Assholes: A Theory
Byrnzie
Posts: 21,037
Hmm, the thing about assholes eating smelly food on trains, or buses, is that not only does it stink the train or bus out, but it makes your face greasy. Personally, I don't think anything annoys me more than some asshole eating hot food on public transport. I mean, why not eat your shit whilst waiting for the bus to arrive, instead of waiting until you get into an enclosed space with other people before unwrapping your stink bomb?
Anyway...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... fe-asshole
This column will change your life: don't let an asshole get to you
The challenge, in dealing with people such as phone-shouters, is that it's hard to resist the temptation to fight
Oliver Burkeman
The Guardian, Friday 30 November 2012
One of the great strengths of the English language is the number of ways it provides to describe people who annoy us. True, German has the word "Backpfeifengesicht" – "a face in need of a punch" – but English overwhelms us with options, thanks partly to its abundance of vulgarisms. If I call you a "wanker" I mean something subtly different from a "dickhead". (It can be hard to pinpoint these nuances without resort to further swearing, as demonstrated by users of urbandictionary.com, as they struggle to define a "prick": "An all around fucktard, dickweed, assrat bastard.") These differences aren't just a matter of intensity. We can presumably all agree that Simon Cowell is a bit of a tosser. But his success makes it hard to dismiss him as a fuckwit, while it's not clear he's guilty of the malice that would condemn him as a shit.
The American philosopher Aaron James makes an important contribution to this discussion in his new book Assholes: A Theory. (Let's stick with his spelling: an "arsehole", I think, is slightly more of a fool, and less of a villain, than an asshole.) Assholes, as James defines the term, present a conundrum: they enrage us out of all proportion to the damage they do. The asshole shouting into his phone on the bus, eating a smelly burger on the train or giving a running commentary at the cinema hardly ruins our lives. Yet there's something about them "bad enough to drive an otherwise coolheaded person into a fit of rage". That something, James concludes, is their failure to recognise the equal moral status of others. The asshole "allows himself to enjoy special advantage… out of an entrenched sense of entitlement", immunised against complaints. Obliviousness is a crucial ingredient here. We're outraged not by the phone-shouter's noise, but his refusal to grant that our interests count.
James offers a taxonomy of assholes, including the boorish asshole (Noel Gallagher), the reckless asshole (Dick Cheney) and the smug asshole (Richard Dawkins – who may be right about atheism, but who comes across as an asshole, James argues, because he seems to consider himself specially entitled to ignore the toughest philosophical arguments against his position). By no means all obnoxious behaviour is assholish: the queue-jumper who has no grasp of doing wrong may be a psychopath, while the queue-jumper who believes she has a special one-off justification for queue-jumping may just be selfish. Only the asshole queue-jumper thinks it's right that the rules against queue-jumping shouldn't apply to him.
The challenge, in dealing with assholes, is that it's hard to resist the temptation to fight on their terms: when you explode in rage at an asshole, James argues, you're really demanding that he recognise your moral status. But that defines you as a supplicant, and an inferior, seeking his approval, thus reinforcing the asshole's worldview – so don't be shocked if it doesn't work. A better, albeit harder, plan is to remind yourself that you're outraged less by the asshole's actions than by his inner motivations. A nasty smell on a train – or a few minutes' longer waiting in line – is a mild irritation, against which you may be justified in taking proportionate action. But the asshole's moral attitudes, in a deep sense, are none of your business. Getting too psychologically enmeshed in them just makes you a wazzock.
Anyway...
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... fe-asshole
This column will change your life: don't let an asshole get to you
The challenge, in dealing with people such as phone-shouters, is that it's hard to resist the temptation to fight
Oliver Burkeman
The Guardian, Friday 30 November 2012
One of the great strengths of the English language is the number of ways it provides to describe people who annoy us. True, German has the word "Backpfeifengesicht" – "a face in need of a punch" – but English overwhelms us with options, thanks partly to its abundance of vulgarisms. If I call you a "wanker" I mean something subtly different from a "dickhead". (It can be hard to pinpoint these nuances without resort to further swearing, as demonstrated by users of urbandictionary.com, as they struggle to define a "prick": "An all around fucktard, dickweed, assrat bastard.") These differences aren't just a matter of intensity. We can presumably all agree that Simon Cowell is a bit of a tosser. But his success makes it hard to dismiss him as a fuckwit, while it's not clear he's guilty of the malice that would condemn him as a shit.
