Are kids so terrible?
arq
Posts: 8,013
Are you a parent? Is this really possible, are kids so terrible? :shock:
http://i.imgur.com/8aCuc.png
http://i.imgur.com/8aCuc.png
"The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it"
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
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I enjoy skinny-skiing, going to bullfights on acid...
Seriously, I have a workmate who has 3 teenage girls and a husband who doesn't make them do anything or be responsible for themselves.
One of the girls has to go to a special program as she has been expelled from so many schools no-one will accept her. The second one has been expelled from 2 schools and is constantly getting in fights. We have lost count the number of times the cops have shown up at work at 2am etc with one of her girls because they have been playing up. ANd the youngest who was always the better behaved one has just started going wild following the lead of the others and had a pregnancy scare @14yo!!
This woman is seriously depressed and constantly wishes she didn't have kids. A think the difference in parenting and expectations between her and her husband has been what has caused it all, but she can't seem to get him to understand this.
Some people think raising kids is easy.....it's not. Especially if the parents can't agree on boundaries and rules.
Maybe not the kids but the parents (or lack thereof)? Kids (or anyone) aren't going to be nice with Dad if he projects that kind of loathing towards his kids. You reap what you sow....
This is example #1 of a good case for the sterilization of morons.
All I know is when kids are teens you truly wonder "where is my child what have you done with them" when you interact with your once loving child. I always thought, oh no not us, we have a great bond, they are great kids.We will sail through the teen years unscathed, somebody else's problem for sure.
Nope they were gone. They hated us. Thought we were the dumbest people alive who could never understand anything or do or say anything right. They lied, stole, and worst of all were unappreciative of our love and concern. They hurt our hearts.
Good news is they come back as loving adults to be proud of.
The sacrifice and hard work parents put in is worth every second.
So if anyone is out there wondering WTF is going on, will things ever be right again?
If you have lost hope and are afraid, know that, if the foundation you laid is strong and you taught them good morals, everything is going to be ok.
This is beautiful
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
"I need your strength for me to be strong...I need your love to feel loved"
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Love, love, love my kiddies, they can be angels :angel: one moment and devils :twisted: the next, but my love will never wane.
I vividly recall spray painting the side of my house...I was 8! Kids have terrible judgment.
That said, this MUST be fake.
I've recently been watching court TV about a 16 year old girl who died 'cuz the house caught on fire and the girl was chained to her bed and couldn't get out, but everyone else got out, even the dog! Her name is Calista, if anyone has been watching. The parents had other kids who the teachers and neighbors said they treated good, but this one they wouldn't feed properly, cloth properly and chained her up. The parents said it was because she would get sharp objects and eat them and stuff, but the school said they never saw her behave like that.
She was in special ed., but not for bad behavior. She had chain marks around her waist when they found her.
I think because she was a special ed. student and needed a little special attention at home, the parents just didn't want to deal with it. The school said she was very shy and well-behaved!!
Its a horrible story.
I know that if any teachers know of this guy's story and are ignoring it, they are eqaully culpable.
Its horrific!!
I worked with neglected, abused, and throw-away kids for a living, until I became diabled. Some people really do hate their kids!! I don't know why they don't turn them over to the state? They can. This guy says its because he's afraid of going to jail. That's BS, he can turn them over without facing jail.
When I worked in the field, I never once saw a parent go to jail. What usually happens is that they just lose the kids, even for some very bad abuse.
The only time I have even heard of parents going to jail was if a kid died or was permanently harmed and I have only HEARD of that, but never witnessed it
I have always felt that if they were facing jail, we'd see less abuse! They don't want the kids anyway, so they get what the want and the kids are the only ones who suffer. Laws need to be changed.
Even when its found out that the kids are being abused, the kids are the ones who end up in a youth facility, which suits the parents just fine, 'cuz they didn't want them to begin with, unless the kids are the way the parents get a paycheck!
The kids end up being uprooted and by being in a youth facility its like they are the ones going to jail!! Not only were the kids abused by their parents, but then they are also abused by the system, who I guess have no other choice, but I wish the parents suffered some consequences also.
I have heard lots of parents complain about losing their income when they lose the kids. Sickos!!
mos def.. she shoulda kicked their little butts. or locked them in the closet.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
No awkward teen years.
yeah but they slobber on you, poop everywhere and eat your clothes. least kids dont eat your clothes.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
my dog does none of the above.
well maybe a bitt'a slobber but only if you're eating something tasty!
We can get unconditional love too from each other, most especially from our children. It is wonderful to be able to depend on that.
My mother would have and could have kicked my ass until I was about 15. And she pretty much did. Probably why I turned out to be a decent human being.
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Yeah, I'd agree with this one. I love my dogs - and I LOVE my kids. And although at times the almost 13 year old drives me nuts, and reduces me to tears, I know she loves me - I know that when one of them comes to me and says " I love you Mum", it fills my heart absolutely. I couldn't imagine someone getting to the point where they would write something like that. Sure, it's damn hard work - probably THE hardest thing you will EVER do in your life, but it's also the most rewarding thing as well. And kids DO love unconditionally. They also give to you a thousand times, what you give to them. You hug your child, you kiss them goodnight, and you tell them that you love them - they wrap their little arms around you and hug you as if their body could somehow merge with yours and become one, and they fill your entire heart with the love they give off for you.
