Do you find the term "homo" offensive?

F Me In The Brain · February 2018

dignin said:

F Me In The Brain said:

People can find anything offensive.
Do you have any male, gay, friends? Listen to how harsh they can be. Homo is on the tame side. They are joking the same way that I joke with my 250+ pound friend by calling him a fat bastard and hiding food when he comes over. (Or pointing out that some of my patio furniture chairs have tags on the bottom stating there is a 200 lb limit...so he needs to sit elsewhere. "The ground doesn't have any limit.")
Could be that I am friends with assholes, no matter where they are on the sex spectrum.
Context.

Well yeah, I say offensive things to my friends all the time...and they throw it right back. But that's my friends and in a private setting, it wouldn't be appropriate to say those things to strangers and in public....because they are offensive.

Agree. And...I wouldn't say many of the things I say to my friends...to my friends, in public. Just to be considerate of those around us.

PJ_Soul · February 2018

rgambs said:

I don't think there are many contexts in which homo is not deliberately meant to be offensive.
Most people who use words like homo and debate PC do so with the intent to be antagonistic. They want to be offensive because they are bitter and grumpy.
I say that as someone who is prone to bitterness and grumpiness.

There are plenty... particularly when gay people use it, and I've heard that tons of times. I don't have a horse in this race - I do not struggle with this issue of "on no, have I accidentally offended a gay person??" at all. I don't use terms related to homosexuality as slang... not anymore that is. There was a time when saying "that is so gay" or whatever to say that something is stupid or lame was completely commonplace - I think it was almost like muscle memory at the time for people. But even then, not once did I ever mentally connect that use of the word with actual gay people. It never even occurred to me - it's like they were two completely different words to me. That said, I'd never say it now. It has become unacceptable to use that word in a negative context, and quite right.

josevolution · February 2018

It is !

brianlux · February 2018

F Me In The Brain said:

People can find anything offensive.
Do you have any male, gay, friends? Listen to how harsh they can be. Homo is on the tame side. They are joking the same way that I joke with my 250+ pound friend by calling him a fat bastard and hiding food when he comes over. (Or pointing out that some of my patio furniture chairs have tags on the bottom stating there is a 200 lb limit...so he needs to sit elsewhere. "The ground doesn't have any limit.")
Could be that I am friends with assholes, no matter where they are on the sex spectrum.
Context.

How you talk to a friend is a different matter. In the early 80's I had a gay friend, M.K., (one of the first to die in the AIDS epidemic- great guy, very difficult loss). I could have called him "queer" when that was even more highly offense than it is today, although I never did) and he would have just laughed. He joked with me a lot. One time, a group of friends were walking down the street after we had all had a drink in one of M.K.'s favorite bars in the S.F. Castro District, The Stud, and I bent over to tie my shoe. M.K. was walking behind me and when I bent over he sang out, "Cheerio-o-o-o-o-s!" That was a riot. Would he do that do a stranger. No. Would I refer to any gay person I didn't have a friendship with as "queer" or "fag" or "homo"? Absolutely not.

PJ_Soul · February 2018

brianlux said:

F Me In The Brain said:

People can find anything offensive.
Do you have any male, gay, friends? Listen to how harsh they can be. Homo is on the tame side. They are joking the same way that I joke with my 250+ pound friend by calling him a fat bastard and hiding food when he comes over. (Or pointing out that some of my patio furniture chairs have tags on the bottom stating there is a 200 lb limit...so he needs to sit elsewhere. "The ground doesn't have any limit.")
Could be that I am friends with assholes, no matter where they are on the sex spectrum.
Context.

How you talk to a friend is a different matter. In the early 80's I had a gay friend, M.K., (one of the first to die in the AIDS epidemic- great guy, very difficult loss). I could have called him "queer" when that was even more highly offense than it is today, although I never did) and he would have just laughed. He joked with me a lot. One time, a group of friends were walking down the street after we had all had a drink in one of M.K.'s favorite bars in the S.F. Castro District, The Stud, and I bent over to tie my shoe. M.K. was walking behind me and when I bent over he sang out, "Cheerio-o-o-o-o-s!" That was a riot. Would he do that do a stranger. No. Would I refer to any gay person I didn't have a friendship with as "queer" or "fag" or "homo"? Absolutely not.

Well god no. Anyone who does that is probably a homophobe or really, really fucking stupid, or both.

