PJ fans in 12 step Recovery

I posted this poem on the Poetry forum like several years ago.. but it's quite appropriate for here..
This is called "360 Degrees"
A life full of lies,
A notion surreal,
As I wind further down
The bartender's reel.

Secret ambitions,
A malevolent scene,
Buried in liquor,
On a shot glass I lean.

Party is dull,
Need more Royal Crown,
The night's never over,
Til I hit the ground.

Replacing my memories,
With Jack D and Jim Beam,
Tequila kills pain,
As down it streams.

Sordid convulsions,
In bathrooms so "mod",
Nothing new in bowing,
To the porcelin God.

Headache to kill me,
To my hangover, succumb,
I desperately search,
For anything that numbs.

Saved by a dollar,
To the bar stumbles me,
To find the hair of the dog,
That always bites me.

Money on counter,
A shot; liquid sin,
My vicious circle,
Has begun once again.

Drown all these sorrows,
Take them from me,
Real are my fears,
And these nightmares I see.

And so I pray..
Now I pass out, worthless this sleep..
Once I am out, may I never wake.
Not much of my soul that's worthy to keep..
But what little is left I pray God will take.

Tree Tomsen

mickeyrat wrote:

just not feelin the love today. road trip meeting tonight. not sure how far. we'll see. Could be just what the doctor ordered. My mood is not fair to my S.O.


Then theres this concert business. Was given the chance last minute. Dumbass that I am, said no. Couldnt jusify going into debt for this.Didnt seem wise to me. Still doesnt , but......... :twisted:

Take a breath and chill out. Thats the advice I'm trying to take.

Have a great meeting and rock out to PJ on the way.. that'll make ANYONE feel better.. and you did the right thing now getting yourself into trouble..I seriously contemplated losing my job to go too.. but decided better against it..

i shit and i stink wrote:

Thanks for the kind words. I'm sure I've posted it a hundred times before but repeating the same old stories is par for the course in our world, isn't it?!

I got into the 12 step program through this board. I was reading the posts of you good people here and I just felt that you all had something I wanted. I could identify on the level of being an addict but also that we were into the same music, etc. I thought "these people are just like me" and so I fired a PM to one of the members here and I've had 730 really great days since then. Two years ago I was a lousy father, now I'm adequate and on my good days I'm better than that. 2 years ago my business was looking at falling apart, now I'm in the process of buying a house knowing that it is healthy and will continue to be for a while. And a million other unquantifiable things have gotten better in my life. And that wouldn't have happened for me and those in my life if I hadn't read this thread. So, when I say "thanks" to you all, I'm not you being facile, I mean it from the very core of my being.

So glad you made it brother!!!