No interest in Christmas

pandora

EmBleve wrote:

^^yeah. Mom died this year, dad had major surgery, brother was nowhere to be found in any caregiving process, and newly single, very little funds. Gotta say, I'm not looking forward to the holidays.

Oh this is a terribly hard year for you. It's holiday time that I feel the closest to my deceased parents
but it is too soon for you. I was shell shocked the first year too as I think most people are.
I hope something and someone cheers you and gets you through
and that 2013 is a healing year for you.

I know all about absent siblings unfortunately... their loss.

PJ_Soul

I'd like to suggest to everyone who is feeling negative or annoyed about Christmas spend the volunteering for the homeless - there are always things happening Christmas day so you can do this. That will most likely bring the real meaning of Christmas home to you. It's a rewarding experience for all involved and might put your negative feelings about consumerism or whatever in perspective, or at least overshadow them.

whygohome

Ahhhh, Christmas, a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

chadwick

whygohome wrote:

Ahhhh, Christmas, a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

everyone in those pictures should be slapped

guypjfreak

chadwick wrote:

whygohome wrote:

Ahhhh, Christmas, a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

everyone in those pict :crazy: ures should be slapped

and they have to mad

comebackgirl

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'd like to suggest to everyone who is feeling negative or annoyed about Christmas spend the volunteering for the homeless - there are always things happening Christmas day so you can do this. That will most likely bring the real meaning of Christmas home to you. It's a rewarding experience for all involved and might put your negative feelings about consumerism or whatever in perspective, or at least overshadow them.

some homeless and domestic violence shelters run "adopt-a-family" programs for Christmas too...I always found it cool to see the kids get so excited, particularly since there aren't any children in my family to buy for.

stuckinline

comebackgirl wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'd like to suggest to everyone who is feeling negative or annoyed about Christmas spend the volunteering for the homeless - there are always things happening Christmas day so you can do this. That will most likely bring the real meaning of Christmas home to you. It's a rewarding experience for all involved and might put your negative feelings about consumerism or whatever in perspective, or at least overshadow them.

some homeless and domestic violence shelters run "adopt-a-family" programs for Christmas too...I always found it cool to see the kids get so excited, particularly since there aren't any children in my family to buy for.

Thanks for posting this comebackgirl. Every Christmas I 'adopt' a few kids.

Cosmo

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'd like to suggest to everyone who is feeling negative or annoyed about Christmas spend the volunteering for the homeless - there are always things happening Christmas day so you can do this. That will most likely bring the real meaning of Christmas home to you. It's a rewarding experience for all involved and might put your negative feelings about consumerism or whatever in perspective, or at least overshadow them.

...
Actually... I did that a couple of years. 2003 and 2004... post 9-11, Iraq War... kinda depressed. Voluenteered at the big Catholic Church in Long Beach for both Thanksgiving and Christmas... anything to get away from my brothers telling me what a great President Bush was and how pin-point bombing was only killing the terrorists.
Anyway... if you do voluenteer... have a good mindset. The people you are helping are GREAT... happy and grateful you are there for them. That is uplifting. The sad part... the great numbers of people in need. It is the same reason why I could not continue voluenteering for the cat and dog rescue services... there are just so many out there. It is disheartening.
The other disheartening factor I ran into was some of the other voluenteers. Many of whom have been doing it for a long, long while and were kind of shitty when talking about the people they were there to help. If you are that jaded in helping these 'leeches'... quit fucking voluenteering. Now, most of the voluenteers... GREAT, WONDERFUL Human Beings that restore my faith in people. But, seriously, if you don't like helping people... don't voluenteer any more.
One last thing... be prepared to man the garbage detail and/or porta potty crew. You will get ordered around by the old people, but you take it because it is a vital task that must be done. I don't complain about the work, because it is voluenteer work, but just remember, newcomers get to man the hefty bags and those horrible dumpsters and Andy Gumps. Bring a good pair of work gloves and clothing you really don't care about.
Merry Christmas.

comebackgirl

stuckinline wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'd like to suggest to everyone who is feeling negative or annoyed about Christmas spend the volunteering for the homeless - there are always things happening Christmas day so you can do this. That will most likely bring the real meaning of Christmas home to you. It's a rewarding experience for all involved and might put your negative feelings about consumerism or whatever in perspective, or at least overshadow them.

some homeless and domestic violence shelters run "adopt-a-family" programs for Christmas too...I always found it cool to see the kids get so excited, particularly since there aren't any children in my family to buy for.

