and all this bj talk has me thinking i am one lucky son of a bitch i guess. normally i fight women off of my thingamajig. again, normally they need to give me this type of treatment. i do not understand women who do not desire to perform oral. if my bathroom is filthy it is oral time. if i haven't done my dishes in 13 weeks it is oral time. i can't lose. if i have not folded laundry in weeks and have dirty and clean clothes piles, oral.
the ladies i know need to have this and they are correct in knowing their bodys' needs. they know what they need so they go after it. it is all very basic, very easy stuff to understand.
happy valentines day, everyone. cheers.
Because some chicks just don't like sex. Plain and simple. Poor bitches.
and all this bj talk has me thinking i am one lucky son of a bitch i guess. normally i fight women off of my thingamajig. again, normally they need to give me this type of treatment. i do not understand women who do not desire to perform oral. if my bathroom is filthy it is oral time. if i haven't done my dishes in 13 weeks it is oral time. i can't lose. if i have not folded laundry in weeks and have dirty and clean clothes piles, oral.
the ladies i know need to have this and they are correct in knowing their bodys' needs. they know what they need so they go after it. it is all very basic, very easy stuff to understand.
happy valentines day, everyone. cheers.
Because some chicks just don't like sex. Plain and simple. Poor bitches.
maybe the guys are being selfish...hence the women not liking it...poor girl.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
maybe the guys are being selfish...hence the women not liking it...poor girl.
Yeah maybe....but I know of a lot of chicks in their 30s who just DO NOT want it or like it....could easily have it once a month or less....Fuck that. I mean, these chicks don't even masturbate ffs. Poor bitches.
Been married for almost ten years and have created two beautiful children. I have always been the one to shower my wife with gifts in creative way, cook many meals etc..
She has never ever been the type to do that for me and i never used to care. Until now...
Now I am at the point to where I am not in love anymore. I love her dearly but I dont care to do the romantic things anymore. I dont feel the passion. I dont feel the connection.
Sad....
I read how people evolve for better or worse every 7-10 years. I have changed for the better in 10 years. I am way way way better person now then before, yet she has not. Not with interests, hobbies, needs, desires nothing. I am different now and its a scary thing.
Oh...Happy Valentines day everyone :roll:
How are you going to sort this shit out if you don't talk to her about it? Maybe she doesn't like this new person you have become....same way as this new person doesn't like the same person she still is? But how would you know what she feels if you don't ask her? Maybe you can both change a little in the same direction so you can connect again?
I've been with my bf for 13.5 years....and we had a really shit 18 months or so back a few years ago....bitching, moaning, not happy, he wasn't working, I was working too much, we were both drinking WAY too much....life was miserable for that period....we just didn't connect and were on different pages. But that's normal. Do you really think every year is going to be roses and chocolates? Fuck no. But when you come out the other side of the shit stages, you learn from them and appreciate the good stages. I'm sure we'll have more shit years as the decades go on....it's to be expected.
I don't know where society got this picture of every single year of say a 50 year relationship being perfect where both parties are 100% connected and happy....because it's not....and you have to figure out how you can make it work....by both parties making changes....and if you can't make it work, I guess you both have to move on. But you've got to give it a go....and refusing to talk to her about it is just prolonging and drawing out this shit period.
and all this bj talk has me thinking i am one lucky son of a bitch i guess. normally i fight women off of my thingamajig. again, normally they need to give me this type of treatment. i do not understand women who do not desire to perform oral. if my bathroom is filthy it is oral time. if i haven't done my dishes in 13 weeks it is oral time. i can't lose. if i have not folded laundry in weeks and have dirty and clean clothes piles, oral.
the ladies i know need to have this and they are correct in knowing their bodys' needs. they know what they need so they go after it. it is all very basic, very easy stuff to understand.
happy valentines day, everyone. cheers.
Because some chicks just don't like sex. Plain and simple. Poor bitches.
Also, once you connect again, you'll get pleasure in doing those little 'romantic' things that you no longer give a shit about doing at the moment. I used to do heaps of fun stuff for my bf like secretly buy him vintage Star Wars figures on ebay, find him old 80s Dune movie posters that he had when he was a kid etc. But I didn't care about doing those little nice things for him during those crappy 18 months. But now that's all changed and I do all those little things again that show him that I love him because I get pleasure from knowing something I did made him happy or feel good.
