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Problems explaing PJ to the girlfriend?

5against1-5against1- Posts: 1,101
edited July 2008 in The Porch
I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.
This too shall pass.....
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    hopethatuchokehopethatuchoke Posts: 2,930
    5against1- wrote:
    I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.


    What's your problem with Incubus?
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    rollingstone423rollingstone423 Posts: 485
    incubus sucks and so does nickelback- you need to find a new girlfriend
    8/25/00NY, 9/1/00NJ, 4/30/03NY, 7/2&3/03MSG, 7/14/03NJ, 10/13/04 EdW/Boss, 9/24&25/05 St Johns, 5/13/06CT, 5/27&28/06NJ, 6/1/06NJ, 6/3/06NJ, 6/24/06 OH, 7/15-16/06CA, Lolla07, DC, MSGx2, MA1, ED SOLO NYC1&2!
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    DriftingByTheStormDriftingByTheStorm Posts: 8,684
    Girlfriend: So I don't get it, WHY exactly do you love PJ so much? I mean, they sound alright and all, but they aren't all that, are they? I mean, that singer guy is no Kid Rock.

    You: Ahem! [Holds door open, giving her "the look"]

    Her: Huh?

    You: GET! [SLAM DOOR SHUT]

    End of problem.
    :D
    If I was to smile and I held out my hand
    If I opened it now would you not understand?
  • Options
    PittGrrl04PittGrrl04 Posts: 4
    OK, as a girlfriend of a fanatical fan who is NOW a pretty fanatical fan herself, here's what worked on me:

    1) Make her a CD of all the slow, "sit-down", "sing-along" songs. You know, Betterman, Long Road, the last track of every album, Black, Small Town, etc. You can include B-sides and other rarities, but nothing too crazy. No Satan's Bed or anything like that.

    2) Once she begins to like this CD and asks for more, give her some shows that are heavy on the songs from section 1, so that she can begin to appreciate the band live, but on the girly songs she likes. Like Benaroya Hall. Plus, it will start to expose her to the other faster songs that you love.

    3) After passing these two steps, she is ready to go to ONE show. But only one during the next tour. You should preferably go to a show that is close to where you live, and you should have great 10c tickets. Oh, and at this show, try to keep your poster obsession to a minimum... its annoying to get to the show super early and stand in line for a poster when you are just a casual fan at this point.

    4) By now, she should be on her way to being hooked, so start her listening to more shows with rarer songs and "songs boys like to go crazy over"... Leash, DTE, etc.

    5) The next tour will come, and she will be BEGGING to go to as many shows as possible.

    This is literally what my boyfriend did with me starting in 2003, and on this last tour we took a week's vacation and went to 6 shows (DC through Mansfield II). So for me, it was a 5 year process, but it was worth it. I love Pearl Jam, and I love him!
    03 Pittsburgh
    05 Toronto
    06 Pittsburgh, Cincinnati
    08 Washington DC, MSG I&II, Hartford, Mansfield I&II, EV Toronto I
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    hopethatuchokehopethatuchoke Posts: 2,930
    rollingstone423 wrote:
    incubus sucks

    Nah...they don't. Very talented band.
    rollingstone423 wrote:
    and so does nickelback

    Yeah they do
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    5against1-5against1- Posts: 1,101
    DriftingByTheStorm wrote:
    Girlfriend: So I don't get it, WHY exactly do you love PJ so much? I mean, they sound alright and all, but they aren't all that, are they? I mean, that singer guy is no Kid Rock.

    You: Ahem! [Holds door open, giving her "the look"]

    Her: Huh?

    You: GET! [SLAM DOOR SHUT]

    End of problem.
    :D
    HAHA very funny comment, but she is to special:)
    This too shall pass.....
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    Ledbetterman10Ledbetterman10 Posts: 16,753
    I love Incubus' first two albums but can pretty much leave the rest....though there are some good songs here and there.
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
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    release30release30 Posts: 2,051
    If she loves you she will understand....Mine does...
    Conversations getting dull
    There's a constant ringing in my ears
    Sense of humor's void and numb
    And I'm bored to tears.......
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    mnicole22mnicole22 Posts: 417
    5against1- wrote:
    I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

    hmmm....some folks get it, some don't. You just gotta love each other unconditionally. I personally have such a hard time respecting people who don't like PJ...which is really MY problem, I guess. ;) Just keep drilling those beautiful tunes into her brain. She'll wise up.

