welll I'm not sure what autodidactic education means but one of things I tell him is pay attention and learn where ever he is,knoledge is never a waste of time.
but to answer your question I was speaking of institional education,common sense will grow as he does and he's pretty sharp for a 19 year old kid.
Godfather.
self taught... that's what autodidactic means. as for institutionalised education...
... do you ever think, or know, that it has an agenda... an agenda set by the establishment and that it needs to be approached wearily and with a modicum of detachment knowing that what it has in mind isn't necessarily what is beneficial to the student?
an agenda of conformity?
Are we getting something out of this all-encompassing trip?
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...
welll I'm not sure what autodidactic education means but one of things I tell him is pay attention and learn where ever he is,knoledge is never a waste of time.
but to answer your question I was speaking of institional education,common sense will grow as he does and he's pretty sharp for a 19 year old kid.
Godfather.
self taught... that's what autodidactic means. as for institutionalised education...
... do you ever think, or know, that it has an agenda... an agenda set by the establishment and that it needs to be approached wearily and with a modicum of detachment knowing that what it has in mind isn't necessarily what is beneficial to the student?
an agenda of conformity?
absolutely. the education system is about order and discipline... and occasionally some stellar child breaks free... usually by bucking the system... or playing them at their own game.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
“How can I set free anyone who doesn't have the guts to stand up alone and declare his own freedom? I think it's a lie – people claim they want to be free – everybody insists that freedom is what they want the most, the most sacred and precious thing a man can possess. But that's bullshit! People are terrified to be set free – they hold on to their chains. They fight anyone who tries to break those chains. It's their security…How can they expect me or anyone else to set them free if they don't really want to be free?”
Though I have felt this as well, and enjoyed this quote, try and resist criticizing my fellow humans that dress the same, have the same cars, follow the same career path because we as humans evolved from assimilating and being part of the tribe. Why it feels good to be part of a group, wave to fellow Harley riders, having college sticker on back of car, posting on PJ site ( ).
Now sometimes this yearning to be a part of a team is used against us by leaders who divide us into tribes to fight the other tribe for perceived safety, security and “Freedom”. Evildoers, Axis of Evil, Terrorists, Operation Freedom.
self taught... that's what autodidactic means. as for institutionalised education...
... do you ever think, or know, that it has an agenda... an agenda set by the establishment and that it needs to be approached wearily and with a modicum of detachment knowing that what it has in mind isn't necessarily what is beneficial to the student?
an agenda of conformity?
absolutely. the education system is about order and discipline... and occasionally some stellar child breaks free... usually by bucking the system... or playing them at their own game.
The crux of our current debacle of education is students and parents trying to game the system. I would also throw teachers and administrators into that problem as well. So many of my students are really wonderful but their main impetus for whatever they do is to pad their resume so they can participate in the larger culture that they want, whatever that may be. Their parents are the same way - pad the resume, conform, discipline (if they agree of course), order, and on and on
Are we getting something out of this all-encompassing trip?
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...
It's true that school is only part of a child's life, but it has always frustrated me that it is mostly a meaningless part of their lives. And our teachers- even our best teachers (and we have some great teachers right here on this board) have their hands tied by a static system.
One of my cousins put her daughter in a private "alternative" (Quaker, if I recall correctly) that I visited several years ago when I was taking classes to go into teaching. The curriculum in that school was totally integrated- not just integrated in terms of scholastic subjects, but integrated with life as a whole. Work, play, basic skills such as cooking, gardening, sewing, shop- it was all worked in together and I've never seen a healthier, happier group of kids anywhere.
So why is this type of schooling not the norm? Because our educational system is about training worker bees, not creative, whole persons.
My time in school - from child to young woman - was meaningful in various ways. Learned the basics from teachers who gave a shit, made "friends"/developed socially (well, somewhat :P ). Although I did take shop and cooking and sewing, I wish the basic skills you mentioned such as gardening and any others that encourage self-sufficiency had been offered.
However, I think it's (more) encumbent on parents to provide that side of education, or at the least to fill in the gaps where it's missing in school.
don't get on your high horse with me pandora. you dont intimidate me nor do i think cause youre older youre the font of all knowledge and reason. I asked you a question, one of many and one finally youve felt the need to answer.. and yet you do so with some sort of superior attitude. are you fuckin' kidding me? lifetime love, children and business?? that's your specifics??? your parents instilled on you a need for children, lifetime love and business??? but what is it they said about those things? did they tell you that business was something that was expected of you? that love and children were what was required of you in this life? or did they say that these things would form the basis of a long and fruitful life? what was the advice they gave you? what was theyre expectation for you in relation to what society expected? you say you thought that this is what was expected of you, but what was it that you wanted? and did you ever think, even once, that this was the 'wrong' course? and did you think because it all worked out for you that it was the right thing? do/did you ever think there could be more?
Intimidate with lifetime love, children and business ... really ?
did I strike some sort of chord in you...
could that be disappointment or jealousy? or you could admit it you didn't listen to my post
at all, more like it.
That was what I learned I wanted in life, expected in life and got in life.
Don't think I could have been any clearer.
My parents showed me all of the above ...
they showed me lifetime love, showed me how to nurture family life
and how to run a successful business ... that's what good parents do... they live the example and the cycle continues.
More of what ... the important stuff? Love is the important stuff to me.
And no never questioned just how lucky I was to find lasting love with an amazing life partner.
Always live by time will tell and keep the faith baby. Happiness is a personal place,
a place some never find.
Come on... seriously. How many of us grew up to be 'what we wanted' to be? I know I didn't set my course to sit in a cubicle, cycling data. We grow up to be what we end up being.
