Post your best "Dad" Joke

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  • Spiritual_Chaos
    Spiritual_Chaos Posts: 31,453
    edited November 2022
    bootlegger10 said:
    Why is a doctor always calm?   They have a lot of patients.  
    How can you tell your Doctor is a Guns N Roses fan?

    He has a lot of patients
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • ymalkiel
    ymalkiel Posts: 132
    I misplaced my watch the other day. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent looking for it. 
    ✌🏼❤️
  • Loujoe
    Loujoe Posts: 11,691
     I know a little bunny, his nose is kinda runny. People think it's funny but itsnot
  • mrussel1
    mrussel1 Posts: 30,879
    brianlux said:
    When does a joke become a "dad Joke"?
    When it's apparent.
    Haha, this is good
  • Loujoe
    Loujoe Posts: 11,691
    How do you keep a jerk in suspense?
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,801
    :lol:
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,337
    Loujoe said:
    How do you keep a jerk in suspense?

    this is rude. I get the impression you'll never tell me.
    _____________________________________SIGNATURE________________________________________________

    Not today Sir, Probably not tomorrow.............................................. bayfront arena st. pete '94
    you're finally here and I'm a mess................................................... nationwide arena columbus '10
    memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.................................... first niagara center buffalo '13
    another man ..... moved by sleight of hand...................................... joe louis arena detroit '14
  • Johnny Abruzzo
    Johnny Abruzzo Philly Posts: 12,355
    When someone from Beirut lies to you…

    thats Lebanon Boloney 
    Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila,  PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13; Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22; Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24; Pittsburgh 5/16/25; Pittsburgh 5/18/25

    Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/16
  • eeriepadave
    eeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 43,172
    I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but then i turned myself around.
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,660
    There were two peanuts walking down the street. One was a salted.

    (That is literally my dad's favourite joke, and has been since at least 1982)
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Johnny Abruzzo
    Johnny Abruzzo Philly Posts: 12,355
    For May 4 coming up.

    What award did Chewbacca win?
    Wookie of the Year!
    Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila,  PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13; Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22; Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24; Pittsburgh 5/16/25; Pittsburgh 5/18/25

    Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/16
  • northerndragon
    northerndragon Posts: 9,851
    I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit.

    It was a lamb bikini.
    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • eeriepadave
    eeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 43,172
    What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

    An irrelephant
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • mookeywrench
    mookeywrench Posts: 6,057
    The government is efficient and the IRS is your friend.
    350x700px-LL-d2f49cb4_vinyl-needle-scu-e1356666258495.jpeg
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,801
    mookeywrench said:
    The government is efficient and the IRS is your friend.
    Best joke ever!
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • northerndragon
    northerndragon Posts: 9,851
    What's a kidnappers favorite shoes?

    White vans 

    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • northerndragon
    northerndragon Posts: 9,851
    Why was everyone excited at the autopsy club?

    It was open mike night

    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • nicknyr15
    nicknyr15 Posts: 9,211
    What do you call it when Batman misses church on Sunday?

    christian bail 
  • Johnny Abruzzo
    Johnny Abruzzo Philly Posts: 12,355
    What's the best football play to run in the snow? The SHOVEL PASS.
    Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila,  PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13; Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22; Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24; Pittsburgh 5/16/25; Pittsburgh 5/18/25

    Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/16
  • Purple Fairy Tree
    Purple Fairy Tree Posts: 2,055
    I once told a science joke, there was no reaction. 

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