Would you say you're happy enough with your life now Frankie?
Thats always a tough question. If you asked me in person I would automatically say yes as to avoid any emtional pampering and just move on.. Given this is the internet and there is more time to think before responding, I think it's less of a yes/no question and more of a scale 1-10 type. There are things that I love about my life and there are things that I could improve on. I think I would be a 6 or 7 if 10 was perfectly happy. The positives are that I don't live with my parents, I am completely independent, have a good job that I mostly enjoy, a steady paycheck, good education, my health is under control, etc. The things I am unhappy with are my lacking of really good friendships/significant other, my decrease in motivation since I graduated college, and just the repetitiveness of everything.
The problem is that I don't find the negative things that big of a deal. I have friends that I see when i want to, but the length between getherings has grown. I'm single and don't really have any prospects in that area.. but it's not like I am actively going to bars and trying to meet people. But I do realize that if I don't start seeking these things then my current life can sustain itself for years. I can go to work, eat, and come home every night doing the same old things and just let it be that way. It's funny the change in perspective that a stupid date can bring. The only thing that really changed between today and 12/31 last year was that I moved to a new apartment because rent was to high, and I got a raise. Yes 2 financially good decisions, but not really anything majorly life-affecting..
How about you Jenny, are you happy?
2003: 7/14 NJ ... 2006: 6/1 NJ, 6/3 NJ ... 2007: 8/5 IL ... 2008: 6/24 NY, 6/25 NY, 8/7 EV NJ ... 2009: 10/27 PA, 10/28 PA, 10/30 PA, 10/31 PA 2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD 2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA 2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s7
I'm not happy but i'm not really sure what to do about it either. Other than having a full-time job, my life as a 28 year old is no different to how my life was as an 18 year old. I still live at home and that's unlikely to change as my mother is now 70 and i'm her only child still in the country. I'm happy enough living at home though. I'm also happy with my job and I am fit and healthy, more or less.
Similar to you though, Frankie, I have no real friendships and I have actually never been in a relationship or even gone on a date! At 28, I feel like a lost cause. I think we differ in that this aspect of my life constantly brings me down. Sometimes when i'm really busy with sport I can distract myself from it, but never for long. Of course, as every year passes, I start to wonder if I'll ever have these relationships and if not, why not? Am I that different? Does the fact that I don't drink make me that much of a social outcast in this country? Or is it all my fault for being so shy and having no self-confidence to do anything about it?
I'm not happy but i'm not really sure what to do about it either. Other than having a full-time job, my life as a 28 year old is no different to how my life was as an 18 year old. I still live at home and that's unlikely to change as my mother is now 70 and i'm her only child still in the country. I'm happy enough living at home though. I'm also happy with my job and I am fit and healthy, more or less.
Similar to you though, Frankie, I have no real friendships and I have actually never been in a relationship or even gone on a date! At 28, I feel like a lost cause. I think we differ in that this aspect of my life constantly brings me down. Sometimes when i'm really busy with sport I can distract myself from it, but never for long. Of course, as every year passes, I start to wonder if I'll ever have these relationships and if not, why not? Am I that different? Does the fact that I don't drink make me that much of a social outcast in this country? Or is it all my fault for being so shy and having no self-confidence to do anything about it?
That's one thing that's bugged me as an only child to senior citizen aged parents. People tend to look down on adult kids living with their parents, meanwhile it's not like I had much of a choice. I think it comes from the typical sort of tv family lifestyle of child goes to college and lives in dorm, child gets job, child moves elsewhere, child stays gone. Apparently this is something that actually happens in real life (or so I'm told). I never had that luxury - I was working 50 hours a week and doing school at night, before I could get that done my dad unexpectedly passed leaving my limited-mobility mother a widow. What exactly was I gonna do? "Oh sorry Ma I got a degree now so I'm off to find a high paying job in a bohemian city with a low cost of living, good luck shoveling your car out of the snow yourself!" Fuck outta here. Most of the people I know are the ones supporting their parent(s).
Yeah I tend to feel I have to explain why I still live at home and defend it. The fact is, it suits my mother and I as she'd hate to live on her own and I have no obvious reason to move out right now. She's perfectly self-sufficient at the moment but has a list of ailments and medications a mile long so that won't be the case forever unfortunately.