I'm not complaining... I have made a great career here... buried in the machinery of the Military/Industrial complex. It's just not what I dreamt of becoming as a child... a teen and a young adult. all of this, 'You can be whatever you want' bullshit we tell our kids is bullshit... and our kids know it. If it were so, it would mean none of us would be Database Administrators... or auto assembly workers... or retail clerks... or dock workers... or waiters/waitresses. We'd all be baseball players, rock musicians, astronauts, firemen or cops.
The point is... knowledge. Schools are supposed to be a place to learn about things that are outside your family circle. To provide you with skills of reasoning and critical thought to allow you to process the mountains of information you will be confronted with within your lifetime.
Schools are not supposed to spit out soldiers... then factory workers... then office workers. They are 'supposed to be' a place that provides you with truths your parents are not willing or able to tell you.
What we are supposed to do... is become our own being. Not something our parents set out to make us into.
Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
Hail, Hail!!!
I think the basis of the OP is that 'we' have too many expectations dumped on us (and we 'dump' the same way on others), expecting things to be just so - go a certain way, follow a certain path and we are 'trained' for that. For example, in some western countries, women are still expected to be somewhat educated, well groomed, get married, have babies and look after their house and husband who will be bringing in the money. Outdated 'values' maybe but high expectations and one is 'moulded' into those expectations and accepts them. This is just an easy example - there are many more. Breaking this mould is made difficult by society as a whole and by one's self as well.
Right. Because "culture" doesn't like "deviants". Hail the deviants, who pave their own path, dance to the beat of their own drummer and are truly the only ones who are free to be themselves! The world already has enough conformists anyway.
don't get on your high horse with me pandora. you dont intimidate me nor do i think cause youre older youre the font of all knowledge and reason. I asked you a question, one of many and one finally youve felt the need to answer.. and yet you do so with some sort of superior attitude. are you fuckin' kidding me? lifetime love, children and business?? that's your specifics??? your parents instilled on you a need for children, lifetime love and business??? but what is it they said about those things? did they tell you that business was something that was expected of you? that love and children were what was required of you in this life? or did they say that these things would form the basis of a long and fruitful life? what was the advice they gave you? what was theyre expectation for you in relation to what society expected? you say you thought that this is what was expected of you, but what was it that you wanted? and did you ever think, even once, that this was the 'wrong' course? and did you think because it all worked out for you that it was the right thing? do/did you ever think there could be more?
Intimidate with lifetime love, children and business ... really ?
did I strike some sort of chord in you...
could that be disappointment or jealousy? or you could admit it you didn't listen to my post
at all, more like it.
That was what I learned I wanted in life, expected in life and got in life.
Don't think I could have been any clearer.
My parents showed me all of the above ...
they showed me lifetime love, showed me how to nurture family life
and how to run a successful business ... that's what good parents do... they live the example and the cycle continues.
More of what ... the important stuff? Love is the important stuff to me.
And no never questioned just how lucky I was to find lasting love with an amazing life partner.
Always live by time will tell and keep the faith baby. Happiness is a personal place,
a place some never find.
Keep the personal comments out of this thoughtful thread. It will not be locked due to the need to get snarky.
Fifty years ago I think you might know what women were expected to do.
I had in my parents the most wonderful example of lifetime love, friendship, partnership.
What they instilled helped me know what I wanted and needed.
Thankfully JB had the same examples. Thankfully we met and made a grand life...
lifetime love, children, business.
This what I thought I was supposed to do and incredibly it worked out.
50 years ago I wasn't even born so how would I know?? come on Pandora you know your vagueness doesn't fly with me... you've not said what it is you thought you were suppose to do. youve simply danced around giving no specifics. I don't ask question simply to amuse myself. I ask to seek answers and as usual you give none.
so why continue to ask?
They say, to keep doing the same thing over and over , expecting a different result is a definition of insanity.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
Fifty years ago I think you might know what women were expected to do.
I had in my parents the most wonderful example of lifetime love, friendship, partnership.
What they instilled helped me know what I wanted and needed.
Thankfully JB had the same examples. Thankfully we met and made a grand life...
lifetime love, children, business.
This what I thought I was supposed to do and incredibly it worked out.
50 years ago I wasn't even born so how would I know?? come on Pandora you know your vagueness doesn't fly with me... you've not said what it is you thought you were suppose to do. youve simply danced around giving no specifics. I don't ask question simply to amuse myself. I ask to seek answers and as usual you give none.
so why continue to ask?
They say, to keep doing the same thing over and over , expecting a different result is a definition of insanity.
my dad calls me a dreamer.. which is where the lack of discipline comes from. I also see no great rush to do anything therefore I drag the chain on just about everything... again part of the dreamer psyche. were all gonna die one day I see no need to rush towards it.. if it wants me it can come get me. things will get done... but they get done in my time.
this a mirror or a internet? it's as if i read my own deal
in my head is the most incredible dreams known to mankind. it's unbalanced, insane & dangerous, beautifully romantic & out of order. a complete cluster fuckery of living something real or daydreaming. i am mentally & physically exhausted
Come on... seriously. How many of us grew up to be 'what we wanted' to be? I know I didn't set my course to sit in a cubicle, cycling data. We grow up to be what we end up being.
I'm not complaining... I have made a great career here... buried in the machinery of the Military/Industrial complex. It's just not what I dreamt of becoming as a child... a teen and a young adult. all of this, 'You can be whatever you want' bullshit we tell our kids is bullshit... and our kids know it. If it were so, it would mean none of us would be Database Administrators... or auto assembly workers... or retail clerks... or dock workers... or waiters/waitresses. We'd all be baseball players, rock musicians, astronauts, firemen or cops.
The point is... knowledge. Schools are supposed to be a place to learn about things that are outside your family circle. To provide you with skills of reasoning and critical thought to allow you to process the mountains of information you will be confronted with within your lifetime.
Schools are not supposed to spit out soldiers... then factory workers... then office workers. They are 'supposed to be' a place that provides you with truths your parents are not willing or able to tell you.
