So fkn depressed

supersonicyears · October 2012

I hope you're feeling better soon. It's good that you go running, excercise helps. Prayin for you.

Hugh Freaking Dillon · October 2012

Thoughts, I have been battling depression and anxiety for years. I know what you are going through. It sucks. And when you have friends who don't get it (not their fault), like the strippers and beers guy, it makes it even tougher.

My whole life I've actually been drawn to female friends, as they understand me and my emotions better when it happens.

Some days I can't even pick my guitar up I'm so down. I literally feel a weight on my shoulders. I just lay on the couch thinking about the world without me.

Halifax2TheMax · October 2012

Hey man,

Hang in there and don't give up. Sure, its tough as hell sometimes but theres always a springtime ahead. Things will get better for you and as tough as having friends "who just don't get it" might be, surround yourself with those who do. And don't ever be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. We're here for you. Sending positive Chi and keeping you in my thoughts.

Peace.

Hugh Freaking Dillon · October 2012

thoughts, I can elaborate a bit more on my first post as now I don't have my boss' eyes looming around.

No disrespect to others posting their good thoughts here, but I have to say that, and to be blunt, it's not as simple as having the blues or going through a rough patch or there being a springtime ahead. it's a disease. and it's debilitating emotionally, mentally, and physically. and it won't change or get better until you help yourself, either by therapy, or medication, or both. and exercise does WONDERS.

it is utterly exhausting trying to keep a smile on your face in a crowd when all you want to do is go home and cry in a pillow or you can't stop thinking about how you could get your hands on a gun, or thinking of ways, and this is going to sound ridiculous to most, to abandon your loved ones in a way that they will forget about you, not mourn your loss, so you can ride into the sunset on your own terms and not have the guilt of those left behind.

I think about these things daily.

going out for beers with friends may or may not help. but when you get home, it's back to square one.

I fear going out with friends. I make plans when I'm well that many times I don't keep, as I'm not capable at that moment to socialize. Friends are now a distant memory for me, for the most part. I had to find friends that flew by the seat of their pants as I now do. I can't make plans, knowing the likelihood of me cancelling on them at the last minute because of an anxiety attack. So I live the life of calling someone on a Saturday night at 9pm when I finally know I'm good to go, and then the disappointment of obviously no one being available.

it sucks for my wife, because she always has to check with me if it's ok to make plans with friends, and has to make me promise not to cancel.

I have beer plans this coming Friday with a ton of co workers that I stupidly initiated, and I'm stressing the fuck out every time someone says "can't wait till friday buddy!". I keep thinking "what excuse can I think of now in case I need to bail on them all?".

I too have recently become somewhat obsessed with Kurt Cobain. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I read books, I've been listening to Nirvana on a near constant basis. Watching their DVD's. Everything. Whatever helps, I guess.

Anyway, this is just a small part of what people like me (and maybe you) go through, so if you want to chat, pm me, or even post here. I don't mind. If it helps someone (even myself), then I'm ok with it.

Cheers man.

Thoughts_Arrive · October 2012

Thank you for taking the time to post to me guys, really appreciate it, lots of love from T_A.

Meg8686 · October 2012

You know what, I woke up this morning hours ago and I still can't get out of bed, having such a low day today. I'm up to a wierd place in life, but I think with the right attitude, we can cheer ourselves up. I'm hoping that by the end of this post, I have the urge to get out of bed and face my day ... Right, This is where I'm up to ,

I've just got out of a cruel abusive relationship. I wasn't sure If i'd ever do it. It lasted 5 looooong years. Towards the end it was abusive and ife was horrible. Think I first started posting on here when I was pretty much under house arrest by my fella. I think he felt he needed to lock me away, it gave him a kick to have me to himself and no one else got me at all.

My house rules were, no drinking, no male friends, he handled our money, no visiting anyone unless he knew where it was. He checked my phone messages, facebook. He didn't know about 10c though that was my ony hideout. Back in January I knew I had to leave. I'd have to time my escape just right so I had my own savings, qualifications and friends ready to go back to once I had left him. Saw PJ in June, a couple weeks after I was brave enough to take the leap. So I left & Now life is interesting again!!!

