My child was apologizing later for kicking this girl but she couldn't breath! I don't encourage treating people disrespectfully in return for their behavior but I did tell her that if someone is trying to drown her she should kick as hard as she can to survive. Hmmph...
did you child apologise on her own volition? or was it coerced from her by some clueless adult???
no way in hell would i have supported an apologise to this bully who tried to drown my child.
Oh goodness. No, she didn't apologize to the girl trying to drown her and I didn't ask her to. She was apologizing to me that she kicked the other girl. She was trying to say that she knew kicking other people was not appropriate behavior and I responded with - kick as hard as you want in a situation like this! So my child is treated like this and yet her reaction was that she felt bad she kicked someone...
:thumbup: to both you and you daughter.
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considering 8% of all kids who are bullied try to commit suicide, i'd say it is a big issue.
good charachter builder you say? try telling that to the dead kids.
Great stat...
Please post the link to that, I hope they included everything that a child is going through, internal, external, home issues, genetics, into them committing suicide.
Which is impossible, so they lump their suicide into the bullying categorie.
Explain to me how bullying is a big deal when it happens in every grade of every school of every class in the world, yet we all managed not to committ suicide???
considering 8% of all kids who are bullied try to commit suicide, i'd say it is a big issue.
good charachter builder you say? try telling that to the dead kids.
Great stat...
Please post the link to that, I hope they included everything that a child is going through, internal, external, home issues, genetics, into them committing suicide.
Which is impossible, so they lump their suicide into the bullying categorie.
Explain to me how bullying is a big deal when it happens in every grade of every school of every class in the world, yet we all managed not to committ suicide???
so bullying to you is not a big deal?
surely you can see there are varying degrees of bullying that people might come across. being bullied once for an example might not have the same effect as if it happened all day every day would it?
i'm still not convinced you are not just sitting back laughing your ass of at people trying to debate with you. some of the things you say are just mind boggling.
I lied. I have two more things.
Intimidation is bullying.
1. Here is dictionary.com for bully:
bul·ly1 /ˈbʊli/ Show Spelled [bool-ee] Show IPA noun, plural -lies, verb, -lied, -ly·ing, adjective, interjection
–noun
1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2. Archaic . a man hired to do violence.
3. Obsolete . a pimp; procurer.
4. Obsolete . good friend; good fellow.
5. Obsolete . sweetheart; darling.
–verb (used with object)
6. to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
Bullying and Intimidation
Professional training from the National Crime Prevention Council
Bullying Today: What You Can Do
Participants will learn what bullying is in its many forms, myths about bullying, how widespread bullying is, characteristics of both bullies and victims, and effects of bullying on victims and bystanders. This session includes promising prevention and intervention strategies and programs, and will look at how using research-based strategies can make bullying prevention more effective.
Audience: Adults
Topics: Bullying and conflict management
Length: Two to four hours
but i have to ask... what is fairly common?? bullying or the fact that it builds character??
so because bullying is inevitable we should in your opinion do what????
and no being bullied as an adult doesnt youre weak it means the bully isnt mature enough to be an adult. it means they lack the tools to deal with a situation unless they resort to inappropriate behaviour. bullying is always the fault of the bully NOT their target.
Bullying is fairly common.
You are right, the bullying adult is incapable of dealing with things maturly,I agree with that statement. I meant that if you are an adult you should be smart/mature enough to not leat it bother you. YOu should know it is simlply insecurities/jelously of the bully.
bullying is fairly common because of attitudes like yours.
and yes we grown ups do know why a bully acts so, however that doesnt mean we should just 'not let it bother us' or that after consistent bullying we even can.
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So when i was in grade school and was intimidated by some teachers I should have reported them for bullying, since well, i felt intimidated by them... You can't put a law on feelings, some people are intimidated by things that others are not. Where do we draw that line???
I love this era of good feelings that we live in where no one can even tease somebody without a lawsuit or law being established because someone got their feelings hurt.
This is why society is the way it is today, but itss people like you who think the world revolves around YOU and YOUR feelings should be higher than what the issue really is. We are a nation full of full grown pussies and it shows, especially on this board.
I guess we should ban alcohol right, since it causes abuse, deaths, suicides, etc. And may i add much more than bullying does... So why isn't alcohol agains the law???
Boy do you guys reach.
There are exteme cases, but please don't turn this into "swine flu" type hype. Where we all need anti-bully shots.
bullying is fairly common because of attitudes like yours.
and yes we grown ups do know why a bully acts so, however that doesnt mean we should just 'not let it bother us' or that after consistent bullying we even can.
You are smarter than this... Bully is fairly common because we are talking about kids, children do not know how to deal with differences and insecurities, so they take it out on other kids... You can't stop it, you maybe be able to stop it out of schools but, that doesn't stop the problem, and i can see it being much more of a problem if kids decide to be bullies outside of school, when no one is around... My attitude is simply quit making laws because something does not agree with your emotions or feelings. Simply banning everything that hurts our feelings will make us a society of weak faries. WHich we already have, so thank you.
On one hand, I simply feel it is society's over-protection of people in the form of emotional stigma. I agree a bit with HeidiJam in that respect, kids are always cruel or pick on others - doesn't make it right, but attempting to remove it probably does more harm to society as a whole than the simple act of "bullying". Also, as society changes, so do methods and means... so there's new ways to harass or bully, which simply exponentially makes everything worse. When I was younger, people pushed others around or stole lunch money, nowadays they have a laundry list of areas to carry such things out, which includes technologies like the internet. The envelope is always being pushed. And in terms of naming victims of suicide or similar, not to sound cold or something, but is this not a reflection of society's constant need to try and make this fake pro-typical version of children nowadays? And at what costs?? Everyone's a winner in little league, everyone is special, etc... it's all complete and utter nonsense we're feeding into kids heads..and if they don't fit the cookie cutter mold, it compounds the poor results... depression, suicide, social issues, etc. Anyways, at what point do these types of issues simply boil down to society's influence and indoctrination of people more so than simply kids doing some act? It's a small sampling of the greater core issue. On the other hand, I do feel for kids who are on the opposite end of such things because things are so greatly out of whack. In sum though, I do feel enacting over-protective measures more greatly screws up society as a whole compared to the bullying. Terms like "hate crime" or similar are merely made up ideas cause we want to enforce tolerance and equality when many simply are dumb and can't accept it. A crime is a crime no matter who or what reasons it's carried out.
