i wonder what Jeremy's parents thought of "Jeremy"

StuffnJunk

they say losing a child is the toughest thing you could ever endure

losing a child to suicide makes it even worse

and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

a pop band writes a song about it using your son's actual name and saying "daddy didn't give attention to the fact that mommy didn't care"...and its a song that ends up all over mainstream radio and MTV

when i was a teenager, i thought "yeah, jeremy sure stuck it to them, alright!!"

now that i'm 32 i see things more from the parents point of view...

EDIT - i'm very pleased to see so many people liked my thread and that it has sparked some great discussion

i guess the main thing i've been thinking about, which is part of growing up, is being critical of what you perceive to be crappy parenting when you are young, then growing up and having kids of your own and seeing how incredibly hard it is, and then maybe regretting how critical you were...and realizing that maybe (gasp!) you are not the greatest parent yourself, who's to say?..that is a poor attempt at putting my thoughts into words, but i guess you get what i mean.

Kanye East

meh

the wolf

Kanye East wrote:

meh

what ?

I think its a decent topic. would you rather talk about Philly boots ? or Ed's pants ? :?

Gmoney

pop band?

arq

Wow a $1000000 question! :shock:

I'll give it a thought and I'll post later!

PillowPants

pop band?

Gmoney

pop band?

Pol

StuffnJunk you totally read my mind. This thought had been floating around my head recently and I was meaning to ask that question but got tied up with uni crud :evil: .

I had always wondered what their reaction to the song was. Did they feel that this band were cashing in on the death of their son? Devaluing him somehow? Of course I don't believe that for one minute, Ed always said every time he sings the song he thinks of Jeremy and I know he does. It obviously struck a chord with Ed and he had to release his feelings about it by doing what he does best, letting his emotions flow through his pen onto paper. The song is very powerful with an important message and it's kinda beautiful in a way. It's just a terribly sad story which happened to produce an extremely powerful song.

81

http://www.sshep.com/jeremynew.htm

FenwayFaithful

Great thread StuffnJunk! I agree with the wolf on this one, these threads are so much more entertaining than bitching about tour dates and philly boots. I enjoy discussing "non mainstream" stuff on the board. That and I'm bored with the "I wonder what happened to the Vs. sheep" by now.

Has this ever been explored before? What do we know about PJ's relationship with the actual family?

Ledbetterman10

the wolf wrote:

Kanye East wrote:

meh

what ?

I think its a decent topic. would you rather talk about Philly boots ? or Ed's pants ? :?

I totally agree dude.

Anyway, if the parents have ever heard the song, I bet at first they felt that they're situation was being exploited. But it would to make them take a look in the mirror and ask if it was really their fault. If they felt it wasn't, then they probably thought Eddie Vedder was a huge fucking asshole. If they felt it was their fault, they probably are tortured by the whole thing; the loss of their kid as well as the fact that it was made into such a famous song.

Ledbetterman10

81 wrote:

http://www.sshep.com/jeremynew.htm

wow interesting stuff.

Mookie Blaylock77

This is good stuff... I agree with almost all of you.
Finally something actually interesting.

I will have to give a thought :roll:

mookeywrench

Pearl Jam were a part of pop culture in 1991-1994. That would make them a pop band.

riCotokYo

very good question!

and for all you "pop band?" people.....don't forget pop is short for popular. and it takes a popular band to break first week sales records as VS did!.....

CJMST3K

Gmoney wrote:

pop band?

Excellent question the OP had.

"Pop band" from the view of the parents... that some popular band made a radio and video hit, with the brief, possibly skewed view of their son's recent suicide.

Probably one of the best questions asked on this board, frankly.

...I too will need to consider my answer.

riCotokYo

81 wrote:

http://www.sshep.com/jeremynew.htm

notice how the Jeremy from the video has the same haircut as the real Jeremy

btw, thanks for posting that....neato gang!

Anon

When I was 18, I lost a great friend to suicide. At the time of his funeral, we young kids that knew EVERYTHING sneered at his parents, were downright a-holes and blamed them for Tony's death. I guess at 18, we didn't know how the f* else to deal with such agonizing grief.

Fifteen years later I think of Tony still probably almost every day of my life. Now though, I think of his family, his brother, his parents and how much I can't even begin to wrap my head around how much they must have hurt, still hurt and how much of the blame they probably heaped on themselves without all of us young jerks adding to it.

I've thought a long time about sending Tony's family a letter, not so much as an apology, but more of a hey, he was a great friend I miss him and I think of him and you often.

But, I have NO idea how they processed the suicide of their son. This letter would be my Jeremy of sorts... Cathartic for me in dealing with the pain, but without the piece of info about how they are healing, it could be a sting that they just can't deal with still all these years later or maybe a welcome relief?

