No interest in Christmas

Cosmo

Hugh Freaking Dillon wrote:

there probably comes a time when people who help just get tired and jaded of seeing the same old faces, not helping themselves, but helping themselves, if you know what I mean. couples have more babies so they can stay on social assistance, that sort of thing. it would be hard not to get annoyed I would assume.

..
I can totally understand that... That's probably true. Which is why someone like that should probably voluenteer elsewhere. It sitting there and saying how much it warms your heart to help... then, the next minute cursing the ones that are there, seeking help... you've had enough... it's probably time for you to go.
Because there ARE those who are there to help... and gladly help and consider that maybe, some of these people are simply lost causes that still need to eat. Now, who knows, they may feel the exact same way, but they are at least, keeping a stiff upper lip and consider those people who are truely in need of a hot meal served to them by people there who care.

hedonist

Who Princess wrote:

We all catch ourselves thinking things like that because it's a natural defense, a way of thinking that it couldn't happen to us.

"I'd never be paralyzed in a car accident. I'm a careful driver." (What about the drunk driver that ran a red light at 90 mph and hit you?)
"I couldn't get mugged. I'm a big guy and nobody would try taking me on." (Before he's confronted by somebody with a gun.)
"My home wouldn't be destroyed by a hurricane because I have enough sense not to live by the coast!" (Which doesn't make it immune from any number of other natural disasters like tornado, flood, lightning strike, etc.)
"I'd never get HIV because I'm not promiscuous." (Overlooking the person in a supposedly monogamous relationship with an unfaithful partner.)

The young woman who gets pregnant at 16 and doesn't finish high school doesn't have too many career options. She may have been encouraged to get married or at least to keep her baby. She's most likely to end up on her own, usually supporting 2-3 kids. I've worked with many such women and they are typically employed at fast food restaurants or convenience stores (frequently both).

If you want to help people in these kinds of situations, check your morals at the door. Sometimes people make poor choices or just have bad luck. Believe me, they tend to know they've screwed up! Accept them where they are if you want to help.

Oh, I know that there by the grace of whatever go I. And like I said, I do hope a better life for them and their children are to be had. Guess it goes back to education and other means of reducing the chances of being in that position to begin with.

Cosmo

hedonist wrote:

Oh, I know that there by the grace of whatever go I. And like I said, I do hope a better life for them and their children are to be had. Guess it goes back to education and other means of reducing the chances of being in that position to begin with.

..
Yeah... i felt really bad for that mother... she was just a kid... even though she was 22 or 23. Not very smart, although she was taking night classes to get her G.E.D. I know that doesn't help her chances... but, I'm not going to discourage her.
Realistically, she is looking at a future of low paying jobs with little or no opportunity for advancement. Long hours at work are going to leave her kids with minimal parenting... I just hope she warns them of the road she has taken and steers them clear of it.
But, the reality is... it is the norm, when you are in poverty. Sure, there are anecdotal success stories... but, those are typically the exception, not the rule.

PJ_Soul

hedonist wrote:

I feel if people WANT to put themselves in the middle of that retail madness and are happy to be there, have at it! I absolutely don't get it, but it's no skin off my nose (and assuming they can afford all that shit they're buying, well then good - get some bucks moving around).

Volunteering is an excellent idea, and Cosmo, I agree with you on the adopt-a-family thing...our company did that my first couple years of employment and I was sincerely happy to help...but if we're being honest here, I'll admit part of me was thinking "jeesh, how the fuck DO you have five children at 22?" I hope people in those dire situations search out and receive the help and resources they need to get to a better place - and yes, I try to do my part, small though it may be, throughout the rest of the year.

Agreed. Yes, those people are savages, but it's not like we have to do it. Black Friday.. man oh man. I'm glad Canada doesn't have that.

A couple years ago my niece and nephew were taken to help at a Christmas day dinner soup kitchen; it was good for them to do that especially since their parents, and therefore they, are part of the 1% (not me!).

Who Princess

hedonist wrote:

Oh, I know that there by the grace of whatever go I. And like I said, I do hope a better life for them and their children are to be had. Guess it goes back to education and other means of reducing the chances of being in that position to begin with.

Well, I didn't mean it to be critical of you or anyone who has that kind of reaction at some point because as I said, we all do it as a defense mechanism. I've been amazed at the number of people in recent weeks who've discussed Hurricane Sandy with comments like "I'd never be so stupid to live by the coast!" as if someone deserves to have their house leveled by a once in a hundred years type storm. (A few years ago a tornado touched down about 3 miles from my house. Maybe I should move? :think: )

But it's one thing to have a momentary reaction like that and another to treat people with condescension or outright contempt. The young mom may not have had a stable family life herself, or didn't have the support to stay in school while managing care for a baby. She may have several kids because being a mom is the only gratifying thing she's ever done.

I guess my main point is that it's great to volunteer to during the holidays, but people should help out at other times too. There are other people besides the homeless and poor who can use support. There are many isolated older adults who might like to be an adopted grandparent for the holiday season. If people want to volunteer, just look around, there are so many organizations and so many needs.

hedonist

Who Princess wrote:

Well, I didn't mean it to be critical of you or anyone who has that kind of reaction at some point because as I said, we all do it as a defense mechanism. I've been amazed at the number of people in recent weeks who've discussed Hurricane Sandy with comments like "I'd never be so stupid to live by the coast!" as if someone deserves to have their house leveled by a once in a hundred years type storm. (A few years ago a tornado touched down about 3 miles from my house. Maybe I should move? :think: )

I didn't take what you said negatively, but thank you And I agree.

Also, excellent idea about helping out older folks...lord knows there are many who have no one.

Cosmo

hedonist wrote:

Who Princess wrote:

Well, I didn't mean it to be critical of you or anyone who has that kind of reaction at some point because as I said, we all do it as a defense mechanism. I've been amazed at the number of people in recent weeks who've discussed Hurricane Sandy with comments like "I'd never be so stupid to live by the coast!" as if someone deserves to have their house leveled by a once in a hundred years type storm. (A few years ago a tornado touched down about 3 miles from my house. Maybe I should move? :think: )

I didn't take what you said negatively, but thank you And I agree.

Also, excellent idea about helping out older folks...lord knows there are many who have no one.

...
Actually... the work at the chuch wasn't all that bad. I just wanted to paint a true picture of what it is like... with the bossy old people and the neverending garbage cans and the smelly dumpsters and the folding up of the brazillion folding tables and chairs and other manual labor tasks and your hair and clothes smelling like garbage when you get into your car. It's not all about handing out plates of food... the old lady that hates the leech people does that.
But, the people being fed are grateful. You DO feel happy (and sad) for them. I get to go home to a cozy warm home... eat whenever I want... til I'm full... take a long warm shower and sleep in a nice comfortable bed... with the sad realization that people I had met that day do not.

comebackgirl

Cosmo wrote:

comebackgirl wrote:

some homeless and domestic violence shelters run "adopt-a-family" programs for Christmas too...I always found it cool to see the kids get so excited, particularly since there aren't any children in my family to buy for.

...
Here at work... we 'Adopt-A-Family'... and I think it is great. Having a truck that can carry a lot of things and a back that can lift those things (and can put together a bicycle with no problem), I helped deliver the goods a couple of three years or so.
The families are all so grateful and happy and the kids... it is great.
...
Now, you know me... I always have two sides to everything:
Most of the families we helped were very young single mother homes with more that two kids. One of the young mothers had 4 kids from three different fathers... she had her first child at age 16.
Now, being Christmas... none of this matters. But, the rest of the year, i hear from my co-workers about 'these people' welching off us good, hard working folks. That very same mother would be chastised and judged as something almost not human... a whore that needs to keepher legs closed. Is THAT the Christmas Spirit? For a week or two you actually care about people who get themselves into deep holes... so, you can blame them for our country's downfall the other 50 weeks? Is that the way to celebrate the life and teachings of Jesus?
I know... that's all on me and yeah, i am judging my co-workers. To me, they ARE being kinda dicks. It's okay to hate these people on whatever grounds you believe... I get it. Just don't try to bullshit me in the last couple weeks of the year that you feel differently. I take it as an insult.

It's cool that you do that and it is really cool to see the family's enjoy this.

I think this is the difference between people who give because they really want to give and benefit others and those who give to make themselves look and feel good. Being generous one day out of the year isn't a pass to judge someone else without knowing anything about their history, etc..it really says more about them than the person they're judging. The coolest are the people that give anonymously just for the joy of seeing someone else happy.

comebackgirl

Cosmo wrote:

hedonist wrote:

Volunteering is an excellent idea, and Cosmo, I agree with you on the adopt-a-family thing...our company did that my first couple years of employment and I was sincerely happy to help...but if we're being honest here, I'll admit part of me was thinking "jeesh, how the fuck DO you have five children at 22?" I hope people in those dire situations search out and receive the help and resources they need to get to a better place - and yes, I try to do my part, small though it may be, throughout the rest of the year.