CONservative governMENt
Our government is the potent, the omnipresent teacher. For good or for ill, it teaches the whole people by its example. Crime is contagious. If the government becomes a law-breaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy. - Louis Brandeis
Just because "bullying has been going on since forever" does not mean it needs to continue. It's ugly in all it's forms.
Why don't you feel compassion for people who are treated badly?
I do feel compassion for people who are treated badly, but being bullied is pretty simplistic. Its a growing pain that almost all kids experience. I know i did...
I've made this exact same comment to this exact same person in other threads about other issues. Seems to be a theme. Though, I believe that he probably does have lots of experience with bullying - as the bully.
Dude, you are a clown...
if you knew anything about parenting or being a parent, you wouldn't make such a stupid comment.
If you are involved in your child's life, you will not have children coming home with black eyes or broken bones out of nowhere. Bullying is a progressive thing, and if you had a clue on being a parent you would/should know when and how to prevent further bullying. Its alot apart our evolutions as children, call it survival of the fittest aif you will. We all have probably experienced bullying in some stage, it happens to all of us.. Its acutally a good character builder and offers the first stages where you stand up for your self or beliefs. THere are extremes in all cases, but bullying is almost unavoidable. Its a part of childhood development. People need to quit making it a bigger issue than it is. Bullying would also be ineffective if parents were move involved in the daily lives of their children, its not hard to tell when something is wrong with your kid...
Quit being such a pusscake.
Ahah, i just laughed out loud...
You just called me a clown after a statement like that!
You clearly don't mind bullying, so what's wrong with my assumption that you wouldn't care? I don't find my comment so stupid... Based on what you've written, if one of your kids came home with a black eye it sounds like you'd slap 'em on the back and say it'll build their character...
Or is it just character building when its not your child?
bullying is fairly common because of attitudes like yours.
and yes we grown ups do know why a bully acts so, however that doesnt mean we should just 'not let it bother us' or that after consistent bullying we even can.
You are smarter than this... Bully is fairly common because we are talking about kids, children do not know how to deal with differences and insecurities, so they take it out on other kids... You can't stop it, you maybe be able to stop it out of schools but, that doesn't stop the problem, and i can see it being much more of a problem if kids decide to be bullies outside of school, when no one is around... My attitude is simply quit making laws because something does not agree with your emotions or feelings. Simply banning everything that hurts our feelings will make us a society of weak faries. WHich we already have, so thank you.
i didnt say ban bullying... thatd be like banning punching. how could we possibly enforce that?? im saying call it every time it happens. tell the kids why it is unacceptable behaviour and never let it slide as inconsequential.
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I've made this exact same comment to this exact same person in other threads about other issues. Seems to be a theme. Though, I believe that he probably does have lots of experience with bullying - as the bully.
Typical comment around here, an emotional one... THe constant pampering around here shows me why our society is mess up. We live in a world where all kids get trophies, there are no winners or losers. And now we are trying to lump intimidation (a feeling) as bullying and a need for authorities to step in.
Hey SCB great generalization, I am glad that you flip that switch so easily. Wasn't it you who always tells me not to judge or generalize???
And yes i do have some experiend with bullying, I was the victim in 7th grade, i told the teachers and the principle. Nothing changed, and i ended up punching the kid in the face. Well that day i get a call at night from my homeroom teach, she said that Jeff (the bully) mom called and said her son came home with the black eye and he told her I hit him. The teachers and principle came to the conclusion that it was a closed matter, since i did tell them he was bullying me, and he stopped.
This place around here makes me laugh, i think in every thread that i have a differing opinion, i get a personal attack on me. That is cyber bullying!!! It seems many of you can not have an adult converstaion with someone of a differing opinion.
i didnt say ban bullying... thatd be like banning punching. how could we possibly enforce that?? im saying call it every time it happens. tell the kids why it is unacceptable behaviour and never let it slide as inconsequential.
I actually think kids know its an unacceptable, some just don't know how to deal with differences, but I do think that maybe bullying happens because the parents may encourage it, or the parents are even bullies themselves to their kids, and the kids emulate that behavior in school.
Typical comment around here, an emotional one... THe constant pampering around here shows me why our society is mess up. We live in a world where all kids get trophies, there are no winners or losers. And now we are trying to lump intimidation (a feeling) as bullying and a need for authorities to step in.
Hey SCB great generalization, I am glad that you flip that switch so easily. Wasn't it you who always tells me not to judge or generalize???
And yes i do have some experiend with bullying, I was the victim in 7th grade, i told the teachers and the principle. Nothing changed, and i ended up punching the kid in the face. Well that day i get a call at night from my homeroom teach, she said that Jeff (the bully) mom called and said her son came home with the black eye and he told her I hit him. The teachers and principle came to the conclusion that it was a closed matter, since i did tell them he was bullying me, and he stopped.
This place around here makes me laugh, i think in every thread that i have a differing opinion, i get a personal attack on me. That is cyber bullying!!! It seems many of you can not have an adult converstaion with someone of a differing opinion.
I've made this exact same comment to this exact same person in other threads about other issues. Seems to be a theme. Though, I believe that he probably does have lots of experience with bullying - as the bully.
