So it's over now...

decides2dream wrote:

stargirl69 wrote:

81 wrote:

what's the rule...you can feel bad for one week per year together?

I was once told the healing time is half the time you were together ..... I discovered that was a lie!

It will take as long as it takes

:shock:
i like 81s timeline better.
if yours is correct, if my current relationship ever fell apart, it would take me 10+ years to get over it!!!
guess i better make sure we stick it out.



as to the OP, i am so sorry. :(
it sucks, plain and simple.
as others have suggested, if it's meant to work out, perhaps down the road you'll find your way back to each other. and, if not - well i think there's someone else out there for you. right now, give yourself time to wallow, absolutely, but as get_right suggests, then get out there and get some strange!

just doing a quick google search and see everything from half the time, to a 1/4 of the time, to one month per year together

i could see it taking a year if you were together a long time....

you have to go thru the each of the holiday/birthday/anniversy cycles once before it is out of the system

or just jump into a new relationshipo and forget about it.

81 wrote:

i could see it taking a year if you were together a long time....

you have to go thru the each of the holiday/birthday/anniversy cycles once before it is out of the system

or just jump into a new relationshipo and forget about it.

i think for me, it would be a mixture of these both....i'd need the time to get it all out of my system and be emotional, but would probably just jump right in, ya know, just to help me get my mind off it.

rick1zoo2 wrote:

81 wrote:

i could see it taking a year if you were together a long time....

you have to go thru the each of the holiday/birthday/anniversy cycles once before it is out of the system

or just jump into a new relationshipo and forget about it.

or, how is this theory: The relationship was a long one, say about 20 years and you knew the relationship was basically over several years before it actually ended and you were just there becasue of the kids and because you couldn't afford to leave. Could that result in you being over it well before it actually ended? Just wondering.

*paging dr. 81*



i am no expert, but knowing someone is a semi-related situation as you, i most definitely think that would make a HUGE difference. in her case, her husband of 25 years suffered thru a long illness and then died. however, it seems she was not really in love, not the happiest marriage - stayed together for the family, b/c she felt it was the right thing to do, etc, especially when he was ill. afterwards tho, she got right out there dating, and now is dating one exclusively and looking to remarry.

anyhoo, the scenario you mention seems very plausible. i think there may still be a small window of time of "mourning the loss" of the end of a relationship, even a bad one - though i'd think if there was a long period of unhappiness in the end of the relationship, and/or a long period of separation, even without "technically" being divorced ... would make all the difference. so long-winded response that simply could've been a resounding "yes" to your final question. :P

81 wrote:

i could see it taking a year if you were together a long time....

you have to go thru the each of the holiday/birthday/anniversy cycles once before it is out of the system

or just jump into a new relationshipo and forget about it.

Make sure you jump in head first and you'll soon forget..

Hope you are Ok. Time heals all wounds

Green Circle wrote:

Agreed, easier said than done I know, but you, in the end You are the Master of your own Salvation. To sit and dwell if what you COULD have done, and how you COULD have been better to her is almost pointless.

Here is your homework for Friday night. cancel all current plans. Find one of your good friends call him or her over. Crank some PJ, get shit faced, cry over your loss. But then when the night is over and pass out.

and when you wake up. BE DONE. MOVE ON. The Dawning of a New Life. Spend sometime alone.
and you will survive this loss and find new love.


I promise

Good words GC.