"Bullied"

haffajappa

Paul David wrote:

HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY EQUATE BULLY-DRIVEN SUICIDE AND TEASING,MAKING FUN, AND HARMLESS JOKING AROUND??? I'll say it again, you know nothing of what you speak, since you obviously were never the target of a bully. Teasing is not even close to the same.

You are obviously the clueless one.

I don't think that they take into account that there are different levels of severity and you cannot lump harmless joking around with serious torment.

As a kid i teased around and got teased, that's not the same as bullying.
And its not competition either...

I tried to decipher the competition thing but they seem to still be going on about it so I give up. I have played sports all my life and you can't tell me that 'bullying' is some sort of healthy competition.

Blockhead

can you not grasp the difference between racisim and bullying, and adult and child,

JonnyPistachio

HeidiJam wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

Now, making fun of someone and bullying are two differnet things. I would say that I never bullied anyone. But I sure made it evident that my older brothers chin looked like a but-crack every chance I got when we were kids. Big difference.

How is that a big difference??? What he was really insecure about his his and you making fun of that caused serious damage??? How do you know whats harmless and whats not the person on the other end of the joke???

Because it was my brother and I know him. The things i said to my brother, I would never have said to others. I usually said those things in response to him jabbing at me -- we made fun of each other a lot, but he was my brother. I don't consider what he did bullying at all.

Why don't you address what I said about your first qoute about how I was never "destroyed" in my adult life even though I was never bullied. How does that make any sense? Or am I just an exception?

Hugh Freaking Dillon

no, cause many adults act like children, and racism is their way of bullying in some cases. but I guess that's ok because it "builds character".

can you not grasp that there is a direct correlation between how a child deals with situations growing up and how they deal with them as an adult? if you don't stop the bully's actions as a child, the bullying will continue into adulthood. it's really not that hard a concept. racism survives generations, as does bullying. stop the bully, stop the cycle of abuse. again, pretty simple concept.

HeidiJam wrote:

can you not grasp the difference between racisim and bullying, and adult and child,

Blockhead

Paul David wrote:

no, cause many adults act like children, and racism is their way of bullying in some cases. but I guess that's ok because it "builds character".

can you not grasp that there is a direct correlation between how a child deals with situations growing up and how they deal with them as an adult? if you don't stop the bully's actions as a child, the bullying will continue into adulthood. it's really not that hard a concept. racism survives generations, as does bullying. stop the bully, stop the cycle of abuse. again, pretty simple concept.

HeidiJam wrote:

can you not grasp the difference between racisim and bullying, and adult and child,

Once again, please explain to me how you are going to stop bullying, when ITs the way children deal with differences. For example if a young child goes to church and never saw a black person in real life, and at church saw some black people and said out loud why are there black people here. The child clearly did not know how to deal with taht situation and some black people could have taken that as a racisit comment.

inmytree

HeidiJam wrote:

Once again, please explain to me how you are going to stop bullying, when ITs the way children deal with differences. For example if a young child goes to church and never saw a black person in real life, and at church saw some black people and said out loud why are there black people here. The child clearly did not know how to deal with taht situation and some black people could have taken that as a racisit comment.

um...

that child is pulled aside and the parent/caregiver explains that sort of comment/behavior is not acceptable and explains why it's not ok...

you see that's a teachable moment...

from your examples I get the sense you have no clue as to what bullying is...

_

HeidiJam wrote:

Paul David wrote:

no, cause many adults act like children, and racism is their way of bullying in some cases. but I guess that's ok because it "builds character".

can you not grasp that there is a direct correlation between how a child deals with situations growing up and how they deal with them as an adult? if you don't stop the bully's actions as a child, the bullying will continue into adulthood. it's really not that hard a concept. racism survives generations, as does bullying. stop the bully, stop the cycle of abuse. again, pretty simple concept.

HeidiJam wrote:

can you not grasp the difference between racisim and bullying, and adult and child,

Once again, please explain to me how you are going to stop bullying, when ITs the way children deal with differences. For example if a young child goes to church and never saw a black person in real life, and at church saw some black people and said out loud why are there black people here. The child clearly did not know how to deal with taht situation and some black people could have taken that as a racisit comment.

Why do you keep insisting that bullying is the way children deal with things? This is not true at all. Bullying is the way SOME children and SOME adults deal with things. It's about the person, not the age. And your attitude encourages it.

You can address bullying with education and consequences. Why do you act so fucking helpless?