I think what you're going through is completely normal....you just need to figure out how you get over this hump. For us, we both went on separate holidays....had to find ourselves again after 10+ years of being "us"....and it worked....with a fair bit of work from "both of us" though once the holidays were over.
Actually I really have tried to explain the issues we are having. I have no problems talking about my feelings. I am badass when I need to be as a man. I am secure with my manhood lol.
She takes it as an insult instead of reflecting on what my issues are with her. We fight and I bring up all the things I do the most partners don't and how I want more affection. Not even talking about sex. Just affection. I know this sounds weird coming from a guy but for some reason its all coming out today haha. Her family are not the type to show much affection, and i was always okay with that but as time goes on it changes. Not trying to be a creep but I can it from a few girls right this second if I so desired. But I am trying to be a better person then that.....its wearing thin though.
She is very insecure with her body and after ten years STILL covers up while changing. Any women here understand that? I tell her daily how beautiful she is but its her own inner problem. She is very jealous also because I have many girl "friends". Just friends.
Life is weird i guess. You never know where or what type of situation you will end up in as an adult.
I even asked her to go to a marriage counselor, I ended up going once alone.
Another big problem is I had many girlfriends before marriage. Long term for a few. HER LONGEST RELATIONSHIP BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED WAS SIX MONTHS!!! And she was raised very spoiled. Always had everyone do things for her. So now she expects it from me. That makes her expect what I do, rather then appreciate it. That fuels my anger. As time goes by it wears on you....
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
maybe the guys are being selfish...hence the women not liking it...poor girl.
Yeah maybe....but I know of a lot of chicks in their 30s who just DO NOT want it or like it....could easily have it once a month or less....Fuck that. I mean, these chicks don't even masturbate ffs. Poor bitches.
Right now we are at once every almost two months. I workout everyday, so for me that is fucking torture.
I mean I love internet porn but come on! If I was single I would be dating three girls right now!
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
Actually I really have tried to explain the issues we are having. I have no problems talking about my feelings. I am badass when I need to be as a man. I am secure with my manhood lol.
She takes it as an insult instead of reflecting on what my issues are with her. We fight and I bring up all the things I do the most partners don't and how I want more affection. Not even talking about sex. Just affection. I know this sounds weird coming from a guy but for some reason its all coming out today haha. Her family are not the type to show much affection, and i was always okay with that but as time goes on it changes. Not trying to be a creep but I can it from a few girls right this second if I so desired. But I am trying to be a better person then that.....its wearing thin though.
She is very insecure with her body and after ten years STILL covers up while changing. Any women here understand that? I tell her daily how beautiful she is but its her own inner problem. She is very jealous also because I have many girl "friends". Just friends.
Life is weird i guess. You never know where or what type of situation you will end up in as an adult.
I even asked her to go to a marriage counselor, I ended up going once alone.
Another big problem is I had many girlfriends before marriage. Long term for a few. HER LONGEST RELATIONSHIP BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED WAS SIX MONTHS!!! And she was raised very spoiled. Always had everyone do things for her. So now she expects it from me. That makes her expect what I do, rather then appreciate it. That fuels my anger. As time goes by it wears on you....
No idea bro, that is tough stuff. If she wont talk about it I would maybe try to find a fulcrum to force the issue. If she can understand the reality of your feelings and what shutting you out means to your relationship maybe she will open up. Sounds like you are trying - also sounds like she has some long term issues. Sorry man, I hope you can work through this.
If not? Hey, you have kids and your wife sounds like she is healthy. Things could be a LOT worse. I am sure it sucks to not feel the love though, sorry for the situation.
Actually I really have tried to explain the issues we are having. I have no problems talking about my feelings. I am badass when I need to be as a man. I am secure with my manhood lol.
She takes it as an insult instead of reflecting on what my issues are with her. We fight and I bring up all the things I do the most partners don't and how I want more affection. Not even talking about sex. Just affection. I know this sounds weird coming from a guy but for some reason its all coming out today haha. Her family are not the type to show much affection, and i was always okay with that but as time goes on it changes. Not trying to be a creep but I can it from a few girls right this second if I so desired. But I am trying to be a better person then that.....its wearing thin though.