Now I know, I'm no freaking angel, but I'm not thaaaat bad

I have had a good two months of freedom and it's been a wonderful!! Now it's up to me alone not to fuck it all up. I've been thrown a few curveballs since and have had to move back to my small town. Where I ived before I met rob in the first place. I'm feeling an element of depression kicking in, being back in my own small town. Rob has cut me off despite oweing me a Huge sum of money, I think it's his last attempt to try to control me, but I'm not chasing him for the money. Even though it's an amount that would change my life.

I haven't always been an alcohol and drug fuelled wreckless bar wench you know. I mean. I love it and it's nice to have fun with that side of me for a while. Life is a game, if I'm happy at the end then I win it as far as I'm concerned. Just got to remember whats important, all the things I left Rob for, Family Friends, Freedom, Hapiness. Thats whats worth fighting for. Goddam you know I only post this here because no one else even knows about the abuse in our relationship. NO ONE ... apart from you , Time to shrug off the bullshit and just carry on methinks, Have grabbed my worries by the throat and life by the balls. Today will be a good day reguardless of everything else, I've decided. Time to get up.

BIG love to everyone feeling blue today x

DinghyDog · October 2012

-

pandora · October 2012

Looking back on my great depression as I call it now, I am really ashamed
because I had two small children and a husband that needed me.
We all were going through the same thing, the same changes, same losses to some degree
but it was me who just bailed.

I am not proud of this and blame myself for the bad example
I gave on how to handle life's battles.
I wanted to be better always for them.
It was that alone that finally took me out of the me me me and gave me something to live for.

What worked was requiring of myself.

Each and every day strive to be better, to be positive, to show love and to be needed.
This is living.
I never saw a doctor or used meds but if this is an option use it,
it can make a night and day difference.

As far as your friends. Count yourself lucky if you have one true one through life.
That's all we need.

I pray you meet a lovely girl, one who is natural, smart and funny.
Until then put a smile on even if you don't feel like it, it can't hurt,
she might be there smiling back.

Hugh Freaking Dillon · October 2012

Meg8686 wrote:

You know what, I woke up this morning hours ago and I still can't get out of bed, having such a low day today. I'm up to a wierd place in life, but I think with the right attitude, we can cheer ourselves up. I'm hoping that by the end of this post, I have the urge to get out of bed and face my day ... Right, This is where I'm up to ,

I've just got out of a cruel abusive relationship. I wasn't sure If i'd ever do it. It lasted 5 looooong years. Towards the end it was abusive and ife was horrible. Think I first started posting on here when I was pretty much under house arrest by my fella. I think he felt he needed to lock me away, it gave him a kick to have me to himself and no one else got me at all.

My house rules were, no drinking, no male friends, he handled our money, no visiting anyone unless he knew where it was. He checked my phone messages, facebook. He didn't know about 10c though that was my ony hideout. Back in January I knew I had to leave. I'd have to time my escape just right so I had my own savings, qualifications and friends ready to go back to once I had left him. Saw PJ in June, a couple weeks after I was brave enough to take the leap. So I left & Now life is interesting again!!!

Now I know, I'm no freaking angel, but I'm not thaaaat bad I have had a good two months of freedom and it's been a wonderful!! Now it's up to me alone not to fuck it all up. I've been thrown a few curveballs since and have had to move back to my small town. Where I ived before I met rob in the first place. I'm feeling an element of depression kicking in, being back in my own small town. Rob has cut me off despite oweing me a Huge sum of money, I think it's his last attempt to try to control me, but I'm not chasing him for the money. Even though it's an amount that would change my life.

I haven't always been an alcohol and drug fuelled wreckless bar wench you know. I mean. I love it and it's nice to have fun with that side of me for a while. Life is a game, if I'm happy at the end then I win it as far as I'm concerned. Just got to remember whats important, all the things I left Rob for, Family Friends, Freedom, Hapiness. Thats whats worth fighting for. Goddam you know I only post this here because no one else even knows about the abuse in our relationship. NO ONE ... apart from you , Time to shrug off the bullshit and just carry on methinks, Have grabbed my worries by the throat and life by the balls. Today will be a good day reguardless of everything else, I've decided. Time to get up.