Typical comment around here, an emotional one... THe constant pampering around here shows me why our society is mess up. We live in a world where all kids get trophies, there are no winners or losers. And now we are trying to lump intimidation (a feeling) as bullying and a need for authorities to step in.
Hey SCB great generalization, I am glad that you flip that switch so easily. Wasn't it you who always tells me not to judge or generalize???
And yes i do have some experiend with bullying, I was the victim in 7th grade, i told the teachers and the principle. Nothing changed, and i ended up punching the kid in the face. Well that day i get a call at night from my homeroom teach, she said that Jeff (the bully) mom called and said her son came home with the black eye and he told her I hit him. The teachers and principle came to the conclusion that it was a closed matter, since i did tell them he was bullying me, and he stopped.
This place around here makes me laugh, i think in every thread that i have a differing opinion, i get a personal attack on me. That is cyber bullying!!! It seems many of you can not have an adult converstaion with someone of a differing opinion.
theres a lot of generalising in your post. you assume that because some of us want bullies called on their behaviour that we are soft. now as i can only speak for myself, i will.
nothing aggravates me more than people fucking with me. it drives me insane. the reason it drives me insane is cause its unnecessary. it pisses me off when someone is antagonistic toward someone and when that someone retaliates the antagonstist cries foul.
as ive said before i was never bullied growing up. i believe this to be the case cause i never accepted someone havng a go at me just for the sake of it. i relished debate cause i knew it was a medium i could hold my own in. i knew i was intelliegent enough to talk down any confrontation and i was never part of a clique where i coudl be 'guilty by association. i floated through my school years with an indifference that i have no doubt showed people that whatever it was they cared to dish out just wouldnt hold water with me. plus there was that underlying sense of anger.
i do not pamper my kids and i never have. i teach them to stand up for themselves and others and neevr allow someone to stand over them, even if that someone is an adult. now cause im not with them at school im sure there are instances where this breaks down.. be it they attacking another student or them being attacked. all i can work with is what im aware of.
intimidation can not be dismissed as just as a feeling. especially considering this is how some governments run their foreign policies... kowtow to our demands or we will sanction you so your people suffer. tell me thats not bullying.
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i didnt say ban bullying... thatd be like banning punching. how could we possibly enforce that?? im saying call it every time it happens. tell the kids why it is unacceptable behaviour and never let it slide as inconsequential.
I actually think kids know its an unacceptable, some just don't know how to deal with differences, but I do think that maybe bullying happens because the parents may encourage it, or the parents are even bullies themselves to their kids, and the kids emulate that behavior in school.
oh you could be right about that. im sure there are some parents who are prideful of their hyper alpha kids lording it over the others. and yes theres no doubt that some bullies emulate their parents behaviour. they have no control at home so they seek to regain that lost control at school. and that is sad.
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I see a difference in bullying and what some will call "being picked on". Bullying is much more severe, such was the case with Jamie Nabozny and many others who end up fearing for their lives. I was picked on a time or two as an elementary school student by older students for no real reason other than I was a nice, well behaved person. However, it never turned physical (nor was it emotionally taxing) and it was nothing that had to be reported to teachers or administrators.
When someone's physical and/or emotional health is being affected, this is a classic symptom of bullying and it's certainly time to take measures to stop it. You can't ignore it; it will only escalate if you appear to tolerate the perpetrator(s).
United Center (Chicago): 8/24/09
Gibson Amphitheatre (Los Angeles): 10/7/09
I see a difference in bullying and what some will call "being picked on". Bullying is much more severe, such was the case with Jamie Nabozny and many others who end up fearing for their lives. I was picked on a time or two as an elementary school student by older students for no real reason other than I was a nice, well behaved person. However, it never turned physical (nor was it emotionally taxing) and it was nothing that had to be reported to teachers or administrators.
When someone's physical and/or emotional health is being affected, this is a classic symptom of bullying and it's certainly time to take measures to stop it. You can't ignore it; it will only escalate if you appear to tolerate the perpetrator(s).
so... where is the line drawn??
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I see a difference in bullying and what some will call "being picked on". Bullying is much more severe, such was the case with Jamie Nabozny and many others who end up fearing for their lives. I was picked on a time or two as an elementary school student by older students for no real reason other than I was a nice, well behaved person. However, it never turned physical (nor was it emotionally taxing) and it was nothing that had to be reported to teachers or administrators.
When someone's physical and/or emotional health is being affected, this is a classic symptom of bullying and it's certainly time to take measures to stop it. You can't ignore it; it will only escalate if you appear to tolerate the perpetrator(s).
so... where is the line drawn??
I'd say it's a case by case basis. If the victim feels threatened and his or her life is negatively altered in any way, then that's where you draw the line.
United Center (Chicago): 8/24/09
Gibson Amphitheatre (Los Angeles): 10/7/09
I see a difference in bullying and what some will call "being picked on". Bullying is much more severe, such was the case with Jamie Nabozny and many others who end up fearing for their lives. I was picked on a time or two as an elementary school student by older students for no real reason other than I was a nice, well behaved person. However, it never turned physical (nor was it emotionally taxing) and it was nothing that had to be reported to teachers or administrators.
When someone's physical and/or emotional health is being affected, this is a classic symptom of bullying and it's certainly time to take measures to stop it. You can't ignore it; it will only escalate if you appear to tolerate the perpetrator(s).
so... where is the line drawn??
I'd say it's a case by case basis. If the victim feels threatened and his or her life is negatively altered in any way, then that's where you draw the line.
i agree. i am never threatened by bullies... but there are some who arent as strong as me when it comes to dealing with intimidation. and though both i and they are bullied, i am more able to deal with it than they are so consequently though bullying happens in both instances, the way it is dealt with may absolve the bully from his actions purely based on the strength of their victim, you know?
truth be told i cant be bullied. ill laugh at you... tell you to fuck off and thats usually the end of it.