She is very insecure with her body and after ten years STILL covers up while changing. Any women here understand that? I tell her daily how beautiful she is but its her own inner problem. She is very jealous also because I have many girl "friends". Just friends.
Life is weird i guess. You never know where or what type of situation you will end up in as an adult.
I even asked her to go to a marriage counselor, I ended up going once alone.
Another big problem is I had many girlfriends before marriage. Long term for a few. HER LONGEST RELATIONSHIP BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED WAS SIX MONTHS!!! And she was raised very spoiled. Always had everyone do things for her. So now she expects it from me. That makes her expect what I do, rather then appreciate it. That fuels my anger. As time goes by it wears on you....
I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Being in a long term relationship is not easy and marriage certainly has it challenges....I know mine has but it's always been worth the effort and work.
Sometimes a little time and a different perspective helps.....( a good road trip too )
I have stumbbled across articles from this site several times and found them interesting....
“This is a ah another request fulfillment. If none of the other of you like it at least one guy does. Actually it’s a girl, she’s right back there.”
SMILE Eddie Vedder Cleveland 06.....
Been married for almost ten years and have created two beautiful children. I have always been the one to shower my wife with gifts in creative way, cook many meals etc..
She has never ever been the type to do that for me and i never used to care. Until now...
Now I am at the point to where I am not in love anymore. I love her dearly but I dont care to do the romantic things anymore. I dont feel the passion. I dont feel the connection.
Sad....
I read how people evolve for better or worse every 7-10 years. I have changed for the better in 10 years. I am way way way better person now then before, yet she has not. Not with interests, hobbies, needs, desires nothing. I am different now and its a scary thing.
Oh...Happy Valentines day everyone :roll:
I haven't read the whole thread, but... Maybe she would like to grow and improve too, but doesn't feel like the marriage allows her to do that. Maybe she feels stuck in the rut of everyday life. If that's the case, I'd definitely try to get out of the rut before giving up on the marriage.
Wait a minute...ive been getting ripped off for years...is this in a marriage rule book or something? :shock:
Yep. The full entry states "BJs will be given on birthdays, anniversaries, valentine's day and after a good & thorough bathroom cleaning"
by my count, my wife owing big time. the only ones i get are the fluff before sex. I say "come on, a bit more?". She says "well isn't that enough? you're ready, aren't you?".
she thinks that's only the appetizer, when sometimes it would be nice if it was the main course.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
marriage is work. it's not romance. my wife doesn't have a creative bone in her body. for birthdays and christmases I go shopping and get nothing on her list. And she loves everything I get her. Because I FEEL what she'd like. She's not wired that way. She gets me what's on my list. Or what she thinks I need. Doesn't stray one bit. Doesn't put a whole lot of thought into it. But that's her personality. She's like an accountant, I'm like an artist. Nothing wrong with either of them.
you seem to be putting yourself above her a bit "I've changed for the better, she hasn't". that's a tad egotistical, isn't it? or maybe judgmental? when you fall in love with someone, it's usually for those core traits that don't change (humour, emotional intelligence), not the things that do change over time (interest in tennis as opposed to moster truck rallies).
if she hasn't changed, wouldn't that mean she's the same person you fell in love with in the first place?
the only way to resolve this, as everyone else has said, is to talk to her, saying you feel disconnected. I do all the fucking housework too, but that's not a deal breaker. She's not your co worker who is slacking off at your expense. She's your wife. if the housework thing is big, then you are actually doing pretty well. just talk to her about it, and I'm sure it will help. I have had to have a discussion or two about my wife doing more around the house, and it helps. if there are bigger issues at play not mentioned, then counselling is a great idea. actually, counselling should be considered in healthy marriages. treat a relationship like you treat your vehicle. do you get an oil change only when the oil is gone, or do you change it when it's a bit old? same thing with a relationship. don't just fix it when it's broken, keep it running healthy.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I suggest a hit of Tab25 while taking a long walk (usually 8-10 hrs) in a big city to re-evaluate your life. My bet is when your all done you will want to give your wife a big hug/kiss and things will be different from that point on.
by my count, my wife owing big time. the only ones i get are the fluff before sex. I say "come on, a bit more?". She says "well isn't that enough? you're ready, aren't you?".
she thinks that's only the appetizer, when sometimes it would be nice if it was the main course.