    (Nickelback??...really???....no....so sad)
    AKA Cinnamon Girl :(

    05-10-06
    08-05-07
    06-14-08
    08-12-08 (EV)
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    JaneNYJaneNY Posts: 4,438
    Welcome to the world of having people around you that don't get Pearl Jam. The best you can do is have a kid, bring them to shows, and hopefully they will like them. It worked for me!
    R.i.p. Rigoberto Alpizar.
    R.i.p. My Dad - May 28, 2007
    R.i.p. Black Tail (cat) - Sept. 20, 2008
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    5against1-5against1- Posts: 1,101
    hopethatuchoke wrote:
    What's your problem with Incubus?
    Incubus was ok years ago then they sold out.
    This too shall pass.....
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    mauichickmauichick Posts: 964
    PittGrrl04 wrote:
    OK, as a girlfriend of a fanatical fan who is NOW a pretty fanatical fan herself, here's what worked on me:

    1) Make her a CD of all the slow, "sit-down", "sing-along" songs. You know, Betterman, Long Road, the last track of every album, Black, Small Town, etc. You can include B-sides and other rarities, but nothing too crazy. No Satan's Bed or anything like that.

    2) Once she begins to like this CD and asks for more, give her some shows that are heavy on the songs from section 1, so that she can begin to appreciate the band live, but on the girly songs she likes. Like Benaroya Hall. Plus, it will start to expose her to the other faster songs that you love.

    3) After passing these two steps, she is ready to go to ONE show. But only one during the next tour. You should preferably go to a show that is close to where you live, and you should have great 10c tickets. Oh, and at this show, try to keep your poster obsession to a minimum... its annoying to get to the show super early and stand in line for a poster when you are just a casual fan at this point.

    4) By now, she should be on her way to being hooked, so start her listening to more shows with rarer songs and "songs boys like to go crazy over"... Leash, DTE, etc.

    5) The next tour will come, and she will be BEGGING to go to as many shows as possible.

    This is literally what my boyfriend did with me starting in 2003, and on this last tour we took a week's vacation and went to 6 shows (DC through Mansfield II). So for me, it was a 5 year process, but it was worth it. I love Pearl Jam, and I love him!


    For me, I started with step 1 and then jumped to step 5
    1st show experience was roadtripp'n to 6
    step 1 tunes were daughter,black, yellow led...
    I didn't appreciate the hard stuff until i saw them played live
    Tunes I "hated" on record, i ended up loving live (a la Blood)

    Not all guys get it either, especially when I lived in FLA
    '96 7 shows / '97 3 shows / '98 15 shows
    '00 12 shows / '03 4 shows / '06 6 shows
    '08 3 shows / '09 5 shows / '10 6 shows
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    mnicole22mnicole22 Posts: 417
    mauichick wrote:

    Not all guys get it either, especially when I lived in FLA

    So true. I always expect guys to understand my sickness for Pearl Jam. Not so much.
    AKA Cinnamon Girl :(

    05-10-06
    08-05-07
    06-14-08
    08-12-08 (EV)
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    Left PorchLeft Porch Posts: 839
    I agree with what someone said earlier, give her all the slow songs first, maybe even the Into the Wild soundtrack, then slowly work her up to the Bloods and Lukins of PJ's library. I dated one girl who I got into PJ, but she already had a pretty good taste in music, on the other hand I dated another girl who listened to a bunch of crap and she only liked Betterman, Small Town, stuff like that. If she's a nickelback fan, you might not have much luck though haha. Good luck though, I've been in your situation.
    Uniondale. 2003
    MSG 1+2. 2010
    Wrigley. Brooklyn 2. Hartford. 2013
    St. Louis. Denver. 2014
    Global Citizens Festival. 2015
    MSG 2. Fenway 2. Wrigley 1. 2016
    Safeco 2. Missoula. 2018
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    5against1-5against1- Posts: 1,101
    mnicole22 wrote:
    So true. I always expect guys to understand my sickness for Pearl Jam. Not so much.[/quote

    Yeah it used to cause arguments, for me, but now i'm taking a different approach
    This too shall pass.....
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    5against1-5against1- Posts: 1,101
    Thanks everyone for the advise I'll post later and let you know how it worked out.
    These vedder shows are gonna be special!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    This too shall pass.....
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    Stephen FlowStephen Flow Posts: 3,327
    lol...