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truth be told i cant be bullied. ill laugh at you... tell you to fuck off and thats usually the end of it.
IMO that won't work for many serious bullies. Power and control and intimidation is the key and well, yes if there is a weaker victim to grab, sure... but not always. Some are focused on a particular person. Telling them to f off will get you killed. So here in my unofficial bully book, we have varying Bully levels 1)temporary bully - just a few years in school and grows out of it; 2) harmful but not dangerous bully - will hurt you but will transition to someone else if they walk by; 3) dangerous bully - will hurt you and doesn't want someone else.
IMO, you can laught at a level 1. You might be able to laugh at a level 2 unless he doesn't have other alternatives. You can't laught at a level 3 unless you are ready to face... the end.
Or, maybe I'm just weak but when it comes to a level 3.... yes, yes I am. Unless you are in that situation, don't say you wouldn't be too.
I've made this exact same comment to this exact same person in other threads about other issues. Seems to be a theme. Though, I believe that he probably does have lots of experience with bullying - as the bully.
Typical comment around here, an emotional one... THe constant pampering around here shows me why our society is mess up. We live in a world where all kids get trophies, there are no winners or losers. And now we are trying to lump intimidation (a feeling) as bullying and a need for authorities to step in.
Hey SCB great generalization, I am glad that you flip that switch so easily. Wasn't it you who always tells me not to judge or generalize???
And yes i do have some experiend with bullying, I was the victim in 7th grade, i told the teachers and the principle. Nothing changed, and i ended up punching the kid in the face. Well that day i get a call at night from my homeroom teach, she said that Jeff (the bully) mom called and said her son came home with the black eye and he told her I hit him. The teachers and principle came to the conclusion that it was a closed matter, since i did tell them he was bullying me, and he stopped.
This place around here makes me laugh, i think in every thread that i have a differing opinion, i get a personal attack on me. That is cyber bullying!!! It seems many of you can not have an adult converstaion with someone of a differing opinion.
My comment was not an emotional one or a generalization. I said I think you (specifically) were probably a bully. That's the opposite of generalization. And I don't know what constant pampering around here (presuming you mean this message board) you're talking about. Have you been pampering me all this time in the many adult conversations we have? Are you being pampered - or are you being bullied? Make up your mind; you're contradicting yourself.
I'm sorry you were the victim of bullying in 7th grade. Based on your story it sounds like he did not physically assault you, but you physically assaulted him - and described his behavior as bullying and turned him in to the authorities. Did you leave out important parts of the story or are you being incredibly hypocritical?
And I still agree that you have not had the bullying experiences of that some kids experience.
P.S. Have you provided that actual data yet on how common bullying is?
but i have to ask... what is fairly common?? bullying or the fact that it builds character??
so because bullying is inevitable we should in your opinion do what????
and no being bullied as an adult doesnt youre weak it means the bully isnt mature enough to be an adult. it means they lack the tools to deal with a situation unless they resort to inappropriate behaviour. bullying is always the fault of the bully NOT their target.
Bullying is fairly common.
You are right, the bullying adult is incapable of dealing with things maturly,I agree with that statement. I meant that if you are an adult you should be smart/mature enough to not leat it bother you. YOu should know it is simlply insecurities/jelously of the bully.
So what about bullying in the form of stalking or domestic violence? Victims should just be smart/mature enough to not let it bother them? Builds character and people shouldn't see it as a problem and go tattle and we should end all our pusscake laws against it?
truth be told i cant be bullied. ill laugh at you... tell you to fuck off and thats usually the end of it.
IMO that won't work for many serious bullies. Power and control and intimidation is the key and well, yes if there is a weaker victim to grab, sure... but not always. Some are focused on a particular person. Telling them to f off will get you killed. So here in my unofficial bully book, we have varying Bully levels 1)temporary bully - just a few years in school and grows out of it; 2) harmful but not dangerous bully - will hurt you but will transition to someone else if they walk by; 3) dangerous bully - will hurt you and doesn't want someone else.
IMO, you can laught at a level 1. You might be able to laugh at a level 2 unless he doesn't have other alternatives. You can't laught at a level 3 unless you are ready to face... the end.
Or, maybe I'm just weak but when it comes to a level 3.... yes, yes I am. Unless you are in that situation, don't say you wouldn't be too.
every situation is different. and the lengths some bullies will go to vary even within your level 3. imo not all level 3 bullies have to resort physical violence. psychological intimidation can be just as bad... and can still carry that air of violence.
you forgot the tagalong bully... who does it cause his/her mates do it. but when alone is as meek as a mouse.
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Burn Victim Michael Brewer Speaks Out Against Bullying
Boy Who Was Burned Calls Recovery 'Agony'
31 comments By JUJU CHANG, LIZ SINTAY, URSULA FAHY and SUZAN CLARKE
Aug. 23, 2010
The Florida teen who nearly died after friends allegedly doused him with rubbing alcohol and set him on fire in a dispute over a video game is speaking out against bullying.
Michael Brewer says any child who is being bullied should tell an adult what's going on before things escalate.
"If you try to" handle it "yourself, they are going to do something even worse …," the 15-year-old from Deerfield Beach told ABC News.
The Deerfield Beach Middle School student suffered second- and third-degree burns on more than two-thirds of his body after he was allegedly set ablaze on Oct. 12 in a disagreement over a $40 video game. Police charged three teens with second-degree attempted murder in the incident.
Michael spent weeks in a coma, which doctors induced to help him cope with the excruciating pain of his extensive burns. It was six weeks before he was able to tell investigators what happened.
'Somebody ... Got Me on Fire'
He told police that somebody "poured something on me and got me on fire. Then I started running and jumped in the pool."
Gravely injured, he was flown to a trauma unit.
"Michael certainly was at severe risk of dying," said Carl Schulman, a doctor at the University of Miami-Jackson Memorial Burn Center. "He could have had any one of a number of complications that could have led to his death in the early stages of his burn."
