Florida Again?

rearviewross

JonnyPistachio wrote:

(Love Boat Captain, found him!)
Florida Man Crashes Car, Gets Naked, Dances In Street

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/ ... gets_n.php

An Orange County man crashed his car into a wall Wednesday morning.

When Fire Rescue arrived at the scene and closed off the road at Via Hacienda Circle near Honour Road, they found the driver of the vehicle, Felix Lockett, had already gotten out of his car.

He was dancing in the street.

Completely naked.

Apparently Lockett, 34, was so happy about crashing into a wall, he felt the need to strip down and get down in front of every body.

And by "happy," we mean he was allegedly tripping some serious balls.

Lockett had apparently gotten high by ingesting "Love Boat," which is basically pot dipped in formaldehyde.

Lockett had so much of it, according to cops, that several of the law enforcement officials who had arrived at the scene of the accident were sickened by chemical exposure.

One FHP trooper opened Lockett's car and immediately began to have difficulty breathing. A couple of other Orange County officers experienced the same symptoms, including watery eyes.

A hazardous materials team had to be called onto the scene. They found a bottle of formaldehyde in Lockett's car, along with some marijuana.

The cops exposed to the chemicals made a full recovery.

Lockett will now likely face a bevy of charges, which we imagine will be from crashing his car into a wall, to having "Love Boat' in his possession to, of course, being stark raving naked in the middle of the street.

Hey, we all have our ways to unwind.

Black Diamond

JonnyPistachio wrote:

(Love Boat Captain, found him!)
Florida Man Crashes Car, Gets Naked, Dances In Street

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/ ... gets_n.php

An Orange County man crashed his car into a wall Wednesday morning.

When Fire Rescue arrived at the scene and closed off the road at Via Hacienda Circle near Honour Road, they found the driver of the vehicle, Felix Lockett, had already gotten out of his car.

He was dancing in the street.

Completely naked.

Apparently Lockett, 34, was so happy about crashing into a wall, he felt the need to strip down and get down in front of every body.

And by "happy," we mean he was allegedly tripping some serious balls.

Lockett had apparently gotten high by ingesting "Love Boat," which is basically pot dipped in formaldehyde.

Lockett had so much of it, according to cops, that several of the law enforcement officials who had arrived at the scene of the accident were sickened by chemical exposure.

One FHP trooper opened Lockett's car and immediately began to have difficulty breathing. A couple of other Orange County officers experienced the same symptoms, including watery eyes.

A hazardous materials team had to be called onto the scene. They found a bottle of formaldehyde in Lockett's car, along with some marijuana.

The cops exposed to the chemicals made a full recovery.

Lockett will now likely face a bevy of charges, which we imagine will be from crashing his car into a wall, to having "Love Boat' in his possession to, of course, being stark raving naked in the middle of the street.

:fp:

dankind

JonnyPistachio wrote:

(Love Boat Captain, found him!)
Florida Man Crashes Car, Gets Naked, Dances In Street

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/ ... gets_n.php

An Orange County man crashed his car into a wall Wednesday morning.

When Fire Rescue arrived at the scene and closed off the road at Via Hacienda Circle near Honour Road, they found the driver of the vehicle, Felix Lockett, had already gotten out of his car.

He was dancing in the street.

Completely naked.

Apparently Lockett, 34, was so happy about crashing into a wall, he felt the need to strip down and get down in front of every body.

And by "happy," we mean he was allegedly tripping some serious balls.

Lockett had apparently gotten high by ingesting "Love Boat," which is basically pot dipped in formaldehyde.

Lockett had so much of it, according to cops, that several of the law enforcement officials who had arrived at the scene of the accident were sickened by chemical exposure.

One FHP trooper opened Lockett's car and immediately began to have difficulty breathing. A couple of other Orange County officers experienced the same symptoms, including watery eyes.

A hazardous materials team had to be called onto the scene. They found a bottle of formaldehyde in Lockett's car, along with some marijuana.

The cops exposed to the chemicals made a full recovery.