:?
I feel the hurt she could feel if she read this ...
by my count, my wife owing big time. the only ones i get are the fluff before sex. I say "come on, a bit more?". She says "well isn't that enough? you're ready, aren't you?".
she thinks that's only the appetizer, when sometimes it would be nice if it was the main course.
:?
I feel the hurt she could feel if she read this ...
can you?
This emotional betrayal ...
you don't know my wife, so you have no fucking clue how she'd react. she and I have the same sense of humour. she'd laugh at this.
you just think you fucking know everything, don't you?
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
It sounds like she's doing less in the relationship than you are.
so much for two sides to every story.
I think it's interesting that you left my first sentence out of the quote. I suggested he talk to her! :P
nothing interesting about it. I know you said that. but you still made a pretty wild assumption based on one person's side of things. and a very condensed version of what's going on, I'm sure.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
This may seem very simplistic, but at the end of the day if one person doesn't really want to be in the relationship then maybe it's just past its use by date, if your wife knew you felt all this then she mightn't want to be in it either deep down. Nobody really wants to be with someone that doesn't want them even if they convince themselves otherwise, maybe she deserves to find someone who does feel that sort of passion for her.
I don't mean to offend anyone, a lot of what I say should be taken with a grain of salt... that said for most of you I'm a stranger on a computer on the other side of the world, don't give me that sort of power!
by my count, my wife owing big time. the only ones i get are the fluff before sex. I say "come on, a bit more?". She says "well isn't that enough? you're ready, aren't you?".
she thinks that's only the appetizer, when sometimes it would be nice if it was the main course.
:?
I feel the hurt she could feel if she read this ...
can you?
This emotional betrayal ...
you don't know my wife, so you have no fucking clue how she'd react. she and I have the same sense of humour. she'd laugh at this.
you just think you fucking know everything, don't you?
laugh :? I did mention could a possibility of
I think about feelings a lot ... which is the key to a lasting relationship
putting your mates feelings first ... is all
I also feel this is not the place for bedroom talk
unless you are building up not tearing down making someone you love proud of the relationship and having them know you are proud too
I guess to simplify ... a positive loving message
my post here was attempting to give the op that perspective
Comments
At my firm, we used to order lunch from a place called BJs. The jokes wrote themselves!
Because some chicks just don't like sex. Plain and simple. Poor bitches.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
maybe the guys are being selfish...hence the women not liking it...poor girl.
- Christopher McCandless
Yeah maybe....but I know of a lot of chicks in their 30s who just DO NOT want it or like it....could easily have it once a month or less....Fuck that. I mean, these chicks don't even masturbate ffs. Poor bitches.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
How are you going to sort this shit out if you don't talk to her about it? Maybe she doesn't like this new person you have become....same way as this new person doesn't like the same person she still is? But how would you know what she feels if you don't ask her? Maybe you can both change a little in the same direction so you can connect again?
I've been with my bf for 13.5 years....and we had a really shit 18 months or so back a few years ago....bitching, moaning, not happy, he wasn't working, I was working too much, we were both drinking WAY too much....life was miserable for that period....we just didn't connect and were on different pages. But that's normal. Do you really think every year is going to be roses and chocolates? Fuck no. But when you come out the other side of the shit stages, you learn from them and appreciate the good stages. I'm sure we'll have more shit years as the decades go on....it's to be expected.
I don't know where society got this picture of every single year of say a 50 year relationship being perfect where both parties are 100% connected and happy....because it's not....and you have to figure out how you can make it work....by both parties making changes....and if you can't make it work, I guess you both have to move on. But you've got to give it a go....and refusing to talk to her about it is just prolonging and drawing out this shit period.
Man up....for your kids' sake.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
I think what you're going through is completely normal....you just need to figure out how you get over this hump. For us, we both went on separate holidays....had to find ourselves again after 10+ years of being "us"....and it worked....with a fair bit of work from "both of us" though once the holidays were over.
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
She takes it as an insult instead of reflecting on what my issues are with her. We fight and I bring up all the things I do the most partners don't and how I want more affection. Not even talking about sex. Just affection. I know this sounds weird coming from a guy but for some reason its all coming out today haha. Her family are not the type to show much affection, and i was always okay with that but as time goes on it changes. Not trying to be a creep but I can it from a few girls right this second if I so desired. But I am trying to be a better person then that.....its wearing thin though.