What we are supposed to do... is become our own being. Not something our parents set out to make us into.
First off, this is one of the best threads going on this train.
You really got me thinking here Cosmo. It's true, few of us will ever be what we aspire to in our highest dreams- not that we shouldn't dream. Even as my hands grow old and my ears are shot I still want to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix. In my dreams I think I have played that well. In my waking world out of all the many hours I've played I'm sure I've played a total of 96 seconds of Hendrix quality licks. So maybe what makes sense is to teach our kids it's ok to jump for the moon but to help them know its ok to only get a few feet off the ground.
Also, we're a society that worships it's stars to the point that sometimes we forget that ordinary people also have extraordinary moments. We're taught to expect to either be extraordinary in the public eye or just be another peon. That's nonsense. Every one of can do something remarkable and if we gave more support and encouragement to those around us and received some of that vibe back, we would all be better off.
One day about 10 years ago I must have been having a good hair day and had on the right threads and shades because this kid came up to me and asked if I was someone famous. I said, "No, I'm just me." He said, "Well, I think you're cool anyway," and I smiled and said, "Hey, thanks, man, I think you're cool too," and he got a big old grin on his face and said, "Thanks!" and for a minute or two we were both the coolest people in the world. Maybe that's all we need- just some shared confidence and support.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
0
brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 42,079
We could also ask, "What are we gonna do about it?" like Jim Morrison did on the night of March 1, 1969 at the Dinner Key Auditorium in Miami FL:
"You're all a bunch of f**kin' idiots. Let people tell you what you're gonna do. Let people push you around. How long do you think its gonna last? How long are you gonna let it go on? How long are you gonna let them push you around. Maybe you love it. Maybe you like being pushed around. Maybe you love getting your face stuck in the shit.....You're all a bunch of slaves. Bunch of slaves. Letting everybody push you around. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it...What are you gonna do?"
What did we do? We- most of us anyway- did nothing. We got comfortably stuck in our comfortable boring lives. We grew up and we grew sedate. We forgot we were going to change the world- but then for the most part the "revolutionary" thinking of the times was just a big party and when the party got too serious it was time to leave. Sometimes I think now and again we need this kind of reprimand, this kind of challenge.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
The Commencement Address by Paul Hawken to the Class of 2009, University of Portland, May 3, 2009
When I was invited to give this speech, I was asked if I could give a simple short talk that was “direct, naked, taut, honest, passionate, lean, shivering, startling, and graceful.” No pressure there.
Let’s begin with the startling part. Class of 2009: you are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on earth at a time when every living system is declining, and the rate of decline is accelerating. Kind of a mind-boggling situation… but not one peer-reviewed paper published in the last thirty years can refute that statement. Basically, civilization needs a new operating system, you are the programmers, and we need it within a few decades.
This planet came with a set of instructions, but we seem to have misplaced them. Important rules like don’t poison the water, soil, or air, don’t let the earth get overcrowded, and don’t touch the thermostat have been broken. Buckminster Fuller said that spaceship earth was so ingeniously designed that no one has a clue that we are on one, flying through the universe at a million miles per hour, with no need for seat belts, lots of room in coach, and really good food—but all that is changing.
There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn’t bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: You are Brilliant, and the Earth is Hiring. The earth couldn’t afford to send recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here’s the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don’t be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see ifit was impossible only after you are done.
When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and aren’t pessimistic, you don’t understand the data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren’t optimistic, you haven’t got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world. The poet Adrienne Rich wrote, “So much has been destroyed I have cast my lot with those who, age after age, perversely, with no extraordinary power, reconstitute the world.” There could be no better description. Humanity is coalescing. It is reconstituting the world, and the action is taking place in schoolrooms, farms, jungles, villages,campuses, companies, refuge camps, deserts, fisheries, and slums.
You join a multitude of caring people. No one knows how many groups and organizations are working on the most salient issues of our day: climate change, poverty, deforestation, peace, water, hunger, conservation, human rights, and more. This is the largest movement the world has ever seen. Rather than control, it seeks connection. Rather than dominance, it strives to disperse concentrations of power. Like Mercy Corps, it works behind the scenes and gets the job done. Large as it is, no one knows the true size of this movement. It provides hope, support, and meaning to billions of people in the world. Its clout resides in idea, not in force. It is made up of teachers, children, peasants, businesspeople, rappers, organic farmers, nuns, artists, government workers, fisherfolk, engineers, students, incorrigible writers, weeping Muslims, concerned mothers, poets, doctors without borders, grieving Christians, street musicians, the President of the United States of America, and as the writer David James Duncan would say, the Creator, the One who loves us all in such a huge way.
There is a rabbinical teaching that says if the world is ending and the Messiah arrives, first plant a tree, and then see if the story is true. Inspiration is not garnered from the litanies of what may befall us; it resides in humanity’s willingness to restore, redress, reform, rebuild, recover, reimagine, and reconsider. “One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice,” is Mary Oliver’s description of moving away from the profane toward a deep sense of connectedness to the living world.
Millions of people are working on behalf of strangers, even if the evening news is usually about the death of strangers. This kindness of strangers has religious, even mythic origins, and very specific eighteenth-century roots. Abolitionists were the first people to create a national and global movement to defend the rights of those they did not know. Until that time, no group had filed a grievance except on behalf of itself. The founders of this movement were largely unknown — Granville Clark, Thomas Clarkson, Josiah Wedgwood — and their goal was ridiculous on the face of it: at that time three out of four people in the world were enslaved. Enslaving each other was what human beings had done for ages. And the abolitionist movement was greeted with incredulity. Conservative spokesmen ridiculed the abolitionists as liberals, progressives, do-gooders, meddlers, and activists. They were told they would ruin the economy and drive England into poverty. But for the first time in history a group of people organized themselves to help people they would never know, from whom they would never receive direct or indirect benefit. And today tens of millions of people do this every day. It is called the world of non-profits, civil society, schools, social entrepreneurship, non-governmental organizations, and companies who place social and environmental justice at the top of their strategic goals. The scope and scale of this effort is unparalleled in history.
