why does religion compel females to apologize?

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  • cblock4life
    cblock4life Posts: 1,855
    blondieblue227 said:
    hedonist said:

    Also, apologize out of a legit sense of having committed some kind of wrong. DON’T do it if “that’s the thing” or it’s demanded.

    Not all apologies are necessary. 

    If nothing was done wrong....
    Does anybody know(or take a guess) why a person repeatedly apologizes and connects that behavior to Jesus?

    Does my friend's Jesus demand her apologize nearly every time we interact?

    I think I'll ask her that, because I want to understand.

    Religion is so weird to me. It does strange things to people's minds. Or maybe the person was weird to begin with and religion magnifies it?
    I think it can be both.  If you’re really looking for somewhere to belong I think everyone believes religions solve that problem.  I’ve seen totally normal friends find God/religion based on an experience and change completely and stay that way so who am I to say they didn’t experience something.  You’ll feel better if you speak with your friend. Your mind is running wild with questions and speculation so better to know the truth. 
  • Malroth
    Malroth broken down chevrolet Posts: 2,557
    I find a genuine apology is really easy to tell if sincere.

    Other times it's just easier to say sorry, than "I didn't mean to hit you with my grocery cart, I was looking the other way"
    It's almost always the response when someone tells you about a death, even if you didn't kill them.

    I say it a lot out of habit in these instances.

    I remember a section of the book "Americanah" Where a nigerian woman wonders why this country says sorry so much, even when
    we did nothing wrong.  So it may be cultural?
    The worst of times..they don't phase me,
    even if I look and act really crazy.
  • oftenreading
    oftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,856


    Why does religion compel buses to apologize? 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,813
    :lol:
    The love he receives is the love that is saved
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Ha!
  • blondieblue227
    blondieblue227 Va, USA Posts: 4,509
    edited July 2021
    I thank Ten Club for allowing chat of Religion. Most Facebook groups don't and it's frustrating. As lost as the original person starting the chat is not antagonizing can be healthy to communicate with other online.

    My friend watched the video I asked her to and responded to me. I'm not going to push her anymore on the issue. I am going to use thoughts gathered in this chat and write a letter to her. I'll keep it and I might email it to her if the repeat sorry starts again.

    I'm a survivor of Parental Narcissistic Abuse. They would say sorry and do the same hurtful thing 3 days later. They would also make up things (create lies) they wanted me to be sorry for. So that's why "I'm sorry" triggers me.
    I have to be in the wrong and mean it for the words "I'm sorry." to come out of my mouth. (yes, that will be in the letter)

    possible reasons she's repeatedly saying Sorry
    - Her perception of religion (she mention Jesus in her thoughts after watching video)
    - How she was raised
    - The need to belong (this concept is confusing to me, maybe because I'm ok with not belonging at times. As a motivator to repeatedly apologize in order to be included, I understand)


    Nobody has on commented how/why females in America apologize.
    (ranking order/caste)

    Post edited by blondieblue227 on
    *~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*

  • PJPOWER
    PJPOWER Posts: 6,499
    edited July 2021
    I think it’s probably best to not make too many assumptions, as there could be several reasons for people “over-apologizing”.  Low self-confidence, anxiety, etc could be contributing factors.  It’s not only a religious thing and it’s not an “American” thing.  In fact, the British do it more than Americans according to this article:
    https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/16/saying-im-sorry-can-make-people-think-poorly-of-you-research-heres-what-successful-people-do-instead.html
    It is annoying when people over-apologize, in the same way filler words can be annoying when someone is presenting.
    Question is, what made you deduce that it is a Christian or American thing?  Maybe you are drawing false conclusions based on your own personal biases related to those topics?  

    Post edited by PJPOWER on
  • lastexitlondon
    lastexitlondon Posts: 14,898
    I cant see this  as a woman or religion  problem.. we all have scars . Narcissists cause so much damage. Traumas of any kind mould us. Good and bad


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  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    lastexitlondon said:
    I cant see this  as a woman or religion  problem.. we all have scars . Narcissists cause so much damage. Traumas of any kind mould us. Good and bad
    Agreed. Can’t speak for others but I’ve never apologized for my “religion” (it’s complicated) or because I’m a woman. My stepdad pulled that mind game shit with me and I wasn’t having it. Won’t have it, from anyone.