F Me In The Brain · February 2018

brianlux said:

F Me In The Brain said:

People can find anything offensive.
Do you have any male, gay, friends? Listen to how harsh they can be. Homo is on the tame side. They are joking the same way that I joke with my 250+ pound friend by calling him a fat bastard and hiding food when he comes over. (Or pointing out that some of my patio furniture chairs have tags on the bottom stating there is a 200 lb limit...so he needs to sit elsewhere. "The ground doesn't have any limit.")
Could be that I am friends with assholes, no matter where they are on the sex spectrum.
Context.

How you talk to a friend is a different matter. In the early 80's I had a gay friend, M.K., (one of the first to die in the AIDS epidemic- great guy, very difficult loss). I could have called him "queer" when that was even more highly offense than it is today, although I never did) and he would have just laughed. He joked with me a lot. One time, a group of friends were walking down the street after we had all had a drink in one of M.K.'s favorite bars in the S.F. Castro District, The Stud, and I bent over to tie my shoe. M.K. was walking behind me and when I bent over he sang out, "Cheerio-o-o-o-o-s!" That was a riot. Would he do that do a stranger. No. Would I refer to any gay person I didn't have a friendship with as "queer" or "fag" or "homo"? Absolutely not.

Yep, I get it. Sorry about MK btw, that sucks.
My boss and I were out drinking in CA my last trip out there and these two dudes were next to us and wayyyy more drunk than we were. They started asking us how long we had been together, if our wives knew...all sorts of stuff like that, to try and throw us off.
We played it up, it was funny. Talked all sorts of urban dictionary type terms with them.
(A few of my wife's gay buddies from LA used to mess with me every single time we went out in a group. Constantly try to embarrass me -- until they learned it is about impossible to accomplish. A few drunken gay dudes messing with me as a grown adult did nothing but make me laugh. I know I like vaginas.)
They went off to find some other people to pick on.
Not sure what sort of harassment that would qualify as. We thought it was funny, though.
Not so sure some others might....and that is what they seemed to be looking for.

dankind · February 2018

I find Homo Larry to be offensive.

Image: https://bluelinestation.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/100/files/2016/09/8853229-dancing-larry-nhl-columbus-blue-jackets-new-york-rangers.jpg

brianlux · February 2018

dankind said:

I find Homo Larry to be offensive.

I had to look up who this Dan is and in the process came across the term "no homo". Wikipedia defines that as "a phrase used as slang at the end of a sentence to assert the statement spoken by the speaker had no intentional homosexual implications" and that it is "used in a lyrical context comes as a pre-emptive maneuver to deflect any attacks on the artist's masculinity or heterosexual status." This sounds like more homophobia to me but apparently it is used in contemporary culture. In any case, I'm not for using the term.

Man, it's hard to keep up with all the lingo changes these days.

PJ_Soul · February 2018

I think the whole no-homo thing is definitely homophobic, however unintentional. It's also fucking stupid.

rgambs · February 2018

I think no homo started with the military, I know that's the context I first heard it. My Army buddy still says it anytime he states his feelings. It's borderline pathetic.

oftenreading · February 2018

PJ_Soul said:

I think the whole no-homo thing is definitely homophobic, however unintentional. It's also fucking stupid.

Probably intentional. After all, it's based on the assumption that being homosexual is bad/wrong/weird/undesirable; otherwise, there wouldn't be any reason to continuously assert that you are "no homo".

dankind · February 2018

When I was a kid, we used “faggot” all the time. I, for one, had no idea what it meant as far as being a homophobic slur goes. It was basically synonymous with “jerk” to me (e.g., no way, faggot! I was safe! you missed me by a mile!). And I’m sure that my lesbian grandma heard me say it at least a hundred times and never thought to set me straight (no pun intended). My mom had to hear me say it even more times. That’s queer (pun intended) to me.

I probably didn’t know its more distasteful usage until probably 4th grade, and even then, I probably used it for a few more years out of habit.

We’d also always play a game called “smear the queer.”

Queer.

PJ_Soul · February 2018

oftenreading said:

PJ_Soul said:

I think the whole no-homo thing is definitely homophobic, however unintentional. It's also fucking stupid.

Probably intentional. After all, it's based on the assumption that being homosexual is bad/wrong/weird/undesirable; otherwise, there wouldn't be any reason to continuously assert that you are "no homo".

Yeah, I suppose... I think there is also the "so dimwitted or ignorant that they don't even understand the implication of the phrase" crowd. But anyway, I guess I meant more "however non-malicious the person intends it to be." Doesn't make it okay at all, don't get me wrong, but it's still worth noting, probably. I think malicious intent or feelings always still make a difference. Perhaps it's the difference between there being any hope for the person or not, I dunno.

Hi! · February 2018

Bentleyspop · February 2018

brianlux said:

F Me In The Brain said:

People can find anything offensive.
Do you have any male, gay, friends? Listen to how harsh they can be. Homo is on the tame side. They are joking the same way that I joke with my 250+ pound friend by calling him a fat bastard and hiding food when he comes over. (Or pointing out that some of my patio furniture chairs have tags on the bottom stating there is a 200 lb limit...so he needs to sit elsewhere. "The ground doesn't have any limit.")
Could be that I am friends with assholes, no matter where they are on the sex spectrum.
Context.

How you talk to a friend is a different matter. In the early 80's I had a gay friend, M.K., (one of the first to die in the AIDS epidemic- great guy, very difficult loss). I could have called him "queer" when that was even more highly offense than it is today, although I never did) and he would have just laughed. He joked with me a lot. One time, a group of friends were walking down the street after we had all had a drink in one of M.K.'s favorite bars in the S.F. Castro District, The Stud, and I bent over to tie my shoe. M.K. was walking behind me and when I bent over he sang out, "Cheerio-o-o-o-o-s!" That was a riot. Would he do that do a stranger. No. Would I refer to any gay person I didn't have a friendship with as "queer" or "fag" or "homo"? Absolutely not.

I'm with you Brian. My best friend in the 80s, Johnny, had what I called, a double dose of gay. And I never hesitated to call him a big ole queen, or queer, or even homo. He would just laugh. But I would never ever say those things to someone I didnt know.

He was also the first I knew to die from HIV/AIDS in the mid 80s. And because of him that I spent the better part of the next 15 years volunteering with people with HIV/AIDS and most of that with children with HIV/AIDS.

So to answer your question I think that "homo" would only be offensive to a homophobe who was called "homo". Or if it is used derogatorally toward any person that was gay, straight, or whatever.
But than again it could depend on context and situation.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2018

The real estate office I worked in for a short time 2 years ago had one guy who bullied me who always called people faggots.
I wanted to punch him out right there and then.

RiotZact · February 2018

I definitely think it’s offensive in almost every context. The only reason I put other is because I think there are very few words that are off limits when it comes to comedy, particularly stand-up. The only 2 I can think of that I would be turned off by would be faggot and the N word (I can’t even bring myself to type it out), but even still I would probably defend a comedians right to use those words, even if they do turn me off a bit.

brianlux · February 2018

dankind said:

When I was a kid, we used “faggot” all the time. I, for one, had no idea what it meant as far as being a homophobic slur goes. It was basically synonymous with “jerk” to me (e.g., no way, faggot! I was safe! you missed me by a mile!). And I’m sure that my lesbian grandma heard me say it at least a hundred times and never thought to set me straight (no pun intended). My mom had to hear me say it even more times. That’s queer (pun intended) to me.

I probably didn’t know its more distasteful usage until probably 4th grade, and even then, I probably used it for a few more years out of habit.

We’d also always play a game called “smear the queer.”

Queer.

Kids often catch words that sound cool even though they don't know the meaning. Most of the time, that's innocent enough. Like when I was in 9th grade and a buddy of mine, who probably had U.K. relatives, often used the term "fag", but only as in, "Hey, B., have ya got a fag? I could use a smoke!" I picked that up from that friend and neither of us had a clue that a "fag" was anything other than a cigarette. By tenth day he was dead and I knew the difference. God, that guy was cool. I wish he hadn't killed himself.

brianlux · February 2018

RiotZact said:

I definitely think it’s offensive in almost every context. The only reason I put other is because I think there are very few words that are off limits when it comes to comedy, particularly stand-up. The only 2 I can think of that I would be turned off by would be faggot and the N word (I can’t even bring myself to type it out), but even still I would probably defend a comedians right to use those words, even if they do turn me off a bit.

Well said, Zact. As I was reading what you said here it got me to wondering if there are/were any comedians that could "get away with" using those words. Maybe way back, guys like Lenny Bruce and Dick Gregory, but they would have been speaking to audiences well in the know about their intentions. Today it would be hard to use them and not be offensive. Carlin, of course, could manage to use every word in the book but only offend people that generally didn't really get what he was saying.

lastexitlondon · February 2018

Nothing much offends me really so i would say no. Offence is down to the individual and their life experiences i guess. I can't honestly think what WOULD offend me. But that's me

Do you find the term "homo" offensive?

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