How long do I wait to call?

dimitrispearljam

so u married her or what??

milarso

dimitrispearljam wrote:

so u married her or what??

Nope.

soulsinging

milarso wrote:

It's official.
My old gf is 6-8 weeks pregnant.
We went and talked with a nurse at her OBGYN's office to see what our options are and get some questions answered.
We've talked about it, and although we haven't made a final decision, I think we are going to keep it.
I'm not sure about anything else right now as far as our relationship is concerned.
We are still pretty much in shock.

kudos to you man. i'd be pissing myself and pushing for termination.

milarso

soulsinging wrote:

kudos to you man. i'd be pissing myself and pushing for termination.

Well I'm definitely pissing myself...
We are pretty unprepared to deal with this. Financially we should be ok- both of us have decent jobs and have insurance, but neither of us have ever dealt with a baby before.
Things are going to get very strange, very soon.

dimitrispearljam

congrats for the beby...its hard when happen like this,,i suppose u will fine the best way

the wolf

milarso wrote:

Well I'm definitely pissing myself...
We are pretty unprepared to deal with this. Financially we should be ok- both of us have decent jobs and have insurance, but neither of us have ever dealt with a baby before.
Things are going to get very strange, very soon.

Hey Bro, good luck ! I think it's a stand up thing you are doing. I really do.

with that being said, I would still try to re-schedule your date !!!!

pandora

milarso wrote:

soulsinging wrote:

kudos to you man. i'd be pissing myself and pushing for termination.

Well I'm definitely pissing myself...
We are pretty unprepared to deal with this. Financially we should be ok- both of us have decent jobs and have insurance, but neither of us have ever dealt with a baby before.
Things are going to get very strange, very soon.

Ahhh the miracle of life
yours will never be the same- that is a very good thing

DeLukin

Whenever it is, make sure you call collect. Chicks LOVE that.

decides2dream

milarso wrote:

It's official.
My old gf is 6-8 weeks pregnant.
We went and talked with a nurse at her OBGYN's office to see what our options are and get some questions answered.
We've talked about it, and although we haven't made a final decision, I think we are going to keep it.
I'm not sure about anything else right now as far as our relationship is concerned.
We are still pretty much in shock.

good luck to you both whatever you decide. and no matter your relationship, do be there for her, no matter what decision you make in regards to the pregnancy....she'll need you.


all the best.

soulsinging

pandora wrote:

Ahhh the miracle of life
yours will never be the same-

it's statements like that that would make me want to leave the country if i was in his shoes

Heatherj43

I don't know if you should get back with her just because she is pregnant. If it didn't work the first time, it is highly doubtful it will work now. You broke up for a reason. Also, don't take the advice of some counselor or nurse. It is YOU who will have the consequences of your actions and choices, and the consequences are for a life time.
Its okay to know your choices, but make sure YOU make them, not a stranger. I am a social worker and the number one thing I know is that I am never to give my opinion or advice of what someone should do. There are good reasons for this. One is that they then can blame me, and not themselves, when it is the wrong choice. Another, is that I likely am coming from my frame of referance and don't really know how my opinion would affect you, the gf, and the baby. What a turn of events for you!
I hope she isn't lying just to get you back. Girls have been known to do this a lot. Then, at some later date, after they got you back, they say they had a miscarriage. If she is preggos, be sure its yours also.
The problem with that is what do you do until its born. There is a lot of time btwn. now and then. Its like your life will be on hold until then, unless you don't go back with her. All that will happen then is you are either a dday or not.
Please be supportive of her either way.
Good luck to you.

milarso

Heatherj43 wrote:

I don't know if you should get back with her just because she is pregnant. If it didn't work the first time, it is highly doubtful it will work now. You broke up for a reason. Also, don't take the advice of some counselor or nurse. It is YOU who will have the consequences of your actions and choices, and the consequences are for a life time.
Its okay to know your choices, but make sure YOU make them, not a stranger. I am a social worker and the number one thing I know is that I am never to give my opinion or advice of what someone should do. There are good reasons for this. One is that they then can blame me, and not themselves, when it is the wrong choice. Another, is that I likely am coming from my frame of referance and don't really know how my opinion would affect you, the gf, and the baby. What a turn of events for you!
I hope she isn't lying just to get you back. Girls have been known to do this a lot. Then, at some later date, after they got you back, they say they had a miscarriage. If she is preggos, be sure its yours also.
The problem with that is what do you do until its born. There is a lot of time btwn. now and then. Its like your life will be on hold until then, unless you don't go back with her. All that will happen then is you are either a dday or not.
Please be supportive of her either way.
Good luck to you.