She is very insecure with her body and after ten years STILL covers up while changing. Any women here understand that? I tell her daily how beautiful she is but its her own inner problem. She is very jealous also because I have many girl "friends". Just friends.
Life is weird i guess. You never know where or what type of situation you will end up in as an adult.
I even asked her to go to a marriage counselor, I ended up going once alone.
Another big problem is I had many girlfriends before marriage. Long term for a few. HER LONGEST RELATIONSHIP BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED WAS SIX MONTHS!!! And she was raised very spoiled. Always had everyone do things for her. So now she expects it from me. That makes her expect what I do, rather then appreciate it. That fuels my anger. As time goes by it wears on you....
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
Right now we are at once every almost two months. I workout everyday, so for me that is fucking torture.
I mean I love internet porn but come on! If I was single I would be dating three girls right now!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
No idea bro, that is tough stuff. If she wont talk about it I would maybe try to find a fulcrum to force the issue. If she can understand the reality of your feelings and what shutting you out means to your relationship maybe she will open up. Sounds like you are trying - also sounds like she has some long term issues. Sorry man, I hope you can work through this.
If not? Hey, you have kids and your wife sounds like she is healthy. Things could be a LOT worse. I am sure it sucks to not feel the love though, sorry for the situation.
Is she happy? Have you asked her that?
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
Sometimes a little time and a different perspective helps.....( a good road trip too
I have stumbbled across articles from this site several times and found them interesting....
http://www.psychologytoday.com/collecti ... h-partners
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the ... uade-touch
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pea ... lationship
SMILE Eddie Vedder Cleveland 06.....
I haven't read the whole thread, but... Maybe she would like to grow and improve too, but doesn't feel like the marriage allows her to do that. Maybe she feels stuck in the rut of everyday life. If that's the case, I'd definitely try to get out of the rut before giving up on the marriage.
Good luck.
by my count, my wife owing big time. the only ones i get are the fluff before sex. I say "come on, a bit more?". She says "well isn't that enough? you're ready, aren't you?".
she thinks that's only the appetizer, when sometimes it would be nice if it was the main course.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
so much for two sides to every story.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
you seem to be putting yourself above her a bit "I've changed for the better, she hasn't". that's a tad egotistical, isn't it? or maybe judgmental? when you fall in love with someone, it's usually for those core traits that don't change (humour, emotional intelligence), not the things that do change over time (interest in tennis as opposed to moster truck rallies).
if she hasn't changed, wouldn't that mean she's the same person you fell in love with in the first place?
the only way to resolve this, as everyone else has said, is to talk to her, saying you feel disconnected. I do all the fucking housework too, but that's not a deal breaker. She's not your co worker who is slacking off at your expense. She's your wife. if the housework thing is big, then you are actually doing pretty well. just talk to her about it, and I'm sure it will help. I have had to have a discussion or two about my wife doing more around the house, and it helps. if there are bigger issues at play not mentioned, then counselling is a great idea. actually, counselling should be considered in healthy marriages. treat a relationship like you treat your vehicle. do you get an oil change only when the oil is gone, or do you change it when it's a bit old? same thing with a relationship. don't just fix it when it's broken, keep it running healthy.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
I think it's interesting that you left my first sentence out of the quote. I suggested he talk to her! :P
Perhaps you could initiate some project she may like, and do it as a team.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
I feel the hurt she could feel if she read this ...
can you?
This emotional betrayal ...
you don't know my wife, so you have no fucking clue how she'd react. she and I have the same sense of humour. she'd laugh at this.
you just think you fucking know everything, don't you?
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
nothing interesting about it. I know you said that. but you still made a pretty wild assumption based on one person's side of things. and a very condensed version of what's going on, I'm sure.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
I think about feelings a lot ... which is the key to a lasting relationship
putting your mates feelings first ... is all
I also feel this is not the place for bedroom talk
unless you are building up not tearing down
making someone you love proud of the relationship and having them know you are proud too
I guess to simplify ... a positive loving message
my post here was attempting to give the op that perspective
loyalty the basis of love