Thanks for posting this comebackgirl. Every Christmas I 'adopt' a few kids.

That is very cool Merry Christmas to you!

Cosmo

comebackgirl wrote:

some homeless and domestic violence shelters run "adopt-a-family" programs for Christmas too...I always found it cool to see the kids get so excited, particularly since there aren't any children in my family to buy for.

...
Here at work... we 'Adopt-A-Family'... and I think it is great. Having a truck that can carry a lot of things and a back that can lift those things (and can put together a bicycle with no problem), I helped deliver the goods a couple of three years or so.
The families are all so grateful and happy and the kids... it is great.
...
Now, you know me... I always have two sides to everything:
Most of the families we helped were very young single mother homes with more that two kids. One of the young mothers had 4 kids from three different fathers... she had her first child at age 16.
Now, being Christmas... none of this matters. But, the rest of the year, i hear from my co-workers about 'these people' welching off us good, hard working folks. That very same mother would be chastised and judged as something almost not human... a whore that needs to keepher legs closed. Is THAT the Christmas Spirit? For a week or two you actually care about people who get themselves into deep holes... so, you can blame them for our country's downfall the other 50 weeks? Is that the way to celebrate the life and teachings of Jesus?
I know... that's all on me and yeah, i am judging my co-workers. To me, they ARE being kinda dicks. It's okay to hate these people on whatever grounds you believe... I get it. Just don't try to bullshit me in the last couple weeks of the year that you feel differently. I take it as an insult.

pandora

whygohome wrote:

Ahhhh, Christmas, a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

I spot some Christmas spirit in the middle pic...
there a woman reaching out to help another

that's nice

hedonist

I feel if people WANT to put themselves in the middle of that retail madness and are happy to be there, have at it! I absolutely don't get it, but it's no skin off my nose (and assuming they can afford all that shit they're buying, well then good - get some bucks moving around).

Volunteering is an excellent idea, and Cosmo, I agree with you on the adopt-a-family thing...our company did that my first couple years of employment and I was sincerely happy to help...but if we're being honest here, I'll admit part of me was thinking "jeesh, how the fuck DO you have five children at 22?" I hope people in those dire situations search out and receive the help and resources they need to get to a better place - and yes, I try to do my part, small though it may be, throughout the rest of the year.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

PJ_Soul wrote:

I'd like to suggest to everyone who is feeling negative or annoyed about Christmas spend the volunteering for the homeless - there are always things happening Christmas day so you can do this. That will most likely bring the real meaning of Christmas home to you. It's a rewarding experience for all involved and might put your negative feelings about consumerism or whatever in perspective, or at least overshadow them.

my family did this several years back, and at least in Winnipeg, people are actually turned away from volunteering on Christmas day. They get too many people thinking this is the only day of the year people need help. they ask you to register first so they know how many people to expect, and ask those turned away to please consider helping on another day of the year, when it's truly needed.

Who Princess

Cosmo wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

some homeless and domestic violence shelters run "adopt-a-family" programs for Christmas too...I always found it cool to see the kids get so excited, particularly since there aren't any children in my family to buy for.