Blockhead

scb wrote:

Why do you keep insisting that bullying is the way children deal with things? This is not true at all. Bullying is the way SOME children and SOME adults deal with things. It's about the person, not the age. And your attitude encourages it.

You can address bullying with education and consequences. Why do you act so fucking helpless?

Because it is the way children deal with differences, they lack the maturity, so they tend to make fun, etc.
The problem is you people keep stretching the definition of bullying to where you can justify your comments. How does my attitude encourage it??? Your the one whos acting helpless, like bullying is a new thing.

haffajappa

scb wrote:

Why do you keep insisting that bullying is the way children deal with things? This is not true at all. Bullying is the way SOME children and SOME adults deal with things. It's about the person, not the age. And your attitude encourages it.

You can address bullying with education and consequences. Why do you act so fucking helpless?

Maybe it's the way heidijam deals with things?

gimmesometruth27

HeidiJam wrote:

scb wrote:

Why do you keep insisting that bullying is the way children deal with things? This is not true at all. Bullying is the way SOME children and SOME adults deal with things. It's about the person, not the age. And your attitude encourages it.

You can address bullying with education and consequences. Why do you act so fucking helpless?

Because it is the way children deal with differences, they lack the maturity, so they tend to make fun, etc.
The problem is you people keep stretching the definition of bullying to where you can justify your comments. How does my attitude encourage it??? Your the one whos acting helpless, like bullying is a new thing.

picking on kids and belittling them is NOT working out differences, if anything it is projecting whatever issues and insecurities the bully has onto the victims. bullies have been known to display issues such as animal cruelty and abuse as well, so it is not working out differences, it is causing differences.

your attitude of "its normal" and "its natural" and "it is how kids work things out" are completely nonsensical and contributes to the problem by burying your head in the sand saying "fuck it there is no other way".

Blockhead

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

picking on kids and belittling them is NOT working out differences, if anything it is projecting whatever issues and insecurities the bully has onto the victims. bullies have been known to display issues such as animal cruelty and abuse as well, so it is not working out differences, it is causing differences.

your attitude of "its normal" and "its natural" and "it is how kids work things out" are completely nonsensical and contributes to the problem by burying your head in the sand saying "fuck it there is no other way".

LOL, as opposed to your attitude of "Bullying" leads to suicide and kids getting lit on fire... Should we ban /punish anybody that hurts your feelings, because that what you make it sound like. Your definition of bullying has ranged from intimidation, staring to arson and suicide. Well if the latter is what you are using to define bullying then I am in agreeance with everybody. But if you include poking fun, and starting in your definition then that is why I am disagree with all of you. And for all of those labeling me a pro-bully, please quote for me where i said I was for bullying??? Ill be waiting.

inmytree

HeidiJam wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

picking on kids and belittling them is NOT working out differences, if anything it is projecting whatever issues and insecurities the bully has onto the victims. bullies have been known to display issues such as animal cruelty and abuse as well, so it is not working out differences, it is causing differences.

your attitude of "its normal" and "its natural" and "it is how kids work things out" are completely nonsensical and contributes to the problem by burying your head in the sand saying "fuck it there is no other way".

LOL, as opposed to your attitude of "Bullying" leads to suicide and kids getting lit on fire... Should we ban /punish anybody that hurts your feelings, because that what you make it sound like. Your definition of bullying has ranged from intimidation, staring to arson and suicide. Well if the latter is what you are using to define bullying then I am in agreeance with everybody. But if you include poking fun, and starting in your definition then that is why I am disagree with all of you. And for all of those labeling me a pro-bully, please quote for me where i said I was for bullying??? Ill be waiting.

who, other that you, included "poking fun" in this conversation...?

you don't seem to understand the words that folks write...

haffajappa

HeidiJam wrote:

And for all of those labeling me a pro-bully, please quote for me where i said I was for bullying??? Ill be waiting.

HeidiJam wrote:

Its acutally a good character builder and offers the first stages where you stand up for your self or beliefs. ...Its a part of childhood development. People need to quit making it a bigger issue than it is.

right after you called me a clown and before you called me a 'pusscake'

FiveB247x

After reading this thread in more depth, I think some adults need to work on "bullying" more than kids..haha

But seriously, seems like there's some communication or definition confusions. I don't think HeidiJam is actually saying to ignore the problem, but more so to the point that how much can we really stop kids from acting like just that, kids? Of course there's some invisible line in the sand where kids or adults take things beyond the norm, and everyone can teach their own kids the right way to act towards others, but it doesn't always stick or work out that way. In terms of the examples of suicide or similar, I don't think in anything in life you can base a law or rule of thumb on extreme examples as it is very, very skewed. Lastly, and I already threw my 2 cents in a few pages back, but at what point do things like bullying over protect people compared to simply teaching humans to act like decent human beings?? Seems like all these protective measures we have in society don't really aim to hit the mark we should be targeting.