We haven't yet decided if we are going to get back together, only that the we are going to have the baby. And too be completely honest, it wasn't really my choice, it was her's. She was good enough to take my thoughts and concerns into consideration, but had she chosen to terminate the pregnancy, I really wouldn't have had any recourse or say in the decision.
And I know for sure that she's pregnant. I've seen the paperwork and we've spoken to the nurse who drew her blood and called her to tell her the results.
We're figuring this all out as we go, but I plan on supporting her the whole way through.

catefrances

milarso wrote:

HeartShapedBox wrote:

Call now!!! It's getting close to a week, if you don't call soon she's going to think your not interested in her....

Oh, I called. Got a date. Then canceled this afternoon.
Yesterday, my ex-girlfriend (with whom I broke up with about six months ago, but had a drunken hook-up with about one month ago) asked me to come over to her house. Once there, she told me she was pregnant.

I have no fucking clue where to go from here.

didnt you say she was 6-8 weeks pregnant?? by about a month ago do you mean early october or september???

pandora

soulsinging wrote:

pandora wrote:

Ahhh the miracle of life
yours will never be the same-

it's statements like that that would make me want to leave the country if i was in his shoes

you left off the all good part
loving a child is all good

milarso

catefrances wrote:

didnt you say she was 6-8 weeks pregnant?? by about a month ago do you mean early october or september???

We slept together in September. I can't remember if it was the last weekend or the second to last.
She said that she hadn't had a period in a while before she checked it out. Apparently its not uncommon for her to be a few weeks late. Then she took a pregnancy test and it was positive, but before she told me, (she works for a healthcare system) she had blood drawn and had a test done in the lab. Then she told me. So she knew about it a few days before she told me.

The time frame seems about right.

catefrances

milarso wrote:

catefrances wrote:

didnt you say she was 6-8 weeks pregnant?? by about a month ago do you mean early october or september???

We slept together in September. I can't remember if it was the last weekend or the second to last.
She said that she hadn't had a period in a while before she checked it out. Apparently its not uncommon for her to be a few weeks late. Then she took a pregnancy test and it was positive, but before she told me, (she works for a healthcare system) she had blood drawn and had a test done in the lab. Then she told me. So she knew about it a few days before she told me.

The time frame seems about right.

it doesnt have to seem about right.. it has to BE right.

milarso

catefrances wrote:

it doesnt have to seem about right.. it has to BE right.

Well considering that there is no way at this point to say exactly how far along she is to the day, and that neither of us remember the exact date we got together, its difficult to be absolutely certain of anything right now.
She told me that I'm the only one she's been with, and I have no reason to think she not telling the truth.
I know it "has to BE right" however, I won't know that for sure until the baby is born and I can get a paternity test administered.
Until then, I can either assume that it's mine and make sure arrangements are made to make sure that she is supported and the baby will be taken care of if it is mine, or I can stick my head in the sand and try to pretend like nothing is going on.
I'd rather do the former.

pandora

milarso wrote:

catefrances wrote:

it doesnt have to seem about right.. it has to BE right.

Well considering that there is no way at this point to say exactly how far along she is to the day, and that neither of us remember the exact date we got together, its difficult to be absolutely certain of anything right now.
She told me that I'm the only one she's been with, and I have no reason to think she not telling the truth.
I know it "has to BE right" however, I won't know that for sure until the baby is born and I can get a paternity test administered.
Until then, I can either assume that it's mine and make sure arrangements are made to make sure that she is supported and the baby will be taken care of if it is mine, or I can stick my head in the sand and try to pretend like nothing is going on.
I'd rather do the former.

seems you are doing it right
trust and respect for each other

catefrances

milarso wrote:

catefrances wrote:

it doesnt have to seem about right.. it has to BE right.

Well considering that there is no way at this point to say exactly how far along she is to the day, and that neither of us remember the exact date we got together, its difficult to be absolutely certain of anything right now.
She told me that I'm the only one she's been with, and I have no reason to think she not telling the truth.
I know it "has to BE right" however, I won't know that for sure until the baby is born and I can get a paternity test administered.
Until then, I can either assume that it's mine and make sure arrangements are made to make sure that she is supported and the baby will be taken care of if it is mine, or I can stick my head in the sand and try to pretend like nothing is going on.
I'd rather do the former.

and kudos to you for that.