Brewer faced multiple surgeries for skin grafts, along with weeks of grueling physical therapy.
Those weeks were punctuated by a daily shower that Michael came to call "torture time."
"It stung really bad," he said, describing showering as "agony."
His mother, Valerie Brewer, remembers those moments.
"It was just incredible. We could hear him screaming all the way down the hallway," she said.
Michael said he was was comforted and inspired by the music of Ozzy Osbourne and the prayers of strangers, and the support of his family.
Michael's horrific case came to symbolize the evils of bullying. The country seemed to pull together for the Brewers as donations started flooding in. Spontaneous acts of kindess in the form of bake sales, car washes and celebrity events helped raise more than $300,000 -- enough to buy a new home in Michael's name and help pay for much of the boy's medical bills.
"It makes me feel great that all these people believe in me, kept me going," he said.
Teen Burned in Bullying Attack Has Nightmares
Valerie Brewer knew her son had been severely injured, but said she never really knew how bad his condition was at times.
"They kept it from me. We almost lost him several times: His kidneys started to fail; he had a problem with his heart. We were very lucky and I know it was his sheer will and determination to get better," she said.
Michael is now recovering. He jumped on a trampoline for therapy and tossing a baseball around helps stretch his scars. The new house got him away from the neighborhood bullies and he's making new friends, enjoying the back-to-school season, at a new school.
Despite those gains, physically and emotionally Michael is far from fully healed.
He has nightmares, which he doesn't remember when he wakes up.
"I know about them. He screams in the middle of the night. He sleeps through them," Valerie Brewer said. "It helps me a little to know he doesn't remember any of it."
Brewer urged people not to forget about what happened to her son and to other young victims of violence.
Denver Jarvis, Matthew Bent, and Jesus Mendez were charged with attempted second-degree murder in the attack upon Michael Brewer. The three suspects were 15 years old at the time of the incident, but they were charged as adults. All have pleaded not guilty.
Police say Brewer was attacked after he reported one of the accused to the police for allegedly attempting to steal a bicycle as payment for a $40 video game.
Jarvis is accused of splashing Michael with rubbing alcohol, and Mendez is accused of using a lighter to set the boy on fire.
Trust for Michael's Medical Care
Two younger boys who were present were not charged because police believed they were bystanders.
The Brewer family said in a statement that it wished to thank "all who donated time, care, well wishes or funds for Mikey's recovery."
To learn more about the trust that has been established for Michael Brewer's medical care, use the contact information below:
Valerie J. Brewer, Guardian for Michael Brewer, Jr.
c/o Brady & Brady, P.A.
350 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 300
Boca Raton, FL 33432
Phone: (561) 338-9256
E-mail: <!-- e --><a href="mailto:bradyandbradylaw@bellsouth.net">bradyandbradylaw@bellsouth.net</a><!-- e -->
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
I actually think kids know its an unacceptable, some just don't know how to deal with differences, but I do think that maybe bullying happens because the parents may encourage it, or the parents are even bullies themselves to their kids, and the kids emulate that behavior in school.
Just because there has always been bullying does not make it okay. If we lived in a world where we lived by the premise that "Well, it's always been this way so it must be okay" then the world would be a pretty shitty place!
As a kid we didn't have seat belts in the back seat of our car
My Grandad was given cigarettes during WW2 as part of his rations
All our waste used to go to the land fill
We used to rub coconut oil on our skin and bake ourselves in the sun
We know that these things are bad for us so we have done something about it. How is it any different to bullying?
I am absolutely aghast at the attitude of Heidijam. I'm really quite speechless reading this shit. Let me school you a bit:
I was always average on the popularity scale. Wasn't a geek, but certainly wasn't captain of the football team. However, just because I wasn't meek or labelled a loser, did not exempt me from being bullied. I honestly don't know what attracted these types to me, they just always did.
One guy in elementary school used to stalk me perpetually whenver he felt like it, threatening to kick my ass at any time, without provocation. I feared for my safety all the time.
One guy in high school, who was a good friend of mine in elementary up until something, really nothing, changed, and all of a sudden he was bullying me within my own group of friends. I was eventually ostracized from that group, as none of them had the balls to stand up to him. He would follow me home from school every fucking day, trying to get me to fight him. He would spit on me, push me around, threaten me, make fun of my disabled mother, the works.
I have never been a fighter, never will be. I could not bring myself to fight any of these guys out of my own principles (it may sound odd and egotistical, but I wasn't afraid for my safety in most cases, I was afraid for theirs-I once got into a fight-my first and last fight-with a guy and blacked out-I pulverized him and don't remember it-I vowed after that never to lay a hand on anyone again). But I paid the price.
I believe this was the direct cause of my depression and social anxiety issues that exist to this day, my drug and alcohol problems over the years, because I lacked the confidence to be in a situation where someone might not like me for me and may turn on me at any moment, so I fucking drank. And I drank.
For someone to be as ridiculously stupid as to say that bullying is not a big deal needs to be put in that situation for a month, a year, or a fucking decade.
Walk a mile. :evil:
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
how disgusting. while some will argue that this is not the norm, the issue is we have to make sure that this doesn't BECOME the norm. And ignoring it as heidi has suggested helps no one.