_

HeidiJam wrote:

scb wrote:

Why do you keep insisting that bullying is the way children deal with things? This is not true at all. Bullying is the way SOME children and SOME adults deal with things. It's about the person, not the age. And your attitude encourages it.

You can address bullying with education and consequences. Why do you act so fucking helpless?

Because it is the way children deal with differences, they lack the maturity, so they tend to make fun, etc.
The problem is you people keep stretching the definition of bullying to where you can justify your comments. How does my attitude encourage it??? Your the one whos acting helpless, like bullying is a new thing.

What the fuck are you talking about? :? How am I acting like bullying is a new thing or acting helpless? And you say people have stretched the definition of bullying, yet you haven't defined it. So please enlighten us with your definition of bullying. And then demonstrate how children - all children and no adults, as you imply - deal with differences in that way. I never dealt with differences by bullying. Did you? And your attitude encourages it because it is dismissive and portrays bullying as a normal, reasonable behavior. People are saying that children should be taught better ways to deal with their differences and you have argued with them as if that's not possible or even desireable. Do your children still shit their pants, or did you just tell yourself that this is the way children behave and not teach them better ways to deal with their bowel movements?

_

haffajappa wrote:

scb wrote:

Why do you keep insisting that bullying is the way children deal with things? This is not true at all. Bullying is the way SOME children and SOME adults deal with things. It's about the person, not the age. And your attitude encourages it.

You can address bullying with education and consequences. Why do you act so fucking helpless?

Maybe it's the way heidijam deals with things?

I think so. Seems to be a theme in every thread - act helpless and blame others.

_

HeidiJam wrote:

gimmesometruth27 wrote:

picking on kids and belittling them is NOT working out differences, if anything it is projecting whatever issues and insecurities the bully has onto the victims. bullies have been known to display issues such as animal cruelty and abuse as well, so it is not working out differences, it is causing differences.

your attitude of "its normal" and "its natural" and "it is how kids work things out" are completely nonsensical and contributes to the problem by burying your head in the sand saying "fuck it there is no other way".

LOL, as opposed to your attitude of "Bullying" leads to suicide and kids getting lit on fire... Should we ban /punish anybody that hurts your feelings, because that what you make it sound like. Your definition of bullying has ranged from intimidation, staring to arson and suicide. Well if the latter is what you are using to define bullying then I am in agreeance with everybody. But if you include poking fun, and starting in your definition then that is why I am disagree with all of you. And for all of those labeling me a pro-bully, please quote for me where i said I was for bullying??? Ill be waiting.

I hope if one of your kids is ever lit on fire or commits suicide because of bullying you'll come back here and share your perspective with us then.

_

scb wrote:

HeidiJam wrote:

catefrances wrote:

i never said you did.

but i have to ask... what is fairly common?? bullying or the fact that it builds character??

so because bullying is inevitable we should in your opinion do what????

and no being bullied as an adult doesnt youre weak it means the bully isnt mature enough to be an adult. it means they lack the tools to deal with a situation unless they resort to inappropriate behaviour. bullying is always the fault of the bully NOT their target.

Bullying is fairly common.
You are right, the bullying adult is incapable of dealing with things maturly,I agree with that statement. I meant that if you are an adult you should be smart/mature enough to not leat it bother you. YOu should know it is simlply insecurities/jelously of the bully.

So what about bullying in the form of stalking or domestic violence? Victims should just be smart/mature enough to not let it bother them? Builds character and people shouldn't see it as a problem and go tattle and we should end all our pusscake laws against it?

You haven't answered my question, by the way.

FiveB247x

Scb, these are extreme examples and not really "bullying". I don't fully agree with HeidiJam's comments, but your "examples" are not the norm by any means of the imagination.

_

FiveB247x wrote:

Scb, these are extreme examples and not really "bullying". I don't fully agree with HeidiJam's comments, but your "examples" are not the norm by any means of the imagination.

How so? Domestic violence and stalking are quite prevalent and just because the people involved are (presumably) not kids doesn't mean it doesn't count as bullying.

I Googled the definition of bullying and here's the first thing that came up:

"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."

This definition includes three important components:

1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.
2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

Stalking and domestic fit that description. And I can post all kinds of prevalence data if you'd like.