I beat Cancer ... I hope :)
Comments
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Katyz wrote:imalive wrote:thanks, you guys.
I forgot to mention I just heard that another fire captain I worked with (same shift, same station) has multiple myeloma (blood cancer). this guy has always been kind of a bullshitter who never really gives anyone the real story about anything...so I don't know much...but I know myeloma is not good. it killed my across the street neighbor in vegas.
so, since I've left the FD (last August) there's been me, the guy I just mentioned, another 48 year old with a cancerous brain tumor and a guy in his 50s who recently died from pancreatic cancer. this shit is beginning to piss me off, you know? All of our cancers are completely different and I think it's more a coincidence than job related. then again, who knows? at any rate, cancer sucks. I sadly think my long term prognosis is the best of us four...
Everyone's experience is different with cancer and when you hear about those less fortunate than you (can you believe I am using those words???) it can make you even more angry for so many reasons. You are going through hell...chemo saps every inch of life out of you both mentally and physically...you will have good days with acceptance, bad days with total anger and resentment, and days when you just feel like finding a way to forget abut it all. You share your roller coaster and let us in on such dark places and also some good ones too. You remind us of why we are lucky despite the fact a kid pissed me off today as I was teaching, or an idiot almost ran me off the road...Your story is important and I am so grateful that you continue to share.
Try not to look for blame...people in the same type of job with different cancers is not an indication that the job can be a cause. keep your chin up, take one day at a time, empathize with others but try not to let their fight consume you...you ahve your own right now, and keep living life to the fullest xxx
Coming to this thread makes my day every time. I wish it weren't so for obvious reasons but it really does.
Keep on keeping on Rob. Hope you're having a half way decent day.
Peace.09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;
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Katyz wrote:
Everyone's experience is different with cancer and when you hear about those less fortunate than you (can you believe I am using those words???) it can make you even more angry for so many reasons. You are going through hell...chemo saps every inch of life out of you both mentally and physically...you will have good days with acceptance, bad days with total anger and resentment, and days when you just feel like finding a way to forget abut it all. You share your roller coaster and let us in on such dark places and also some good ones too. You remind us of why we are lucky despite the fact a kid pissed me off today as I was teaching, or an idiot almost ran me off the road...Your story is important and I am so grateful that you continue to share.
Try not to look for blame...people in the same type of job with different cancers is not an indication that the job can be a cause. keep your chin up, take one day at a time, empathize with others but try not to let their fight consume you...you ahve your own right now, and keep living life to the fullest xxx
I'll bet it was really worse for you than it was for Sammy. As the patient, you just do what you gotta do and look forward to the day this spring when all of this will be hopefully behind me.
With all your guys' help, I'm probably doing better than you might expect. Most of the time my disposition is quite sunny!
P.S. it turns out the co-worker I mentioned (the bullshitter) has Mantle Cell Lymphoma, not multiple myeloma. Either way.....not good
If I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14Philly I & II, 16Denver 22
Missoula 240 -
imalive wrote:Katyz wrote:
Everyone's experience is different with cancer and when you hear about those less fortunate than you (can you believe I am using those words???) it can make you even more angry for so many reasons. You are going through hell...chemo saps every inch of life out of you both mentally and physically...you will have good days with acceptance, bad days with total anger and resentment, and days when you just feel like finding a way to forget abut it all. You share your roller coaster and let us in on such dark places and also some good ones too. You remind us of why we are lucky despite the fact a kid pissed me off today as I was teaching, or an idiot almost ran me off the road...Your story is important and I am so grateful that you continue to share.
Try not to look for blame...people in the same type of job with different cancers is not an indication that the job can be a cause. keep your chin up, take one day at a time, empathize with others but try not to let their fight consume you...you ahve your own right now, and keep living life to the fullest xxx
I'll bet it was really worse for you than it was for Sammy. As the patient, you just do what you gotta do and look forward to the day this spring when all of this will be hopefully behind me.
With all your guys' help, I'm probably doing better than you might expect. Most of the time my disposition is quite sunny!
P.S. it turns out the co-worker I mentioned (the bullshitter) has Mantle Cell Lymphoma, not multiple myeloma. Either way.....not good
Next spring it WILL be all behind you and you will look back and ask "How the hell did I get through that?" But now you are on the Long Road of shittiness (sorry...still can't help it) and you have to take a day at a time. You have no choice, the same as Sammy, but you are remarkable and doing so well. I feel for the other guy...but I learned that you 'meet' so many cancer patients..some with hope, some with none...we just have to give them our best wishes and keep on fighting. I cried each time Sammy lost a friend, but celebrated those who completed treatment with pride, joy and hope for ourselves. And no matter what....no matter who you talk to... no matter how you feel....CANCER SUCKS!!!!0 -
How ya doin' today Rob? Hope you're well!
Was raking leaves last night in front of my house and this guy walking his dog stopped to chat. He had an 18 month old golden. Just a beautiful sweet doggie. Made me think of you and Gracie. Go take her for a walk and enjoy the day!
Peace.09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;
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Halifax2TheMax wrote:Made me think of you and Gracie. Go take her for a walk and enjoy the day!
well, I am Dog Owner of the Year....you should have seen the freezing rain crap we were walking in this morning. and, of course, wet gracie is now lying on the humans' bed :roll:
I'm not loving this "super chemo" they're giving me. I was about to type that this is way worse than the first round but I just now remembered the stomach cramps, the mouth sores, the peeling skin :x
I guess this round is just different. I've had a headache since thursday, food doesn't taste right, my hands go numb if I touch anything the least bit cold, my calves ache :wtf: and the first few bites of anything are agony, until my jaw loosens. I am hoping all these symptoms will lessen by Thanksgiving and I think they will. I would certainly like to eat and drink way too much on thursday.....like any other "normal" americanIf I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
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Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14Philly I & II, 16Denver 22
Missoula 240 -
Sorry to read things are not so great, Rob. You have been so brave and strong!
I hope you can enjoy Thanksgiving like us "normal" americans.
I googled "gobble gobble" to post a pic and got this:So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me0 -
^^^^ surprised you didn't want to make an SF comment about that :shock:
and, oh yeah, I woke up with a big ol' bloody nose last night. take that, fucking cancer cells! :xIf I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14Philly I & II, 16Denver 22
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I hope you get to feeling better, Rob, and can enjoy a fantastic feast! Right on!!!0
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chemo is nasty shit...hang tough rob
and when exactly were ever normal? :think:0 -
My last message to you ~
You're right. You are a monster! You are sick! Get help!
At least, I am not a fuck-up! A lying fuck-up!0 -
Hey Rob,
Just wanted to come in here and say I'm thinking about you and hope all is well up on the more-eastern side of SLC.Hope you feel better and continue to feel better!
See you soon, neighbor. :wave:7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 20 -
Lizard wrote:imalive wrote:^^^^ surprised you didn't want to make an SF comment about that :shock:
i like the city, just not a certain team!!
LA, on the other hand..... :silent:If I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14Philly I & II, 16Denver 22
Missoula 240 -
Lizard - oh my word2009 - Manchester. 2010 - Dublin, Belfast, London, Berlin, Arras, Werchter. 2011 - PJ20 i & ii, Montreal, Toronto i & ii, Ottawa, Hamilton.
2012 - Manchester i & ii, Berlin i & ii, Stockholm. 2014 - Amsterdam i & ii, Trieste, Vienna, Berlin, Leeds, Milton Keynes.