The living world is not “out there” somewhere, but in your heart. What do we know about life? In the words of biologist Janine Benyus, life creates the conditions that are conducive to life. I can think of no better motto for a future economy. We have tens of thousands of abandoned homes without people and tens of thousands of abandoned people without homes. We have failed bankers advising failed regulators on how to save failed assets. We are the only species on the planet without full employment. Brilliant. We have an economy that tells us that it is cheaper to destroy earth in real time rather than renew, restore, and sustain it. You can print money to bail out a bank but you can’t print life to bail out a planet. At present we are stealing the future, selling it in the present, and calling it gross domestic product. We can just as easily have an economy that is based on healing the future instead of stealing it. We can either create assets for the future or take the assets of the future. One is called restoration and the other exploitation. And whenever we exploit the earth we exploit people and cause untold suffering. Working for the earth is not a way to get rich, it is a way to be rich.
The first living cell came into being nearly 40 million centuries ago, and its direct descendants are in all of our bloodstreams. Literally you are breathing molecules this very second that were inhaled by Moses, Mother Teresa, and Bono. We are vastly interconnected. Our fates are inseparable. We are here because the dream of every cell is to become two cells. And dreams come true. In each of you are one quadrillion cells, 90 percent of which are not human cells. Your body is a community, and without those other microorganisms you would perish in hours. Each human cell has 400 billion molecules conducting millions of processes between trillions of atoms. The total cellular activity in one human body is staggering: one septillion actions at any one moment, a one with twenty-four zeros after it. In a millisecond, our body has undergone ten times more processes than there are stars in the universe, which is exactly what Charles Darwin foretold when he said science would discover that each living creature was a “little universe, formed of a host of self-propagating organisms, inconceivably minute and as numerous as the stars of heaven.”
So I have two questions for you all: First, can you feel your body? Stop for a moment. Feel your body. One septillion activities going on simultaneously, and your body does this so well you are free to ignore it, and wonder instead when this speech will end. You can feel it. It is called life. This is who you are. Second question: who is in charge of your body? Who is managing those molecules? Hopefully not a political party. Life is creating the conditions that are conducive to life inside you, just as in all of nature. Our innate nature is to create the conditions that are conducive to life. What I want you to imagine is that collectively humanity is evincing a deep innate wisdom in coming together to heal the wounds and insults of the past.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would create new religions overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night and we watch television. This extraordinary time when we are globally aware of each other and the multiple dangers that threaten civilization has never happened, not in a thousand years, not in ten thousand years. Each of us is as complex and beautiful as all the stars in the universe. We have done great things and we have gone way off course in terms of honoring creation. You are graduating to the most amazing, stupefying challenge ever bequested to any generation. The generations before you failed. They didn’t stay up all night. They got distracted and lost sight of the fact that life is a miracle every moment of your existence. Nature beckons you to be on her side. You couldn’t ask for a better boss. The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer. Hope only makes sense when it doesn’t make sense to be hopeful. This is your century. Take it and run as if your life depends on it.
Paul Hawken is a renowned entrepreneur, visionary environmental activist, and author of many books, most recently Blessed Unrest: How the Largest Movement in the World Came into Being and Why No One Saw It Coming. He was presented with an honorary doctorate of humane letters by University president Father Bill Beauchamp, C.S.C., in May, when he delivered this superb speech. Our thanks especially to Erica Linson for her help making that moment possible. http://www.paulhawken.com
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brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 42,079
^^^ excellent, Rollings. Thank you!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Fifty years ago I think you might know what women were expected to do.
I had in my parents the most wonderful example of lifetime love, friendship, partnership.
What they instilled helped me know what I wanted and needed.
Thankfully JB had the same examples. Thankfully we met and made a grand life...
lifetime love, children, business.
This what I thought I was supposed to do and incredibly it worked out.
50 years ago I wasn't even born so how would I know?? come on Pandora you know your vagueness doesn't fly with me... you've not said what it is you thought you were suppose to do. youve simply danced around giving no specifics. I don't ask question simply to amuse myself. I ask to seek answers and as usual you give none.
so why continue to ask?
They say, to keep doing the same thing over and over , expecting a different result is a definition of insanity.
*sigh* mickey I don't know. I guess when I ask a question I somehow expect it to be answered. call it manners. but it is also how I seek knowledge. I ask a question, it is answered and I take one step closer to understanding. if it remains unanswered then my mind starts to wonder.. considering all the possibilities yet not knowing what the answer is.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
*sigh* mickey I don't know. I guess when I ask a question I somehow expect it to be answered. call it manners. but it is also how I seek knowledge. I ask a question, it is answered and I take one step closer to understanding. if it remains unanswered then my mind starts to wonder.. considering all the possibilities yet not knowing what the answer is.
I like your honesty, cate.
My question (not sure if there is an answer :P ) is when you ask a question and it's answered - and while I agree that it all helps to understand even in some small way - who says that answer is...THE answer?
Maybe no answers spurs the need to find them, or at least sift through it all and come to our own conclusions.
Maybe with a sprinkling of what we've picked up from others on the way.
*sigh* mickey I don't know. I guess when I ask a question I somehow expect it to be answered. call it manners. but it is also how I seek knowledge. I ask a question, it is answered and I take one step closer to understanding. if it remains unanswered then my mind starts to wonder.. considering all the possibilities yet not knowing what the answer is.
"And that's the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too. -K. Hosseini The Kite Runner
Fifty years ago I think you might know what women were expected to do.
I had in my parents the most wonderful example of lifetime love, friendship, partnership.