BIG love to everyone feeling blue today x

good for you for taking your life back. that deserves a big

mydogmookieblaylock · October 2012

i try not to spend much time inside my head --- its dangerous in there

81 · October 2012

go get laid

Thoughts_Arrive · October 2012

81 wrote:

go get laid

Hope you are joking there.

Hugh Freaking Dillon · October 2012

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

81 wrote:

go get laid

Hope you are joking there.

don't mind 81. he always tries to lighten the mood. he means well!

pandora · November 2012

I shared this info with one close to me who has no health insurance and is depressed
about life ...

Raise your activity level.
Even a few minutes of physical activity a day will help reduce anxiety and negative thinking, break the cycle of fatigue that accompanies depression and produce natural endorphins that lift mood.
Walk, run, dance, bike, swim or do anything physical that you enjoy. Exercising outdoors brings the added benefits of fresh air and sunlight, which can help lift depressive symptoms caused by Seasonal Affective Disorder or vitamin D deficiency.
Yoga can be particularly helpful, because it incorporates exercise, relaxation and breathing.

Do something creative.
Engage in a favorite hobby, or pick up a new one. Choose activities that occupy both your mind and your body.

Watch what you eat.
Choose fresh, nutritious, easy-to-prepare foods.
Keep the ingredients of simple meals and healthy snacks available so you don’t fall back on eating fast food or skipping meals when depression makes you too tired to cook.
Limit sugars, carbs, salt and saturated fats. Depression is often linked to conditions such as insulin resistance, diabetes and heart disease. Avoid foods that trigger swings in blood sugar levels or raise blood pressure.

Supplement with vitamins.
Shortages of vitamin B and vitamin D can contribute to depression, so adding them may help. Start with foods rich in these vitamins, and discuss adding supplements with your healthcare provider.

Try herbal remedies.
There’s anecdotal evidence that herbal supplements such as St. John’s wort, licorice and gingko biloba can relieve some symptoms of depression.

Change your lifestyle, a little at a time.
Depression often goes hand-in-hand with negative life circumstances. You can’t change everything at once, but if you practice small steps toward improvement, such as applying for two jobs a day or making an appointment with a debt counselor, you may feel less overwhelmed.
Chart your progress in writing, and reward yourself for each step taken.

Avoid alcohol.
Even though some people find drinking a short-term mood lifter, alcohol is a central nervous system depressant and it will make your symptoms worse.
There may be a biochemical link between alcohol abuse and depression; each tends to make the person more vulnerable to the other.

Get adequate rest. Depression can lead to both insomnia and oversleeping.

Reach out.
Depression makes you feel as though you are living in a glass bubble or a hermit’s cave. Volunteering to help others in need can give you a break from your isolation, and is often more rewarding and less exhausting than trying to carry on your regular social activities.

Talk with someone.
There’s strong evidence that talk therapy, particularly cognitive therapy that concentrates on changing negative thought patterns, can be an effective treatment for depression, either alone or when combined with drugs.
Pastoral counseling and 12-step groups can also offer a place to talk out your feelings and get help with circumstances that accompany or are caused by depression.

Caring about someone close to you who is depressed is frightening.

It is a helpless feeling because the only one who can truly change things
is the one living the depression.
I liken it to living with an addict which I have also known. It is frustrating, encompassing,
fills your days and nights with worry. It breaks your heart and makes you angry
at the same time.

The threats of suicide leaves you numb because you can not envision yourself
without this person in your life. But there is nothing you can do or say that
seems to help.

I have been this depressed person inflicting pain and worry on my loved ones,
though no fault was theirs.

I have been the one trying to help my depressed loved one.

Feeling both sides of this I realize my role in it all. I just wish
we didn't have to live it but we do.

Thoughts_Arrive · November 2012

You forgot to include in your advice...
"Ignore people that call you selfish and make you feel guilty of fractured family relationships''
"Give up who you are and do as others say"
"Life your life how others want you to live it"
"Go to church"
"Support women in your life"

Hugh Freaking Dillon · November 2012

how ya feeling today my man? I started off my day listening to Ed's Uke Songs. Depending on my mood, sometimes music like that can bring me further down, or it can lift me up. Today it's lifing me up.

