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Post your best "Dad" Joke

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  • Johnny AbruzzoJohnny Abruzzo Philly Posts: 11,828
    For May 4 coming up.

    What award did Chewbacca win?
    Wookie of the Year!
    Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila, PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13;
    Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22;
    Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24

    Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/16
  • northerndragonnortherndragon Posts: 9,851
    I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit.

    It was a lamb bikini.
    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • eeriepadaveeeriepadave West Chester, PA Posts: 42,312
    What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

    An irrelephant
    8/28/98- Camden, NJ
    10/31/09- Philly
    5/21/10- NYC
    9/2/12- Philly, PA
    7/19/13- Wrigley
    10/19/13- Brooklyn, NY
    10/21/13- Philly, PA
    10/22/13- Philly, PA
    10/27/13- Baltimore, MD
    4/28/16- Philly, PA
    4/29/16- Philly, PA
    5/1/16- NYC
    5/2/16- NYC
    9/2/18- Boston, MA
    9/4/18- Boston, MA
    9/14/22- Camden, NJ
    9/7/24- Philly, PA
    9/9/24- Philly, PA
    Tres Mts.- 3/23/11- Philly. PA
    Eddie Vedder- 6/25/11- Philly, PA
    RNDM- 3/9/16- Philly, PA
  • mookeywrenchmookeywrench Posts: 5,939
    The government is efficient and the IRS is your friend.
    350x700px-LL-d2f49cb4_vinyl-needle-scu-e1356666258495.jpeg
  • F Me In The BrainF Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,525
    mookeywrench said:
    The government is efficient and the IRS is your friend.
    Best joke ever!
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • northerndragonnortherndragon Posts: 9,851
    What's a kidnappers favorite shoes?

    White vans 

    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • northerndragonnortherndragon Posts: 9,851
    Why was everyone excited at the autopsy club?

    It was open mike night

    Anything you lose from being honest
    You never really had to begin with.


    Sometimes it's not the song that makes you emotional it's the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it.
  • nicknyr15nicknyr15 Posts: 8,660
    What do you call it when Batman misses church on Sunday?

    christian bail 
  • Johnny AbruzzoJohnny Abruzzo Philly Posts: 11,828
    What's the best football play to run in the snow? The SHOVEL PASS.
    Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila, PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13;
    Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22;
    Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24

    Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/16
  • Purple Fairy TreePurple Fairy Tree Posts: 1,975
    I once told a science joke, there was no reaction. 
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,639
    A lawyer went to the dentist to pick up his retainer.........
  • mookieblalockmookieblalock Posts: 3,383
    When does a joke become a dad joke?

    when it’s apparent. 
  • Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 13,360
    What does a yellow light meant? Slow down. W h a t  d o e s  a  y e l l o w  l i g h t  m e a n? Infamous Taxi bit, but famous in my house as a dad joke.
  • Johnny AbruzzoJohnny Abruzzo Philly Posts: 11,828
    Get_Right said:
    What does a yellow light meant? Slow down. W h a t  d o e s  a  y e l l o w  l i g h t  m e a n? Infamous Taxi bit, but famous in my house as a dad joke.
    more like whatdoesayellowlightmean!!!

    Why did Taylor Swift send back her breakfast in Ireland? Bad Blood Sausage.
    Spectrum 10/27/09; New Orleans JazzFest 5/1/10; Made in America 9/2/12; Phila, PA 10/21/13; Phila, PA 10/22/13; Baltimore Arena 10/27/13;
    Phila, PA 4/28/16; Phila, PA 4/29/16; Fenway Park 8/7/16; Fenway Park 9/2/18; Asbury Park 9/18/21; Camden 9/14/22;
    Las Vegas 5/16/24; Las Vegas 5/18/24; Phila, PA 9/7/24; Phila, PA 9/9/24; Baltimore Arena 9/12/24

    Tres Mtns - TLA 3/23/11; EV - Tower Theatre 6/25/11; Temple of the Dog - Tower Theatre 11/5/16
  • CarryTheZeroCarryTheZero Posts: 3,060
    How do you know a bad drummer is at the door?

    The knock speeds up.
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