Should men really be living longer

Malroth
Malroth broken down chevrolet Posts: 2,563
in All Encompassing Trip
I just had a prostate exam.
A MAN STUCK HIS FINGER IN MY BUTTHOLE AND TWIRLED IT AROUND
I found myself hoping he'd find something.
because either he'd save my life or I would die soon and not have this memory.
The doctor is already lost. He has done so many weird things, professionally or socially, he will soon forget about my butthole.
Now I walk around in shame wondering if everybody that sees me just knows I've had a butthole swirly.


How I wish for the days of the exactly 389 post club. I've lost my innocence.
The worst of times..they don't phase me,
even if I look and act really crazy.
«1345

Comments

  • Wobbie
    Wobbie Posts: 31,561
    OK......did he have both hands on your shoulders, too? :tired_face:

    seriously....I got rectal cancer and it could have been prevented (maybe) except we got this new piece of shit doc who didn't like doing the finger wave....well, who does....bit you're afucking doctor so don't ask me if we can skip it :rage:
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
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  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Oy, Malroth.

    Sorry, but I thank you for the smile at your post (NOT at your experience).
  • Malroth
    Malroth broken down chevrolet Posts: 2,563
    imalive said:

    OK......did he have both hands on your shoulders, too? :tired_face:

    seriously....I got rectal cancer and it could have been prevented (maybe) except we got this new piece of shit doc who didn't like doing the finger wave....well, who does....bit you're afucking doctor so don't ask me if we can skip it :rage:

    He asked you if he could skip it?
    I took it like a man, but if he would have asked....
    I said "thank you" after, that should have been avoided.
    The worst of times..they don't phase me,
    even if I look and act really crazy.
  • Wobbie
    Wobbie Posts: 31,561
    Malroth said:

    imalive said:

    OK......did he have both hands on your shoulders, too? :tired_face:

    seriously....I got rectal cancer and it could have been prevented (maybe) except we got this new piece of shit doc who didn't like doing the finger wave....well, who does....bit you're afucking doctor so don't ask me if we can skip it :rage:

    He asked you if he could skip it?
    I took it like a man, but if he would have asked....
    I said "thank you" after, that should have been avoided.
    he did....he was an anesthesiologist turned "doctor"... he wears Hawaiian shirts.
    If I had known then what I know now...

    Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
    VIC 07
    EV LA1 08
    Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
    Columbus 10
    EV LA 11
    Vancouver 11
    Missoula 12
    Portland 13, Spokane 13
    St. Paul 14, Denver 14
    Philly I & II, 16
    Denver 22
    Missoula 24
  • shortstack
    shortstack Posts: 2,339
    edited January 2024
    ugh. So dumb
     
    Post edited by shortstack on
    did you see me? i saw you.
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    edited August 2015
    shortstack said:

    this thread has potential.

    why would a butt hole be any different than an ear hole when it comes to a medical examination?
    i get my butt and vagina examined every year by either a man or a woman doctor. they feel my boobies up too. i never feel violated.

    guys are so dumb

    I just did my only second Gyno exam three years ago, and it will most likely be the last. I just can't do it.. I should really be sedated.. And that's illegal.. But nine years out of ten I don't have the mental mustard ( not a typo btw) to refrain from murdering the unlucky doctor that drew my
    Medical file.. I know it's really dumb.. But I get so mentally fucked up over the literal feeling of trauma in it, That I just can't do the regular routine Of it.. So sometimes us girls are dummies too. :wink: p.s. I love your straightforwardness!!
    Post edited by whispering hands on
  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    Thank you, shortstack. They take this lil brush and twirl it around in the vagina but only after placing this cold metal thing in there and clicking that mother open. Part of one hand in and the other out to feel around for issues. Squish of breasts, but then there is the mammogram. Had to have two on January because the asshat of a tech just let the machine drop on my delicate tissues rather than do a gentle crank. Felt like someone crushed my girls in some medieval device. The second, dare I say, was pleasant with no pain and confirmation that I had no suspicious tissue. (Pleasant because of good results.) Just get the parts inspected. Rob will agree that a lil discomfort now isn't so bad.
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • whispering hands
    whispering hands Under your skin Posts: 13,527
    deadendp said:

    Thank you, shortstack. They take this lil brush and twirl it around in the vagina but only after placing this cold metal thing in there and clicking that mother open. Part of one hand in and the other out to feel around for issues. Squish of breasts, but then there is the mammogram. Had to have two on January because the asshat of a tech just let the machine drop on my delicate tissues rather than do a gentle crank. Felt like someone crushed my girls in some medieval device. The second, dare I say, was pleasant with no pain and confirmation that I had no suspicious tissue. (Pleasant because of good results.) Just get the parts inspected. Rob will agree that a lil discomfort now isn't so bad.

    Very well put!
  • JWPearl
    JWPearl Posts: 19,893
    go ask for yourself.....
  • rr165892
    rr165892 Posts: 5,697
    You should break into a rendition of "Moon River" while asking the doc if he's using the whole hand.
  • Amongst the Ani
    Amongst the Ani @Wobbie Posts: 7,790
    deadendp said:

    Thank you, shortstack. They take this lil brush and twirl it around in the vagina but only after placing this cold metal thing in there and clicking that mother open. Part of one hand in and the other out to feel around for issues. Squish of breasts, but then there is the mammogram. Had to have two on January because the asshat of a tech just let the machine drop on my delicate tissues rather than do a gentle crank. Felt like someone crushed my girls in some medieval device. The second, dare I say, was pleasant with no pain and confirmation that I had no suspicious tissue. (Pleasant because of good results.) Just get the parts inspected. Rob will agree that a lil discomfort now isn't so bad.

