"Bullied"

DreamOfAngels

catefrances wrote:

DreamOfAngels wrote:

My child was apologizing later for kicking this girl but she couldn't breath! I don't encourage treating people disrespectfully in return for their behavior but I did tell her that if someone is trying to drown her she should kick as hard as she can to survive. Hmmph...

did you child apologise on her own volition? or was it coerced from her by some clueless adult???

no way in hell would i have supported an apologise to this bully who tried to drown my child.

Oh goodness. No, she didn't apologize to the girl trying to drown her and I didn't ask her to. She was apologizing to me that she kicked the other girl. She was trying to say that she knew kicking other people was not appropriate behavior and I responded with - kick as hard as you want in a situation like this! So my child is treated like this and yet her reaction was that she felt bad she kicked someone...

catefrances

HeidiJam wrote:

#1. Staring at a kid is not a crime, just because you use the term evil eyes pericing her soul, does not matter... Just because someone does something that annoyies you, does not give you permission to cast them out as evil or to tell the authorities. Its an inconveneince.
#2. If the school chose not to do anything (which was the correct decision) then you as a parent should have taken it upon your self talk to the other childs parents. I am not saying that is the end all be all of solutions, but if your child is unable to diffuse the situation, then you need to, even if that means being a "bully" your self.
Bullying will always happens because kids don't know how to act towards different things...
And please don't be the one blaming suicide on Bullying.

staring like this child was doing and putting themselves between their chosen target and the play equipment is intimidation... which no matter which way you cut it IS bullying. and clearly it went beyond what you consider a benign act cause this 'non bully' tried to drown DOAs child.

what would you call it... youthful highjinks???

Blockhead

TriumphantAngel wrote:

the Father of the year award goes to..

not you.

considering 8% of all kids who are bullied try to commit suicide, i'd say it is a big issue.

good charachter builder you say? try telling that to the dead kids.

Great stat...
Please post the link to that, I hope they included everything that a child is going through, internal, external, home issues, genetics, into them committing suicide.
Which is impossible, so they lump their suicide into the bullying categorie.
Explain to me how bullying is a big deal when it happens in every grade of every school of every class in the world, yet we all managed not to committ suicide???

catefrances

HeidiJam wrote:

catefrances wrote:

i have never experienced bullying in my life. my character was built quite solid without it. and for you to say that bullying is a good character builder is just insane. to my mind you are saying children who are bullied... who 'allow' themselves to be bullied are weak and have no character(whatever the hell that means). and that is just not the case.

bullying is never okay, be in in the playground or the office and it should never be seen as just a part of growing up. this just keeps the cycle going.

I never said you HAVE to experience bullying to build character, But it is fairly common.
I never said bullying is Okay, I said it is inevitable, it will always happen because kids aren't mature about differences and catagorize themselves.
If you are an adult and you allow your self to be bullied then yes your are weak...

i never said you did.

but i have to ask... what is fairly common?? bullying or the fact that it builds character??

so because bullying is inevitable we should in your opinion do what????

and no being bullied as an adult doesnt youre weak it means the bully isnt mature enough to be an adult. it means they lack the tools to deal with a situation unless they resort to inappropriate behaviour. bullying is always the fault of the bully NOT their target.

Blockhead

catefrances wrote:

HeidiJam wrote:

#1. Staring at a kid is not a crime, just because you use the term evil eyes pericing her soul, does not matter... Just because someone does something that annoyies you, does not give you permission to cast them out as evil or to tell the authorities. Its an inconveneince.
#2. If the school chose not to do anything (which was the correct decision) then you as a parent should have taken it upon your self talk to the other childs parents. I am not saying that is the end all be all of solutions, but if your child is unable to diffuse the situation, then you need to, even if that means being a "bully" your self.
Bullying will always happens because kids don't know how to act towards different things...
And please don't be the one blaming suicide on Bullying.

staring like this child was doing and putting themselves between their chosen target and the play equipment is intimidation... which no matter which way you cut it IS bullying. and clearly it went beyond what you consider a benign act cause this 'non bully' tried to drown DOAs child.

what would you call it... youthful highjinks???

SO now intimidation is now bullying??? So should sports teams not allowed to do things that intidimate other teams, What happens if somone intimidates your simply because they are bigger than you, is that bullying???
So an exteme case (story) means we need to stop all forms of intimidation or staring because this one case lead to some messed up kid trying to drown another kid???

catefrances

HeidiJam wrote:

TriumphantAngel wrote:

the Father of the year award goes to..

not you.

considering 8% of all kids who are bullied try to commit suicide, i'd say it is a big issue.

good charachter builder you say? try telling that to the dead kids.