What they instilled helped me know what I wanted and needed.
Thankfully JB had the same examples.Thankfully we met and made a grand life...
lifetime love, children, business.
This what I thought I was supposed to do and incredibly it worked out.
50 years ago I wasn't even born so how would I know?? come on Pandora you know your vagueness doesn't fly with me... you've not said what it is you thought you were suppose to do. youve simply danced around giving no specifics. I don't ask question simply to amuse myself. I ask to seek answers and as usual you give none.
so why continue to ask?
They say, to keep doing the same thing over and over , expecting a different result is a definition of insanity.
It was answered... Cate just didn't read maybe or didn't like the answer.
It was right there in black and white which I now made red .
I thought back over the combativeness and truly had to wonder why :?
Personal happiness and fulfillment is just that, very personal.
Our fulfillment we learn from small on by watching our role models.
Who is to question what we find happiness and fulfillment in during our lives.
Everyone is different and I have found some people can not be satisfied
nor can not find peace. I have been fortunate to find those important ingredients to happiness.
Letting go of anger, resentment, negativity, disappointment and envy is freeing.
Forgiving myself and others all important in personal happiness and success.
don't get on your high horse with me pandora. you dont intimidate me nor do i think cause youre older youre the font of all knowledge and reason. I asked you a question, one of many and one finally youve felt the need to answer.. and yet you do so with some sort of superior attitude. are you fuckin' kidding me? lifetime love, children and business?? that's your specifics??? your parents instilled on you a need for children, lifetime love and business??? but what is it they said about those things? did they tell you that business was something that was expected of you? that love and children were what was required of you in this life? or did they say that these things would form the basis of a long and fruitful life? what was the advice they gave you? what was theyre expectation for you in relation to what society expected? you say you thought that this is what was expected of you, but what was it that you wanted? and did you ever think, even once, that this was the 'wrong' course? and did you think because it all worked out for you that it was the right thing? do/did you ever think there could be more?
Intimidate with lifetime love, children and business ... really ?
did I strike some sort of chord in you...
could that be disappointment or jealousy? or you could admit it you didn't listen to my post
at all, more like it.
That was what I learned I wanted in life, expected in life and got in life.
Don't think I could have been any clearer.
My parents showed me all of the above ...
they showed me lifetime love, showed me how to nurture family life
and how to run a successful business ... that's what good parents do... they live the example and the cycle continues.
More of what ... the important stuff? Love is the important stuff to me.
And no never questioned just how lucky I was to find lasting love with an amazing life partner.
Always live by time will tell and keep the faith baby. Happiness is a personal place,
a place some never find.
Keep the personal comments out of this thoughtful thread. It will not be locked due to the need to get snarky.
take your own advice for once ...
Its pretty obvious I answered the question at hand with what I thought I should do in life...
have a loving lasting relationship, raise children nurture a family and own a business.
I was fortunate to find a man who had the same examples in his life and together we worked
to make all three a success. By the grace of God we were blessed with health, love and happiness.
And this success came from the examples both JB and I had growing up.
That inspired and instilled in us the need. This seems so very basic to me, for the life of me
I can not understand the reaction.
Who would have thought my answer could rouse so much combativeness.
Why :?
Also, we're a society that worships it's stars to the point that sometimes we forget that ordinary people also have extraordinary moments. We're taught to expect to either be extraordinary in the public eye or just be another peon. That's nonsense. Every one of can do something remarkable and if we gave more support and encouragement to those around us and received some of that vibe back, we would all be better off.
One day about 10 years ago I must have been having a good hair day and had on the right threads and shades because this kid came up to me and asked if I was someone famous. I said, "No, I'm just me." He said, "Well, I think you're cool anyway," and I smiled and said, "Hey, thanks, man, I think you're cool too," and he got a big old grin on his face and said, "Thanks!" and for a minute or two we were both the coolest people in the world. Maybe that's all we need- just some shared confidence and support.
Great story Brian. Support and encouragement. Hell, simply giving a stranger a compliment can change their (and your) day. So, really, every moment can be extraordinary.
Maybe this will help in attempting to break the mold of doing what we're supposed to.
The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying
A palliative nurse recorded the most common regrets of the dying and put her findings into a book called ‘The Top Five Regrets of The Dying.’ It’s not surprising to see what made the list as they are all things that touch each of our lives as we struggle to pay attention to and make time for things that we truly love. Below is the list of each regret along with an excerpt from the book. At the bottom is also a link to the book for anyone interested in checking it out.
One thing on regret before we get to the list. It’s important to remember that whatever stage we are at in life, there is no need for regret. The process of regret is one that provides nothing but suffering for ourselves as we begin to allow the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, we can use the past as a reference point to understand what adjustments we would like to make moving forward. The adjustments do not have to come out of pain, sorrow, regret or judgment, but simply a choice to do things in a different way. We are learning all the time, we can very quickly slow that learning process down by getting stuck in the idea of regret. When it comes to making changes, be at peace with the past and remember that each moment is a new choice.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
Powerful post there, Jeanwah, especially the second paragraph about regrets. In a way, it's comforting to me.
If I'm honest with myself (try to be), number 4 probably hits closest to home in ways...although if those are the top regrets, I'd say I'm doing alright
*edited TWICE - cat #1 thinks smack-dab in front of the monitor is a fine place to chill.
Fifty years ago I think you might know what women were expected to do.
I had in my parents the most wonderful example of lifetime love, friendship, partnership.
What they instilled helped me know what I wanted and needed.
Thankfully JB had the same examples.Thankfully we met and made a grand life...
lifetime love, children, business.
This what I thought I was supposed to do and incredibly it worked out.
It was answered... Cate just didn't read maybe or didn't like the answer.
It was right there in black and white which I now made red .
I thought back over the combativeness and truly had to wonder why :?
