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Sad....

acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
edited February 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
Been married for almost ten years and have created two beautiful children. I have always been the one to shower my wife with gifts in creative way, cook many meals etc..
She has never ever been the type to do that for me and i never used to care. Until now...

Now I am at the point to where I am not in love anymore. I love her dearly but I dont care to do the romantic things anymore. I dont feel the passion. I dont feel the connection.
Sad....
I read how people evolve for better or worse every 7-10 years. I have changed for the better in 10 years. I am way way way better person now then before, yet she has not. Not with interests, hobbies, needs, desires nothing. I am different now and its a scary thing.

Oh...Happy Valentines day everyone :D :roll:
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
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Comments

  • titchinellotitchinello Posts: 3,139
    my only response is, do you really need 1 day to show your love, what about the other 364 days of the year.
    don't they count
    Glasgow cathouse-1992-2-23, San diego sports arena-1995-11-06 & 07, Glasgow secc-2000-06-03, Tampa st petes times forum-2003-04-13, London O2 arena-2009-08-18, Belfast odyssey arena-2010-06-23.Leeds 2014 - 07-08
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    titchinello wrote:
    my only response is, do you really need 1 day to show your love, what about the other 364 days of the year.
    don't they count

    Not many husbands do like I...
    I cook 5 days a week and am very involved with the hosehold chores. Its a team effort in my opinion.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • titchinellotitchinello Posts: 3,139
    acoustic guy wrote:
    titchinello wrote:
    my only response is, do you really need 1 day to show your love, what about the other 364 days of the year.
    don't they count

    Not many husbands do like I...
    I cook 5 days a week and am very involved with the hosehold chores. Its a team effort in my opinion.

    same here, I work nightshift, come home sleep, get up, make suppers, I do my fair share of the dishes and laundry etc, I don't believe in the woman does all the work crap, infact i probably do most of it, while my wife sits at home, and to be honest I don't mind at all.
    Glasgow cathouse-1992-2-23, San diego sports arena-1995-11-06 & 07, Glasgow secc-2000-06-03, Tampa st petes times forum-2003-04-13, London O2 arena-2009-08-18, Belfast odyssey arena-2010-06-23.Leeds 2014 - 07-08
  • photogirllizphotogirlliz Posts: 2,491
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Been married for almost ten years and have created two beautiful children. I have always been the one to shower my wife with gifts in creative way, cook many meals etc..
    She has never ever been the type to do that for me and i never used to care. Until now...

    Now I am at the point to where I am not in love anymore. I love her dearly but I dont care to do the romantic things anymore. I dont feel the passion. I dont feel the connection.
    Sad....
    I read how people evolve for better or worse every 7-10 years. I have changed for the better in 10 years. I am way way way better person now then before, yet she has not. Not with interests, hobbies, needs, desires nothing. I am different now and its a scary thing.

    Oh...Happy Valentines day everyone :D :roll:
    Have you said these things to her?
    "I am myself...like you, somehow."
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    photogirlliz wrote:
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Been married for almost ten years and have created two beautiful children. I have always been the one to shower my wife with gifts in creative way, cook many meals etc..
    She has never ever been the type to do that for me and i never used to care. Until now...

    Now I am at the point to where I am not in love anymore. I love her dearly but I dont care to do the romantic things anymore. I dont feel the passion. I dont feel the connection.
    Sad....
    I read how people evolve for better or worse every 7-10 years. I have changed for the better in 10 years. I am way way way better person now then before, yet she has not. Not with interests, hobbies, needs, desires nothing. I am different now and its a scary thing.

