Father requests sheriff to supervise spanking of daughter-and he does

HughFreakingDillon · January 2015

now, I'm not familiar with the law in Florida and how beating your child with a paddle is not considered child abuse, but hey, it's Florida. Yes, I got the wooden spoon a couple times as a kid, but I honestly do NOT believe for one second that it altered my behaviour one bit. I think it's a stretch, to say the least, that if more kids got spanked that fewer would end up in jail. Give me a break.

http://cbc.ca/asithappens/features/2015/01/05/florida-sheriffs-deputy-supervises-spankings/

A Florida dad wants to spank his young daughter as a form of discipline. But, she challenges him -- claiming it's illegal for him to do so. So he calls the Okeechobee County Sheriff's office to confirm his legal right to corporal punishment of his child. The County Sheriff's office confirms he's within his rights and sends a Sheriff's deputy to witness -- and supervise -- the spanking.

Okeechobee County Undersheriff Noel Stephen describes what happened that day to As It Happens host Carol Off. He believes that there is a difference between child abuse and disciplining a child. He says the treatment of the 12 year-old girl followed state laws in Florida.

Stephen says the father used a paddle to spank his daughter but couldn't confirm how many times it was used.
He adds that in his 28-year career as a policeman, he has known of at least a dozen cases of parents calling the Sheriff and requesting spanking supervision.

Undersheriff Stephen says that if more kids got spankings fewer might end up in prison

HughFreakingDillon · January 2015

that link should be
http://www.cbc.ca/asithappens/features/2015/01/05/florida-sheriffs-deputy-supervises-spankings/

not sure why PJ's website's new link feature doesn't work.

rgambs · January 2015

I disagree with your assessment of corporal punishment. In life, many poor choices punish you in a serious way. Touch the stove, you get burned. Fail to look both ways, get killed by a car. Play in the river, drown...etc.

Children have to learn that there are real, tangible consequences in life, beyond dissapointing your peers or superiors. You learned that lesson whether you realized it or not.

HughFreakingDillon · January 2015

disagree. I have never, nor will I ever, physically punish my daughters. all it taught me was that I was getting something I didn't deserve, and that it was an outlet for my dad's frustration and anger. nothing more. I actually felt worse about myself when my parents would sit me down calmly and tell me how disappointed they were in me than when I was hit or screamed at.

and those examples can't compare: touch the stove: does the stove get mad and CHOOSE to burn you? does the car flip out and CHOOSE to run over you? a very distinct difference. violence is not the answer. you do that where I live? child and family services visits you.

as a 40 year old father, I'm pretty sure I'm a little more qualified knowing what lessons I learned than someone on the internet. But thanks.

HughFreakingDillon · January 2015

and I think there have been studies done that show links between parental physical punishment and emotional/behavioural problems and also leading into adult life. I'll have to look that up when I have time.

josevolution · January 2015

paulonious wrote: »

disagree. I have never, nor will I ever, physically punish my daughters. all it taught me was that I was getting something I didn't deserve, and that it was an outlet for my dad's frustration and anger. nothing more. I actually felt worse about myself when my parents would sit me down calmly and tell me how disappointed they were in me than when I was hit or screamed at.

and those examples can't compare: touch the stove: does the stove get mad and CHOOSE to burn you? does the car flip out and CHOOSE to run over you? a very distinct difference. violence is not the answer. you do that where I live? child and family services visits you.

as a 40 year old father, I'm pretty sure I'm a little more qualified knowing what lessons I learned than someone on the internet. But thanks.

I agree, father here of two 18yr old girl 21yr old boy i never had to resort to a spanking like that at all maybe a swatt across their butts but never hard or with intent on hurting ....

callen · January 2015

Dads a dick. What humiliation. Daughter will pay him back. Guess dad never listened to Chris Rock about everything he does is to keep his daughter off the pole. And for all you dads listen up.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9mnWErHhPNc

rgambs · January 2015

I don't think a 12 year old gains anything but embarrassment from a whuppin in front of the sheriff.

HughFreakingDillon · January 2015

rgambs wrote: »

I don't think a 12 year old gains anything but embarrassment from a whuppin in front of the sheriff.

A forever set of daddy issues at least, man hating hell on heels at worst.

brianlux · January 2015

I grew up in the 50's when hard spanking and slapping etc. were not only allowed, but very common forms of punishment. I got my share and my folks were good people who thought they were doing the right thing. They would be different today. I knew kids back then who got it worse- one of the kids I knew got a leather belt across his bare ass and another got it with a heavy switch from a tree.

I had a teacher in 5th grade who whacked us across the hand with a thick rigid yardstick for doing things like speaking out of turn. Those whacks on the hand always created a lot of pain, redness and usually big welts. That same teacher used to give us what we called "the paint can treatment". If he was really pissed off at us, he took us outside and yelled at us while holding our shoulders and shaking us violently. That would really fuck with your head. He did that to one kid one day and behind the kid was a concrete pillar. He shook the kid so hard that the back of the kid's head hit the pillar and knocked him out- cold. The teacher was transferred to another school but was NOT fired.

I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever hit a kid. Fuck that. I mean, FUCK that.

oftenreading · January 2015

There have been decades of research on the issue of the impact of corporal punishment as a form of discipline, and the outcomes are very consistent - corporal punishment can improve immediate behaviour (because the child is afraid of further punishment) but in the medium and long term leads to worse behaviour, particularly a higher rate of aggression toward others but also poorer ability to self-manage behaviour and less compliance with rules. Children who are hit tend to hit other children, both within and outside the family, and later on go on to higher rates of illegal behaviour.

Of course some will always stand up and say "I was spanked and it didn't do me any harm", much like people who say "my grandpa smoked and he lived to 90!". The evidence is pretty clear about the harms.

And as a parent I can also attest that it is perfectly possible to raise kids who are great citizens without hitting them, although at times when they are little you certainly feel like you'd like to hit something....

hedonist · January 2015

I was spanked once by my dad - one time, one actual spank. It was humiliating but tougher knowing I'd let my parents down. After that, different ("normal") punishments, and talking. A lot of talking.

My husband has told me of the spanking he got from his mom when he ran into the street willy-nilly. It stuck with him and he never did that again.

We both are pretty well-adjusted people now, have/had good relationships with our parents.

I'm not a mother but if I were, doubt I could summon the will or ability to spank my child.

Soooo...where do folks stand on the old mouth-washed-out-with-soap routine?
:-D

chadwick · January 2015

frigg a bunch of giving two shits
we were spanked, my brothers & i
sure it hurt some what
it did not stop us from doing what silly crazy bullshit we done
brothers fight
rough house
karate in the dark
axes & gun warfare
boxing jabs & bloody mugs
tree house & bunk bed battles

here comes the switch

stick it up your ass old man
so we cut his tree branch into about nine pieces
he drew back to swing
to come down & the switch fell apart
laughter, laughter & alot of it
he thought that was a riot

we were not ever abused
not once
our childhood was beyond wonderful

Thirty Bills Unpaid · January 2015

I got spanked as a kid- many times. Every time I did, I knew exactly what I was getting spanked for. I also knew my parents loved me dearly. I didn't like getting spanked, but certainly don't harbour any ill will towards my parents for their method of discipline. The threat of my father tanning my behind kept me in line more than any heart-to-heart chats. Like most other young kids, I wasn't mature enough to truly understand an adult's perspective as much as I could 'cause and effect'.

Of course, as a child ages, spanking becomes useless.

I'm not an advocate for spanking. I never read the piece- the thread title says it all (it's ridiculous). However, I do feel we shouldn't be too judgmental of a parent exercising their parental responsibilities in a manner in which we don't approve of (such as a swat on the bum). Much worse, in my mind, is not caring at all, completely neglecting discipline, or not even being there to be a parent.

Anything other than a hand? In my mind... no good. An all-out assault? Poor. A swat on the butt on the rare occasion? Not a big deal.

oftenreading · January 2015

rgambs wrote: »

I disagree with your assessment of corporal punishment. In life, many poor choices punish you in a serious way. Touch the stove, you get burned. Fail to look both ways, get killed by a car. Play in the river, drown...etc.

