Trans-Gender Kids

Dirtie_Frank said:

https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/laverne-cox-meets-7-year-old-transgender-girl-words-of-wisdom-161812805.html

The Above story is about a seven year old trans-gender boy. Now I am all for adults doing what they feel is right, but how does a child at 7 know that he is a girl. OI also read that the child has been identified as trans-gender at the age of 3. Are you fucking kidding me? 3? I have three children between the ages of 7 and 15 months. They barely can decide what ice cream they like let alone what gender they are and at 3. I have to find a source for the choice at 3, but I do recall a story on Rolling Stones about a trans gender at 3. I know this is their child but isn't this a bit much?

I tend to agree with you. This doesn't seem right for some of the things you listed; however I truly don't know enough about gender confusion to make any statements with any force of conviction.

From what I've read, virtually all people who are transgender know this from a very young age. They have a strong feeling that their bodies and their innate gender don't match up from the time they first start to have an awareness of what their biological sex is and what that means in the world. Of course, the confusing part is that young children also have very mutable identities, and can seem to strongly identify with superheroes, animals, and all sorts of unlikely things. The difference with trans people is that the gender identification is consistent over a long time, whereas the identification of young kids with things or people they strongly like tends to be fleeting.

A possible complicating factor these days could be the (very unusual) instance of parents pushing a trans agenda on their a non-trans little kid who has typical identity fluidity. I'm sure this wouldn't occur very often but some people really seem to jump on bandwagons.

oftenreading said:

From what I've read, virtually all people who are transgender know this from a very young age. They have a strong feeling that their bodies and their innate gender don't match up from the time they first start to have an awareness of what their biological sex is and what that means in the world. Of course, the confusing part is that young children also have very mutable identities, and can seem to strongly identify with superheroes, animals, and all sorts of unlikely things. The difference with trans people is that the gender identification is consistent over a long time, whereas the identification of young kids with things or people they strongly like tends to be fleeting.

A possible complicating factor these days could be the (very unusual) instance of parents pushing a trans agenda on their a non-trans little kid who has typical identity fluidity. I'm sure this wouldn't occur very often but some people really seem to jump on bandwagon.

As Frank said, I am not inclined to think a small child knows they are not the gender they were born to when they simply don't know much of anything.

The last statement is something I thought of when reading Frank's post. Having very little faith in humanity, I made a very uninformed and judgemental opinion that these parents might be another set of doughheads that might have been motivated by a trend and for publicity: they've already sought it versus contently living life and feeling as if they did what was necessary and critical for the development and happiness of their child.

I agree, Callen, let them be what they are. I think it's a big mistake to try to force kids to be something they are not.

brianlux said:

JimmyV said:

I don't think seven years old is old enough for any kid to know what they are. It seems irresponsible to just let kids do whatever makes them feel comfortable. Stand up, be a parent, and say no.

I used to know a woman who had a neighbor who's son (probably about 5 years old) asked if he could wear his sister's pink dress to school on his first ever day at school. They said he could. Does that make the kid transgender? Maybe, maybe not, but the fact that the parents knew this was sincerely what the kid wanted and let him do it I thought was cool. It's also cool that the kid's dad is famous but never used the incident to draw attention to himself.

Disagree. The five year old shouldn't be deciding what they wear to school. The parents should. When the child gets older and can make their own decisions, great, they can do what they want. At five those parents should have said no.

dignin said:

JimmyV said:

brianlux said:

JimmyV said:

I don't think seven years old is old enough for any kid to know what they are. It seems irresponsible to just let kids do whatever makes them feel comfortable. Stand up, be a parent, and say no.

I used to know a woman who had a neighbor who's son (probably about 5 years old) asked if he could wear his sister's pink dress to school on his first ever day at school. They said he could. Does that make the kid transgender? Maybe, maybe not, but the fact that the parents knew this was sincerely what the kid wanted and let him do it I thought was cool. It's also cool that the kid's dad is famous but never used the incident to draw attention to himself.

Disagree. The five year old shouldn't be deciding what they wear to school. The parents should. When the child gets older and can make their own decisions, great, they can do what they want. At five those parents should have said no.

The parents did decide. You just didn't like their choice. That's on you.

And when the kid grows up never having been said no to, that's on them.

I want to wear a dress to school = I want to wear pajamas to school = I want to wear shorts in January to school. Part of parenting is saying no to all of these requests. The kid would not have been adversely affected had they not been allowed to wear the dress.

dignin said:

Wearing a dress to school isn't the same as wearing pajamas or shorts in January. Dress vs. Jeans is gender specific, that's what you have a problem with, the blurring of those lines. It's okay to admit it offends you. But you shouldn't be offended. It's no big deal.

The only thing that offends me is parents who are unwilling or unable to say no to their children. Part of the deal you signed up for when you had kids. If you are unable to tell your child "No, you cannot wear that dress to school" then you are probably unable to tell your child no about much else.

You don't like the shorts or pajamas, then how about this: Wearing a dress to school = wearing a Halloween costume to school in April. Both are inappropriate because both are distractions. A boy wearing a dress to school is a distraction that would disrupt any classroom of five year old's in this country. If you want to let your child run around the backyard in a dress, go for it. Don't send them to school that way and impact other children.

The problem here isn't the dress or the child, it is the parents. Thanks though for trying to declare what I have a problem with and what offends me. We can't all be as enlightened as you.

Could care less what others want to do and would tell my kids the same. If they came home with story of a boy wearing a dress it would be a teaching moment. Then hopefully next day they would stick up for the kid.

Agree there should be boundaries and likely would steer my child not to want to wear the dress and why but if they insisted. At home have at it.