    Is the brush to apply a new layer of sealent like when we re-seal the patio? I'm confused.

    Malroth, did he at least buy you a drink first? I feel like dinner and a show should be required first.

    #stillabuttholevirgin
    Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's
    Fuckus rules all
    Rob
    Seattle
  • rr165892
    rr165892 Posts: 5,697
    I had butch militant nurse 20 years ago when I got a vasectomy.I swear she was smiling when she anything but gently ripped very sticky tape from my privates.it hurt worse then the actua procedure.
    But the real fun happen when I got home and my then 4 year old son came running up to me and somehow thought it would be fun to punch me in the junk.Littke shit had a good punch.
    Let's just say due to the massive swelling ,calling me grapefruit boy for about 48hrs was def in order.
    Good times
  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    Amongst the Ani said:

    deadendp said:

    Thank you, shortstack. They take this lil brush and twirl it around in the vagina but only after placing this cold metal thing in there and clicking that mother open. Part of one hand in and the other out to feel around for issues. Squish of breasts, but then there is the mammogram. Had to have two on January because the asshat of a tech just let the machine drop on my delicate tissues rather than do a gentle crank. Felt like someone crushed my girls in some medieval device. The second, dare I say, was pleasant with no pain and confirmation that I had no suspicious tissue. (Pleasant because of good results.) Just get the parts inspected. Rob will agree that a lil discomfort now isn't so bad.

    Is the brush to apply a new layer of sealent like when we re-seal the patio? I'm confused.
    It's the gynecological version of a chimney sweep brush.
    rr165892 said:

    I had butch militant nurse 20 years ago when I got a vasectomy.I swear she was smiling when she anything but gently ripped very sticky tape from my privates.it hurt worse then the actua procedure.

    I was there when my man went for that surgery. The only time he yelped was when the tape was removed. TMI, but it left a very plum purple bruise stripe across his penis where the tape had been. I felt so bad. I bought him a gift card to his favorite music store as a thank you.
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • dankind
    dankind Posts: 20,841
    I keep saying that I'm going to get a vasectomy, but then I put it off.

    After reading this thread, I think I'll put it off a while longer (like maybe forever).

    I think I've got another five or ten years before my vanilla fudge swirl.
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • rr165892
    rr165892 Posts: 5,697
    dankind said:

    I keep saying that I'm going to get a vasectomy, but then I put it off.

    After reading this thread, I think I'll put it off a while longer (like maybe forever).

    I think I've got another five or ten years before my vanilla fudge swirl.

    My wife said that she was doing all the work and it was my turn to contribute.Plus I didn't want any more kids.timing was right.If need something new to cherish,I'll wait for grand babies or go get another puppy.:)
  • Hobbes
    Hobbes Pacific Northwest Posts: 6,438
    rr165892 said:

    You should break into a rendition of "Moon River" while asking the doc if he's using the whole hand.

    :smiley:
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,742
    Ugh... I hate having my prostate checked. On the other hand, at 64 it's good to know it's healthy.

    Worse than a the prostate check though was being in a room with a bunch of other guys and having us all told to bend over and spread our cheeks. Was this some kind of kinky porn video I was in? No, this is what they did back in the day when you had to have a mandatory armed forces (there's a term that fits, huh?) physical exam. :angry:
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • deadendp
    deadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    dankind said:

    I keep saying that I'm going to get a vasectomy, but then I put it off.

    After reading this thread, I think I'll put it off a while longer (like maybe forever).

    I think I've got another five or ten years before my vanilla fudge swirl.

    My husband got a sweet gift card, sat on the couch watching TV and had frozen bags of peas on his stuff. He'll tell you that he rocked it just fine. He chose to go this route when I almost died from pre-eclampsia/eclampsia. They (the physicians) bluntly told him that pregnancy would most certainly kill me if it happened again. (It is only with the wonders of modern medicine that I'm still here.) He took one for the team. He kind of figured it was his turn. I didn't stand in his way.

    I have to laugh. The doctor, not knowing of all of the garbage and loss that took us to that surgical point, was trying to make me feel a bit guilty about it AND made me look at what he was doing. I saw severing of things and cauterizing of things and that picture is just NOW beginning to slightly fade from my memory. I can still see and hear the ripping of the tape, though. :fearful: Poor guy.
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Hobbes said:

    rr165892 said:

    You should break into a rendition of "Moon River" while asking the doc if he's using the whole hand.

    :smiley:
    Me too!

    My dad had prostate cancer (ultimately passed of the bladder kind), and must say that as funny as this thread is, I'm glad - or hope - it's opening the eyes of some to address these most awkward and uncomfortable situations. Laughing at it can help to take away some of the fear and trepidation.

    deadend, why is it always frozen peas? Would corn or broccoli florets not suffice?
  • Amongst the Ani
    Amongst the Ani @Wobbie Posts: 7,790
    brianlux said:

    Ugh... I hate having my prostate checked. On the other hand, at 64 it's good to know it's healthy.

    Worse than a the prostate check though was being in a room with a bunch of other guys and having us all told to bend over and spread our cheeks. Was this some kind of kinky porn video I was in? No, this is what they did back in the day when you had to have a mandatory armed forces (there's a term that fits, huh?) physical exam. :angry:

    I am so glad time has changed. We didnt go through this part.Its not required until 40 now.
    Tom Brady & Donald Trump, BFF's
    Fuckus rules all
    Rob
    Seattle

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