...
Here at work... we 'Adopt-A-Family'... and I think it is great. Having a truck that can carry a lot of things and a back that can lift those things (and can put together a bicycle with no problem), I helped deliver the goods a couple of three years or so.
The families are all so grateful and happy and the kids... it is great.
...
Now, you know me... I always have two sides to everything:
Most of the families we helped were very young single mother homes with more that two kids. One of the young mothers had 4 kids from three different fathers... she had her first child at age 16.
Now, being Christmas... none of this matters. But, the rest of the year, i hear from my co-workers about 'these people' welching off us good, hard working folks. That very same mother would be chastised and judged as something almost not human... a whore that needs to keepher legs closed. Is THAT the Christmas Spirit? For a week or two you actually care about people who get themselves into deep holes... so, you can blame them for our country's downfall the other 50 weeks? Is that the way to celebrate the life and teachings of Jesus?
I know... that's all on me and yeah, i am judging my co-workers. To me, they ARE being kinda dicks. It's okay to hate these people on whatever grounds you believe... I get it. Just don't try to bullshit me in the last couple weeks of the year that you feel differently. I take it as an insult.

It's not unique to your co-workers. I even worked for an organization that provided financial help with utilities and rent and also had holiday programs. I would hear my co-workers (who were caseworkers!) griping about the mom who had 5 kids by 4 different men, how they'd ask why the fathers weren't involved and hear "one's dead, one's incarcerated, one's on drugs, and I don't know how to find the other one," and then bitch about why we were assisting people like that. Because it's a family struggling to get by, that's why. You can preach about how she shouldn't have had those kids but it doesn't change the fact that she has them and they need help to stay together as a family. It used to drive me nuts that people termed as "helping professionals" could be so judgmental.

One other note: if you participate in some kind of Adopt a Family program, please include the teenagers in your gift giving! Virtually all programs overlook kids 12 and over. How do you think they feel when their younger siblings are showered with gifts and they get nothing? People used to tell me that they didn't know what to get teens. It's really simple--movie passes, fast food gift certificates, a gift card to Target to buy clothes they'd like. Trust me, it will really mean a lot to them.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

pandora wrote:

whygohome wrote:

Ahhhh, Christmas, a day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

I spot some Christmas spirit in the middle pic...
there a woman reaching out to help another

that's nice

she's probably the one who tripped him. or is trying to nab his box of Smarties.

pandora

Yes we pick the older kids too, generosity shown to a teen can really make a big difference.
They are forming their opinions of the world and people in it.

Cosmo

hedonist wrote:

Volunteering is an excellent idea, and Cosmo, I agree with you on the adopt-a-family thing...our company did that my first couple years of employment and I was sincerely happy to help...but if we're being honest here, I'll admit part of me was thinking "jeesh, how the fuck DO you have five children at 22?" I hope people in those dire situations search out and receive the help and resources they need to get to a better place - and yes, I try to do my part, small though it may be, throughout the rest of the year.

...
I don't know the answer. But, I have come to the notion that it doesn't matter how someone got themselves into that situation... but, my best guess is poverty and lack of knowledge plays a greater part... they need help. I'm doing well... so I can spare some money, time and effort. It has to be tough... a 16 year old mother that has to drop out of school... what are her chances at a future?
Me? I've been lucky. I've loved a lot of different women in a short period of time when I was 16 to 22. I swore I was in love and this was the gal I'd be marrying in a few years. My luck... no kids.

Cosmo

Who Princess wrote:

It's not unique to your co-workers. I even worked for an organization that provided financial help with utilities and rent and also had holiday programs. I would hear my co-workers (who were caseworkers!) griping about the mom who had 5 kids by 4 different men, how they'd ask why the fathers weren't involved and hear "one's dead, one's incarcerated, one's on drugs, and I don't know how to find the other one," and then bitch about why we were assisting people like that. Because it's a family struggling to get by, that's why. You can preach about how she shouldn't have had those kids but it doesn't change the fact that she has them and they need help to stay together as a family. It used to drive me nuts that people termed as "helping professionals" could be so judgmental.

One other note: if you participate in some kind of Adopt a Family program, please include the teenagers in your gift giving! Virtually all programs overlook kids 12 and over. How do you think they feel when their younger siblings are showered with gifts and they get nothing? People used to tell me that they didn't know what to get teens. It's really simple--movie passes, fast food gift certificates, a gift card to Target to buy clothes they'd like. Trust me, it will really mean a lot to them.