Great stat...
Please post the link to that, I hope they included everything that a child is going through, internal, external, home issues, genetics, into them committing suicide.
Which is impossible, so they lump their suicide into the bullying categorie.
Explain to me how bullying is a big deal when it happens in every grade of every school of every class in the world, yet we all managed not to committ suicide???

well i can only tell you why i managed not to commit suicide.

cause i was NEVER bullied.

justam

Heidijam, you have NO sense if you can't understand how serious this issue can be.

In the state of Florida, they have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. They don't allow it at all. They suspend the bullies and then that's the end of it.

It's so much better than places like New York where the person who gets in trouble is the student who dares to stand up for himself when he's BEING bullied. Yeah. Put your macho head around that! If a child hits another child because he's being harrassed in NY, he gets suspended. So, your attitude wouldn't work in a school situation like that.

The best thing for non-bullies is a place where the administration doesn't tolerate the bullying at all. :geek:

And P.S. this law apparently came about in Florida because of some some gun action at some school. :?

catefrances

HeidiJam wrote:

catefrances wrote:

HeidiJam wrote:

#1. Staring at a kid is not a crime, just because you use the term evil eyes pericing her soul, does not matter... Just because someone does something that annoyies you, does not give you permission to cast them out as evil or to tell the authorities. Its an inconveneince.
#2. If the school chose not to do anything (which was the correct decision) then you as a parent should have taken it upon your self talk to the other childs parents. I am not saying that is the end all be all of solutions, but if your child is unable to diffuse the situation, then you need to, even if that means being a "bully" your self.
Bullying will always happens because kids don't know how to act towards different things...
And please don't be the one blaming suicide on Bullying.

staring like this child was doing and putting themselves between their chosen target and the play equipment is intimidation... which no matter which way you cut it IS bullying. and clearly it went beyond what you consider a benign act cause this 'non bully' tried to drown DOAs child.

what would you call it... youthful highjinks???

SO now intimidation is now bullying??? So should sports teams not allowed to do things that intidimate other teams, What happens if somone intimidates your simply because they are bigger than you, is that bullying???
So an exteme case (story) means we need to stop all forms of intimidation or staring because this one case lead to some messed up kid trying to drown another kid???

yes intimidation is bullying... what would you call it... a loving embrace???

DreamOfAngels

HeidiJam wrote:

#1. Staring at a kid is not a crime, just because you use the term evil eyes pericing her soul, does not matter... Just because someone does something that annoyies you, does not give you permission to cast them out as evil or to tell the authorities. Its an inconveneince.
#2. If the school chose not to do anything (which was the correct decision) then you as a parent should have taken it upon your self talk to the other childs parents. I am not saying that is the end all be all of solutions, but if your child is unable to diffuse the situation, then you need to, even if that means being a "bully" your self.
Bullying will always happens because kids don't know how to act towards different things...
And please don't be the one blaming suicide on Bullying.

Ok... my point about the evil eyes,etc. is that the girl wasn't doing anything truly punishable prior to trying to drown my child. You were saying that if parents had a clue then we would know what is going on with our kids and we would be able to avoid bullying in the future. The school actually has a no-bullying policy. Kids can be expelled for it - hence "telling the authorities" that my child was being bullied. I was trying to say - she went straight from stupid "annoying" stuff that I dealt with by counseling my child on how to have tough skin and how to turn her cheek AND I asked the teachers to keep an eye out for this kid because it was continuing... I had no reason to believe the next act by this kid would be drowning. If I knew that was coming then yes I would I have made contact with the parents on my own. Geez.

Oh, and the suicide thing... I said "leads some". Which is fact. Thank you. I'm done now.

Blockhead

catefrances wrote:

i never said you did.

but i have to ask... what is fairly common?? bullying or the fact that it builds character??

so because bullying is inevitable we should in your opinion do what????

and no being bullied as an adult doesnt youre weak it means the bully isnt mature enough to be an adult. it means they lack the tools to deal with a situation unless they resort to inappropriate behaviour. bullying is always the fault of the bully NOT their target.

Bullying is fairly common.
You are right, the bullying adult is incapable of dealing with things maturly,I agree with that statement. I meant that if you are an adult you should be smart/mature enough to not leat it bother you. YOu should know it is simlply insecurities/jelously of the bully.

catefrances

DreamOfAngels wrote:

catefrances wrote:

DreamOfAngels wrote:

My child was apologizing later for kicking this girl but she couldn't breath! I don't encourage treating people disrespectfully in return for their behavior but I did tell her that if someone is trying to drown her she should kick as hard as she can to survive. Hmmph...

did you child apologise on her own volition? or was it coerced from her by some clueless adult???

no way in hell would i have supported an apologise to this bully who tried to drown my child.

