i wonder what Jeremy's parents thought of "Jeremy"

Gmoney

hope this isnt way off base- but I wonder if the real Jeremy's parents could have pursued any legal action in regards to the song? Like defamation of character?

Ledbetterman10

Gmoney wrote:

hope this isnt way off base- but I wonder if the real Jeremy's parents could have pursued any legal action in regards to the song? Like defamation of character?

I don't know much about stuff like that but I'd wager a guess that so long as they don't use a last name, they'd be alright. You can't drop regular people's names in songs or television without their permission. But you can mention any public figure...like Barack Obama or Johnny Guitar Watson or whoever.

yield2me

The school where the suicide happened is about 5 min from my house and I drive by it all the time. I've driven by it on several occassions and actually had Jeremy playing in the car :shock: It's cool and eerie and beautiful all at the same time. I think PJ's song is a tribute that just happened to immortalize the kid. That song also makes me think of Columbine...kind of a bad omen for things that were to come.

dpmay

this is pretty much off topic but have you all heard brandi carlile's 'that year'? it's a fucking fantastic song about teen suicide and something that actually personally happened to her. it's on her myspace page...

Franny

I think suicide is one of the most frustrating and bewildering acts someone can do. How people respond to it is different from person to person, even from day to day. My ex killed himself when my son was 6months old. Due to all the shit that had gone on prior to him doing it, I was sooooo angry with him because in my eyes he opted to take the easy way out. My way of dealing with it, was to basically carry on as though nothing had happened. I never attended the funeral, and have never been to visit the site of his burial. I still will only drive by that way if there is absolutely no other way to go. Pretty cold in some peoples eyes, but thata was my way. that was over 4 years ago.

For a parent to lose a child, whether they been a teen or adult, must be absolutely shattering. There would be an element of self-blame, I know i even blamed his mother for not doing more to prevent it.

I'm not how I would feel being in the shoes of Jeremys parents. There would def be a feeling of privacy invasion, I mean it's such an isolating thing to occur, but then perhaps also that the song would be something that others in his situation could relate to and maybe realise that there is another way. Suicide doesn't just kill the person committing it, it also kills a part of the other people in thier lives.

Dunno if it makes sense to anyone, but that;s my perspective.

WhyNotSweden

Does anyone have a pic (new, up to date) of Trevor Wilson? (boy who played Jeremy in the vid)

like.echoes

dpmay wrote:

this is pretty much off topic but have you all heard brandi carlile's 'that year'? it's a fucking fantastic song about teen suicide and something that actually personally happened to her. it's on her myspace page...

Love her, and that's a beautiful, sad song.

81

in honor of this thread, i'm going to listen nto the show that is listed on the ticket stub on page about jeremy.

http://pearljam.com/show/smirnoff-music ... ct-17-2000


huh...ed metions Jeremy before playing Jeremy

rearviewmiror

It's a great thread. Kudos again to the OP.

Jeremy was in fact the reason I became a PJ fan. Nothing clicked until this song. There is a good video on youtube with some footage of the high school and the grave site with Jeremy playing of course. It's pretty eerie. I remember being alienated in High School, I also remember wanting to be that way. Like that was my part. I am sure music like this plays a part in some people's psyche's but it's music that needs to be written.

Those were different times, and the music reflects that. You can't stop writing serious music because you are afraid that people will take it the wrong way. I have oftened wondered how jeremy's parents felt, and I guess they deserve credit for not becoming media whores.

It's sad that jeremy felt the need to do what he did, but I understand. Life is hard, and when things aren't right consistently it gets even harder.

The video has that controversial part where he kills himself but it's edited to be safe to make it look like he kills the classroom kids. There was a lot of hysteria over that misinterpretation. kind of like real life, very often we arrest overreact to the afflicted bullied child and enable the bullying and agressive kids.

ironically, when a co-worker and friend killed herself 8 years ago, I sought out Pearl Jam's music as a release and comfort.

blondieblue227

Black-Corduroy wrote:

I think suicide is one of the most frustrating and bewildering acts someone can do. How people respond to it is different from person to person, even from day to day. My ex killed himself when my son was 6months old. Due to all the shit that had gone on prior to him doing it, I was sooooo angry with him because in my eyes he opted to take the easy way out. My way of dealing with it, was to basically carry on as though nothing had happened. I never attended the funeral, and have never been to visit the site of his burial. I still will only drive by that way if there is absolutely no other way to go. Pretty cold in some peoples eyes, but thata was my way. that was over 4 years ago.

For a parent to lose a child, whether they been a teen or adult, must be absolutely shattering. There would be an element of self-blame, I know i even blamed his mother for not doing more to prevent it.

I'm not how I would feel being in the shoes of Jeremys parents. There would def be a feeling of privacy invasion, I mean it's such an isolating thing to occur, but then perhaps also that the song would be something that others in his situation could relate to and maybe realise that there is another way. Suicide doesn't just kill the person committing it, it also kills a part of the other people in thier lives.

Dunno if it makes sense to anyone, but that;s my perspective.