The American philosopher Aaron James makes an important contribution to this discussion in his new book Assholes: A Theory. (Let's stick with his spelling: an "arsehole", I think, is slightly more of a fool, and less of a villain, than an asshole.) Assholes, as James defines the term, present a conundrum: they enrage us out of all proportion to the damage they do. The asshole shouting into his phone on the bus, eating a smelly burger on the train or giving a running commentary at the cinema hardly ruins our lives. Yet there's something about them "bad enough to drive an otherwise coolheaded person into a fit of rage". That something, James concludes, is their failure to recognise the equal moral status of others. The asshole "allows himself to enjoy special advantage… out of an entrenched sense of entitlement", immunised against complaints. Obliviousness is a crucial ingredient here. We're outraged not by the phone-shouter's noise, but his refusal to grant that our interests count.
James offers a taxonomy of assholes, including the boorish asshole (Noel Gallagher), the reckless asshole (Dick Cheney) and the smug asshole (Richard Dawkins – who may be right about atheism, but who comes across as an asshole, James argues, because he seems to consider himself specially entitled to ignore the toughest philosophical arguments against his position). By no means all obnoxious behaviour is assholish: the queue-jumper who has no grasp of doing wrong may be a psychopath, while the queue-jumper who believes she has a special one-off justification for queue-jumping may just be selfish. Only the asshole queue-jumper thinks it's right that the rules against queue-jumping shouldn't apply to him.
The challenge, in dealing with assholes, is that it's hard to resist the temptation to fight on their terms: when you explode in rage at an asshole, James argues, you're really demanding that he recognise your moral status. But that defines you as a supplicant, and an inferior, seeking his approval, thus reinforcing the asshole's worldview – so don't be shocked if it doesn't work. A better, albeit harder, plan is to remind yourself that you're outraged less by the asshole's actions than by his inner motivations. A nasty smell on a train – or a few minutes' longer waiting in line – is a mild irritation, against which you may be justified in taking proportionate action. But the asshole's moral attitudes, in a deep sense, are none of your business. Getting too psychologically enmeshed in them just makes you a wazzock.
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That would be really interesting. Recently, I try to explain why people keep walking slowly on a crowded pavement, totally ignoring others, while they try to walk away from them as quickly as possible in order to reach their destination. The good thing is that most of them instantly make room for you when you say "the magic words": "Excuse me" and "Sorry". Still, I cannot explain why so many persons don't have the common sense that the sidewalk doesn't belong to them. It exists so as to walk safely and easily.
That's one of life's eternal questions, my friend.
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
Exactly how big did you think my butt was?
I figured just the headline, but I wanted to be sure
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
I guess people can treat an asshole like this :?
That was a job well done by that flight crew and the passengers that helped.
Totally with this part.
And agreed with how the asshole on the plane was handled.
Category 1 Asshole: 'The Simple Asshole'
Description: Essentially stupid, these assholes would be the most common asshole. Their behaviour manifests itself in such a way that would reflect very little awareness for those around them. For example, they might be found texting at a green light (unaware that the light has turned from red)... or eating stinky food in a closed environment (example provided in original post). As irritating as these assholes can be... their impact is only temporary and insignificant.
Approach: This type of asshole might best be ignored.
Category 2 Asshole 'The Rude Asshole'
Description: These assholes are aware of the impact of their behaviour on other people, however they could care less as long as the behaviour is one that serves them some form of satisfaction. In short, they exhibit many of the same behaviours as the Category 1 Asshole, but understand they are doing it. For example, a Category 2 Asshole would purchase things at a checkout while conversing with someone on a cell phone- ignoring manners normally expected with the human interaction... or deliberately moving ahead of people who have been waiting in a line.
Approach: This type of asshole might best be avoided. Frustrations resulting from dealing with such an asshole are not worth acting out on. To avoid tension or anger building within oneself... it is encouraged to avoid the offender.
Category 3 Asshole 'The Pompous Asshole'
Description: These assholes possess some or all the qualities present in Category 2 assholes, however there are definite signs of intelligence in the Category 3 Asshole. Capable of intelligent thought, they tend to think that others are not on the same level as them. If the Category 3 Asshole has money- in particular the type of money fed to them by the silver spoon- they may be particularly offensive. They think others are best put to use for servicing them. They generally are quick to dismiss other opinions regardless of merit- in particular the ones in opposition to their belief system. The Category 3 Asshole may reflect a serious level of disdain for others of a different gender or race. For example, the Category 3 Asshole might be a racist or sexist. They are generally the loud and obnoxious ones yelling over others at parties or other social events.