Personal happiness and fulfillment is just that, very personal.
Our fulfillment we learn from small on by watching our role models.
Who is to question what we find happiness and fulfillment in during our lives.
Everyone is different and I have found some people can not be satisfied
nor can not find peace. I have been fortunate to find those important ingredients to happiness.
Letting go of anger, resentment, negativity, disappointment and envy is freeing.
Forgiving myself and others all important in personal happiness and success.
you say this is what you thought you were suppose to do... did you ever question it? or were you simply happy to follow the path someone told you was the one to follow? or did you watch your parents and see the path theyd taken was very appealing to you and so that was the example you decided to follow? it is awesome that you had strong parents but my question is was there a time when you felt the need to deviate from what theyd instilled in you. what I find the most interesting is the need to own/run a business. that's the part im thinking most about. did your parents ever say baby that's great but you know what we want for you is for you to be happy.. in whatever you choose to do? and we will be there to support you whatever you decide oh and did you choose to go into the same kind of business as your parents or choose something wildly different?
I don't ask these questions to be combative Pandora. I ask them cause I have a difficult time dealing with life at times and im trying to keep that away from the decisions I make in regards to my children. im also incredibly curious about what makes people tick.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Comments
an agenda of conformity?
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...
I AM MINE
absolutely. the education system is about order and discipline... and occasionally some stellar child breaks free... usually by bucking the system... or playing them at their own game.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Now sometimes this yearning to be a part of a team is used against us by leaders who divide us into tribes to fight the other tribe for perceived safety, security and “Freedom”. Evildoers, Axis of Evil, Terrorists, Operation Freedom.
The crux of our current debacle of education is students and parents trying to game the system. I would also throw teachers and administrators into that problem as well. So many of my students are really wonderful but their main impetus for whatever they do is to pad their resume so they can participate in the larger culture that they want, whatever that may be. Their parents are the same way - pad the resume, conform, discipline (if they agree of course), order, and on and on
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...
I AM MINE
However, I think it's (more) encumbent on parents to provide that side of education, or at the least to fill in the gaps where it's missing in school.
Intimidate with lifetime love, children and business ... really ?
did I strike some sort of chord in you...
could that be disappointment or jealousy? or you could admit it you didn't listen to my post
at all, more like it.
That was what I learned I wanted in life, expected in life and got in life.
Don't think I could have been any clearer.
My parents showed me all of the above ...
they showed me lifetime love, showed me how to nurture family life
and how to run a successful business ... that's what good parents do...
they live the example and the cycle continues.
More of what ... the important stuff? Love is the important stuff to me.
And no never questioned just how lucky I was to find lasting love with an amazing life partner.
Always live by time will tell and keep the faith baby. Happiness is a personal place,
a place some never find.
I'm not complaining... I have made a great career here... buried in the machinery of the Military/Industrial complex. It's just not what I dreamt of becoming as a child... a teen and a young adult. all of this, 'You can be whatever you want' bullshit we tell our kids is bullshit... and our kids know it. If it were so, it would mean none of us would be Database Administrators... or auto assembly workers... or retail clerks... or dock workers... or waiters/waitresses. We'd all be baseball players, rock musicians, astronauts, firemen or cops.
The point is... knowledge. Schools are supposed to be a place to learn about things that are outside your family circle. To provide you with skills of reasoning and critical thought to allow you to process the mountains of information you will be confronted with within your lifetime.
Schools are not supposed to spit out soldiers... then factory workers... then office workers. They are 'supposed to be' a place that provides you with truths your parents are not willing or able to tell you.
What we are supposed to do... is become our own being. Not something our parents set out to make us into.
Hail, Hail!!!
Right. Because "culture" doesn't like "deviants". Hail the deviants, who pave their own path, dance to the beat of their own drummer and are truly the only ones who are free to be themselves! The world already has enough conformists anyway.
Keep the personal comments out of this thoughtful thread. It will not be locked due to the need to get snarky.
They say, to keep doing the same thing over and over , expecting a different result is a definition of insanity.
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
That is a good point.
You're welcome.
in my head is the most incredible dreams known to mankind. it's unbalanced, insane & dangerous, beautifully romantic & out of order. a complete cluster fuckery of living something real or daydreaming. i am mentally & physically exhausted
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
First off, this is one of the best threads going on this train.
You really got me thinking here Cosmo. It's true, few of us will ever be what we aspire to in our highest dreams- not that we shouldn't dream. Even as my hands grow old and my ears are shot I still want to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix. In my dreams I think I have played that well. In my waking world out of all the many hours I've played I'm sure I've played a total of 96 seconds of Hendrix quality licks. So maybe what makes sense is to teach our kids it's ok to jump for the moon but to help them know its ok to only get a few feet off the ground.
Also, we're a society that worships it's stars to the point that sometimes we forget that ordinary people also have extraordinary moments. We're taught to expect to either be extraordinary in the public eye or just be another peon. That's nonsense. Every one of can do something remarkable and if we gave more support and encouragement to those around us and received some of that vibe back, we would all be better off.
One day about 10 years ago I must have been having a good hair day and had on the right threads and shades because this kid came up to me and asked if I was someone famous. I said, "No, I'm just me." He said, "Well, I think you're cool anyway," and I smiled and said, "Hey, thanks, man, I think you're cool too," and he got a big old grin on his face and said, "Thanks!" and for a minute or two we were both the coolest people in the world. Maybe that's all we need- just some shared confidence and support.
"You're all a bunch of f**kin' idiots. Let people tell you what you're gonna do. Let people push you around. How long do you think its gonna last? How long are you gonna let it go on? How long are you gonna let them push you around. Maybe you love it. Maybe you like being pushed around. Maybe you love getting your face stuck in the shit.....You're all a bunch of slaves. Bunch of slaves. Letting everybody push you around. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it...What are you gonna do?"
