I have seen 3 therapists in the last couple of years, after trying so hard to find one at all. It seems like they’re all full and aren’t accepting new patients. That is especially frustrating for someone with severe anxiety. None of the three I saw worked out. The first informed me in a very long document that she reports everything. It made me immediately reluctant to talk about anything. The second tried to teach me mindfulness and I failed miserably. The third just agreed with me on everything. Not helpful. I know I’m not always right.
The whole process is so frustrating but important. And so the search continues...
That sucks, RS. I'm not surprised therapist and counselors are booked these day. I'll bet a lot of therapists have therapists themselves. And some of them (as you've may have seen) are probably in the wrong business. But the good people are out there and I hope you not only find one available, but a really good one too! Keep trying!
Meanwhile, we're all here, doing what we can for each other. Thank goodness. Hang in there!
My last therapist was a big CBT twat. I told her that CBT is an absolute fail for someone like me, but she still attempted to lead the treatment in that direction. So, no more therapist.
My second therapist did DBT. Kept trying to get me to be less emotional and more logical. It worked some, but me? Not emotional? Come on now. Like that’ll happen.
Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day.
Great on you RS! The search for someone you can really relate to and trust is very daunting and I hope you find someone who is able to help. It took me a few tries but I did have a great therapist. Now I've relocated my search begins again but I am determined not to give up also. All the best! Hang in there.
I totally understand where you're both coming from. I've gone to counseling a number of times over the years and had real mixed luck finding good ones.
Years ago when I was at my lowest and almost did myself in, I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist. I was thinking I would get some counseling but, no, this guy just wanted to have me take strong meds. The second time I saw him I started talking about the botched relationship that was a big part of my woes and the guy scolded me saying, "I don't want to talk about that.". I think I actually said, "Well then, fuck you." I know I walked out of his office and slammed the door. > good one for leaving @brianlux
Another time, I was telling my therapist (a different one) that I believed it would help me if I could have my own space in the house I was living in and think of it as my space. He chastised me harshly saying, "You're in a relationship. What makes you think you have the right to have your own space?" Can you believe that shit?
> Appaling attitude @brianlux - I saw a CBT therapist last year mainly for bereavement but turned out she was a nasty cold bitch. I walked out on her 10 mins into her session and never looked back. Should have done it weeks before.
So yes, it really takes some searching to find a good one. My suggestion (and this is from having work as program assistant for a counseling training program which itself helped me to find my way to firm ground) is to seek out a counselor who is at least familiar with names like Virginia Satir and Carl Rogers and who is competent in utilizing what is called "client [or person] centered therapy". (Wikipedia has a good basic description of that kind of work). That at least will give you a clue that the therapist understands the value of "the client's perception of the therapist's genuineness, the therapist's
unconditional positive regard for the client, and accurate empathy."
Well, therapy did not go well. I couldn’t even finish the session. I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure she’s a wonderful therapist but it was not a good fit. I really need to trust my intuition more. Could’ve saved myself a drive and her valuable appointment time. Normally, this would confirm my fears and I’d give up. But not this time. So, back to my search for a therapist. That was a really rough couple of hours but I won’t let it spoil my day.
Great on you RS! The search for someone you can really relate to and trust is very daunting and I hope you find someone who is able to help. It took me a few tries but I did have a great therapist. Now I've relocated my search begins again but I am determined not to give up also. All the best! Hang in there.
I totally understand where you're both coming from. I've gone to counseling a number of times over the years and had real mixed luck finding good ones.
Years ago when I was at my lowest and almost did myself in, I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist. I was thinking I would get some counseling but, no, this guy just wanted to have me take strong meds. The second time I saw him I started talking about the botched relationship that was a big part of my woes and the guy scolded me saying, "I don't want to talk about that.". I think I actually said, "Well then, fuck you." I know I walked out of his office and slammed the door. > good one for leaving @brianlux
Another time, I was telling my therapist (a different one) that I believed it would help me if I could have my own space in the house I was living in and think of it as my space. He chastised me harshly saying, "You're in a relationship. What makes you think you have the right to have your own space?" Can you believe that shit?