...
Like the Church voluenteers... if you have been doing it long enough to the point where you refer to the people in line as 'leeches'... you really need to voluenteer doing something else.
There was one old bag that I really wanted to shove her head in the porta potty... both were holes who smelled like shit. and she was soooo proud that she had been 'Helping the needy' for over 20 years. Time to retire, you ol' witch.

Hugh Freaking Dillon

Cosmo wrote:

Who Princess wrote:

It's not unique to your co-workers. I even worked for an organization that provided financial help with utilities and rent and also had holiday programs. I would hear my co-workers (who were caseworkers!) griping about the mom who had 5 kids by 4 different men, how they'd ask why the fathers weren't involved and hear "one's dead, one's incarcerated, one's on drugs, and I don't know how to find the other one," and then bitch about why we were assisting people like that. Because it's a family struggling to get by, that's why. You can preach about how she shouldn't have had those kids but it doesn't change the fact that she has them and they need help to stay together as a family. It used to drive me nuts that people termed as "helping professionals" could be so judgmental.

One other note: if you participate in some kind of Adopt a Family program, please include the teenagers in your gift giving! Virtually all programs overlook kids 12 and over. How do you think they feel when their younger siblings are showered with gifts and they get nothing? People used to tell me that they didn't know what to get teens. It's really simple--movie passes, fast food gift certificates, a gift card to Target to buy clothes they'd like. Trust me, it will really mean a lot to them.

...
Like the Church voluenteers... if you have been doing it long enough to the point where you refer to the people in line as 'leeches'... you really need to voluenteer doing something else.
There was one old bag that I really wanted to shove her head in the porta potty... both were holes who smelled like shit. and she was soooo proud that she had been 'Helping the needy' for over 20 years. Time to retire, you ol' witch.

there probably comes a time when people who help just get tired and jaded of seeing the same old faces, not helping themselves, but helping themselves, if you know what I mean. couples have more babies so they can stay on social assistance, that sort of thing. it would be hard not to get annoyed I would assume.

Who Princess

hedonist wrote:

I feel if people WANT to put themselves in the middle of that retail madness and are happy to be there, have at it! I absolutely don't get it, but it's no skin off my nose (and assuming they can afford all that shit they're buying, well then good - get some bucks moving around).

Volunteering is an excellent idea, and Cosmo, I agree with you on the adopt-a-family thing...our company did that my first couple years of employment and I was sincerely happy to help...but if we're being honest here, I'll admit part of me was thinking "jeesh, how the fuck DO you have five children at 22?" I hope people in those dire situations search out and receive the help and resources they need to get to a better place - and yes, I try to do my part, small though it may be, throughout the rest of the year.

We all catch ourselves thinking things like that because it's a natural defense, a way of thinking that it couldn't happen to us.

"I'd never be paralyzed in a car accident. I'm a careful driver." (What about the drunk driver that ran a red light at 90 mph and hit you?)
"I couldn't get mugged. I'm a big guy and nobody would try taking me on." (Before he's confronted by somebody with a gun.)
"My home wouldn't be destroyed by a hurricane because I have enough sense not to live by the coast!" (Which doesn't make it immune from any number of other natural disasters like tornado, flood, lightning strike, etc.)
"I'd never get HIV because I'm not promiscuous." (Overlooking the person in a supposedly monogamous relationship with an unfaithful partner.)

The young woman who gets pregnant at 16 and doesn't finish high school doesn't have too many career options. She may have been encouraged to get married or at least to keep her baby. She's most likely to end up on her own, usually supporting 2-3 kids. I've worked with many such women and they are typically employed at fast food restaurants or convenience stores (frequently both).

If you want to help people in these kinds of situations, check your morals at the door. Sometimes people make poor choices or just have bad luck. Believe me, they tend to know they've screwed up! Accept them where they are if you want to help.