other here on the Train.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
I changed thread title it needed her name on it this thread is about her lets keep the focus on her ....
Nice move Jose......you know it would be a really nice honor to Pandora to reinstate her avatar posthumously. This coming from one who was a moderator on another musician/band site. I think that would be good thing to happen....just as a reminder for us to TRY to be more civil in our posts with each other here on the Train.
Peace
I agree it def would be a nice gesture by mods .....
I changed thread title it needed her name on it this thread is about her lets keep the focus on her ....
Nice move Jose......you know it would be a really nice honor to Pandora to reinstate her avatar posthumously. This coming from one who was a moderator on another musician/band site. I think that would be good thing to happen....just as a reminder for us to TRY to be more civil in our posts with each other here on the Train.
Peace
I agree it def would be a nice gesture by mods .....
Even tho I didn't get along with pandora, I must second this gesture. It would be a nice thing for the club to do for a fallen fellow member.
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
RIP. Sympathies to her family.
Not so sure this was needed.
I dnt think there's anything wrong with what drowned out said. He was honest and straight forward. And I do get what he's saying. I'm sure pandora would get it to. At least I'd hope she'd get it. But that's just me.
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
RIP. Sympathies to her family.
Not so sure this was needed.
Not sure it was necessary for you to share your take on my words, either. i don't really care what you think, thirty. I swear it was not said with malicious intent. You think I said that to rub salt in a wound or something? Come on... I honestly think she'd be happy to know she pissed me off. God knows she tried ). I felt like a dick ignoring this thread, but I wanted to say something honest. If I died and she posted a bunch of positive compliments about me, I'd have rolled in my grave. I could clearly see the positives people saw in her, but none of that positivity was ever directed at me; not once. And that's ok because I was no better to her. Doesn't mean I think she was a bad person, or I'm glad she's gone (even from the forums). I really do wish her family peace...
0
g under p
Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,199
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
RIP. Sympathies to her family.
Not so sure this was needed.
That might be so, however he's being honest and I prefer straight up honesty over what he said with phoney posthumous compliments. My compliments were from the heart and honestly what I felt about her even though we strongly had our disagreements with just about everything. I can still speak of the positives she brought to me and this board. That said, the sun will rise in the morning I can drive a few miles to the Atlantic Ocean to see it. Pandora can't do that anymore, however maybe she can in her afterlife.
RIPeace
Post edited by g under p on
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
You prefaced your entire post with "I don't have much positive to say about Pandora." This is insensitive. The rest of what you wrote was reasonable.
I was always taught to be respectful. I believe there's a guy named JB on these boards hurting right now. If you couldn't respect Pandora then at least respect him.
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
RIP. Sympathies to her family.
Not so sure this was needed.
That might be so, however he's being honest and I prefer straight up honesty over what he said with phoney posthumous compliments. My compliments were from the heart and honestly what I felt about her even though we strongly had our disagreements with just about everything. I can still speak of the positives she brought to me and this board. That said, the sun will rise in the morning I can drive a few miles to the Atlantic Ocean to see it. Pandora can't do that anymore, however maybe she can in her afterlife.
RIPeace
Thank you sir. For the record - I didn't mean to question the compliments anyone has given - only to explain why my comments were a bit different than most. If the consensus is that I should edit out of respect, I will. I wasn't trying to be controversial. I'd need you guys to delete the quotes, tho.
My heart also goes out to her many friends on the board.
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
You prefaced your entire post with "I don't have much positive to say about Pandora." This is insensitive. The rest of what you wrote was reasonable.
I was always taught to be respectful. I believe there's a guy named JB on these boards hurting right now. If you couldn't respect Pandora then at least respect him.
I'm not going to get into it with you here. I'm sure JB is aware of the history between Pandora and I. If I've shown disrespect to pandora or JB, I apologize because it was not my intent. And I never said I couldn't respect her.
You prefaced your entire post with "I don't have much positive to say about Pandora." This is insensitive. The rest of what you wrote was reasonable.
I was always taught to be respectful. I believe there's a guy named JB on these boards hurting right now. If you couldn't respect Pandora then at least respect him.
I'm not going to get into it with you here. I'm sure JB is aware of the history between Pandora and I. If I've shown disrespect to pandora or JB, I apologize because it was not my intent. And I never said I couldn't respect her.
I may have read it wrong. To me, your post almost reads as a backhanded compliment, but there seems to be support for what you have written. I should have just shut up.
Allow me to apologize for placing you on the spot and not allowing you to say your peace.
Well...honestly, aside from stating the obvious - that she loved her family very much, and was a passionate person...I don't have much positive to say about Pandora. We made no secret of our disdain for each other. The only warning I've ever received on this board followed a nasty exchange with her. There was no post-banning reconciliation, and no desire for it (i assume), from either side.
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin .
Not sure if that's a tribute, but..... As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
RIP. Sympathies to her family.
Not so sure this was needed.
Not sure it was necessary for you to share your take on my words, either. i don't really care what you think, thirty. I swear it was not said with malicious intent. You think I said that to rub salt in a wound or something? Come on... I honestly think she'd be happy to know she pissed me off. God knows she tried ). I felt like a dick ignoring this thread, but I wanted to say something honest. If I died and she posted a bunch of positive compliments about me, I'd have rolled in my grave. I could clearly see the positives people saw in her, but none of that positivity was ever directed at me; not once. And that's ok because I was no better to her. Doesn't mean I think she was a bad person, or I'm glad she's gone (even from the forums). I really do wish her family peace...
Comments
Godfather.
