Problems explaing PJ to the girlfriend?

5against1- · July 2008

I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

hopethatuchoke · July 2008

5against1- wrote:

I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

What's your problem with Incubus?

rollingstone423 · July 2008

incubus sucks and so does nickelback- you need to find a new girlfriend

DriftingByTheStorm · July 2008

Girlfriend: So I don't get it, WHY exactly do you love PJ so much? I mean, they sound alright and all, but they aren't all that, are they? I mean, that singer guy is no Kid Rock.

You: Ahem! [Holds door open, giving her "the look"]

Her: Huh?

You: GET! [SLAM DOOR SHUT]

End of problem.

PittGrrl04 · July 2008

OK, as a girlfriend of a fanatical fan who is NOW a pretty fanatical fan herself, here's what worked on me:

1) Make her a CD of all the slow, "sit-down", "sing-along" songs. You know, Betterman, Long Road, the last track of every album, Black, Small Town, etc. You can include B-sides and other rarities, but nothing too crazy. No Satan's Bed or anything like that.

2) Once she begins to like this CD and asks for more, give her some shows that are heavy on the songs from section 1, so that she can begin to appreciate the band live, but on the girly songs she likes. Like Benaroya Hall. Plus, it will start to expose her to the other faster songs that you love.

3) After passing these two steps, she is ready to go to ONE show. But only one during the next tour. You should preferably go to a show that is close to where you live, and you should have great 10c tickets. Oh, and at this show, try to keep your poster obsession to a minimum... its annoying to get to the show super early and stand in line for a poster when you are just a casual fan at this point.

4) By now, she should be on her way to being hooked, so start her listening to more shows with rarer songs and "songs boys like to go crazy over"... Leash, DTE, etc.

5) The next tour will come, and she will be BEGGING to go to as many shows as possible.

This is literally what my boyfriend did with me starting in 2003, and on this last tour we took a week's vacation and went to 6 shows (DC through Mansfield II). So for me, it was a 5 year process, but it was worth it. I love Pearl Jam, and I love him!

hopethatuchoke · July 2008

rollingstone423 wrote:

incubus sucks

Nah...they don't. Very talented band.

rollingstone423 wrote:

and so does nickelback

Yeah they do

5against1- · July 2008

DriftingByTheStorm wrote:

Girlfriend: So I don't get it, WHY exactly do you love PJ so much? I mean, they sound alright and all, but they aren't all that, are they? I mean, that singer guy is no Kid Rock.

You: Ahem! [Holds door open, giving her "the look"]

Her: Huh?

You: GET! [SLAM DOOR SHUT]

End of problem.

HAHA very funny comment, but she is to special:)

Ledbetterman10 · July 2008

I love Incubus' first two albums but can pretty much leave the rest....though there are some good songs here and there.

release30 · July 2008

If she loves you she will understand....Mine does...

mnicole22 · July 2008

5against1- wrote:

I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

hmmm....some folks get it, some don't. You just gotta love each other unconditionally. I personally have such a hard time respecting people who don't like PJ...which is really MY problem, I guess.

Just keep drilling those beautiful tunes into her brain. She'll wise up.

(Nickelback??...really???....no....so sad)

JaneNY · July 2008

Welcome to the world of having people around you that don't get Pearl Jam. The best you can do is have a kid, bring them to shows, and hopefully they will like them. It worked for me!

5against1- · July 2008

hopethatuchoke wrote:

What's your problem with Incubus?

Incubus was ok years ago then they sold out.

mauichick · July 2008

PittGrrl04 wrote:

OK, as a girlfriend of a fanatical fan who is NOW a pretty fanatical fan herself, here's what worked on me:

1) Make her a CD of all the slow, "sit-down", "sing-along" songs. You know, Betterman, Long Road, the last track of every album, Black, Small Town, etc. You can include B-sides and other rarities, but nothing too crazy. No Satan's Bed or anything like that.

2) Once she begins to like this CD and asks for more, give her some shows that are heavy on the songs from section 1, so that she can begin to appreciate the band live, but on the girly songs she likes. Like Benaroya Hall. Plus, it will start to expose her to the other faster songs that you love.

3) After passing these two steps, she is ready to go to ONE show. But only one during the next tour. You should preferably go to a show that is close to where you live, and you should have great 10c tickets. Oh, and at this show, try to keep your poster obsession to a minimum... its annoying to get to the show super early and stand in line for a poster when you are just a casual fan at this point.

4) By now, she should be on her way to being hooked, so start her listening to more shows with rarer songs and "songs boys like to go crazy over"... Leash, DTE, etc.

5) The next tour will come, and she will be BEGGING to go to as many shows as possible.

This is literally what my boyfriend did with me starting in 2003, and on this last tour we took a week's vacation and went to 6 shows (DC through Mansfield II). So for me, it was a 5 year process, but it was worth it. I love Pearl Jam, and I love him!

For me, I started with step 1 and then jumped to step 5
1st show experience was roadtripp'n to 6
step 1 tunes were daughter,black, yellow led...
I didn't appreciate the hard stuff until i saw them played live
Tunes I "hated" on record, i ended up loving live (a la Blood)

Not all guys get it either, especially when I lived in FLA

mnicole22 · July 2008

mauichick wrote:

Not all guys get it either, especially when I lived in FLA

So true. I always expect guys to understand my sickness for Pearl Jam. Not so much.

Left Porch · July 2008

I agree with what someone said earlier, give her all the slow songs first, maybe even the Into the Wild soundtrack, then slowly work her up to the Bloods and Lukins of PJ's library. I dated one girl who I got into PJ, but she already had a pretty good taste in music, on the other hand I dated another girl who listened to a bunch of crap and she only liked Betterman, Small Town, stuff like that. If she's a nickelback fan, you might not have much luck though haha. Good luck though, I've been in your situation.

5against1- · July 2008

mnicole22 wrote:

So true. I always expect guys to understand my sickness for Pearl Jam. Not so much.[/quote

Yeah it used to cause arguments, for me, but now i'm taking a different approach

5against1- · July 2008

Thanks everyone for the advise I'll post later and let you know how it worked out.
These vedder shows are gonna be special!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stephen Flow · July 2008

lol...

This tour was the first for my girl ... she was a casual fan, (through me of course) beforehand... we knew each other for 6 years before we started dating and my love for the band was well known in high school... I was "that guy that loves pearl jam" to most people in school... I think this made it easier for her to understand.

Anyway I went to 5 shows, she went to 3... during my last show, she stayed home and FOLLOWED the setlist online... I came home and she told me this and I was like WTF!

She keeps telling me that she "misses pearl jam" and she hums Oceans while cleaning... and also plays PJ in her car all the time now... I got in her car the other day and a bootleg was playing and jokingly I asked her if she was playing it for me and she said "No, I've been listening to this for 2 weeks now"

I am well on my way to conversion with this one.

Daisy_Buchanan · July 2008

PittGrrl04 wrote:

OK, as a girlfriend of a fanatical fan who is NOW a pretty fanatical fan herself, here's what worked on me...

This is solid advice...and how my ex bf got me hooked on Tool...

...he was still working on Incubus when we split.

release30 · July 2008

I also think age becomes a factor...Talking PJ with your 18 year old girlfriend and discussing it with your girl in her 20's or 30's changes everthing...

5882300 · July 2008

5against1- wrote:

I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

Those bands are horrible, it is time for a new girl friend mate. Your sig other doesn't need to understand but they must respect.

Problems explaing PJ to the girlfriend?

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