We can never read what is truly on someone else's heart I guess..

fuck

StuffnJunk wrote:

a pop band writes a song about it using your son's actual name and saying "daddy didn't give attention to the fact that mommy didn't care"...

just cause they used his actual name doesn't mean they're implying that the real kid's dad didn't give a damn. they might be applying the real jeremy's situation to that of many other kids. in other words, obviously most people, including the band, don't really know what the real Jeremy's relationship with his family was actually like other than what the media may have reported (and was probably not even that accurate). it's possible eddie just thought of this kid's situation, used his name, but then also threw in other aspects drawn from other kids' stories.

other than that, i would say it that atleast to me i think it's pretty clear that the band was sympathizing with both the kid and the family, but obviously i can't really answer this type of question without being in the situation myself

Anon

If you or someone you know needs help dealing with the pain of suicide:

http://www.afsp.org/

moses-i

I'm surprised that so many fans take the lyrics so literally. I thought it was common knowledge that Jeremy Delle was the INSPIRATION for the song, not that the song is actually about him. I mean did Eddie Vedder actually pick on the kid? Did the kid actually bite the recess lady's breast? Did he punch out Eddie Vedder? Did ANYBODY do any of things? The song is about alienation, depression and teen suicide not Jeremy Delle. I'd imagine that Jeremy's parents appreciate the spirit the song was written in.

Oh and yeah sorry kids-Pearl Jam were for all intents and purposes a "pop band" in the 90s. How else do you explain sweeping the MTV Awards-when was the last time that a rock band got that many awards at ANY awards show.

81

Eddie Vedder wrote:

No, I wrote, I mean I literally wrote the song that night, I think...I don't know that much. I actually even thought about... I'm really divulging a lot here... and I should explain it...the fact that I thought of even calling up and finding out more, like I wonder why that happened? I wonder why he did it and it seemed like Richardson sounded to me like a decent suburb, middle if not upper class. The fact is, I didn't want to. I thought that was intruding completely and so... I actually knew somebody in junior high school, in San Diego, California, that did the same thing, just about, didn't take his life but ended up shooting up an oceanography room. I remember being in the halls and hearing it and I had actually had altercations with this kid in the past. I was kind of a rebellious fifth-grader and I think we got in fights and stuff. So it's a bit about this kid named Jeremy and it's also a bit about a kid named Brian that I knew and I don't know...the song, I think it says a lot. I think it goes somewhere...and a lot of people interpret it different ways and it's just been recently that I've been talking about the true meaning behind it and I hope no one's offended and believe me, I think of Jeremy when I sing it. "

Ledbetterman10

Another question that needs to be posed here is how many kids may have committed suicide BECAUSE OF Jeremy? He is portrayed as almost heroic in the music video. While I'm sure it may have helped teens on the brink of suicide, it very well could have pushed others over the edge.

Another song that I've always felt was a huge double-edged sword was "Rape Me" by Nirvana. Just imagine being a rape victim. You've put it behind you and you're getting on with your life. Sometimes you think about it but you try not to. Then one day you're driving in your car listening to the local alternative rock station and all of a sudden there's this dude screaming "rape me" at the top his lungs blasting out of the speakers. That could be fucking traumatizing for a girl.

Gems and Rhinestones

i saw them rocking out at the Spectrum so they must have been okay with it.

FenwayFaithful

Wow, this thread could go on for a while. Good stuff guys.

CJMST3K

Gems and Rhinestones wrote:

i saw them rocking out at the Spectrum so they must have been okay with it.

who's "them"? PJ or Jeremy's family?

...'cause PJ has be fine with singing this song for two decades.

songforholly

81 wrote:

http://www.sshep.com/jeremynew.htm

made me think ... reading this.... thanks for the link.
Seem Ed was hit by a chord as a very similar story happened to him when he was a kid... (well child with a gun shooting up a classroom)
It would stay with you forever.

blondieblue227

Ledbetterman10 wrote:

Another question that needs to be posed here is how many kids may have committed suicide BECAUSE OF Jeremy? He is portrayed as almost heroic in the music video. While I'm sure it may have helped teens on the brink of suicide, it very well could have pushed others over the edge

that reminds me of ozzy.
remember?
a kid killed himself and the parents blamed the music. 'get the gun. shoot shoot shoot.'

na uh. ain't buying it.
it's not because of the music.

Ironic. It’s Christmas time and I’ve noticed two threads on here about suicide.

FenwayFaithful

blondieblue227 wrote:

Ledbetterman10 wrote:

Another question that needs to be posed here is how many kids may have committed suicide BECAUSE OF Jeremy? He is portrayed as almost heroic in the music video. While I'm sure it may have helped teens on the brink of suicide, it very well could have pushed others over the edge

that reminds me of ozzy.
remember?
a kid killed himself and the parents blamed the music. 'get the gun. shoot shoot shoot.'

na uh. ain't buying it.

+1

songforholly

Ledbetterman10 wrote:

Another song that I've always felt was a huge double-edged sword was "Rape Me" by Nirvana. Just imagine being a rape victim. You've put it behind you and you're getting on with your life. Sometimes you think about it but you try not to. Then one day you're driving in your car listening to the local alternative rock station and all of a sudden there's this dude screaming "rape me" at the top his lungs blasting out of the speakers. That could be fucking traumatizing for a girl.

I always thought this song was about smoking... :shock:

blondieblue227

Ledbetterman10 wrote:

Another song that I've always felt was a huge double-edged sword was "Rape Me" by Nirvana.

Hey I’m a girl and you have a point.
I DID NOT like that song.
But I never liked Nirvana anyway, so...

but that song really made me not like them.