2016 - Boston Fenway i & ii, 2018 - Amsterdam i & ii, Pinkpop, London i & ii, Padova, Krakow, Barcelona, Seattle i & ii.0 -
imalive wrote:Halifax2TheMax wrote:Made me think of you and Gracie. Go take her for a walk and enjoy the day!
well, I am Dog Owner of the Year....you should have seen the freezing rain crap we were walking in this morning. and, of course, wet gracie is now lying on the humans' bed :roll:
I'm not loving this "super chemo" they're giving me. I was about to type that this is way worse than the first round but I just now remembered the stomach cramps, the mouth sores, the peeling skin :x
I guess this round is just different. I've had a headache since thursday, food doesn't taste right, my hands go numb if I touch anything the least bit cold, my calves ache :wtf: and the first few bites of anything are agony, until my jaw loosens. I am hoping all these symptoms will lessen by Thanksgiving and I think they will. I would certainly like to eat and drink way too much on thursday.....like any other "normal" american
Whether this round of chemo is worse, better, different or what, it sounds pretty sucky!
I can't imagine having the taste of food ruined for you right before our biggest foodie holiday. I hope Thursday is still an enjoyable day with lots of tasty treats and brews for the game time!"The stars are all connected to the brain."0 -
imalive wrote:Halifax2TheMax wrote:Made me think of you and Gracie. Go take her for a walk and enjoy the day!
well, I am Dog Owner of the Year....you should have seen the freezing rain crap we were walking in this morning. and, of course, wet gracie is now lying on the humans' bed :roll:
I'm not loving this "super chemo" they're giving me. I was about to type that this is way worse than the first round but I just now remembered the stomach cramps, the mouth sores, the peeling skin :x
I guess this round is just different. I've had a headache since thursday, food doesn't taste right, my hands go numb if I touch anything the least bit cold, my calves ache :wtf: and the first few bites of anything are agony, until my jaw loosens. I am hoping all these symptoms will lessen by Thanksgiving and I think they will. I would certainly like to eat and drink way too much on thursday.....like any other "normal" american
Well, I hope she had the good manners to wipe her feet before jumping up into that bed! Don't really have any advice for how to deal with how you're feeling of late other than to say with each passing day, the end of the chemo gets closer. That being said, I hope that you have a nice appetite on Thursday and are able to enjoy the day. I'll keep you in my thoughts and raise a bloody mary and a beer to you when I start my day.
Be well Rob and keep Gracie away from the dessert table. Hang tough my friend, hang tough!
Peace.09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;
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Halifax2TheMax wrote:
Be well Rob and keep Gracie away from the dessert table. Hang tough my friend, hang tough!
luckily, gracie and the dessert table will be in two different locations
heading out right now for a greasy burger and a few brews. don't know if I'm really up for it...but I'm going to try!If I had known then what I know now...
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14Philly I & II, 16Denver 22
Missoula 240 -
hey Rob, hope the beer washed down the burger just fine.
1995 San Francisco
San JoseSan Diego 2 shows
2003 Missoula
2005 Missoula
2006 Denver 2 shows with Tom PettyGorge 2 shows
2009 UtahLA1
LA2
2012 Missoula : Meet and Greet : "Instant Classic show"
2013 PortlandSpokane
2018 Missoula
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imalive wrote:Halifax2TheMax wrote:
Be well Rob and keep Gracie away from the dessert table. Hang tough my friend, hang tough!
luckily, gracie and the dessert table will be in two different locations
heading out right now for a greasy burger and a few brews. don't know if I'm really up for it...but I'm going to try!
Awesome! What will you have more of? Hmmmm, greasy burger or brews? I hope you brought Gracie back a bite?09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN; 05/04/2024 & 05/06/2024, Vancouver, BC; 05/10/2024, Portland, OR;
Libtardaplorable©. And proud of it.
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Checking in with you Rob!
Sorry you're feeling 'shitty'...but I'm sure a big Gracie hug will make you feel better.
I'll be thinking of you this weekend.
(I do think you should at least give Gracie a bite of pumpkin pie...pumpkin is good for doggies...keeps them 'regular')The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
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