Sometimes it feels like this is the most difficult thing in the entire world, and you are never sure you're doing the right thing, but when you are having a bad day, and your child comes up to you, and looks at you, and say's "why are you crying Mummy - it's ok, cause I love you to the moon and all around it and back again", you can't help but smile and feel better.
Maybe that's just me, or the maternal instinct in me - I have 4 kids, I'd have 10 if I could. Children are the ultimate gift. The people that have kids that aren't wanted, are doing that child the biggest disadvantage they possibly could.
YOu love your child, and they will love you back. Simple.
I'm posting this because my son now 26 comes to me and does the "Dr Evil Gimme a Hug" impression before he gives me a hug, always makes me laugh, fills my heart too
I think this is representative of a major problem when it comes to the decision to have kids. First people see it as something they are doing: they want to experience being a parent, they think they should be a parent, they want a "kid" around the house. I think the more appropriate question is, "do I want this other person- whomever they might be." You see it all the time, people expect their kids to be just like them, or they only expect the positive. They never think that their kid might be unlikeable, ugly, misbehaved, unsuccessful, not-so-bright, etc. They think they have complete control over who their kids are going to be. And while nurture does play a role, the truth is, no one has complete control over another person. Plus, they only see their kid in the short run. I know so many people who say, "I want to have a baby." Ok, if you do, you're only going to have a baby for about 2 years! After that you've got a little kid, a pre-pubescent, a teenager, and an adult. Instead of deciding whether to have kids, I think a lot more people need to ask themselves if they are prepared for another person. To me, this is a natural consideration, and thus I am hesitant to claim I want kids, to me, it's like take a step back from the supposed-to machine and think about it for a minute. I mean think about that woman who sent her kid back to Russia! That kid didn't have to be adopted for that to happen, I bet a lot of parents would like to stick their biological 7 year olds on a one-way trip to Russia. I just really don't think enough people put the right type of thought into the decision to have kids, and then they're surprised when it doesn't go as planned.
Where our family is now, with our children as adults in their twenties, we all see each other pretty clearly. Their revelations about us are as dramatic as ours of them.
I agree people should prepare themselves for parenthood but it is a process that one lives through and that is the ultimate beauty of it.
I think if young people over think or make it a huge lifetime decision it might cause even more fear than what is normally experienced and they may choose not to out of this fear and really miss out.
The sacrifices, the learning to be less self centered, that comes along with being a parent, happens gradually over time and the heart grows and the parent matures.
Yes way to many are having babies with no thought at all when they are way to young and they are not ready to give of themselves. And often this is history repeating itself as their parents did and as their example.
If one is going to think of the lifetime commitment think of the love that is created and the lifetime of joy too. Plenty of hard work but so very worth it.
While this is true, an adult is an adult and a child is a child. Actual "children" may not be developed enough to think that way. There's not much of an excuse for an adult parent.
Well I think that a statement like this is actually part of the problem I was describing. You say that a person who chooses not to have a child, because they are thinking about it as a huge lifetime decision, and/or are afraid, they will necessarily "really miss out." I disagree with this. First, having a kid is a huge lifetime decision! I am in my 30s, and my life is the way it is without kids, and it's not too bad. If I throw a kid into the mix, it's changes everything, for ever. Second, I think this is a reasonable thing to be "afraid" of. Not everyone is meant to have kids. I'm sure that in a lot of ways, I could be a very good parent- I'm educated, have a good family, etc. But that doesn't mean that it's unreasonable for me to think that having a kid might be a risk I might not want to take. Third, is someone is "afraid" to have kids, then that seems like exactly the person who shouldn't have them! Fourth, I believe the "really missing out" thing is a big problem in our culture. There have been a lot of books and articles around lately warning women that if they don't have kids, they will regret it later. I feel this is fearmongering, and it places unnecessary doubt into the minds of people who have made decisions that are right for them. It also perpetuates the idea that all women ultimately want to, and are supposed to, have kids, and if they don't, there is something wrong with them. Plus, it makes people who actually would like to have kids, but can't for whatever reason, feel even worse. Too often it is taken for granted that everyone on the planet has the same life or the same goals in life. People's lives just go the way go, and making people feel that they are "missing out" because their's went one path instead of another just doesn't get anyone anywhere.
I also find this problematic. I don't believe that every parenting experience will necessarily involve love and joy and be "worth it." I honestly don't. I'm sure a lot of people feel this way about their experiences, but we also tend to cling to magical ideas in our culture. Blanket statements like are exactly the ones that make people think that they should have kids because it will all just be love and joy and awesomeness. If you had said, "the flip side of the chance of a lifetime of problems is the chance of a lifetime joy/love" then I can accept that. But to say that for everyone the work is worth it is very naive. People tend to say things like, "oh when you have your own kid, it'll be different." Well you know, that might happen...but it seems like an awfully risky undertaking to put your entire life in the hands of a magic.
I don't really have to make a decision about having kids so I really don't think about it, but in my mind, the things we tend to see as somehow magical really aren't much different than anything else in life. If I never have kids before I die, well that's just something I didn't do. I also will probably die without ever climbing mt everest or playing the french horn. To some people those experiences are magical, and they can't imagine the work that goes into them as being anything but worth it. But no one would say that everyone who considers the risks of climbing mt. everest or doesn't want to put the time into learning the french horn and doesn't do so as a result has "missed out."
we painted the side of our house black.
we overheard dad saying he didn't like the color so we fixed it for him.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce