Do you find the term "homo" offensive?

oftenreading · February 2018

PJ_Soul said:

I think the whole no-homo thing is definitely homophobic, however unintentional. It's also fucking stupid.

Probably intentional. After all, it's based on the assumption that being homosexual is bad/wrong/weird/undesirable; otherwise, there wouldn't be any reason to continuously assert that you are "no homo".

dankind · February 2018

When I was a kid, we used “faggot” all the time. I, for one, had no idea what it meant as far as being a homophobic slur goes. It was basically synonymous with “jerk” to me (e.g., no way, faggot! I was safe! you missed me by a mile!). And I’m sure that my lesbian grandma heard me say it at least a hundred times and never thought to set me straight (no pun intended). My mom had to hear me say it even more times. That’s queer (pun intended) to me.

I probably didn’t know its more distasteful usage until probably 4th grade, and even then, I probably used it for a few more years out of habit.

We’d also always play a game called “smear the queer.”

Queer.

PJ_Soul · February 2018

oftenreading said:

PJ_Soul said:

I think the whole no-homo thing is definitely homophobic, however unintentional. It's also fucking stupid.

Probably intentional. After all, it's based on the assumption that being homosexual is bad/wrong/weird/undesirable; otherwise, there wouldn't be any reason to continuously assert that you are "no homo".

Yeah, I suppose... I think there is also the "so dimwitted or ignorant that they don't even understand the implication of the phrase" crowd. But anyway, I guess I meant more "however non-malicious the person intends it to be." Doesn't make it okay at all, don't get me wrong, but it's still worth noting, probably. I think malicious intent or feelings always still make a difference. Perhaps it's the difference between there being any hope for the person or not, I dunno.

Hi! · February 2018

Bentleyspop · February 2018

brianlux said:

F Me In The Brain said:

People can find anything offensive.
Do you have any male, gay, friends? Listen to how harsh they can be. Homo is on the tame side. They are joking the same way that I joke with my 250+ pound friend by calling him a fat bastard and hiding food when he comes over. (Or pointing out that some of my patio furniture chairs have tags on the bottom stating there is a 200 lb limit...so he needs to sit elsewhere. "The ground doesn't have any limit.")
Could be that I am friends with assholes, no matter where they are on the sex spectrum.
Context.

How you talk to a friend is a different matter. In the early 80's I had a gay friend, M.K., (one of the first to die in the AIDS epidemic- great guy, very difficult loss). I could have called him "queer" when that was even more highly offense than it is today, although I never did) and he would have just laughed. He joked with me a lot. One time, a group of friends were walking down the street after we had all had a drink in one of M.K.'s favorite bars in the S.F. Castro District, The Stud, and I bent over to tie my shoe. M.K. was walking behind me and when I bent over he sang out, "Cheerio-o-o-o-o-s!" That was a riot. Would he do that do a stranger. No. Would I refer to any gay person I didn't have a friendship with as "queer" or "fag" or "homo"? Absolutely not.

I'm with you Brian. My best friend in the 80s, Johnny, had what I called, a double dose of gay. And I never hesitated to call him a big ole queen, or queer, or even homo. He would just laugh. But I would never ever say those things to someone I didnt know.

He was also the first I knew to die from HIV/AIDS in the mid 80s. And because of him that I spent the better part of the next 15 years volunteering with people with HIV/AIDS and most of that with children with HIV/AIDS.

So to answer your question I think that "homo" would only be offensive to a homophobe who was called "homo". Or if it is used derogatorally toward any person that was gay, straight, or whatever.
But than again it could depend on context and situation.

Thoughts_Arrive · February 2018

The real estate office I worked in for a short time 2 years ago had one guy who bullied me who always called people faggots.
I wanted to punch him out right there and then.

RiotZact · February 2018

I definitely think it’s offensive in almost every context. The only reason I put other is because I think there are very few words that are off limits when it comes to comedy, particularly stand-up. The only 2 I can think of that I would be turned off by would be faggot and the N word (I can’t even bring myself to type it out), but even still I would probably defend a comedians right to use those words, even if they do turn me off a bit.

brianlux · February 2018

dankind said:

When I was a kid, we used “faggot” all the time. I, for one, had no idea what it meant as far as being a homophobic slur goes. It was basically synonymous with “jerk” to me (e.g., no way, faggot! I was safe! you missed me by a mile!). And I’m sure that my lesbian grandma heard me say it at least a hundred times and never thought to set me straight (no pun intended). My mom had to hear me say it even more times. That’s queer (pun intended) to me.

I probably didn’t know its more distasteful usage until probably 4th grade, and even then, I probably used it for a few more years out of habit.

We’d also always play a game called “smear the queer.”

Queer.

Kids often catch words that sound cool even though they don't know the meaning. Most of the time, that's innocent enough. Like when I was in 9th grade and a buddy of mine, who probably had U.K. relatives, often used the term "fag", but only as in, "Hey, B., have ya got a fag? I could use a smoke!" I picked that up from that friend and neither of us had a clue that a "fag" was anything other than a cigarette. By tenth day he was dead and I knew the difference. God, that guy was cool. I wish he hadn't killed himself.

brianlux · February 2018

RiotZact said:

I definitely think it’s offensive in almost every context. The only reason I put other is because I think there are very few words that are off limits when it comes to comedy, particularly stand-up. The only 2 I can think of that I would be turned off by would be faggot and the N word (I can’t even bring myself to type it out), but even still I would probably defend a comedians right to use those words, even if they do turn me off a bit.

Well said, Zact. As I was reading what you said here it got me to wondering if there are/were any comedians that could "get away with" using those words. Maybe way back, guys like Lenny Bruce and Dick Gregory, but they would have been speaking to audiences well in the know about their intentions. Today it would be hard to use them and not be offensive. Carlin, of course, could manage to use every word in the book but only offend people that generally didn't really get what he was saying.

lastexitlondon · February 2018

Nothing much offends me really so i would say no. Offence is down to the individual and their life experiences i guess. I can't honestly think what WOULD offend me. But that's me

Degeneratefk · February 2018

This thread reminds me of this Louis CK bit.

https://youtu.be/Fcja4WFFzDw

HughFreakingDillon · February 2018

dankind said:

When I was a kid, we used “faggot” all the time. I, for one, had no idea what it meant as far as being a homophobic slur goes. It was basically synonymous with “jerk” to me (e.g., no way, faggot! I was safe! you missed me by a mile!). And I’m sure that my lesbian grandma heard me say it at least a hundred times and never thought to set me straight (no pun intended). My mom had to hear me say it even more times. That’s queer (pun intended) to me.

I probably didn’t know its more distasteful usage until probably 4th grade, and even then, I probably used it for a few more years out of habit.

We’d also always play a game called “smear the queer.”

Queer.

we'd use it in both ways. as another word for "jerk", as you stated, but also if when guy friends would tease each other about liking other guys. we were so ignorant/insecure that the knee-jerk reaction was to always call the other guy gay/fag/etc to make your case that you weren't. it was so stupid.

mrussel1 · February 2018

^^ Reading this thread, the word "fag" came immediately to mind. We used fag all the time, and it rarely meant homosexual. It was more like idiot, loser, whatever. I was thinking about this exact issue a few years ago, wondering if terms we used unceasingly as teenagers will be considered the new "n" word in the very near future, if not now. To be clear, I didn't know anyone that used the N word when I was in school, up through 91. That was definitely taboo even then. Granted, I didn't live in the south.