I'm seriously considering getting a uke and learning the songs (I've got the deluxe songbook after all!). I think my daughters would really like it. They love it when I play guitar for them. And they like playing the little pink uke I bought for my eldest a while back.

Take care bud,

Paul

pandora · November 2012

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

You forgot to include in your advice...
"Ignore people that call you selfish and make you feel guilty of fractured family relationships''
"Give up who you are and do as others say"
"Life your life how others want you to live it"
"Go to church"
"Support women in your life"

I assume, though you did not quote me, this is for me.... yes?

Is this what you heard? It sounds negative.

I remember hearing only negative, it was a painful angry place.
I couldn't recognize the help coming my way nor try to process it into
forward motion.
It wasn't until I realized my life was not all about me, that I had responsibilities
to those who loved me and yes who I loved back.
It was in that moment that I appreciated, really appreciated life and knew
what my motivation was. To live for others.

This is me though not you and again I am sorry you do not understand
my motives for wanting goodness, happiness for you.

If the shoes does not fit don't wear it if it does walk your path happy.

Thoughts_Arrive · November 2012

pandora wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

You forgot to include in your advice...
"Ignore people that call you selfish and make you feel guilty of fractured family relationships''
"Give up who you are and do as others say"
"Life your life how others want you to live it"
"Go to church"
"Support women in your life"

I assume, though you did not quote me, this is for me.... yes?

Is this what you heard? It sounds negative.

I remember hearing only negative, it was a painful angry place.
I couldn't recognize the help coming my way nor try to process it into
forward motion.
It wasn't until I realized my life was not all about me, that I had responsibilities
to those who loved me and yes who I loved back.
It was in that moment that I appreciated, really appreciated life and knew
what my motivation was. To live for others.

This is me though not you and again I am sorry you do not understand
my motives for wanting goodness, happiness for you.

If the shoes does not fit don't wear it if it does walk your path happy.

Kat/Sea make her stop pleaaaaaaase.
Better still, lock this one I don't want to read her crap anymore, she's been going out of her way across two threads now to anger me. I have politely asked her to stop and she will not.

pandora · November 2012

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

pandora wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

You forgot to include in your advice...
"Ignore people that call you selfish and make you feel guilty of fractured family relationships''
"Give up who you are and do as others say"
"Life your life how others want you to live it"
"Go to church"
"Support women in your life"

I assume, though you did not quote me, this is for me.... yes?

Is this what you heard? It sounds negative.

I remember hearing only negative, it was a painful angry place.
I couldn't recognize the help coming my way nor try to process it into
forward motion.
It wasn't until I realized my life was not all about me, that I had responsibilities
to those who loved me and yes who I loved back.
It was in that moment that I appreciated, really appreciated life and knew
what my motivation was. To live for others.

This is me though not you and again I am sorry you do not understand
my motives for wanting goodness, happiness for you.

If the shoes does not fit don't wear it if it does walk your path happy.

Kat/Sea make her stop pleaaaaaaase.
Better still, lock this one I don't want to read her crap anymore, she's been going out of her way across two threads now to anger me. I have politely asked her to stop and she will not.

The mods want people to use the ignore feature, you have not ignored anything I have said.
Why? The fact you think kind words and sharing related experiences
is intended to anger, you are in a place to either ignore share or learn.
Another choice.

Perhaps you will choose one or the other and of course I will follow suit.

On a side note, we are in all in a unique situation to learn and share here.
Age differences and opinions certainly effect this.

The 20 something's, through their life experiences, can share to teens,
they can give youthful insight to current troubles in the world, I have learned
much from the young people here, a new fresh look.

The just over the hill gang may have friendly advice about career and child raising,
the AARP crowd might have some experiences and lessons from hindsight is 20/20
and the wisdom that grandparents bring to the table.

These just a few examples, certainly not limited to what we all can share.

My positivity tells me...
Life is tough, yes for everyone ...
all people really want to do is try to make it easier for others.

comebackgirl · November 2012

TA started this thread to connect with others through his depression, and I hope that for the most part it has been helpful. While we all have the ability to use the ignore feature and set our own boundaries, I also think it's important to respect others' boundaries when they have been expressed. That would be in keeping with the spirit of the board.

Hope you're doing ok TA.

So fkn depressed

Comments

Categories