What did we do? We- most of us anyway- did nothing. We got comfortably stuck in our comfortable boring lives. We grew up and we grew sedate. We forgot we were going to change the world- but then for the most part the "revolutionary" thinking of the times was just a big party and when the party got too serious it was time to leave. Sometimes I think now and again we need this kind of reprimand, this kind of challenge.
You Are Brilliant, and the Earth is Hiring
The Commencement Address by Paul Hawken to the Class of 2009, University of Portland, May 3, 2009
When I was invited to give this speech, I was asked if I could give a simple short talk that was “direct, naked, taut, honest, passionate, lean, shivering, startling, and graceful.” No pressure there.
Let’s begin with the startling part. Class of 2009: you are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on earth at a time when every living system is declining, and the rate of decline is accelerating. Kind of a mind-boggling situation… but not one peer-reviewed paper published in the last thirty years can refute that statement. Basically, civilization needs a new operating system, you are the programmers, and we need it within a few decades.
This planet came with a set of instructions, but we seem to have misplaced them. Important rules like don’t poison the water, soil, or air, don’t let the earth get overcrowded, and don’t touch the thermostat have been broken. Buckminster Fuller said that spaceship earth was so ingeniously designed that no one has a clue that we are on one, flying through the universe at a million miles per hour, with no need for seat belts, lots of room in coach, and really good food—but all that is changing.
There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn’t bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: You are Brilliant, and the Earth is Hiring. The earth couldn’t afford to send recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here’s the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don’t be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see ifit was impossible only after you are done.
When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and aren’t pessimistic, you don’t understand the data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren’t optimistic, you haven’t got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world. The poet Adrienne Rich wrote, “So much has been destroyed I have cast my lot with those who, age after age, perversely, with no extraordinary power, reconstitute the world.” There could be no better description. Humanity is coalescing. It is reconstituting the world, and the action is taking place in schoolrooms, farms, jungles, villages,campuses, companies, refuge camps, deserts, fisheries, and slums.
You join a multitude of caring people. No one knows how many groups and organizations are working on the most salient issues of our day: climate change, poverty, deforestation, peace, water, hunger, conservation, human rights, and more. This is the largest movement the world has ever seen. Rather than control, it seeks connection. Rather than dominance, it strives to disperse concentrations of power. Like Mercy Corps, it works behind the scenes and gets the job done. Large as it is, no one knows the true size of this movement. It provides hope, support, and meaning to billions of people in the world. Its clout resides in idea, not in force. It is made up of teachers, children, peasants, businesspeople, rappers, organic farmers, nuns, artists, government workers, fisherfolk, engineers, students, incorrigible writers, weeping Muslims, concerned mothers, poets, doctors without borders, grieving Christians, street musicians, the President of the United States of America, and as the writer David James Duncan would say, the Creator, the One who loves us all in such a huge way.
There is a rabbinical teaching that says if the world is ending and the Messiah arrives, first plant a tree, and then see if the story is true. Inspiration is not garnered from the litanies of what may befall us; it resides in humanity’s willingness to restore, redress, reform, rebuild, recover, reimagine, and reconsider. “One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice,” is Mary Oliver’s description of moving away from the profane toward a deep sense of connectedness to the living world.
Millions of people are working on behalf of strangers, even if the evening news is usually about the death of strangers. This kindness of strangers has religious, even mythic origins, and very specific eighteenth-century roots. Abolitionists were the first people to create a national and global movement to defend the rights of those they did not know. Until that time, no group had filed a grievance except on behalf of itself. The founders of this movement were largely unknown — Granville Clark, Thomas Clarkson, Josiah Wedgwood — and their goal was ridiculous on the face of it: at that time three out of four people in the world were enslaved. Enslaving each other was what human beings had done for ages. And the abolitionist movement was greeted with incredulity. Conservative spokesmen ridiculed the abolitionists as liberals, progressives, do-gooders, meddlers, and activists. They were told they would ruin the economy and drive England into poverty. But for the first time in history a group of people organized themselves to help people they would never know, from whom they would never receive direct or indirect benefit. And today tens of millions of people do this every day. It is called the world of non-profits, civil society, schools, social entrepreneurship, non-governmental organizations, and companies who place social and environmental justice at the top of their strategic goals. The scope and scale of this effort is unparalleled in history.
The living world is not “out there” somewhere, but in your heart. What do we know about life? In the words of biologist Janine Benyus, life creates the conditions that are conducive to life. I can think of no better motto for a future economy. We have tens of thousands of abandoned homes without people and tens of thousands of abandoned people without homes. We have failed bankers advising failed regulators on how to save failed assets. We are the only species on the planet without full employment. Brilliant. We have an economy that tells us that it is cheaper to destroy earth in real time rather than renew, restore, and sustain it. You can print money to bail out a bank but you can’t print life to bail out a planet. At present we are stealing the future, selling it in the present, and calling it gross domestic product. We can just as easily have an economy that is based on healing the future instead of stealing it. We can either create assets for the future or take the assets of the future. One is called restoration and the other exploitation. And whenever we exploit the earth we exploit people and cause untold suffering. Working for the earth is not a way to get rich, it is a way to be rich.
The first living cell came into being nearly 40 million centuries ago, and its direct descendants are in all of our bloodstreams. Literally you are breathing molecules this very second that were inhaled by Moses, Mother Teresa, and Bono. We are vastly interconnected. Our fates are inseparable. We are here because the dream of every cell is to become two cells. And dreams come true. In each of you are one quadrillion cells, 90 percent of which are not human cells. Your body is a community, and without those other microorganisms you would perish in hours. Each human cell has 400 billion molecules conducting millions of processes between trillions of atoms. The total cellular activity in one human body is staggering: one septillion actions at any one moment, a one with twenty-four zeros after it. In a millisecond, our body has undergone ten times more processes than there are stars in the universe, which is exactly what Charles Darwin foretold when he said science would discover that each living creature was a “little universe, formed of a host of self-propagating organisms, inconceivably minute and as numerous as the stars of heaven.”