    Oh...Happy Valentines day everyone :D :roll:
    Have you said these things to her?
    No. not directly yet....to tuff.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • 8181 Posts: 58,276
    acoustic guy wrote:
    titchinello wrote:
    my only response is, do you really need 1 day to show your love, what about the other 364 days of the year.
    don't they count

    Not many husbands do like I...
    I cook 5 days a week and am very involved with the hosehold chores. Its a team effort in my opinion.


    see...that's your problem...you aren't being manly enough...

    let the woman take care of the cooking/dishes/cleaning/laundry....and focus your efforts on the beer drinking/sports watching/car fixing/lawn mowing chores.
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    81 wrote:
    acoustic guy wrote:
    titchinello wrote:
    my only response is, do you really need 1 day to show your love, what about the other 364 days of the year.
    don't they count

    Not many husbands do like I...
    I cook 5 days a week and am very involved with the hosehold chores. Its a team effort in my opinion.


    see...that's your problem...you aren't being manly enough...

    let the woman take care of the cooking/dishes/cleaning/laundry....and focus your efforts on the beer drinking/sports watching/car fixing/lawn mowing chores.

    there is nothing hotter than a man doing housework...
    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/ ... 3246.shtml
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • CheeksCheeks Posts: 151
    How did you used to connect with your wife?
    Are you wanting to reconnect? The tone of your post gave the impression that perhaps you are thinking of moving on from your marriage? Please correct me if I'm making assumptions.
  • pandorapandora Posts: 21,855
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Been married for almost ten years and have created two beautiful children. I have always been the one to shower my wife with gifts in creative way, cook many meals etc..
    She has never ever been the type to do that for me and i never used to care. Until now...

    Now I am at the point to where I am not in love anymore. I love her dearly but I dont care to do the romantic things anymore. I dont feel the passion. I dont feel the connection.
    Sad....
    I read how people evolve for better or worse every 7-10 years. I have changed for the better in 10 years. I am way way way better person now then before, yet she has not. Not with interests, hobbies, needs, desires nothing. I am different now and its a scary thing.

    Oh...Happy Valentines day everyone :D :roll:
    ah yes ... ebb and flow of love ... let it push you pull you

    in the meantime ... passion is easily rekindled

    yes, we all change... your partner also
    I think if you look close you may see how and for the better.
    It sounds like you are disillusioned with love,
    maybe not with only her, maybe with life.

    You give and don't feel like you are satisfied... this where disillusionment comes from.

    Take some time to identify what you want then let your spouse know.
    She may surprise you with a list of her own!

    Good luck... don't give up on love it will be back around again
    Happy Valentines Day! :D
  • photogirllizphotogirlliz Posts: 2,491
    It may be tough, but it's honest. In fact, she may not realize you're feeling the way you are and that she hasn't been providing things she needs to for you if you haven't talked about it openly and honestly. She may put in more effort just knowing. People get comfortable and often start ignoring things they shouldn't...and a lot of the time they don't really realize that their lack of effort is having a negative impact--especially if it's not being communicated. Talk to her...it may make a world of difference to your relationship. If not, at least you can know you did what you could and that you were honest about how you felt.
    "I am myself...like you, somehow."
  • comebackgirlcomebackgirl Posts: 9,885
    RKCNDY wrote:

    there is nothing hotter than a man doing housework...
    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/ ... 3246.shtml

    So true, RKCNDY. Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)

    AG - you have to tell her. I think a lot of couples tend to disconnect after years of being together, especially after having kids. She can't read your mind. If you don't tell her you feel this way, she can't do anything about it. As far as she knows, you love cooking. Give it a chance to see if things can improve.
    tumblr_mg4nc33pIX1s1mie8o1_400.gif

    "I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
  • drinkbigredinsteaddrinkbigredinstead Posts: 2,240
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Been married for almost ten years and have created two beautiful children. I have always been the one to shower my wife with gifts in creative way, cook many meals etc..
    She has never ever been the type to do that for me and i never used to care. Until now...

    Now I am at the point to where I am not in love anymore. I love her dearly but I dont care to do the romantic things anymore. I dont feel the passion. I dont feel the connection.
    Sad....
    I read how people evolve for better or worse every 7-10 years. I have changed for the better in 10 years. I am way way way better person now then before, yet she has not. Not with interests, hobbies, needs, desires nothing. I am different now and its a scary thing.