    I’ll never do that to others, or to myself. It’s fruitless.

    And maybe I’m fortunate (?) but I haven’t seen this prevalence of apologizing among the women I know. 
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    hedonist said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    I cant see this  as a woman or religion  problem.. we all have scars . Narcissists cause so much damage. Traumas of any kind mould us. Good and bad
    Agreed. Can’t speak for others but I’ve never apologized for my “religion” (it’s complicated) or because I’m a woman. My stepdad pulled that mind game shit with me and I wasn’t having it. Won’t have it, from anyone.

    I’ll never do that to others, or to myself. It’s fruitless.

    And maybe I’m fortunate (?) but I haven’t seen this prevalence of apologizing among the women I know. 
    Sounds like you hang out with a buncha self-righteous bitches, man. :tongue:
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    dankind said:
    hedonist said:
    lastexitlondon said:
    I cant see this  as a woman or religion  problem.. we all have scars . Narcissists cause so much damage. Traumas of any kind mould us. Good and bad
    Agreed. Can’t speak for others but I’ve never apologized for my “religion” (it’s complicated) or because I’m a woman. My stepdad pulled that mind game shit with me and I wasn’t having it. Won’t have it, from anyone.

    I’ll never do that to others, or to myself. It’s fruitless.

    And maybe I’m fortunate (?) but I haven’t seen this prevalence of apologizing among the women I know. 
    Sounds like you hang out with a buncha self-righteous bitches, man. :tongue:
    Birds of a feather… =)
  • Malroth
    Malroth broken down chevrolet Posts: 2,557
    Guest host on jeopardy (female) said sorry quite a bit tonight when someone answered incorrectly.
    The worst of times..they don't phase me,
    even if I look and act really crazy.
  • cblock4life
    cblock4life Posts: 1,855
    Malroth said:
    Guest host on jeopardy (female) said sorry quite a bit tonight when someone answered incorrectly.
    Robin Roberts?  Black, gay, raised in a military family…..she probably apologizes without even realizing it considering she’s probably felt like she had to apologize her entire life.  She seems like a sweet person. 
  • mickeyrat
    mickeyrat Posts: 44,430
    cblock4life said:
    Malroth said:
    Guest host on jeopardy (female) said sorry quite a bit tonight when someone answered incorrectly.
    Robin Roberts?  Black, gay, raised in a military family…..she probably apologizes without even realizing it considering she’s probably felt like she had to apologize her entire life.  She seems like a sweet person. 

    ummm Alex Trebek apologized all the time when contestants gave a wrong answer.
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  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    Dom DeLuise should've hosted Jeopardy so that for every incorrect response, we would've gotten a


     


    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • OnWis97
    OnWis97 St. Paul, MN Posts: 5,610
    mickeyrat said:
    cblock4life said:
    Malroth said:
    Guest host on jeopardy (female) said sorry quite a bit tonight when someone answered incorrectly.
    Robin Roberts?  Black, gay, raised in a military family…..she probably apologizes without even realizing it considering she’s probably felt like she had to apologize her entire life.  She seems like a sweet person. 

    ummm Alex Trebek apologized all the time when contestants gave a wrong answer.
    Sometimes, though, he offset that by being snarky.
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  • cblock4life
    cblock4life Posts: 1,855
    dankind said:
    Dom DeLuise should've hosted Jeopardy so that for every incorrect response, we would've gotten a


     


    This would have been awesome 
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    dankind said:
    Dom DeLuise should've hosted Jeopardy so that for every incorrect response, we would've gotten a


     


    Love ol’ Dom. Fatso for the win!

    I always thought he was secretly Paul Prudhomme when I was a kid. 
  • F Me In The Brain
    F Me In The Brain this knows everybody from other commets Posts: 31,813
    hedonist said:
    dankind said:
    Dom DeLuise should've hosted Jeopardy so that for every incorrect response, we would've gotten a


     


    Love ol’ Dom. Fatso for the win!

    I always thought he was secretly Paul Prudhomme when I was a kid. 
    Hahahaha.
    I so get that.
    The love he receives is the love that is saved

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