    This tour was the first for my girl ... she was a casual fan, (through me of course) beforehand... we knew each other for 6 years before we started dating and my love for the band was well known in high school... I was "that guy that loves pearl jam" to most people in school... I think this made it easier for her to understand.

    Anyway I went to 5 shows, she went to 3... during my last show, she stayed home and FOLLOWED the setlist online... I came home and she told me this and I was like WTF!

    She keeps telling me that she "misses pearl jam" and she hums Oceans while cleaning... and also plays PJ in her car all the time now... I got in her car the other day and a bootleg was playing and jokingly I asked her if she was playing it for me and she said "No, I've been listening to this for 2 weeks now"

    I am well on my way to conversion with this one.
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    Daisy_BuchananDaisy_Buchanan Posts: 162
    PittGrrl04 wrote:
    OK, as a girlfriend of a fanatical fan who is NOW a pretty fanatical fan herself, here's what worked on me...

    This is solid advice...and how my ex bf got me hooked on Tool...

    ...he was still working on Incubus when we split. :D
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    release30release30 Posts: 2,051
    I also think age becomes a factor...Talking PJ with your 18 year old girlfriend and discussing it with your girl in her 20's or 30's changes everthing...
    Conversations getting dull
    There's a constant ringing in my ears
    Sense of humor's void and numb
    And I'm bored to tears.......
  • Options
    58823005882300 Posts: 813
    5against1- wrote:
    I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

    Those bands are horrible, it is time for a new girl friend mate. Your sig other doesn't need to understand but they must respect.
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    tmud91087tmud91087 Posts: 97
    I took mine to both shows in Mass because, get this, no one else wanted to go because they said it was too much! What morons...Anyway the first show she said she liked and she was dancing but i felt she was a little intimidated in a way. Then Monday night we had much better seats and were sitting with a better crowd and now shes a fresh member of the Jamily!
    5/24/06 - Boston
    5/25/06 - Boston
    6/28/08 - Mansfield
    6/30/08 - Mansfield
    8/2/08 - Eddie in Boston (FRONT ROW!)
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    PJLaurPJLaur Posts: 78
    5against1- wrote:
    I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it. My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. I know there is more to a relationship than just music but I often have to hold back on talking about them. I'm slowly playing different boots for her. She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

    As a Hardcore PJ fan, I once struck up a conversation with a guy who told me his favorite band in the whole wide world was Dashboard Confessional. It really turned me off.

    I like a guy that I can have an intelligent conversation with about music. It sounds kind of snobbish, but Come on now. Dashboard Confessional? Impress me here. There's a lot of bands out there that I respect and are legendary, but that band is NOT one of them. Ha.
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    RipitLikePujolsRipitLikePujols Posts: 219
    5against1- wrote:
    She did wanna go to the D.C. show with me but I couldn't let my best friend who also loves the band down by giving her my extra ticket.

    Seriously? Girlfriend=Pussy. Best friend needs to buy his own ticket. What

    are you bitching about then? You're complaining that she doesn't understand,

    and then you don't take her???

    C'mon man, you're better than that!!!
    "WE'RE UH, WE'RE GONNA DO THIS ONE WHICH IS UH, CERTAINLY NOT A USUAL ONE, AND THEN UH, JUST TAKE A FEW MORE MINUTES, THEN UH, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA DO OUR BEST TO KEEP TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS AWAKE FR..." (cheering at intro)...

    --->H2I

    (special moment)
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    Surf RiderSurf Rider Posts: 813
    If I was single the first thing I would ask a girl would be:

    Do you like Bon Jovi?
    Do you like Nickleback?
    Do you like Green Day?
    Do you like Kid Rock?
    Do you like Puffy Daddy Diddy P Flash Master (or whatever his name is this week)?
    Do you like Keane West?
    Do you like Lil Wayne?
    Do you like Daughtry?
    Do you like Good Charlotte?
    Do you like either Simpson sister?
    Do you like Good Charlotte?
    Do you like My Chemical Romance?
    Do you like Paris Hilton?
    Do you like Lifehouse?
    Do you like Creed?
    Do you like Good Charlotte?
    Do you like The Pussycat Dolls?
    Do you like Usher?
    Do you like Snoop Doggy Dog?
    Do you like Justin Timberlake?