It's hard not to feel that you're failing to tick life's boxes though. Getting a job is the only one I've managed, while my peers have had boyfriends, travelled the world, gotten engaged then married and now they're starting to have kids. While here I am, single and living at home. I'm sure I'm not the only one but sometimes it feels that way
Sure isn't it a fine New Year's Eve pity party i'm having haha
Ok, So i was talking with this male coworker this morning...and he called me a theif joking and that lead me to tell him how my husband called me a common criminal the other day, also joking...anyway, the oworker then goes...."if it's any consolation, I think you're so much more than common...." what do I do with that??? It's been on my mind all damn day!!!
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Ok, So i was talking with this male coworker this morning...and he called me a theif joking and that lead me to tell him how my husband called me a common criminal the other day, also joking...anyway, the oworker then goes...."if it's any consolation, I think you're so much more than common...." what do I do with that??? It's been on my mind all damn day!!!
Pretend that sentence never happened and hopefully that's the end of it....
Anything you lose from being honest You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
I am on facebook, trying to stay in touch with people from my hometown. I have made some fabulous friends there that I have never even met in person, but hope to meet one day. Lots of it has to do with PJ. Kind of funny how that goes. Suddenly you are in a conversation with women from three continents and it just feels like you are at a bar together. I am actually pretty happy with my life right now. I can see that something like "life envy" can exist through fb, but I totally love the brutal honesty and the hilarious wit of a lot of my friends on there. No one is really sugar coating. I guess I can count myself lucky even for my facebook friends.
I wanna wish everyone here a fantastic year 2015. For me and my hubs, it is shaping up to be one of the best years since we have come together. Our house is finally taking shape and everything is working out awesomely. I cannot wait for what the future holds for us
Please, Pearl Jam, consider a Benaroya Hall vinyl reissue!
I wanna wish everyone here a fantastic year 2015. For me and my hubs, it is shaping up to be one of the best years since we have come together. Our house is finally taking shape and everything is working out awesomely. I cannot wait for what the future holds for us
Happy New Year to you! I see a Benny re-issue in your future.
B-)
Ok, So i was talking with this male coworker this morning...and he called me a theif joking and that lead me to tell him how my husband called me a common criminal the other day, also joking...anyway, the oworker then goes...."if it's any consolation, I think you're so much more than common...." what do I do with that??? It's been on my mind all damn day!!!
Pretend that sentence never happened and hopefully that's the end of it....
Yeah...I ignored it at the time other than to blush...I know I blushed but I didn't look at him...he's a friend but it was just odd...and a little inappropriate...
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
I wanna wish everyone here a fantastic year 2015. For me and my hubs, it is shaping up to be one of the best years since we have come together. Our house is finally taking shape and everything is working out awesomely. I cannot wait for what the future holds for us
Happy New Year to you! I see a Benny re-issue in your future.
B-)
God, I love your optimism Have a wonderful new year, SD!!
Please, Pearl Jam, consider a Benaroya Hall vinyl reissue!
I make fb what I want. there are some really cool people on there, there are some not so cool people on there, but the ones who constantly post selfies with their friends looking like they are having a good time...I don't want their life, those people seem to always be the same people that always need to be the center of attention, kinda sad that they depend on others for their happiness. Those people are also 'surface people', there isn't much else deeper than what you see.
Never had an issue with whispering hands on fb, sure she had frustrating days, don't we all? But as a friend, you're supposed to be there for someone, to hear them out, you don't have to necessarily agree with whatever they are upset about, just listen, that's all any normal human being wants, just someone to listen to them. I hope to meet her one day.
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
I make fb what I want. there are some really cool people on there, there are some not so cool people on there, but the ones who constantly post selfies with their friends looking like they are having a good time...I don't want their life, those people seem to always be the same people that always need to be the center of attention, kinda sad that they depend on others for their happiness. Those people are also 'surface people', there isn't much else deeper than what you see.
Never had an issue with whispering hands on fb, sure she had frustrating days, don't we all? But as a friend, you're supposed to be there for someone, to hear them out, you don't have to necessarily agree with whatever they are upset about, just listen, that's all any normal human being wants, just someone to listen to them. I hope to meet her one day.