Lockett will now likely face a bevy of charges, which we imagine will be from crashing his car into a wall, to having "Love Boat' in his possession to, of course, being stark raving naked in the middle of the street.

guacamolejoe

Is this just another day,...... this god forgotten place

Take the reigns & steer us towards the ......wall

Stupid human beings :wtf:

JonnyPistachio

guacamolejoe wrote:

Is this just another day,...... this god forgotten place

Take the reigns & steer us towards the ......wall

Stupid human beings :wtf:

Waht's odd about this is, I think some drivers here in Florida cant see 10 feet in front of them. Twice, in the last few days, have I been driving on a three lane road where one lane is temporarily merged off for roadwork, and I saw two cars nearly run right into the cones and construction equipment. If driving has any reflection of intelligence, Florida has fucking failed. Miserably. :fp:

norm

the dancing naked is a common side effect of 'love boat'...it's called 'the gopher'

if you dip you pot in heroin it's called the 'doc'

norm

Lloyd had taped the cartridge to the end of a BB gun to shoot a squirrel
...
Lloyd fired the BB gun, causing the BB to strike the cartridge's primer. The cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg.
...
Lloyd told police he was trying to shoot a squirrel with a Pumpmaster 760 BB gun.

His girlfriend told police that Lloyd told her he was trying to shoot a squirrel for dinner

http://www.gainesville.com/article/2013 ... 52Btwitter

rollings

JonnyPistachio wrote:

Waht's odd about this is, I think some drivers here in Florida cant see 10 feet in front of them. Twice, in the last few days, have I been driving on a three lane road where one lane is temporarily merged off for roadwork, and I saw two cars nearly run right into the cones and construction equipment. If driving has any reflection of intelligence, Florida has fucking failed. Miserably. :fp:

The other day some old guy was straddling two lanes going up I-95. This would be hysterical if it were.

rollings

norm wrote:

Lloyd had taped the cartridge to the end of a BB gun to shoot a squirrel
...
Lloyd fired the BB gun, causing the BB to strike the cartridge's primer. The cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg.
...
Lloyd told police he was trying to shoot a squirrel with a Pumpmaster 760 BB gun.

His girlfriend told police that Lloyd told her he was trying to shoot a squirrel for dinner

http://www.gainesville.com/article/2013 ... 52Btwitter

Um, is that snow in this picture? Florida FAIL

norm

rollings wrote:

Um, is that snow in this picture? Florida FAIL

exactly! :P

JonnyPistachio

:fp:

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/ ... with_b.php

Three self-proclaimed Florida panhandle "rednecks" done caught themselves a 277-pound bull shark using nothing but a a baseball bat, their bare hands, and common sense.

The perfecly red-necked named Cody Harlan, Jonathan Cook and Robert Trutt went fishing for pompano off Okaloosa Island Thursday morning when they spotted something in the water they say looked like driftwood.

And, as any yokel does, they decided to steer their boat over to it, because driftwood is awesome. However, what was thought of as driftwood, was actually a bull shark.

The three thought it was a dolphin, but as they would soon discover, it was a shark that had gone belly up.

The three assumed the shark was dead, so they decided to leave it in the water and let the waves take it away and nature run its course.

And by "decided to leave it in the water and let the waves take it away and nature run its course," we mean they jumped into the water to try and take the shark's teeth.

With his redneck training finely tuned, one of the men, Harlan, waded into the chest-deep water and grabbed the animal by the tail. He then began pulling it towards the shore, as any good redneck would.

"I wanted it for its teeth," Harlan told dwfdailynews.

The two others then helped drag the shark to shore.

Once they got the animal onto the beach, it started to move.

"It started opening its mouth like it was gulping for air and moving its tail," one of the men said.

IT WUZ LAHK IT WANTED TAH LIVE ER SOMETHIN'!

So, the men did the logical thing and helped the shark back into the water.

And by "helped the shark back into the water," we mean they began to beat the shit out of it with a baseball bat like in the final scene of Casino.

The men did call the he Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission people to ask if it was cool for them to catch a bull shark. Once they confirmed that the size of the shark was cool for fishing, they resumed beating it with a bat.

The men claimed that the shark had a large piece of fish lodged in its mouth, and that it was choking.

WE JUST THAWT WE SHUD DO THA HUMANATARIANIAN THANG AND PUT THE SHARK OUT OF ITS MIZERY BAH BEATIN' IT WITH A BASEBALL BAT 'N ALL.

It took the men 90 minutes to drag the dead shark to their truck. Once there, in true redneck fashion, they posed for pictures with it on the back of the flatbed because, YEEEEHAWWWWWWW WAIT'LL TIL GOOBER HEARS WE NABBED US A SHARK NYUCK NYUCK NYUCK!!

norm

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. -- Sheriff deputies say a burglary suspect admitted to having a really good time while in a couple's home.

