Dying alone

We buried my father Monday and I was given the folded flag by the Navy personnel who carried out the detail with grace and dignity.  Just the way my father wanted it and deserved it and I was pleased for him. 

It would be great if everybody could get what they want in the end that way.  I'd like to become food for some kind of tree or shrubs. 

But not now!  Better to get busy with living while we can.  Time flies these days.

Spiritual_Chaos said:

Lost my best, and only close, friend (and PJ travel partner) a few years back due to me being an idiot and a stupid fight. So if you have a friend or two, don't fuck it up. 

Now I'm lonely as hell.

But I'll manage.

Have you tried to reach out to your friend and apologized ?

Thoughts_Arrive said:

amethgr8 said:

You can walk your sisters dog?

anyone that limits dating to their perceived type is limiting their possibilites. Nothing wrong with, it but a fact.

Already have. 
I take him for walks around their neighbourhood. 
The only encounter with a female was when her larger dog tried to attack my sister's dog in a park and she apologised but lied about her dog escaping from home when I saw her with her dog playing in the park before the incident.

Please contact your local dog shelter to inquire about volunteer opportunities. 

kce8 said:

HesCalledDyer said:

tweedyfanjen said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Pretty sure at this point I’ll continue to live alone and I’ll die alone.

I'm 40, I’m not interested in women my age, and younger women (understandably) aren’t interested in men my age unless they have money, which I don’t.

Why you aren't you interested in women your age? You're very much limiting yourself with that. My brother who is going through a divorce right now is dating someone 10 years his junior. And he definitely doesn't have money. He's just a really nice guy.

I'm just attracted to younger women. They're livelier, like to live in the now, and do fun things on a whim like I do.  Where I live, women my age have been thrown to the pack too many times. 40 looks like 55.  Most of them have been married once or twice (I don't want to deal with redneck ex-husbands), have kids (I don't want kids, ever. Not mine, not someone else's), own or have owned houses (something else I never want to do), and/or they're just generally fucked up in the head from all the previous baggage.

On top of that, I just have unordinary ideas for how I want things to be in a relationship and I just don't think any woman, regardless of age, is going to go for it.  (Like living separately and possibly never getting married.)

 
That sounds like you never really fell in love before. I promise, when you have found the right girl you'll change your mind about living separately!  
No need to get married or have kids but I'm pretty sure there will be two seats at your small table permanently. 
 That's sent to all of us. Someday it happens. Just don't give up and think positive. 
And smile!  

I have. Once.  Didn't realize what I had at the time.

rgambs said:

HesCalledDyer said:

kce8 said:

HesCalledDyer said:

tweedyfanjen said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Pretty sure at this point I’ll continue to live alone and I’ll die alone.

I'm 40, I’m not interested in women my age, and younger women (understandably) aren’t interested in men my age unless they have money, which I don’t.

Why you aren't you interested in women your age? You're very much limiting yourself with that. My brother who is going through a divorce right now is dating someone 10 years his junior. And he definitely doesn't have money. He's just a really nice guy.

I'm just attracted to younger women. They're livelier, like to live in the now, and do fun things on a whim like I do.  Where I live, women my age have been thrown to the pack too many times. 40 looks like 55.  Most of them have been married once or twice (I don't want to deal with redneck ex-husbands), have kids (I don't want kids, ever. Not mine, not someone else's), own or have owned houses (something else I never want to do), and/or they're just generally fucked up in the head from all the previous baggage.

On top of that, I just have unordinary ideas for how I want things to be in a relationship and I just don't think any woman, regardless of age, is going to go for it.  (Like living separately and possibly never getting married.)

 
That sounds like you never really fell in love before. I promise, when you have found the right girl you'll change your mind about living separately!  
No need to get married or have kids but I'm pretty sure there will be two seats at your small table permanently. 
 That's sent to all of us. Someday it happens. Just don't give up and think positive. 
And smile!  

I have. Once.  Didn't realize what I had at the time.

Young and dumb?  
There are loves out there for you yet!  

This! 

Not everyone gets it right the first time.  I've had a close significant other in my late teens/early 20's and two previous marriages.  It wasn't until I turned 51 and married for the third time before finding a lasting relationship with my wife.  We struggle at times but we keep learning how to make it work.