Thank you! I think that was one of the nicest things I've read in a really long time! :-) I hope to get to meet you one day as well. I know I probably " shared " too much of my personal woes and crap on FB as well as the crazy cool stuff, if not more so, but I also think it was just what you said. Deep down, I just needed to know I was heard. I think I get so jealous of people cause they are so normal, and I'm not. They can easily go hang out with other people, and I can't. I mean I CAN, but it is physically and mentally draining for me to be around people. When I go to shows, I have to take meds to go be around you guys.. I have to take them
To go to work. So I think I saw all these people going out and living their lives " happily" and I took it personally that I can't do that, and I used to be able to. I truly am more at peace with my life now that I've gotten rid of FB, and I try not to whine and cry on here, though some days I fail at that miserably, and I'm sorry for that. But sometimes things are not so easily ignored from the inside, and the Internet provides a safe place to 'get those things out'. Again thank you for what you said. It made my day. Can't wait to hang out with you!
This pesky cold/cough will just not go away! Hmph! Other than that, was a great, low key new years!
I hope 2015 brings lots of smiles, happiness, health, luck, success, and new adventures to all!
"Sometimes you find yourself having to put all your faith in no faith."
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2 2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
It's a PhD thesis (US= PhD dissertation). I'm submitting it in a couple of weeks. It's all printed up and comb-bound now, so I can't do any more tinkering around with it.
PJSiren, i can't Quote you because the forum's messed up and I'm on my phone, but re the "more than common" comment.... i think you're way over thinking it. Just take it for what it is - a kind comment. A compliment. Your friend just said a nice thing to you, and unless this person flirts with you regularly and it's making you uncomfortable, i see no reason why you should take it as anything other than him saying something nice. If someone of the opposite sex saying a nice thing in passing like that to a person is inappropriate, then that's kind of sad. More people should say little nice things to their friends/co-workers.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
PJSiren, i can't Quote you because the forum's messed up and I'm on my phone, but re the "more than common" comment.... i think you're way over thinking it. Just take it for what it is - a kind comment. A compliment. Your friend just said a nice thing to you, and unless this person flirts with you regularly and it's making you uncomfortable, i see no reason why you should take it as anything other than him saying something nice. If someone of the opposite sex saying a nice thing in passing like that to a person is inappropriate, then that's kind of sad. More people should say little nice things to their friends/co-workers.
Thanks, maybe I am...he doesn't flirt, he's quite a bit older than me and is also married, so I hope you are right, my best friend said the same that it was just a compliment...quite a compliment, but just a compliment, none the less....
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior! Tattooed Dissident!
Comments
Thats always a tough question. If you asked me in person I would automatically say yes as to avoid any emtional pampering and just move on.. Given this is the internet and there is more time to think before responding, I think it's less of a yes/no question and more of a scale 1-10 type. There are things that I love about my life and there are things that I could improve on. I think I would be a 6 or 7 if 10 was perfectly happy. The positives are that I don't live with my parents, I am completely independent, have a good job that I mostly enjoy, a steady paycheck, good education, my health is under control, etc. The things I am unhappy with are my lacking of really good friendships/significant other, my decrease in motivation since I graduated college, and just the repetitiveness of everything.
The problem is that I don't find the negative things that big of a deal. I have friends that I see when i want to, but the length between getherings has grown. I'm single and don't really have any prospects in that area.. but it's not like I am actively going to bars and trying to meet people. But I do realize that if I don't start seeking these things then my current life can sustain itself for years. I can go to work, eat, and come home every night doing the same old things and just let it be that way. It's funny the change in perspective that a stupid date can bring. The only thing that really changed between today and 12/31 last year was that I moved to a new apartment because rent was to high, and I got a raise. Yes 2 financially good decisions, but not really anything majorly life-affecting..
How about you Jenny, are you happy?
2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD
2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA
2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s7
Similar to you though, Frankie, I have no real friendships and I have actually never been in a relationship or even gone on a date! At 28, I feel like a lost cause. I think we differ in that this aspect of my life constantly brings me down. Sometimes when i'm really busy with sport I can distract myself from it, but never for long. Of course, as every year passes, I start to wonder if I'll ever have these relationships and if not, why not? Am I that different? Does the fact that I don't drink make me that much of a social outcast in this country? Or is it all my fault for being so shy and having no self-confidence to do anything about it?