Authorities arrested Jason Vickery, 23, on burglary and larceny charges. Deputies say he broke into a home on Atlantic View in St. Augustine.

Vickery told police he got into the home through an unlocked door. He told investigators he went upstairs to masturbate in the bathroom when he found a remote control helicopter. Vickery said he found some batteries and started playing with the helicopter. He also ate a salad that he brought with him, according to detectives.

Vickery told deputies he then went back to the bathroom to masturbate when he heard voices outside. He ran outside where a deputy, with his gun drawn, was waiting for him.

Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco
http://www.actionnewsjax.com/content/to ... zjFbQ.cspx

too much wtf for one story :wtf: :crazy:

Black Diamond

Help... They won't let me leave.

rearviewross

I think we need to change the title of this thread to Florida.

g under p

rearviewross wrote:

I think we need to change the title of this thread to Florida.

Leave FLORIDA alone, it's the pecker of America.

Peace

JonnyPistachio

norm wrote:

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. -- Sheriff deputies say a burglary suspect admitted to having a really good time while in a couple's home.

Authorities arrested Jason Vickery, 23, on burglary and larceny charges. Deputies say he broke into a home on Atlantic View in St. Augustine.

Vickery told police he got into the home through an unlocked door. He told investigators he went upstairs to masturbate in the bathroom when he found a remote control helicopter. Vickery said he found some batteries and started playing with the helicopter. He also ate a salad that he brought with him, according to detectives.

Vickery told deputies he then went back to the bathroom to masturbate when he heard voices outside. He ran outside where a deputy, with his gun drawn, was waiting for him.

Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco
http://www.actionnewsjax.com/content/to ... zjFbQ.cspx

too much wtf for one story :wtf: :crazy:

rearviewross

JonnyPistachio wrote:

norm wrote:

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. -- Sheriff deputies say a burglary suspect admitted to having a really good time while in a couple's home.

Authorities arrested Jason Vickery, 23, on burglary and larceny charges. Deputies say he broke into a home on Atlantic View in St. Augustine.

Vickery told police he got into the home through an unlocked door. He told investigators he went upstairs to masturbate in the bathroom when he found a remote control helicopter. Vickery said he found some batteries and started playing with the helicopter. He also ate a salad that he brought with him, according to detectives.

Vickery told deputies he then went back to the bathroom to masturbate when he heard voices outside. He ran outside where a deputy, with his gun drawn, was waiting for him.

Police confiscated a bag full of marijuana, other drug paraphernalia, a wig, a towel and a pouch of chewing tobacco
http://www.actionnewsjax.com/content/to ... zjFbQ.cspx

too much wtf for one story :wtf: :crazy:

Poor guy, he didn't even get to masturbate in their bathroom. He brought a towel and everything. Well just goes to show you procrastination is the thief of time. He made two glaring mistakes. First you always eat your prepared salad after you masturbate in a strangers bathroom. Second don't get distracted by cool toys, stay focused on the task "at hand".

JonnyPistachio

Most of the time, i'm posting things in here because they are kinda funny.
This one pissed me off, I hope they get punished severely:

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/ ... nto_ma.php

Florida Men Cannonball Onto Manatees, Post It On YouTube

A couple of Cocoa Beach yokels made the conscious decision to lure a mother manatee and her calf close to the water's edge, and then cannonballed into them, because DERPY DERPY DERP IT'S HIGH LARIOUS.
Then they posted the video of them slamming into the animals on the YouTube.

Because this kind of stupid must be shared with all the internets!

But, because the internet reaches everyone, the Florida Fish and Wildlife's Internet crimes unit was able to track the video to its source after viewing it on Monday.

According to the FWC, two men have been ID'd, and investigators are considering filing charges against them, with a third also being questioned with his involvement in the stupid.

The video shows the men luring the two manatees over in a canal behind some homes, as one of them waits for the right moment to leap into the animals.

At first, just the mother is visible, swimming just below the surface, which gets the men's pants all splodey with delight and anticipation.

"It's a huge one," the one with the camera says.

But then the second manatee appears, and it's clear that it's a baby.