Approach: Abstain from the presence of such an extreme asshole. These assholes generally need to be punched out and often, many people that fall outside the asshole taxonomy will assume this task: only to face legal implications. The Category 3 Asshole is incapable of understanding the fact that they deserved to be punched out and will use the law for their personal gain.
I too gave this some more thought; perhaps add "momentary asshole" - those who typically aren't, but due to unusual or stressful (or whatever) circumstances, lash out at the time. Fuck knows I'm one of them! ...though have been finding more constructive outlets.
Ignore them.
Why would I ever let an asshole ruin my good mood? Why would anyone?
Of course this is the obvious solution to the problem, but there kind of like mosquitoes: you can ignore them to a point... then they get really irritating.
I dealt with my asshole sister last week for four days. I refused to let her assholeness get me down. And when I just about couldn't contain myself any longer, I left town.
Out of curiosity... what category asshole is your sister?
She's totally a category 3.
Geezuz.
Well... good for you for managing her the way you did. Could have been much worse!
I encounter the 'Rude Asshole' type quite frequently here in China. I.e, people who smoke cigarettes in lifts (elevators). I encountered one just the other day. As the lift door opened he was standing inside puffing on a cigarette. I just stared at him and shook my head and waited for the doors to close again. One time about a year ago I got into a lift here and some asshole was smoking on a cigarette inside. I was in a bad mood that day. I snatched the fag out of his hands and chucked it outside the doors. I then looked at him to see if he had a problem with what I'd done, and he did nothing. This asshole must have known he was being an asshole. A knowing asshole will seldom try and defend his asshole behaviour, especially in the presence of a 6ft, 4" Byrnzie in a bad mood.
I encountered the 'Pompous Asshole' type the other week in a bar. This prize asshole walked into the bar with his phone pressed against his ear pretending to be important. I could see straight away it was just an act and that there was actually nobody on the other end of the phone. He then sat down and before long started hollering at the bar staff to change the channel on the t.v - we were watching the football game. After a while I called over to him "Oy Dickhead! Shut your fucking mouth! We're watching the football." Mingbai la ma?" ("Do you understand?"). He then giggled sheepishly like many a Chinese asshole is apt to do, nodded, and piped down. I found it hard to take my eyes off him though. He was such a huge asshole it beggared belief. One of these pompous ignorant assholes who think that because they've got money they can walk into a bar and start telling people what to do. And on top of that he was so ugly if he'd looked out the window he'd have been arrested for mooning.
nah, just shoot em.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
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St. Paul 2014
the train is a fucking comedy show tonight! Love it!
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Adding them to your foe list
Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
Really really sound advice that... sad to say... many (including myself) do not adhere to.
Byrnzie... I'm going to add the 'I have a lot of money so I'm better than you' quality that some category 3 assholes possess. This is a characteristic I neglected to mention when I detailed the 'pompous asshole' and it is definitely a distinguishing quality that separates this type of asshole from the other two, less offensive categories.
Thank Gawd you hadn't been drinking too much. I can tell you hadn't because if the guy was a full-blown level 3 and also ugly as sin... well... let's just say even a gentleman such as yourself might have had a hard time not delivering several right hands to the melon in light of his general obscenity. Add copious amounts of liquor to your side of the equation and things may have gotten very troublesome for yourself.
I mean... how would you be able to respond to DS or Fear typing with only your left hand?
True. It was early in the evening.
This thread is a light one. Let's leave it at that.
We all have our moments and turns being the asshole. We can laugh at ourselves can't we?
I've dated so many, it make nice guys strange.
Assholes Keep up the Good work! (not really)
Nice Dudes.. She may come around....
What about Beaches (BEET-CHEZZZ)?
Theories ??
I've found myself in a bar a few times. (I still don't know why.) A guy wants to buy me a drink, " I don't drink", then he wants to get me water, "I'm not thirsty." Then the Ass WHOLE storms off.. only to send a new friend in his place. Sorry Jackass, I'm on a date? but he's an ass too.
Moral of this SILLY STORY? Don't go To BARS single :nono: