Adults who experienced their parent's divorce as children

dmftraveller

Heineken Helen wrote:

Wow, there are some really sad stories here. Me and my other half are both kids of divorce. My parents only split when I'd already left home... stayed together 'for the kids'... stupid selfish idea really. They both hated eachother for as long as I could remember and it was really bitter, they'd bicker over any little thing at all. My mother turned into such an angry person and took it out on us cos she could. Not really in an abusive way but in other ways that were really just as bad. She could have completely fucked our lives up... and she tried every chance she got. I don't speak to her at all. She's not invited to my wedding but she may well turn up out of spite and try to destroy it :roll: who knows? If she does, I'm all set to simply ignore her. My sister deals with this more often though, her turning up to occasions to ruin them and it makes it hard for her to plan anything. She did the simple registry office wedding for that reason. To be honest, I can't wait til she's dead so it's all over completely. I have no feelings for the woman at all.

I know that my father left my mother because she is similar to yours. I posted my story yesterday, but I didn't mention much about my mother. She is basically a mean, spiteful, shallow and narcissistic woman, which is why my father ran off in a cowardly way. Once he left, all her anger and rage and nastiness was directed at me. I stayed in her life and tried to be an understanding, helpful daughter because she has a mental illness (bipolar disorder) and doctors would constantly tell me that she couldn't help being abusive and cruel. I think part of her problem is her basic personality and who she really is as a person. Knowing this now, I wish I had cut her out of my life years ago. --Reason I say all this is that I am glad you have cut your mom out of your life! Life is too damn short to be putting up with vindictive, destructive people. I hope you and your sister can avoid her entirely, and hopefully live your lives forgetting the way she treated you. And I will cross my fingers that she doesn't show up at your wedding. Try not to even think about the possibility and be happy. I really feel for your sister if she is still having to deal with your mother. I know what it feels like to know your own mother tries so hard to make you miserable...(Reminds me of a line in Daughter: She holds the hand that holds her down... she will rise above!!) And we have to do just that, despite these fucked up, so-called parents. All the best to you and your sister

And congrats on getting married !!