> Appaling attitude @brianlux - I saw a CBT therapist last year mainly for bereavement but turned out she was a nasty cold bitch. I walked out on her 10 mins into her session and never looked back. Should have done it weeks before.
So yes, it really takes some searching to find a good one. My suggestion (and this is from having work as program assistant for a counseling training program which itself helped me to find my way to firm ground) is to seek out a counselor who is at least familiar with names like Virginia Satir and Carl Rogers and who is competent in utilizing what is called "client [or person] centered therapy". (Wikipedia has a good basic description of that kind of work). That at least will give you a clue that the therapist understands the value of "the client's perception of the therapist's genuineness, the therapist's
unconditional positive regard for the client, and accurate empathy."
Thank you so much for posting a link about person-centered therapy, Dreamgirl. Carl Rogers and Virginia Satire are heroes of the world of therapy for their ground breaking work in that field!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.
0
Options
brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,675
The fire situation here in the west combined with the constant weeks long horrible air quality, concern over COVID-19, and worrying about the upcoming election are providing a stellar opportunity to show how well I can deal with depression and anxiety. If only my performance of doing so were as stellar...
Anybody know of another planet to live on?
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
The fire situation here in the west combined with the constant weeks long horrible air quality, concern over COVID-19, and worrying about the upcoming election are providing a stellar opportunity to show how well I can deal with depression and anxiety. If only my performance of doing so were as stellar...
Anybody know of another planet to live on?
I’d advise you to take a deep breath but under these circumstances, that might just kill you.
Anyone know how to do a rain dance?
And if you find that planet, let me know.
In the meantime, stay safe. Sending good thoughts your way.
0
Options
brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,675
The fire situation here in the west combined with the constant weeks long horrible air quality, concern over COVID-19, and worrying about the upcoming election are providing a stellar opportunity to show how well I can deal with depression and anxiety. If only my performance of doing so were as stellar...
Anybody know of another planet to live on?
I’d advise you to take a deep breath but under these circumstances, that might just kill you.
Anyone know how to do a rain dance?
And if you find that planet, let me know.
In the meantime, stay safe. Sending good thoughts your way.
"take a deep breath" made me laugh. Humor is the best medicine.
Thank you, RS! Your kind words are much appreciated!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
The fire situation here in the west combined with the constant weeks long horrible air quality, concern over COVID-19, and worrying about the upcoming election are providing a stellar opportunity to show how well I can deal with depression and anxiety. If only my performance of doing so were as stellar...
Anybody know of another planet to live on?
Sending warm thoughts your way Brian. This year has provided a lot for everyone’s plate. I share your concerns too. Just keep reaching out and talking. And remember, “this too shall pass.”
"What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
0
Options
brianlux
Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,675
The fire situation here in the west combined with the constant weeks long horrible air quality, concern over COVID-19, and worrying about the upcoming election are providing a stellar opportunity to show how well I can deal with depression and anxiety. If only my performance of doing so were as stellar...
Anybody know of another planet to live on?
Sending warm thoughts your way Brian. This year has provided a lot for everyone’s plate. I share your concerns too. Just keep reaching out and talking. And remember, “this too shall pass.”
Thank you for the encouragement, Fifth!
I've been keeping my thoughts from my wife lately (which is kind of dumb of me because she can read me like a book). I told her that cutting way back on the work I enjoy doing, not getting out much, worrying about EVERYTHING (my "fatal character flaw" as a friend once put it), moving less, and breathing bad air, cumulatively has affected my physical health and bumped up my depression. I told her that the one thing that helps me keep it together (besides her and the cat, of course) is knowing that things can get better and I have hope that they will.
Your reminding me that "this too shall pass" is just the thing I need to keep remembering. Thank you!
I hope you're doing as well as possible, Fifth!
And all you wonderful PJ people. You guys are the best.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Comments
Thank you so much for posting a link about person-centered therapy, Dreamgirl. Carl Rogers and Virginia Satire are heroes of the world of therapy for their ground breaking work in that field!
"what a long, strange trip it's been"