    If she answered yes to any of these, I would round house kick her and leave.
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    PearlJen401PearlJen401 Posts: 233
    JaneNY wrote:
    Welcome to the world of having people around you that don't get Pearl Jam. The best you can do is have a kid, bring them to shows, and hopefully they will like them. It worked for me!


    Seriously, I NEVER meet PJ fans. I have been obsessed with them since '92 and lived in 4 different states. I met a few casual fans years ago but now, people either don't know the band (which i don't get) or people who are just not interested. I should have joined this board a long time ago to meet you wonderful fans. Luckily my husband loves the band, although he isn't obsessed like me. And my kids, i think get my obsession.

    Sorry for getting off the original topic.
    “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
    — Lao Tzu
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    Lukin66Lukin66 Posts: 3,063
    5against1- wrote:
    I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this. I often have trouble explaining to chicks I date the love I have for this band. They always look at me like wow thats nice, but don't seem to get it.
    haha, I am the girlfriend....
    deep, deep blue of the morning
    gets to me every time
  • Options
    itsevobabyitsevobaby Posts: 1,809
    PittGrrl04 wrote:
    OK, as a girlfriend of a fanatical fan who is NOW a pretty fanatical fan herself, here's what worked on me:

    1) Make her a CD of all the slow, "sit-down", "sing-along" songs. You know, Betterman, Long Road, the last track of every album, Black, Small Town, etc. You can include B-sides and other rarities, but nothing too crazy. No Satan's Bed or anything like that.

    2) Once she begins to like this CD and asks for more, give her some shows that are heavy on the songs from section 1, so that she can begin to appreciate the band live, but on the girly songs she likes. Like Benaroya Hall. Plus, it will start to expose her to the other faster songs that you love.

    3) After passing these two steps, she is ready to go to ONE show. But only one during the next tour. You should preferably go to a show that is close to where you live, and you should have great 10c tickets. Oh, and at this show, try to keep your poster obsession to a minimum... its annoying to get to the show super early and stand in line for a poster when you are just a casual fan at this point.

    4) By now, she should be on her way to being hooked, so start her listening to more shows with rarer songs and "songs boys like to go crazy over"... Leash, DTE, etc.

    5) The next tour will come, and she will be BEGGING to go to as many shows as possible.

    This is literally what my boyfriend did with me starting in 2003, and on this last tour we took a week's vacation and went to 6 shows (DC through Mansfield II). So for me, it was a 5 year process, but it was worth it. I love Pearl Jam, and I love him!
    the man's smooth :cool:
    Look Alive,
    See These Bones
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    Brain Of EBrain Of E Posts: 499
    I find it's best not to force it on to them. I know that it would be great if she liked them as much as you, but sometimes it just doesn't happen instantly. I bet you don't like "Sex in the City" just because she does, but maybe one day she's watching it and you sit next to her and start watching it, you may not be a huge fan the first time you watch it but maybe you find one thing funny about it. So you find one thing thats good about it on your own, with out it being forced on you and before you know it you're watching Sex in the City even when she's not there. The same could happen with her and PJ, there may be one song she likes, and on her own she starts looking for more PJ. And if she never likes PJ, then I hope thats not all your relationship is based on, otherwise dump her.
    Down in the hole, Jesus tries to crack a smile beneath another shovel load.
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    j3trowkillj3trowkill Posts: 103
    5against1- wrote:
    My girlfriend now listens and smiles but then just tells me about how she likes incubus, nickelback or some other dumb shit. t.

    She respects your love for the boys, I guess you should respect her taste as well...or else you're not getting any tonight lol! or date some guy who loves PJ. hahaha!
    "I had a false belief
    I thought I came here to stay
    We're all just visiting
    All just breaking like waves.."

    07/09/06
    07/10/06
    07/15/06
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    Surf RiderSurf Rider Posts: 813
    ......
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