Gimli 1993
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
how disgusting. while some will argue that this is not the norm, the issue is we have to make sure that this doesn't BECOME the norm. And ignoring it as heidi has suggested helps no one.
it is definitely disgusting. i was bullied somewhat in elementary school by kids on my school bus that were a couple of years older than me. some of them had even failed a grade so they were an extra year older than me and naturally they were bigger and stronger than me. one day in 4th grade on the bus they were being particularly harsh and i snapped. i went after the ringleader, the biggest of all of them and i choked him with my hands. that prompted the other 4 of them to jump me and proceed to beat me pretty badly. had those kids not jumped in, i was going to beat that motherf@cker like ralphie in a christmas story. i had a few friends that jumped in and helped me and as the bus driver was breaking it up one of the bullies stabbed me in my left hand with a pencil. it left me with a horrible gash and a puncture wound in one of the muscles that controls the thumb. the pencil left a 1inch cut, which when you are in 4th grade, 1 inch is a pretty big gash to have on one of your hands. i ended up in the hospital having minor surgery to debried and close the wound and lucky for me i had no nerve damage. the kid who stabbed me got expelled and the other bullies were suspended from school and banned from the bus so they had to get rides to and from school. i was suspended from school for a week for choking the kid but due to doctor's orders i missed 3 or 4 days of school and ended up with what amounted to a one day suspension. i did hand threapy for a few weeks and i have no lasting damage other than the scar, which is still there even with a plastic surgeon taking care of the wound. i never felt safe knowing those kids were still living in my neighborhood and i used to see them all the time when i would ride my bike. it was not until i hit my growth spurt and started getting more popular in school due to athletics did i not get picked on or bullied. not one of those kids finished school, they all dropped out and last i heard, the ringleader went to jail for making and selling meth.
this kid in the video said it best when he said that "you can't fight back, the minute you do they will do something worse to you" and he is exactly right. i can say that with 100% certainty based on my experiences growing up.
"You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry." - Lincoln
Comments
:thumbup: to both you and you daughter.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
http://hitsusa.com/blog/317/megan-meier-suicide/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Megan_Meier
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3882520&page=1
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
surely you can see there are varying degrees of bullying that people might come across. being bullied once for an example might not have the same effect as if it happened all day every day would it?
i'm still not convinced you are not just sitting back laughing your ass of at people trying to debate with you. some of the things you say are just mind boggling.
Intimidation is bullying.
1. Here is dictionary.com for bully:
bul·ly1 /ˈbʊli/ Show Spelled [bool-ee] Show IPA noun, plural -lies, verb, -lied, -ly·ing, adjective, interjection
–noun
1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2. Archaic . a man hired to do violence.
3. Obsolete . a pimp; procurer.
4. Obsolete . good friend; good fellow.
5. Obsolete . sweetheart; darling.
–verb (used with object)
6. to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
2. Training opportunities
I haven't participated in these but thought i would share these training opportunities in case you would like to learn more:
http://www.ncpc.org/training/training-topics/bullying-intimidation
Bullying and Intimidation
Professional training from the National Crime Prevention Council
Bullying Today: What You Can Do
Participants will learn what bullying is in its many forms, myths about bullying, how widespread bullying is, characteristics of both bullies and victims, and effects of bullying on victims and bystanders. This session includes promising prevention and intervention strategies and programs, and will look at how using research-based strategies can make bullying prevention more effective.
Audience: Adults
Topics: Bullying and conflict management
Length: Two to four hours
Here is a PowerPoint if you aren't able to make the in-person training:
http://www.ncpc.org/training/powerpoint-trainings/bullying-whats-new-and-what-to-do.ppt/view
bullying is fairly common because of attitudes like yours.
and yes we grown ups do know why a bully acts so, however that doesnt mean we should just 'not let it bother us' or that after consistent bullying we even can.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I love this era of good feelings that we live in where no one can even tease somebody without a lawsuit or law being established because someone got their feelings hurt.
This is why society is the way it is today, but itss people like you who think the world revolves around YOU and YOUR feelings should be higher than what the issue really is. We are a nation full of full grown pussies and it shows, especially on this board.
I guess we should ban alcohol right, since it causes abuse, deaths, suicides, etc. And may i add much more than bullying does... So why isn't alcohol agains the law???
Boy do you guys reach.
There are exteme cases, but please don't turn this into "swine flu" type hype. Where we all need anti-bully shots.
Our government is the potent, the omnipresent teacher. For good or for ill, it teaches the whole people by its example. Crime is contagious. If the government becomes a law-breaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy. - Louis Brandeis
I've made this exact same comment to this exact same person in other threads about other issues. Seems to be a theme. Though, I believe that he probably does have lots of experience with bullying - as the bully.
Ahah, i just laughed out loud...
You just called me a clown after a statement like that!
You clearly don't mind bullying, so what's wrong with my assumption that you wouldn't care? I don't find my comment so stupid... Based on what you've written, if one of your kids came home with a black eye it sounds like you'd slap 'em on the back and say it'll build their character...
Or is it just character building when its not your child?
i didnt say ban bullying... thatd be like banning punching. how could we possibly enforce that?? im saying call it every time it happens. tell the kids why it is unacceptable behaviour and never let it slide as inconsequential.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Hey SCB great generalization, I am glad that you flip that switch so easily. Wasn't it you who always tells me not to judge or generalize???
And yes i do have some experiend with bullying, I was the victim in 7th grade, i told the teachers and the principle. Nothing changed, and i ended up punching the kid in the face. Well that day i get a call at night from my homeroom teach, she said that Jeff (the bully) mom called and said her son came home with the black eye and he told her I hit him. The teachers and principle came to the conclusion that it was a closed matter, since i did tell them he was bullying me, and he stopped.
This place around here makes me laugh, i think in every thread that i have a differing opinion, i get a personal attack on me. That is cyber bullying!!! It seems many of you can not have an adult converstaion with someone of a differing opinion.
I actually think kids know its an unacceptable, some just don't know how to deal with differences, but I do think that maybe bullying happens because the parents may encourage it, or the parents are even bullies themselves to their kids, and the kids emulate that behavior in school.