Beautiful post.
Thanks for sharing.

FenwayFaithful

blondieblue227 wrote:

Black-Corduroy wrote:

I think suicide is one of the most frustrating and bewildering acts someone can do. How people respond to it is different from person to person, even from day to day. My ex killed himself when my son was 6months old. Due to all the shit that had gone on prior to him doing it, I was sooooo angry with him because in my eyes he opted to take the easy way out. My way of dealing with it, was to basically carry on as though nothing had happened. I never attended the funeral, and have never been to visit the site of his burial. I still will only drive by that way if there is absolutely no other way to go. Pretty cold in some peoples eyes, but thata was my way. that was over 4 years ago.

For a parent to lose a child, whether they been a teen or adult, must be absolutely shattering. There would be an element of self-blame, I know i even blamed his mother for not doing more to prevent it.

I'm not how I would feel being in the shoes of Jeremys parents. There would def be a feeling of privacy invasion, I mean it's such an isolating thing to occur, but then perhaps also that the song would be something that others in his situation could relate to and maybe realise that there is another way. Suicide doesn't just kill the person committing it, it also kills a part of the other people in thier lives.

Dunno if it makes sense to anyone, but that;s my perspective.

Beautiful post.
Thanks for sharing.

+1

skinnylegs

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl= ... G%26um%3D1

Wow, he hasn't aged well. Check out his birthday.

WeBelongTogether

Gmoney wrote:

hope this isnt way off base- but I wonder if the real Jeremy's parents could have pursued any legal action in regards to the song? Like defamation of character?

No. Not even close.

StuffnJunk

just remembered this thread of mine from a while back that people seemed to like and find thought provoking...just wondering if anyone had anything else to say about it now...

bruce

my guess would be the kid didn't realy have parents. I mean, everyone has parents but how much of a parental figure did he have?

covered in bliss

bruce wrote:

my guess would be the kid didn't realy have parents. I mean, everyone has parents but how much of a parental figure did he have?

you can't blame the parents. Many people have ridiculously fucked-up childhoods and they don't kill themselves.

Remember this topic in 20 years and I guarantee you will change your answer.

Hope that doesn't come across as condescending.. wasn't meant to be. Recently, a 7th grader (12 yr old) at my daughter's school hung herself. Her father died of bone cancer 5 years ago. It's a fact that ages 3-13 are crucial in a child's emotional development. Really... that shit is textbook. Trauma during this time can really affect a growing mind. Either way.. good or bad. (I might have the exact ages wrong but the swing is there. Young to tween.)

Some parents are scum that should've never reproduced and other parents do the best they can.

You really can't blame anyone but the person that did the deed.

dimitrispearljam

the worst thing in life is a parent loose their child.its so difficult to answer to this question..i think they felt strange ,kinda bad with the song....i think the song for sure blame the parents for the suicide.....
when a child suiside i have the feeling that parents sould try harder..i dont know..seems the most difficull thing i n the world to grow up kids in the best and healthy way..parents must never stop trying..
and one of the greatest thread is this one..congrats to OP.

WhyNotSweden

skinnylegs wrote:

Wow, he hasn't aged well. Check out his birthday.

I dont think its the same Trevor Wilson

hrd2imgn

reazing two things:

1. it was irresponsible using his real name in the song. I know spur of the moment etc etc, but for a man who claims and proclaims to do the research......you'd think maybe it would be a little more empathetic using a different name. Could you imagine if this was your friend or son/ daughter and you heard or saw this video? He writes a song about Layne and never uses his name...just wondering on that choice. Again I know he read it saw the kids name and said to himself Jeremy's spoken now they've heard his voice....but out of respect to the family why not change it? Instead any time they turn on the radio or MTV circa 1994 they gotta hear a song about their song killing himself, and what bad parents they are. So you read a fucking newspaper article and make all those conclusions Ed...irresponsible. Don;t fucking lecture me on a Oil company and tell me to research shit on TV.

2. I never had seen a picture of this young man, holy shit they even had the kid in the video look like him....see above post.

If I were involved with that kid as a friend of family I would be fucking infuriated and feel exploited.

I know the message of the song really isn't about glorifying it or anything, but did the band in turn ever donate money made from Jeremy to causes that support interventions to stem this event from occurring? Maybe send the family a million dollars to set up a scholarship fund for at risk teens or something?

Does the song illicit emotion and give a platform for thought and ideas, yes. Was it done in good taste IMO, no. I am a painter, I am of the ilk that you as artist are responsible for the images used to an extent, and you have a responsibility to think about connotations before you throw it out there. In this case I do not think they did this.

Gibson

Fantastic thread.

I don't have much of a "reasearched opinion", or one from "close experience," but I think the song captures the essence beautifully. It's dark, and portrays the story from an outsider's point of view.

That being said, I think that the parents have more to be concerned over than the lyrics to a song about their son.

THAT being said, I would hope that the parents are humbled that a song was written to raise awareness and hopefully prevent this type of situation in the future.