So I have two questions for you all: First, can you feel your body? Stop for a moment. Feel your body. One septillion activities going on simultaneously, and your body does this so well you are free to ignore it, and wonder instead when this speech will end. You can feel it. It is called life. This is who you are. Second question: who is in charge of your body? Who is managing those molecules? Hopefully not a political party. Life is creating the conditions that are conducive to life inside you, just as in all of nature. Our innate nature is to create the conditions that are conducive to life. What I want you to imagine is that collectively humanity is evincing a deep innate wisdom in coming together to heal the wounds and insults of the past.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would create new religions overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night and we watch television.
This extraordinary time when we are globally aware of each other and the multiple dangers that threaten civilization has never happened, not in a thousand years, not in ten thousand years. Each of us is as complex and beautiful as all the stars in the universe. We have done great things and we have gone way off course in terms of honoring creation. You are graduating to the most amazing, stupefying challenge ever bequested to any generation. The generations before you failed. They didn’t stay up all night. They got distracted and lost sight of the fact that life is a miracle every moment of your existence. Nature beckons you to be on her side. You couldn’t ask for a better boss. The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer. Hope only makes sense when it doesn’t make sense to be hopeful. This is your century. Take it and run as if your life depends on it.
Paul Hawken is a renowned entrepreneur, visionary environmental activist, and author of many books, most recently Blessed Unrest: How the Largest Movement in the World Came into Being and Why No One Saw It Coming. He was presented with an honorary doctorate of humane letters by University president Father Bill Beauchamp, C.S.C., in May, when he delivered this superb speech. Our thanks especially to Erica Linson for her help making that moment possible. http://www.paulhawken.com
*sigh* mickey I don't know. I guess when I ask a question I somehow expect it to be answered. call it manners. but it is also how I seek knowledge. I ask a question, it is answered and I take one step closer to understanding. if it remains unanswered then my mind starts to wonder.. considering all the possibilities yet not knowing what the answer is.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
My question (not sure if there is an answer :P ) is when you ask a question and it's answered - and while I agree that it all helps to understand even in some small way - who says that answer is...THE answer?
Maybe no answers spurs the need to find them, or at least sift through it all and come to our own conclusions.
Maybe with a sprinkling of what we've picked up from others on the way.
"And that's the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too. -K. Hosseini The Kite Runner
I'm the same way Cate.
Too bad he was such a drunk, he was quite the intellectual and poet. If anyone pushed boundaries it was him.
It was answered... Cate just didn't read maybe or didn't like the answer.
It was right there in black and white which I now made red
I thought back over the combativeness and truly had to wonder why :?
Personal happiness and fulfillment is just that, very personal.
Our fulfillment we learn from small on by watching our role models.
Who is to question what we find happiness and fulfillment in during our lives.
Everyone is different and I have found some people can not be satisfied
nor can not find peace. I have been fortunate to find those important ingredients to happiness.
Letting go of anger, resentment, negativity, disappointment and envy is freeing.
Forgiving myself and others all important in personal happiness and success.
Its pretty obvious I answered the question at hand with what I thought I should do in life...
have a loving lasting relationship, raise children nurture a family and own a business.
I was fortunate to find a man who had the same examples in his life and together we worked
to make all three a success. By the grace of God we were blessed with health, love and happiness.
And this success came from the examples both JB and I had growing up.
That inspired and instilled in us the need. This seems so very basic to me, for the life of me
I can not understand the reaction.
Who would have thought my answer could rouse so much combativeness.
Why :?
Great story Brian. Support and encouragement. Hell, simply giving a stranger a compliment can change their (and your) day. So, really, every moment can be extraordinary.
The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying
A palliative nurse recorded the most common regrets of the dying and put her findings into a book called ‘The Top Five Regrets of The Dying.’ It’s not surprising to see what made the list as they are all things that touch each of our lives as we struggle to pay attention to and make time for things that we truly love. Below is the list of each regret along with an excerpt from the book. At the bottom is also a link to the book for anyone interested in checking it out.
One thing on regret before we get to the list. It’s important to remember that whatever stage we are at in life, there is no need for regret. The process of regret is one that provides nothing but suffering for ourselves as we begin to allow the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, we can use the past as a reference point to understand what adjustments we would like to make moving forward. The adjustments do not have to come out of pain, sorrow, regret or judgment, but simply a choice to do things in a different way. We are learning all the time, we can very quickly slow that learning process down by getting stuck in the idea of regret. When it comes to making changes, be at peace with the past and remember that each moment is a new choice.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
http://www.collective-evolution.com/201 ... the-dying/
If I'm honest with myself (try to be), number 4 probably hits closest to home in ways...although if those are the top regrets, I'd say I'm doing alright
*edited TWICE - cat #1 thinks smack-dab in front of the monitor is a fine place to chill.
you say this is what you thought you were suppose to do... did you ever question it? or were you simply happy to follow the path someone told you was the one to follow? or did you watch your parents and see the path theyd taken was very appealing to you and so that was the example you decided to follow? it is awesome that you had strong parents but my question is was there a time when you felt the need to deviate from what theyd instilled in you. what I find the most interesting is the need to own/run a business. that's the part im thinking most about. did your parents ever say baby that's great but you know what we want for you is for you to be happy.. in whatever you choose to do? and we will be there to support you whatever you decide oh and did you choose to go into the same kind of business as your parents or choose something wildly different?
I don't ask these questions to be combative Pandora. I ask them cause I have a difficult time dealing with life at times and im trying to keep that away from the decisions I make in regards to my children. im also incredibly curious about what makes people tick.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say