That learning is reflected in something I read last night in Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman's book, The Dude and the Zen Master. Speaking of how Bridges and his wife get along he says:

"We do have one ancient war that comes up again and again which basically runs like this: you just don't get it; you just know get me; you just don't know me; you don't understand. And that's true.  I don't entirely know Sue or her perspective, I never will.  And she won't know me or where I coming from, really, entirely.  But as this ancient war rages, with each battle it becomes more apparent that this inability to know the other's perspective is what we have in common.  Knowing that, we learn to take our differences and opinions not so seriously, we open up.  Having fought this out for over thirty-five years, I now find that when the war raises its head again, I feel: Great, here it is again, now we get to learn how to love each other even more."

The Dude is wise!

rgambs said:

HesCalledDyer said:

kce8 said:

HesCalledDyer said:

tweedyfanjen said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Pretty sure at this point I’ll continue to live alone and I’ll die alone.

I'm 40, I’m not interested in women my age, and younger women (understandably) aren’t interested in men my age unless they have money, which I don’t.

Why you aren't you interested in women your age? You're very much limiting yourself with that. My brother who is going through a divorce right now is dating someone 10 years his junior. And he definitely doesn't have money. He's just a really nice guy.

I'm just attracted to younger women. They're livelier, like to live in the now, and do fun things on a whim like I do.  Where I live, women my age have been thrown to the pack too many times. 40 looks like 55.  Most of them have been married once or twice (I don't want to deal with redneck ex-husbands), have kids (I don't want kids, ever. Not mine, not someone else's), own or have owned houses (something else I never want to do), and/or they're just generally fucked up in the head from all the previous baggage.

On top of that, I just have unordinary ideas for how I want things to be in a relationship and I just don't think any woman, regardless of age, is going to go for it.  (Like living separately and possibly never getting married.)

 
That sounds like you never really fell in love before. I promise, when you have found the right girl you'll change your mind about living separately!  
No need to get married or have kids but I'm pretty sure there will be two seats at your small table permanently. 
 That's sent to all of us. Someday it happens. Just don't give up and think positive. 
And smile!  

I have. Once.  Didn't realize what I had at the time.

Young and dumb?  
There are loves out there for you yet!  

More like young and a controlling asshole. Which I guess files under "dumb" in a sense.

HesCalledDyer said:

rgambs said:

HesCalledDyer said:

kce8 said:

HesCalledDyer said:

tweedyfanjen said:

HesCalledDyer said:

Pretty sure at this point I’ll continue to live alone and I’ll die alone.

I'm 40, I’m not interested in women my age, and younger women (understandably) aren’t interested in men my age unless they have money, which I don’t.

Why you aren't you interested in women your age? You're very much limiting yourself with that. My brother who is going through a divorce right now is dating someone 10 years his junior. And he definitely doesn't have money. He's just a really nice guy.

I'm just attracted to younger women. They're livelier, like to live in the now, and do fun things on a whim like I do.  Where I live, women my age have been thrown to the pack too many times. 40 looks like 55.  Most of them have been married once or twice (I don't want to deal with redneck ex-husbands), have kids (I don't want kids, ever. Not mine, not someone else's), own or have owned houses (something else I never want to do), and/or they're just generally fucked up in the head from all the previous baggage.

On top of that, I just have unordinary ideas for how I want things to be in a relationship and I just don't think any woman, regardless of age, is going to go for it.  (Like living separately and possibly never getting married.)

 
That sounds like you never really fell in love before. I promise, when you have found the right girl you'll change your mind about living separately!  
No need to get married or have kids but I'm pretty sure there will be two seats at your small table permanently. 
 That's sent to all of us. Someday it happens. Just don't give up and think positive. 
And smile!  

I have. Once.  Didn't realize what I had at the time.

Young and dumb?  
There are loves out there for you yet!  

More like young and a controlling asshole. Which I guess files under "dumb" in a sense.

the way I look at it, then she wasn't the right one. you wouldn't have treated the right one like that, no matter your age. it was a learning experience. I had a 5 year relationship in my early 20's that you could say was borderline emotionally abusive (on both our parts), and yeah, when I think back, sure, I and she could have been nicer. But maybe that was something I needed to learn. To prepare me for my subsequent relationships and marriage.