    Oh...Happy Valentines day everyone :D :roll:


    :(

    Marriage is a wild ride...hold on to each other tight and don't let go. If you do let go, make sure you both know why. Tell her just what you typed....she needs to know. I would want to know.
  • NamiNami Posts: 5,995
    [quote=" Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)"

    U see. now that is damn funny, I think the rest of the people around me heard me laugh.

    If all women were like you :lol:

    OP, Hang in there everyone goes through rough patches in a marriage, only later on it life will you look back on this time and say to yourself, Damn, I'm glad I hung in there.
    Hamilton 9-13-05; Toronto 5-9-06, Toronto 8-21-09, Toronto 9-12-11, Hamilton 9-15-11....
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain Posts: 31,123
    comebackgirl wrote:
    RKCNDY wrote:

    there is nothing hotter than a man doing housework...
    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/ ... 3246.shtml

    So true, RKCNDY. Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)

    AG - you have to tell her. I think a lot of couples tend to disconnect after years of being together, especially after having kids. She can't read your mind. If you don't tell her you feel this way, she can't do anything about it. As far as she knows, you love cooking. Give it a chance to see if things can improve.

    Holy shit, if I didn't think I was already getting one tonight I would get home, kiss her hello & go and clean the bathroom! (Maybe I will do that tomorrow and test your theory.) :lol:

    OP, I feel for you but I dont know if I would let the cat all of the way out of the cage. For all you know she has felt the same way as you for a long time. If you both love each other I believe you can work through things to find what is best for you both and your family. Good luck.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    maybe somebody is going through the change of life. men have hormonal changes like women do.
    I wish the best for your family :)
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • MedozKMedozK Posts: 9,209
    comebackgirl wrote:
    Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)
    Wait a minute...ive been getting ripped off for years...is this in a marriage rule book or something? :shock:
  • drinkbigredinsteaddrinkbigredinstead Posts: 2,240
    MedozK wrote:
    comebackgirl wrote:
    Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)
    Wait a minute...ive been getting ripped off for years...is this in a marriage rule book or something? :shock:

    Why yes it is ;)
  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 29,232
    If you truly feel this way it's best that she knows ...
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • Mamasan23Mamasan23 Posts: 16,388
    Talk to your wife, tell her how you're feeling. A marriage is work - I'm sure you know it's not easy but you have to work together to keep the spark in it.

    In 10 years, if you work it out, you'll be singing this song:

    http://youtu.be/CrtbGR6RPrU
    WI '98,  WI '99 (EV),  WI '00,  Chgo '00,  MO '00,  Champaign '03,  Chgo '03,  WI '03,  IN '03,  MI '04,  Chgo '06:N1 & 2,  WI '06,  Chgo '07,  Chgo '08 (EV:N1),  Chgo '09:N1 & 2,  Chgo '11 (EV:N1),  WI '11:N1 & 2,  Philly '12,  Wrigley '13,  Pitt '13,  Buff '13, Detroit '14, MKE '14, Wrigley '16: N1 & N2, Seattle '18 N2, Wrigley '18: N1 & N2, Fenway '18 N1, STL '22, St Paul '23 N2, Chgo '23: N1 & N2
  • eb239643eb239643 Posts: 36
    professional bathroom cleaner for hire!!
  • drinkbigredinsteaddrinkbigredinstead Posts: 2,240
    Mamasan23 wrote:
    Talk to your wife, tell her how you're feeling. A marriage is work - I'm sure you know it's not easy but you have to work together to keep the spark in it.