That's one thing that's bugged me as an only child to senior citizen aged parents. People tend to look down on adult kids living with their parents, meanwhile it's not like I had much of a choice. I think it comes from the typical sort of tv family lifestyle of child goes to college and lives in dorm, child gets job, child moves elsewhere, child stays gone. Apparently this is something that actually happens in real life (or so I'm told). I never had that luxury - I was working 50 hours a week and doing school at night, before I could get that done my dad unexpectedly passed leaving my limited-mobility mother a widow. What exactly was I gonna do? "Oh sorry Ma I got a degree now so I'm off to find a high paying job in a bohemian city with a low cost of living, good luck shoveling your car out of the snow yourself!" Fuck outta here. Most of the people I know are the ones supporting their parent(s).
LIVEFOOTSTEPS.ORG/USER/?USR=435
It's hard not to feel that you're failing to tick life's boxes though. Getting a job is the only one I've managed, while my peers have had boyfriends, travelled the world, gotten engaged then married and now they're starting to have kids. While here I am, single and living at home. I'm sure I'm not the only one but sometimes it feels that way
Sure isn't it a fine New Year's Eve pity party i'm having haha
I'm really a Zombie. My username is really Withering Hands. ;-) hope things get smoother soon.
Tattooed Dissident!
Pretend that sentence never happened and hopefully that's the end of it....
You never really had to begin with.
Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
I wanna wish everyone here a fantastic year 2015. For me and my hubs, it is shaping up to be one of the best years since we have come together. Our house is finally taking shape and everything is working out awesomely. I cannot wait for what the future holds for us
Happy New Year to you! I see a Benny re-issue in your future.
B-)
Yeah...I ignored it at the time other than to blush...I know I blushed but I didn't look at him...he's a friend but it was just odd...and a little inappropriate...
Tattooed Dissident!
God, I love your optimism
Never had an issue with whispering hands on fb, sure she had frustrating days, don't we all? But as a friend, you're supposed to be there for someone, to hear them out, you don't have to necessarily agree with whatever they are upset about, just listen, that's all any normal human being wants, just someone to listen to them. I hope to meet her one day.
- Christopher McCandless
Thank you! I think that was one of the nicest things I've read in a really long time! :-) I hope to get to meet you one day as well. I know I probably " shared " too much of my personal woes and crap on FB as well as the crazy cool stuff, if not more so, but I also think it was just what you said. Deep down, I just needed to know I was heard. I think I get so jealous of people cause they are so normal, and I'm not. They can easily go hang out with other people, and I can't. I mean I CAN, but it is physically and mentally draining for me to be around people. When I go to shows, I have to take meds to go be around you guys.. I have to take them
To go to work. So I think I saw all these people going out and living their lives " happily" and I took it personally that I can't do that, and I used to be able to. I truly am more at peace with my life now that I've gotten rid of FB, and I try not to whine and cry on here, though some days I fail at that miserably, and I'm sorry for that. But sometimes things are not so easily ignored from the inside, and the Internet provides a safe place to 'get those things out'. Again thank you for what you said. It made my day. Can't wait to hang out with you!
this is the big question..truly happiness??..i'm not sure if anyone feels like that..
Prague Krakow Berlin 2018. Berlin 2022
EV, Taormina 1+2 2017.
I wish i was the souvenir you kept your house key on..
This made me smile. Thank you, Tree. Things are ok; I just need to stop answering my phone.
Glad I could make you Smile Susan.
I hope 2015 brings lots of smiles, happiness, health, luck, success, and new adventures to all!
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
Thanks, maybe I am...he doesn't flirt, he's quite a bit older than me and is also married, so I hope you are right, my best friend said the same that it was just a compliment...quite a compliment, but just a compliment, none the less....
Tattooed Dissident!
2010: 5/20 NY, 5/21 NY ... 2011: 6/21 EV NY, 9/3 WI, 9/4 WI ... 2012: 9/2 PA, 9/22 GA ... 2013: 10/18 NY, 10/19 NY, 10/21 PA, 10/22 PA, 10/27 MD
2015: 9/23 NY, 9/26 NY ... 2016: 4/28 PA, 4/29 PA, 5/1 NY, 5/2 NY, 6/11 TN, 8/7 MA, 11/4 TOTD PA, 11/5 TOTD PA ... 2018: 8/10 WA
2022: 9/14 NJ ... 2024: 5/28 WA, 9/7 PA, 9/9 PA ---- http://imgur.com/a/nk0s7