Oh goodness. No, she didn't apologize to the girl trying to drown her and I didn't ask her to. She was apologizing to me that she kicked the other girl. She was trying to say that she knew kicking other people was not appropriate behavior and I responded with - kick as hard as you want in a situation like this! So my child is treated like this and yet her reaction was that she felt bad she kicked someone...

:thumbup: to both you and you daughter.

gimmesometruth27

HeidiJam wrote:

TriumphantAngel wrote:

the Father of the year award goes to..

not you.

considering 8% of all kids who are bullied try to commit suicide, i'd say it is a big issue.

good charachter builder you say? try telling that to the dead kids.

Great stat...
Please post the link to that, I hope they included everything that a child is going through, internal, external, home issues, genetics, into them committing suicide.
Which is impossible, so they lump their suicide into the bullying categorie.
Explain to me how bullying is a big deal when it happens in every grade of every school of every class in the world, yet we all managed not to committ suicide???

this happened near my house. no fucking excuse for this. oh wait, should megan meier have just sucked it up and gotten over it??
http://hitsusa.com/blog/317/megan-meier-suicide/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Megan_Meier
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3882520&page=1

TriumphantAngel

HeidiJam wrote:

TriumphantAngel wrote:

the Father of the year award goes to..

not you.

considering 8% of all kids who are bullied try to commit suicide, i'd say it is a big issue.

good charachter builder you say? try telling that to the dead kids.

Great stat...
Please post the link to that, I hope they included everything that a child is going through, internal, external, home issues, genetics, into them committing suicide.
Which is impossible, so they lump their suicide into the bullying categorie.
Explain to me how bullying is a big deal when it happens in every grade of every school of every class in the world, yet we all managed not to committ suicide???

so bullying to you is not a big deal?

surely you can see there are varying degrees of bullying that people might come across. being bullied once for an example might not have the same effect as if it happened all day every day would it?

i'm still not convinced you are not just sitting back laughing your ass of at people trying to debate with you. some of the things you say are just mind boggling.

DreamOfAngels

I lied. I have two more things.
Intimidation is bullying.

1. Here is dictionary.com for bully:
bul·ly1    /ˈbʊli/ Show Spelled [bool-ee] Show IPA noun, plural -lies, verb, -lied, -ly·ing, adjective, interjection
–noun
1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2. Archaic . a man hired to do violence.
3. Obsolete . a pimp; procurer.
4. Obsolete . good friend; good fellow.
5. Obsolete . sweetheart; darling.
–verb (used with object)
6. to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.

2. Training opportunities
I haven't participated in these but thought i would share these training opportunities in case you would like to learn more:
http://www.ncpc.org/training/training-topics/bullying-intimidation

Bullying and Intimidation
Professional training from the National Crime Prevention Council

Bullying Today: What You Can Do
Participants will learn what bullying is in its many forms, myths about bullying, how widespread bullying is, characteristics of both bullies and victims, and effects of bullying on victims and bystanders. This session includes promising prevention and intervention strategies and programs, and will look at how using research-based strategies can make bullying prevention more effective.

Audience: Adults
Topics: Bullying and conflict management
Length: Two to four hours

Here is a PowerPoint if you aren't able to make the in-person training:
http://www.ncpc.org/training/powerpoint-trainings/bullying-whats-new-and-what-to-do.ppt/view

catefrances

HeidiJam wrote:

catefrances wrote:

i never said you did.

but i have to ask... what is fairly common?? bullying or the fact that it builds character??

so because bullying is inevitable we should in your opinion do what????

and no being bullied as an adult doesnt youre weak it means the bully isnt mature enough to be an adult. it means they lack the tools to deal with a situation unless they resort to inappropriate behaviour. bullying is always the fault of the bully NOT their target.

Bullying is fairly common.
You are right, the bullying adult is incapable of dealing with things maturly,I agree with that statement. I meant that if you are an adult you should be smart/mature enough to not leat it bother you. YOu should know it is simlply insecurities/jelously of the bully.

bullying is fairly common because of attitudes like yours.

and yes we grown ups do know why a bully acts so, however that doesnt mean we should just 'not let it bother us' or that after consistent bullying we even can.