"Oh there's another one," the man points out, making them even more giddy, like a bunch of mindless ogres who have come across the One True Ring.

"I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it," the other man says, before plowing into mother and calf and cackling with delight.

Both the FWC and U.S. Fish and Wildlife are reviewing the video before deciding on whether to file charges, but it's clear that the men intended to harm the animals by treating them like wrestling dummies.

Manatees are protected under the Endangered Species Act, which is a second-degree misdemeanor with possible penalties being a fine of up to $500 or six months in jail.

g under p

JonnyPistachio wrote:

Most of the time, i'm posting things in here because they are kinda funny.
This one pissed me off, I hope they get punished severely:

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/ ... nto_ma.php

Florida Men Cannonball Onto Manatees, Post It On YouTube

A couple of Cocoa Beach yokels made the conscious decision to lure a mother manatee and her calf close to the water's edge, and then cannonballed into them, because DERPY DERPY DERP IT'S HIGH LARIOUS.
Then they posted the video of them slamming into the animals on the YouTube.

Because this kind of stupid must be shared with all the internets!

But, because the internet reaches everyone, the Florida Fish and Wildlife's Internet crimes unit was able to track the video to its source after viewing it on Monday.

According to the FWC, two men have been ID'd, and investigators are considering filing charges against them, with a third also being questioned with his involvement in the stupid.

The video shows the men luring the two manatees over in a canal behind some homes, as one of them waits for the right moment to leap into the animals.

At first, just the mother is visible, swimming just below the surface, which gets the men's pants all splodey with delight and anticipation.

"It's a huge one," the one with the camera says.

But then the second manatee appears, and it's clear that it's a baby.

"Oh there's another one," the man points out, making them even more giddy, like a bunch of mindless ogres who have come across the One True Ring.

"I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it," the other man says, before plowing into mother and calf and cackling with delight.

Both the FWC and U.S. Fish and Wildlife are reviewing the video before deciding on whether to file charges, but it's clear that the men intended to harm the animals by treating them like wrestling dummies.

Manatees are protected under the Endangered Species Act, which is a second-degree misdemeanor with possible penalties being a fine of up to $500 or six months in jail.

You would have to be a sick individual to do this to some innocent animals. Unbelievable, I vacationed over on Marco Island and we went fishing one day. We came across some manatees feeding, we stopped fishing watched them for awhile then told our captain lets go somewhere else. He agreed, they are such beautiful peaceful animals.

Peace

dankind

g under p wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

Most of the time, i'm posting things in here because they are kinda funny.
This one pissed me off, I hope they get punished severely:

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/ ... nto_ma.php

Florida Men Cannonball Onto Manatees, Post It On YouTube

A couple of Cocoa Beach yokels made the conscious decision to lure a mother manatee and her calf close to the water's edge, and then cannonballed into them, because DERPY DERPY DERP IT'S HIGH LARIOUS.
Then they posted the video of them slamming into the animals on the YouTube.

Because this kind of stupid must be shared with all the internets!

But, because the internet reaches everyone, the Florida Fish and Wildlife's Internet crimes unit was able to track the video to its source after viewing it on Monday.

According to the FWC, two men have been ID'd, and investigators are considering filing charges against them, with a third also being questioned with his involvement in the stupid.

The video shows the men luring the two manatees over in a canal behind some homes, as one of them waits for the right moment to leap into the animals.

At first, just the mother is visible, swimming just below the surface, which gets the men's pants all splodey with delight and anticipation.

"It's a huge one," the one with the camera says.

But then the second manatee appears, and it's clear that it's a baby.

"Oh there's another one," the man points out, making them even more giddy, like a bunch of mindless ogres who have come across the One True Ring.

"I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it," the other man says, before plowing into mother and calf and cackling with delight.

Both the FWC and U.S. Fish and Wildlife are reviewing the video before deciding on whether to file charges, but it's clear that the men intended to harm the animals by treating them like wrestling dummies.

Manatees are protected under the Endangered Species Act, which is a second-degree misdemeanor with possible penalties being a fine of up to $500 or six months in jail.

You would have to be a sick individual to do this to some innocent animals. Unbelievable, I vacationed over on Marco Island and we fishing one day. We came across some manatees feeding, we stopped fishing watched them for awhile then told our captain lets go somewhere else. He agreed, they are such beautiful peaceful animals.

Peace

Fucking dicktards!