Godfather.
in a way, it is cool to put a face and a story and some depth behind Pandora. Its a horrible shame that it is under these circumstances. She sounds like such a delightful person, as does JB. Amazing that she wanted to reach out to Gimmesometruth after so many debates. That is classy. Really sad I never got the opportunity to meet her.
Im planning on putting out a bird-feeder next spring in honor of her.
this idea blew me away then & still right now i am amazed that she is pandora. she is the one & only pandora as far as i know. jb has some cool stories i bet.. like, um
"hey im going home to spend time w/ my wife pandora" people would be like, pandora? her name is pandora? yes she is pandora
that is probably the coolest damn name ever
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
Agreed, cool-ass name.
RIP.....you are missed. All the best to her family & loved ones. So sad.
www.cluthelee.com
www.cluthe.com
i like the idea of limiting the posting ability in the forums where the most offenses occur. if someone can't play nice in amt but is fine on the other forums and adds value in other forums and is otherwise an asset to the community, just limit amt posting abilities for awhile.
i also agree that i would like to see the avatars of the banned. i think it devalues them and the contributions that they made when you take away their avatar and replace it with the red "user banned move along" thing. most posters who are fairly active on here make great contributions before they post the ones that get themselves banned.
i mean, if people like pandora and i, people who fought tooth and nail a lot of the time, can work things out ourselves and forgive each other, or tell each other that it was nothing personal, why can't the forum and the people who run the forum forgive them? godfather and i used to go at it pretty hard, and we have become friendly over the years. i think he is a really good person with a good heart, even though we disagree on a lot of things politically. doesn't mean we can't be cool and i can't get him a beer if we ever meet at a show or something, ya know? also, speedy and i used to go at it really bad too. i really did not care for him for a long time. i met him at pj20 and we had some drinks, and he took me to his neighborhood bar wrigley weekend. we call and text each other fairly often. i am friends with him now. so it happens. people that fight on here can let bygones be bygones. i am pretty stubborn. if i can do it, anybody can. if people can work things out, why can't they be forgiven by those in charge?
i know for a fact that these permanent bans negatively impact the banned. i know people who have been banned for 4 or 5 years and it still stings them to this day to not be able to post.
in the end, i think all of us want forgiveness. when you are permanently banned and your avatar becomes a generic "user banned" avatar, i think it is throwing salt in a wound. you can not feel like you are forgiven, and you cannot feel that bygones are bygones if you come here to read the forum and your red avatar is looking right at you and mocking you. i am sure it is hard.
i am sorry, i know my post is all over the place and i am rambling, but it is just how i feel after having stepped away for awhile. i only came back to tell my story in this thread. that could have easily been me instead of her. it could have happened to any one of us. i count myself fortunate that i got to wake up again today. some of us are not so lucky. life is too short to be in constant conflict on here all the time. that is why i am coming around a lot less, and i am picking my spots to contribute.
i did not want to make this an anti ban thing, because it is not about that. i do not want to get this thread locked. it is about remembering someone who used to challenge me on a daily basis. someone who used to frustrate me on a daily basis, yet someone who gave me feedback on my creative writing when nobody else would give me honest criticism. and in the end, it is about someone who thought highly enough of me to reach out after she got banned to tell me how she really felt about out interactions.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
As to Pandora herself...earlier this afternoon I found myself thinking of her. Can't chalk it up to any particular reason, just happened. So I went to her memorial website (feels odd saying that) and read the contributions, the more than two pages that had accrued since I last visited there.
What a testament to her character. And the warmth, sincerity, in those testimonials.
One week is nowhere near to come to terms with loss like this, from the perspectives of husband and children. They are and will continue to be in my good thoughts, and she is too, I hope - in golden slumbers.
Strangely, like others have said, I have been moved by this turn of events. I even spoke to my wife about it. Pandora and I were never harsh with each other, but I do know I mocked her points of view at times when she afforded me more respect. This was shitty of me and I now regret the tact and words I used for the person I viewed in her memorial page. At the time I wrote them, I posted them to 'slow clap Eddie'.
I can't apologize now, but I can improve moving forward. Like many other times on this forum, I have learned something through my participation on it.
-Eddie Vedder, "Smile"
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
Peace
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
I really can't stand phoney posthumous compliments, so I had planned on taking moms advice ('if you have nothing nice to say....')....but I think if she's out there somewhere, it would put a smile on her face to hear me admit that she was the one person on this board, in nearly 15 years of posting, who consistently got under my skin
Not sure if that's a tribute, but.....
As mentioned here recently; most regular AMT posters thrive on these confrontations. So if nothing else, she kept me on my toes and kept things interesting.
RIP. Sympathies to her family.
I swear it was not said with malicious intent. You think I said that to rub salt in a wound or something? Come on...
I honestly think she'd be happy to know she pissed me off. God knows she tried
I felt like a dick ignoring this thread, but I wanted to say something honest.
If I died and she posted a bunch of positive compliments about me, I'd have rolled in my grave.
I could clearly see the positives people saw in her, but none of that positivity was ever directed at me; not once. And that's ok because I was no better to her. Doesn't mean I think she was a bad person, or I'm glad she's gone (even from the forums).
I really do wish her family peace...
That said, the sun will rise in the morning I can drive a few miles to the Atlantic Ocean to see it. Pandora can't do that anymore, however maybe she can in her afterlife.
RIPeace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
I was always taught to be respectful. I believe there's a guy named JB on these boards hurting right now. If you couldn't respect Pandora then at least respect him.
My heart also goes out to her many friends on the board.
Allow me to apologize for placing you on the spot and not allowing you to say your peace.