For the single people...Do any of you plan on staying single by choice? My Dad had 2 cousins who choose to be single. One did eventually marry, in his 70's, he died about 2 years later...
I crave love. But then I feel like I don't want a relationship. I'd like companionship but not the arguments, having to fit in with her family and social group who I may not like etc.
Have you tried sped dating? Many places arrange speed dating for free, check out the community news. No idea how you avoid conflict/argument, it's part of life ... it's more important how you handle conflict, unfortunately, most people have never been taught good conflict resolution skills. Your last sentence is normal fears. Just be yourself. You do not want someone who can not except you, as you.
I've considered it as I refuse to try online dating. Not just the acceptance of me as me but the having to put up with people I don't like. Plus seeing how my two sisters' marriages have turned to shit has left me feeling less than optimistic about marriages. As well as what I learned at university, passion fades over time, we habituate to our partner and that is why people break up or cheat.
That why I suggested speed dating. Do like playing cards/board games ... some community centres host things like this. Have you tried meetup.com? Sadly, lots and lots of marriage's turn to shit these days. And lots and lots of marriages are going to turn to shit. It is true, with some the passion fades. Some it's a mid-life crisis that ends the marriage, affairs, spouse wants a different life...whatever it is. My Mom who was married to my Dad for over 50 years until she passed, always said people need to learn forgiveness to have successful marriages.
I thought about speed dating and it's probably the only way I'll try to find love. Haven't tried meetup.com, a psychologist I used to see kept suggesting it to me as a way to make friends. I didn't know meetup.com is for dating? I don't know how to play card games lol, never been into them. Board games I never play.
Meetup.com is probably your best option specifically because it's not actually for dating, per se. But lots of people use it just to get out there and do stuff with other people, hoping that maybe they'll more naturally form a connection with people they end up meeting. It's apparently very effective, and FAR less pressure that actual dating apps and whatnot. And if you don't meet someone to date, you still go out and enjoy other people's company, maybe make some new friends. Win-win. I've suggested you try this at least a couple times before. You came up with lame reasons why you didn't want to try, as usual.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Forgot to add, When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared.
Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories.
Yep, my folks learned to stop bringing it up years ago. I got hounded all thru my 20s about “When are we getting grandkids?” It took a few hundred times of answering “From me, never.” before they finally got the picture.
I'm lucky. My parents don't give a shit about this at all. My dad actually thinks not having kids was the best decision I ever made. I think if he could do it all over, he'd make the same decision (kind of an insult to me and my sister, but whatever, hahaha). My mom doesn't mind either, although maybe she would if my sister didn't have two kids. But even if she hadn't, there is no way my mother would ever think to bug me about doing something I don't want to do just because she would like grandchildren. My mom's good that way! She has always said that all she wants for me is to be happy and content with whatever I choose to do with my life, and she's always afforded me the freedom to do what I want, even when I was a kid. She never tried to force me to do shit I wasn't into or try to steer me in a direction I didn't really want to go. Parental pressures were simply not something I ever experienced.
Post edited by PJ_Soul on
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
Forgot to add, When my mum mentions my future children I tell her that it won't happen and she gets all sad and scared.
Having children just because your mother wants grandchildren is one of the worst reasons to have children. They aren't accessories.
Yep, my folks learned to stop bringing it up years ago. I got hounded all thru my 20s about “When are we getting grandkids?” It took a few hundred times of answering “From me, never.” before they finally got the picture.
I'm lucky. My parents don't give a shit about this at all. My dad actually thinks not having kids was the best decision I ever made. I think if he could do it all over, he'd make the same decision (kind of an insult to me and my sister, but whatever, hahaha). My mom doesn't mind either, although maybe she would if my sister didn't have two kids. But even if she hadn't, there is no way my mother would ever think to bug me about doing something I don't want to do just because she would like grandchildren. My mom's good that way! She has always said that all she wants for me is to be happy and content with whatever I choose to do with my life, and she's always afforded me the freedom to do what I want, even when I was a kid. She never tried to force me to do shit I wasn't into or try to steer me in a direction I didn't really want to go. Parental pressures were simply not something I ever experienced.
My flack came mostly from my dad & stepmom. My mom has only ever made a comment or two, never really bugged me about it and hasn't said anything since at least my late 20s. She's the same way, just wants me to be happy with whatever I want. My dad on the other hand has always seemed to want me to be a spitting image of him. And while we are alike in many idiosyncratic ways, what we want out of life couldn't be more opposite.
If you are religious or Christian church outings are a great place to meet people. I know men who have joined a church just for social outings, and these men are not very religious, if at all. Churches don't care, as long as you act sincerely.
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Meetup.com is probably your best option specifically because it's not actually for dating, per se. But lots of people use it just to get out there and do stuff with other people, hoping that maybe they'll more naturally form a connection with people they end up meeting. It's apparently very effective, and FAR less pressure that actual dating apps and whatnot. And if you don't meet someone to date, you still go out and enjoy other people's company, maybe make some new friends. Win-win. I've suggested you try this at least a couple times before. You came up with lame reasons why you didn't want to try, as usual.
I know about pain and suffering and being cold.
But I just wanna fuck!
Juggler, every belly should have a quality breakfast in it (even if for dinner). It helps provide the fortitude to continue the pursuit of Agnes.