Very well said.
theres a lot of generalising in your post. you assume that because some of us want bullies called on their behaviour that we are soft. now as i can only speak for myself, i will.
nothing aggravates me more than people fucking with me. it drives me insane. the reason it drives me insane is cause its unnecessary. it pisses me off when someone is antagonistic toward someone and when that someone retaliates the antagonstist cries foul.
as ive said before i was never bullied growing up. i believe this to be the case cause i never accepted someone havng a go at me just for the sake of it. i relished debate cause i knew it was a medium i could hold my own in. i knew i was intelliegent enough to talk down any confrontation and i was never part of a clique where i coudl be 'guilty by association. i floated through my school years with an indifference that i have no doubt showed people that whatever it was they cared to dish out just wouldnt hold water with me. plus there was that underlying sense of anger.
i do not pamper my kids and i never have. i teach them to stand up for themselves and others and neevr allow someone to stand over them, even if that someone is an adult. now cause im not with them at school im sure there are instances where this breaks down.. be it they attacking another student or them being attacked. all i can work with is what im aware of.
intimidation can not be dismissed as just as a feeling. especially considering this is how some governments run their foreign policies... kowtow to our demands or we will sanction you so your people suffer. tell me thats not bullying.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
oh you could be right about that. im sure there are some parents who are prideful of their hyper alpha kids lording it over the others. and yes theres no doubt that some bullies emulate their parents behaviour. they have no control at home so they seek to regain that lost control at school. and that is sad.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
When someone's physical and/or emotional health is being affected, this is a classic symptom of bullying and it's certainly time to take measures to stop it. You can't ignore it; it will only escalate if you appear to tolerate the perpetrator(s).
Gibson Amphitheatre (Los Angeles): 10/7/09
so... where is the line drawn??
take a good look
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I'd say it's a case by case basis. If the victim feels threatened and his or her life is negatively altered in any way, then that's where you draw the line.
Gibson Amphitheatre (Los Angeles): 10/7/09
i agree. i am never threatened by bullies... but there are some who arent as strong as me when it comes to dealing with intimidation. and though both i and they are bullied, i am more able to deal with it than they are so consequently though bullying happens in both instances, the way it is dealt with may absolve the bully from his actions purely based on the strength of their victim, you know?
truth be told i cant be bullied. ill laugh at you... tell you to fuck off and thats usually the end of it.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
IMO, you can laught at a level 1. You might be able to laugh at a level 2 unless he doesn't have other alternatives. You can't laught at a level 3 unless you are ready to face... the end.
Or, maybe I'm just weak but when it comes to a level 3.... yes, yes I am. Unless you are in that situation, don't say you wouldn't be too.
My comment was not an emotional one or a generalization. I said I think you (specifically) were probably a bully. That's the opposite of generalization. And I don't know what constant pampering around here (presuming you mean this message board) you're talking about. Have you been pampering me all this time in the many adult conversations we have? Are you being pampered - or are you being bullied? Make up your mind; you're contradicting yourself.
I'm sorry you were the victim of bullying in 7th grade. Based on your story it sounds like he did not physically assault you, but you physically assaulted him - and described his behavior as bullying and turned him in to the authorities. Did you leave out important parts of the story or are you being incredibly hypocritical?
And I still agree that you have not had the bullying experiences of that some kids experience.
P.S. Have you provided that actual data yet on how common bullying is?
So what about bullying in the form of stalking or domestic violence? Victims should just be smart/mature enough to not let it bother them? Builds character and people shouldn't see it as a problem and go tattle and we should end all our pusscake laws against it?
every situation is different. and the lengths some bullies will go to vary even within your level 3. imo not all level 3 bullies have to resort physical violence. psychological intimidation can be just as bad... and can still carry that air of violence.
you forgot the tagalong bully... who does it cause his/her mates do it. but when alone is as meek as a mouse.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
http://abcnews.go.com/US/michael-brewer ... d=11457757
Burn Victim Michael Brewer Speaks Out Against Bullying
Boy Who Was Burned Calls Recovery 'Agony'
31 comments By JUJU CHANG, LIZ SINTAY, URSULA FAHY and SUZAN CLARKE
Aug. 23, 2010
The Florida teen who nearly died after friends allegedly doused him with rubbing alcohol and set him on fire in a dispute over a video game is speaking out against bullying.
Michael Brewer says any child who is being bullied should tell an adult what's going on before things escalate.
"If you try to" handle it "yourself, they are going to do something even worse …," the 15-year-old from Deerfield Beach told ABC News.
The Deerfield Beach Middle School student suffered second- and third-degree burns on more than two-thirds of his body after he was allegedly set ablaze on Oct. 12 in a disagreement over a $40 video game. Police charged three teens with second-degree attempted murder in the incident.
Michael spent weeks in a coma, which doctors induced to help him cope with the excruciating pain of his extensive burns. It was six weeks before he was able to tell investigators what happened.
'Somebody ... Got Me on Fire'
He told police that somebody "poured something on me and got me on fire. Then I started running and jumped in the pool."
Gravely injured, he was flown to a trauma unit.
"Michael certainly was at severe risk of dying," said Carl Schulman, a doctor at the University of Miami-Jackson Memorial Burn Center. "He could have had any one of a number of complications that could have led to his death in the early stages of his burn."
Brewer faced multiple surgeries for skin grafts, along with weeks of grueling physical therapy.
Those weeks were punctuated by a daily shower that Michael came to call "torture time."
"It stung really bad," he said, describing showering as "agony."
His mother, Valerie Brewer, remembers those moments.
"It was just incredible. We could hear him screaming all the way down the hallway," she said.
Michael said he was was comforted and inspired by the music of Ozzy Osbourne and the prayers of strangers, and the support of his family.
Michael's horrific case came to symbolize the evils of bullying. The country seemed to pull together for the Brewers as donations started flooding in. Spontaneous acts of kindess in the form of bake sales, car washes and celebrity events helped raise more than $300,000 -- enough to buy a new home in Michael's name and help pay for much of the boy's medical bills.