    In 10 years, if you work it out, you'll be singing this song:

    http://youtu.be/CrtbGR6RPrU


    Very true...

    that song was one that had me misty eyed during Alpine
  • dcfaithfuldcfaithful Posts: 13,076
    Sorry to hear this. :(

    For the record though, I've been getting ripped off too. Cleaning the bathroom is one of my jobs around the house and I am certain that the number of bathroom cleanings compared to the number of BJ's does NOT match up. :evil:
    7/2/06 - Denver, CO
    6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
    8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
    9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
    9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
    9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 2
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    i will say this...

    cooking dinner is a two party undertaking. someone cuts up the veggies while someone does something else.
    someone sets the table, someone does this, someone does that. then eat together and clean up together.

    but, chady, i can't cook...boohoo
    shut your face and cut up the fucking onions and potatoes...easy shit :evil:
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • comebackgirlcomebackgirl Posts: 9,885
    MedozK wrote:
    comebackgirl wrote:
    Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)
    Wait a minute...ive been getting ripped off for years...is this in a marriage rule book or something? :shock:
    Yep. The full entry states "BJs will be given on birthdays, anniversaries, valentine's day and after a good & thorough bathroom cleaning" :|
    tumblr_mg4nc33pIX1s1mie8o1_400.gif

    "I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,408
    acoustic guy wrote:
    photogirlliz wrote:
    Have you said these things to her?
    No. not directly yet....to tuff.

    You should talk to her about how you feel. It sounds like she's doing less in the relationship than you are.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • photogirllizphotogirlliz Posts: 2,491
    comebackgirl wrote:
    MedozK wrote:
    comebackgirl wrote:
    Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)
    Wait a minute...ive been getting ripped off for years...is this in a marriage rule book or something? :shock:
    Yep. The full entry states "BJs will be given on birthdays, anniversaries, valentine's day and after a good & thorough bathroom cleaning" :|
    I'm pretty sure that's what's in my rule book as well. There just happen to be more dates entered in mine...the writing looks a bit suspicious ;)
    "I am myself...like you, somehow."
  • Leezestarr313Leezestarr313 Posts: 14,352
    chadwick wrote:
    i will say this...

    cooking dinner is a two party undertaking. someone cuts up the veggies while someone does something else.
    someone sets the table, someone does this, someone does that. then eat together and clean up together

    ...easy shit :D

    :thumbup:

    And yep - communication is the key! Tell her what is on your mind! Good luck to you both!
    Please, Pearl Jam, consider a Benaroya Hall vinyl reissue!
    http://community.pearljam.com/discussion/148993/please-pearl-jam-consider-a-vinyl-benaroya-hall-re-issue


  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    and all this bj talk has me thinking i am one lucky son of a bitch i guess. normally i fight women off of my thingamajig. again, normally they need to give me this type of treatment. i do not understand women who do not desire to perform oral. if my bathroom is filthy it is oral time. if i haven't done my dishes in 13 weeks it is oral time. i can't lose. if i have not folded laundry in weeks and have dirty and clean clothes piles, oral.

    the ladies i know need to have this and they are correct in knowing their bodys' needs. they know what they need so they go after it. it is all very basic, very easy stuff to understand.

    happy valentines day, everyone. cheers.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain Posts: 31,123
    chadwick wrote:
    and all this bj talk has me thinking i am one lucky son of a bitch i guess. normally i fight women off of my thingamajig. again, normally they need to give me this type of treatment. i do not understand women who do not desire to perform oral. if my bathroom is filthy it is oral time. if i haven't done my dishes in 13 weeks it is oral time. i can't lose. if i have not folded laundry in weeks and have dirty and clean clothes piles, oral.

    the ladies i know need to have this and they are correct in knowing their bodys' needs. they know what they need so they go after it. it is all very basic, very easy stuff to understand.

    happy valentines day, everyone. cheers.

    All awesome stuff. And most of that goes out the window once you are married for a year. :lol:
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    drinkbigredinstead wrote:
    MedozK wrote:
    comebackgirl wrote:
    Want a BJ? Clean the bathroom :lol: Works every time. 8-)
    Wait a minute...ive been getting ripped off for years...is this in a marriage rule book or something? :shock:

    Why yes it is ;)

    I must have an older edition of said rule book. I think I'll quit cleaning the bathroom now...
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
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