...
I don't know the answer. But, I have come to the notion that it doesn't matter how someone got themselves into that situation... but, my best guess is poverty and lack of knowledge plays a greater part... they need help. I'm doing well... so I can spare some money, time and effort. It has to be tough... a 16 year old mother that has to drop out of school... what are her chances at a future?
Me? I've been lucky. I've loved a lot of different women in a short period of time when I was 16 to 22. I swore I was in love and this was the gal I'd be marrying in a few years. My luck... no kids.

And the research is mixed, but there seems to be some link between girls who were sexually abused as children and teenage pregnancy. There is a definite link between child sexual abuse and risk taking behavior in adolescence. I'm sure neglect, poverty, etc also play a role. I agree...regardless of what dynamics led to a situation, if a person needs help, I'm going to help.

EmBleve

pandora wrote:

EmBleve wrote:

^^yeah. Mom died this year, dad had major surgery, brother was nowhere to be found in any caregiving process, and newly single, very little funds. Gotta say, I'm not looking forward to the holidays.

Oh this is a terribly hard year for you. It's holiday time that I feel the closest to my deceased parents
but it is too soon for you. I was shell shocked the first year too as I think most people are.
I hope something and someone cheers you and gets you through
and that 2013 is a healing year for you.

I know all about absent siblings unfortunately... their loss.

Thank you, Pandora.

STAYSEA

I'm not religious. I spent all day shopping. Then I had to make 4 dozen cookies, 3 batches of brownies, a few batches of fudge, many fudge/ peppermint patties, and wrap gifts. I don't do Christmas? All the stuff I made is for other people's holiday parties. I'm alone on Christmas and I don't care. It's the third year now. I might go to a punk rock show downtown or get drunk and watch movies.

No matter what though, I don't have to do Christmas!

I said, Please let me SLEEEP!

A ten clubber just sent me a Lubbock Bootleg today.... Late Hanukkah or early Christmas?
I thanks thee no matter what.


30 ft. Fall and Black Market Syndicate for 10$, hmmm. :?

fear4freedom

I just bought 20 cool, unique christmas songs off Itunes and made 35 cd's for all my family and friends! I will ship some to the Philippines, Africa, Europe and many states. They will love it and enjoy the music over the next few weeks. The day is important to remember the birth of Jesus and the message he brought to us. We should try our best to enhance our relationships that are meaningful. We should try our best to give to those in need and help those who need comfort. Its important to help others through tough times and Christmas is a perfect time to do that. Christmas is a great time to step away from everyday life and appreciate everything we are able to have and enjoy here, while we are here. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

F Me In The Brain

I am more excited for Christmas this year than I have been in a long time. Been an crazy year and I look forward to being able to share it with the ones I love.

EmBleve, best wishes and thoughts. Sounds like a tough one for you.

Byrnzie

chadwick

Byrnzie wrote:

nothing

cincybearcat

Byrnzie wrote:

I always find it kinda silly for non-religious people to try and mock others about Christmas by using religion.

Byrnzie

cincybearcat wrote:

I always find it kinda silly for non-religious people to try and mock others about Christmas by using religion.

Of course you do.

cincybearcat

Byrnzie wrote:

cincybearcat wrote:

I always find it kinda silly for non-religious people to try and mock others about Christmas by using religion.

Of course you do.

I was referring to the guy in the store by the way. But you know what? He could be religious, I don't know.

Question - does he even know how may of those people go to church?

I have had a blast again this pre-christmas time. Wife picked a child's name off her giving tree and we went shopping with our daughtero for the little girl (same age). My daughter was super excited to get presents for the girl, helped wrap them, etc. Liked it so much, she asked if we could get another child's name off the tree. So we did. It was really great seeing how much joy my little girl got from thinking about those other girls opening these gifts on christmas morning. It is a great opportunity.

hedonist

cincybearcat wrote:

It was really great seeing how much joy my little girl got from thinking about those other girls opening these gifts on christmas morning. It is a great opportunity.

I just love this. Your little one has a big heart.

I hope everyone who appreciates this holiday and time of year - for whatever reason - enjoys it fully and without condescension.

Scrooges and Grinches can go pout in the corner

This year, we're gonna hit up a local animal shelter with giftcards to Petsmart and rawhide bones for the pooches - plus some quality time with those still in cages.

cincybearcat

hedonist wrote:

This year, we're gonna hit up a local animal shelter with giftcards to Petsmart and rawhide bones for the pooches - plus some quality time with those still in cages.

NIce!!!!!!