"It makes me feel great that all these people believe in me, kept me going," he said.
Teen Burned in Bullying Attack Has Nightmares
Valerie Brewer knew her son had been severely injured, but said she never really knew how bad his condition was at times.
"They kept it from me. We almost lost him several times: His kidneys started to fail; he had a problem with his heart. We were very lucky and I know it was his sheer will and determination to get better," she said.
Michael is now recovering. He jumped on a trampoline for therapy and tossing a baseball around helps stretch his scars. The new house got him away from the neighborhood bullies and he's making new friends, enjoying the back-to-school season, at a new school.
Despite those gains, physically and emotionally Michael is far from fully healed.
He has nightmares, which he doesn't remember when he wakes up.
"I know about them. He screams in the middle of the night. He sleeps through them," Valerie Brewer said. "It helps me a little to know he doesn't remember any of it."
Brewer urged people not to forget about what happened to her son and to other young victims of violence.
Denver Jarvis, Matthew Bent, and Jesus Mendez were charged with attempted second-degree murder in the attack upon Michael Brewer. The three suspects were 15 years old at the time of the incident, but they were charged as adults. All have pleaded not guilty.
Police say Brewer was attacked after he reported one of the accused to the police for allegedly attempting to steal a bicycle as payment for a $40 video game.
Jarvis is accused of splashing Michael with rubbing alcohol, and Mendez is accused of using a lighter to set the boy on fire.
Trust for Michael's Medical Care
Two younger boys who were present were not charged because police believed they were bystanders.
The Brewer family said in a statement that it wished to thank "all who donated time, care, well wishes or funds for Mikey's recovery."
To learn more about the trust that has been established for Michael Brewer's medical care, use the contact information below:
Valerie J. Brewer, Guardian for Michael Brewer, Jr.
c/o Brady & Brady, P.A.
350 Camino Gardens Blvd., Suite 300
Boca Raton, FL 33432
Phone: (561) 338-9256
E-mail: <!-- e --><a href="mailto:bradyandbradylaw@bellsouth.net">bradyandbradylaw@bellsouth.net</a><!-- e -->
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
Holy shit I actually agree!
As a kid we didn't have seat belts in the back seat of our car
My Grandad was given cigarettes during WW2 as part of his rations
All our waste used to go to the land fill
We used to rub coconut oil on our skin and bake ourselves in the sun
We know that these things are bad for us so we have done something about it. How is it any different to bullying?
I was always average on the popularity scale. Wasn't a geek, but certainly wasn't captain of the football team. However, just because I wasn't meek or labelled a loser, did not exempt me from being bullied. I honestly don't know what attracted these types to me, they just always did.
One guy in elementary school used to stalk me perpetually whenver he felt like it, threatening to kick my ass at any time, without provocation. I feared for my safety all the time.
One guy in high school, who was a good friend of mine in elementary up until something, really nothing, changed, and all of a sudden he was bullying me within my own group of friends. I was eventually ostracized from that group, as none of them had the balls to stand up to him. He would follow me home from school every fucking day, trying to get me to fight him. He would spit on me, push me around, threaten me, make fun of my disabled mother, the works.
I have never been a fighter, never will be. I could not bring myself to fight any of these guys out of my own principles (it may sound odd and egotistical, but I wasn't afraid for my safety in most cases, I was afraid for theirs-I once got into a fight-my first and last fight-with a guy and blacked out-I pulverized him and don't remember it-I vowed after that never to lay a hand on anyone again). But I paid the price.
I believe this was the direct cause of my depression and social anxiety issues that exist to this day, my drug and alcohol problems over the years, because I lacked the confidence to be in a situation where someone might not like me for me and may turn on me at any moment, so I fucking drank. And I drank.
For someone to be as ridiculously stupid as to say that bullying is not a big deal needs to be put in that situation for a month, a year, or a fucking decade.
Walk a mile. :evil:
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
how disgusting. while some will argue that this is not the norm, the issue is we have to make sure that this doesn't BECOME the norm. And ignoring it as heidi has suggested helps no one.
Fargo 2003
Winnipeg 2005
Winnipeg 2011
St. Paul 2014
it is definitely disgusting. i was bullied somewhat in elementary school by kids on my school bus that were a couple of years older than me. some of them had even failed a grade so they were an extra year older than me and naturally they were bigger and stronger than me. one day in 4th grade on the bus they were being particularly harsh and i snapped. i went after the ringleader, the biggest of all of them and i choked him with my hands. that prompted the other 4 of them to jump me and proceed to beat me pretty badly. had those kids not jumped in, i was going to beat that motherf@cker like ralphie in a christmas story. i had a few friends that jumped in and helped me and as the bus driver was breaking it up one of the bullies stabbed me in my left hand with a pencil. it left me with a horrible gash and a puncture wound in one of the muscles that controls the thumb. the pencil left a 1inch cut, which when you are in 4th grade, 1 inch is a pretty big gash to have on one of your hands. i ended up in the hospital having minor surgery to debried and close the wound and lucky for me i had no nerve damage. the kid who stabbed me got expelled and the other bullies were suspended from school and banned from the bus so they had to get rides to and from school. i was suspended from school for a week for choking the kid but due to doctor's orders i missed 3 or 4 days of school and ended up with what amounted to a one day suspension. i did hand threapy for a few weeks and i have no lasting damage other than the scar, which is still there even with a plastic surgeon taking care of the wound. i never felt safe knowing those kids were still living in my neighborhood and i used to see them all the time when i would ride my bike. it was not until i hit my growth spurt and started getting more popular in school due to athletics did i not get picked on or bullied. not one of those kids finished school, they all dropped out and last i heard, the ringleader went to jail for making and selling meth.
this kid in the video said it best when he said that "you can't fight back, the minute you do they will do something worse to you" and he is exactly right. i can say that with 100% certainty based on my experiences growing up.
"Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."