Blockhead

So when i was in grade school and was intimidated by some teachers I should have reported them for bullying, since well, i felt intimidated by them... You can't put a law on feelings, some people are intimidated by things that others are not. Where do we draw that line???
I love this era of good feelings that we live in where no one can even tease somebody without a lawsuit or law being established because someone got their feelings hurt.
This is why society is the way it is today, but itss people like you who think the world revolves around YOU and YOUR feelings should be higher than what the issue really is. We are a nation full of full grown pussies and it shows, especially on this board.
I guess we should ban alcohol right, since it causes abuse, deaths, suicides, etc. And may i add much more than bullying does... So why isn't alcohol agains the law???
Boy do you guys reach.
There are exteme cases, but please don't turn this into "swine flu" type hype. Where we all need anti-bully shots.

Blockhead

catefrances wrote:

bullying is fairly common because of attitudes like yours.

and yes we grown ups do know why a bully acts so, however that doesnt mean we should just 'not let it bother us' or that after consistent bullying we even can.

You are smarter than this... Bully is fairly common because we are talking about kids, children do not know how to deal with differences and insecurities, so they take it out on other kids... You can't stop it, you maybe be able to stop it out of schools but, that doesn't stop the problem, and i can see it being much more of a problem if kids decide to be bullies outside of school, when no one is around... My attitude is simply quit making laws because something does not agree with your emotions or feelings. Simply banning everything that hurts our feelings will make us a society of weak faries. WHich we already have, so thank you.

FiveB247x

On one hand, I simply feel it is society's over-protection of people in the form of emotional stigma. I agree a bit with HeidiJam in that respect, kids are always cruel or pick on others - doesn't make it right, but attempting to remove it probably does more harm to society as a whole than the simple act of "bullying". Also, as society changes, so do methods and means... so there's new ways to harass or bully, which simply exponentially makes everything worse. When I was younger, people pushed others around or stole lunch money, nowadays they have a laundry list of areas to carry such things out, which includes technologies like the internet. The envelope is always being pushed. And in terms of naming victims of suicide or similar, not to sound cold or something, but is this not a reflection of society's constant need to try and make this fake pro-typical version of children nowadays? And at what costs?? Everyone's a winner in little league, everyone is special, etc... it's all complete and utter nonsense we're feeding into kids heads..and if they don't fit the cookie cutter mold, it compounds the poor results... depression, suicide, social issues, etc. Anyways, at what point do these types of issues simply boil down to society's influence and indoctrination of people more so than simply kids doing some act? It's a small sampling of the greater core issue. On the other hand, I do feel for kids who are on the opposite end of such things because things are so greatly out of whack. In sum though, I do feel enacting over-protective measures more greatly screws up society as a whole compared to the bullying. Terms like "hate crime" or similar are merely made up ideas cause we want to enforce tolerance and equality when many simply are dumb and can't accept it. A crime is a crime no matter who or what reasons it's carried out.

_

Paul David wrote:

if that's your attitude on it, then no, in fact, you didn't experience it.

HeidiJam wrote:

justam wrote:

Just because "bullying has been going on since forever" does not mean it needs to continue. It's ugly in all it's forms.

Why don't you feel compassion for people who are treated badly?

I do feel compassion for people who are treated badly, but being bullied is pretty simplistic. Its a growing pain that almost all kids experience. I know i did...

I've made this exact same comment to this exact same person in other threads about other issues. Seems to be a theme. Though, I believe that he probably does have lots of experience with bullying - as the bully.

haffajappa

HeidiJam wrote:

Dude, you are a clown...
if you knew anything about parenting or being a parent, you wouldn't make such a stupid comment.
If you are involved in your child's life, you will not have children coming home with black eyes or broken bones out of nowhere. Bullying is a progressive thing, and if you had a clue on being a parent you would/should know when and how to prevent further bullying. Its alot apart our evolutions as children, call it survival of the fittest aif you will. We all have probably experienced bullying in some stage, it happens to all of us.. Its acutally a good character builder and offers the first stages where you stand up for your self or beliefs. THere are extremes in all cases, but bullying is almost unavoidable. Its a part of childhood development. People need to quit making it a bigger issue than it is. Bullying would also be ineffective if parents were move involved in the daily lives of their children, its not hard to tell when something is wrong with your kid...
Quit being such a pusscake.

Ahah, i just laughed out loud...
You just called me a clown after a statement like that!
You clearly don't mind bullying, so what's wrong with my assumption that you wouldn't care? I don't find my comment so stupid... Based on what you've written, if one of your kids came home with a black eye it sounds like you'd slap 'em on the back and say it'll build their character...

Or is it just character building when its not your child?