Post your best "Dad" Joke
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JOEJOEJOE
Posts: 10,821
An attorney walks into an orthodontist's office to pick up his retainer........
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My wife asked me if I thought the kids were spoiled...I said "no, I think they're supposed to smell like that."0
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hey!!pull my finger_____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________
Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '140 -
My dad was a joke.
this song is meant to be called i got shit,itshould be called i got shit tickets-hartford 06 -0 -
I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.0
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so far so good........anyone else got one?0
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"Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"0
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You guys know that album Vs.?
It's also got choruses!Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila, PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13; Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22; Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24; Pittsburgh 5/16/25; Pittsburgh 5/18/25
Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/160 -
^Nice original one^
this guy walked into a bar.
He got a bump on his head.0 -
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk0 -
markymark550 said:What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milkSpectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila, PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13; Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22; Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24; Pittsburgh 5/16/25; Pittsburgh 5/18/25
Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/160 -
Johnny Abruzzo said:markymark550 said:What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk0 -
Why was 6 afraid of 7?0
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Here’s one from Nick Cave:
"Don't try calling a tinnitus helpline, it just keeps on ringing.“
✌🏼❤️0 -
"Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"0
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Why is a doctor always calm? They have a lot of patients.0
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Man and a woman are on top of a building. It's burning down. They both know it's the end.
Woman says, "Johnny, one last time, make me a feel like a woman!".
Johnny takes off his clothes and says "Fold these"..
Yes, I know it's terribly sexist. But I'm a woman so I get to tell it.
She/hers.0 -
mrussel1 said:Man and a woman are on top of a building. It's burning down. They both know it's the end.
Woman says, "Johnny, one last time, make me a feel like a woman!".
Johnny takes off his clothes and says "Fold these"..
Yes, I know it's terribly sexist. But I'm a woman so I get to tell it.
She/hers.Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila, PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13; Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22; Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24; Pittsburgh 5/16/25; Pittsburgh 5/18/25
Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/160 -
My doctor told me I'm going deaf.The news was hard for me to hear.0
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When does a joke become a "dad Joke"?When it's apparent."It's a sad and beautiful world"-Roberto Benigni0
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