Children have to learn that there are real, tangible consequences in life, beyond dissapointing your peers or superiors. You learned that lesson whether you realized it or not.

So you are in favour of corporal punishment rgambs? I must admit that was not the position I was expecting from you, but life is full of surprises.

brianlux · January 2015

hedonist wrote: »

I was spanked once by my dad - one time, one actual spank. It was humiliating but tougher knowing I'd let my parents down. After that, different ("normal") punishments, and talking. A lot of talking.

My husband has told me of the spanking he got from his mom when he ran into the street willy-nilly. It stuck with him and he never did that again.

We both are pretty well-adjusted people now, have/had good relationships with our parents.

I'm not a mother but if I were, doubt I could summon the will or ability to spank my child.

Soooo...where do folks stand on the old mouth-washed-out-with-soap routine?
:-D

Much to her credit, my mother never subjected me to this horror. Soooo, having heard about it and not experienced it, when I was around 9 or 10 I washed my own mouth out with dish soap. It was NASTY! Plus, when I breathed out a lot of bubbles went floating into the air!
:-\"

hedonist · January 2015

Nice choice on the blowing fella, B!

As with spanking, the mouthwash - so to speak - happened just once. Can't remember what prompted it but goddamn, never went there again.

What was the impetus of your selfwash?

HughFreakingDillon · January 2015

oftenreading wrote: »

There have been decades of research on the issue of the impact of corporal punishment as a form of discipline, and the outcomes are very consistent - corporal punishment can improve immediate behaviour (because the child is afraid of further punishment) but in the medium and long term leads to worse behaviour, particularly a higher rate of aggression toward others but also poorer ability to self-manage behaviour and less compliance with rules. Children who are hit tend to hit other children, both within and outside the family, and later on go on to higher rates of illegal behaviour.

Of course some will always stand up and say "I was spanked and it didn't do me any harm", much like people who say "my grandpa smoked and he lived to 90!". The evidence is pretty clear about the harms.

And as a parent I can also attest that it is perfectly possible to raise kids who are great citizens without hitting them, although at times when they are little you certainly feel like you'd like to hit something....

Thank you for well thought out and intelligent (not to mention coherent) response.

HughFreakingDillon · January 2015

hedonist wrote: »

I was spanked once by my dad - one time, one actual spank. It was humiliating but tougher knowing I'd let my parents down. After that, different ("normal") punishments, and talking. A lot of talking.

My husband has told me of the spanking he got from his mom when he ran into the street willy-nilly. It stuck with him and he never did that again.

We both are pretty well-adjusted people now, have/had good relationships with our parents.

I'm not a mother but if I were, doubt I could summon the will or ability to spank my child.

Soooo...where do folks stand on the old mouth-washed-out-with-soap routine?
:-D

it can actually sometimes be more about having the will NOT to get physical. It's rare that I get that angry, but it can get pretty tense sometimes.

rgambs · January 2015

I am in favor of corporal punishment admistered properly. Of course I have my own definition of proper, which pretty much lines up with the way my parents handled it. A few quick rules.
1. Only used for serious offenses. Not for talking back or minor annoyances. You spank a child when they do something for which life will spank them as adults.
2. Never done when angry. First you talk to the child and give yourself time to calm down if you are upset. You explain what and why was wrong wiht their behavior and why physical correction is necessary, and then administer.
3. No wholesale whoopass. You don't hit your kids in the face or crank on them as hard as you can, enough to hurt but not harm. swelling equals harm. Red marks do not.
4. Start young and end young, after 5 or 6 it probably won't do much good.

Godfather. · January 2015

I got my ass beat many times as a kid, had the welts and a bruse frome time to time to prove it.......come to think of it..it just pissed me off even more but it did teach me not to take shit from anybody, ahhhh lesson learned but I have never spanked or hit my kid it just seemed crazy for a grown man to smack a kid.

Godfather.

Father requests sheriff to supervise spanking of daughter-and he does

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