Understanding Women: A Handbook for Men

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2010

If she is materialistic give her the flick.
That is all I have to say.

Whizbang · January 2010

scb wrote:

Hahaha.... I just turned on my computer and this article was the first thing that popped up on the (pre-set) MSN home page:

27 Things Men Don't Know About Women
Female celebrities offer relationship secrets and dating advice for the opposite gender. Now maybe they'll learn something.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowes.aspx?cp-documentid=22506015&GT1=32023

Ok...I had read through this article and have to say the majority of it is bullshit. Typical Cosmo advise for women.

"When you break up with us, that means it's over, and we will only sleep with you two or three more times." Are you kidding me? That she'll sleep with you again means she's keeping you on the back burner until something better comes along. Ditch her.

"We can tell how good you'll be in bed by how good you are on the dance floor." Total BS. I've met men who can dance and were complete idiots in bed.

"We want dessert. We want you to order dessert. What we don't want is for you to ask us if we want dessert." Seriously? If I want dessert, I'm ordering. I don't need your approval to do so.

"When we ask which outfit we should wear, humor us with an answer — just pick one already! — but expect us to go with the one you didn't choose." Again....maybe it's me and my independence. I argue enough with myself on what to wear, I don't need another opinion in here.

"Call us back right away. That 'three day' crap does not apply. We're getting older and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest. Trust me on this one." I'm throwing this back on women. If you're interested in the guy, grow a pair and call him. Don't sit around and wait for him to debate the three day "rule".

"PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse." Any woman who uses this as an excuse to be a douche needs to have her ovaries removed. Sorry ladies, learn to deal with it yourself.

"We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message." Ball and chain much? If I call you and you're not around, I leave a message. You have a life outside of our relationship. Women need to realize that.

A couple of winners:
"When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us. Always." Goes to a few threads on here recently. If you're interested, ask.

"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models." Amen.

"We hate baby showers as much as you assume a sane person would." Seriously, stick a pen in my eye. Probably worse than bamboo chutes under my toenails.

"Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you." Ding, ding, ding!!! we have a winner!! Of all of them, this one is dead on right.

Black Diamond · January 2010

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If she is materialistic give her the flick.
That is all I have to say.

But what if you're materialistic too?

At the end of the day, life is about accumulating stuff (and that includes people)... Why shouldn't you accumulate things you like?

Heatherj43 · January 2010

Men: If you meet a girl, don't wait a day to call her. You won't seem over anxious and instead she will be flattered, that is if she likes you also. otherwise your'e just a creep. I hate when a guy waits to call. I move on and figure that he just wasn't that much into me and by waiting to call, it seems like a booty call and not that he really likes me.

Oh, and don't be surprised if she moves on pretty quick after you two break up. Most women I know have some guy on the back burner. I always did. I don't now, but could make it happen pretty darn fast.

Heatherj43 · January 2010

Whizbang wrote:

scb wrote:

Hahaha.... I just turned on my computer and this article was the first thing that popped up on the (pre-set) MSN home page:

27 Things Men Don't Know About Women
Female celebrities offer relationship secrets and dating advice for the opposite gender. Now maybe they'll learn something.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowes.aspx?cp-documentid=22506015&GT1=32023

Ok...I had read through this article and have to say the majority of it is bullshit. Typical Cosmo advise for women.

"When you break up with us, that means it's over, and we will only sleep with you two or three more times." Are you kidding me? That she'll sleep with you again means she's keeping you on the back burner until something better comes along. Ditch her.

"We can tell how good you'll be in bed by how good you are on the dance floor." Total BS. I've met men who can dance and were complete idiots in bed.

"We want dessert. We want you to order dessert. What we don't want is for you to ask us if we want dessert." Seriously? If I want dessert, I'm ordering. I don't need your approval to do so.

"When we ask which outfit we should wear, humor us with an answer — just pick one already! — but expect us to go with the one you didn't choose." Again....maybe it's me and my independence. I argue enough with myself on what to wear, I don't need another opinion in here.

"Call us back right away. That 'three day' crap does not apply. We're getting older and we don't have time to screw around. Wait too long and we'll lose interest. Trust me on this one." I'm throwing this back on women. If you're interested in the guy, grow a pair and call him. Don't sit around and wait for him to debate the three day "rule".

"PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse." Any woman who uses this as an excuse to be a douche needs to have her ovaries removed. Sorry ladies, learn to deal with it yourself.

"We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you'd like to discuss it further, just leave a message." Ball and chain much? If I call you and you're not around, I leave a message. You have a life outside of our relationship. Women need to realize that.

A couple of winners:
"When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you're afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it's always flattering when you hit on us. Always." Goes to a few threads on here recently. If you're interested, ask.

"We're afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we're not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models." Amen.

"We hate baby showers as much as you assume a sane person would." Seriously, stick a pen in my eye. Probably worse than bamboo chutes under my toenails.

"Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you." Ding, ding, ding!!! we have a winner!! Of all of them, this one is dead on right.

I have to agree with the commitment part. That's the last thing I have ever looked for, but I do insist on monogamy. I don't want to catch the diseases you may have caught!! I want you to tell me if you are doing anyone else. From my experience, most of you guys lie about this!

_ · January 2010

Whizbang wrote:

scb wrote:

Hahaha.... I just turned on my computer and this article was the first thing that popped up on the (pre-set) MSN home page:

27 Things Men Don't Know About Women
Female celebrities offer relationship secrets and dating advice for the opposite gender. Now maybe they'll learn something.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowes.aspx?cp-documentid=22506015&GT1=32023

Ok...I had read through this article and have to say the majority of it is bullshit. Typical Cosmo advise for women.

Hey, I didn't say it was good advice. I just though it was noteworthy that MSN also thinks guys (no, not ALL guys) want advice on how to interact with women.

_ · January 2010

Heatherj43 wrote:

I hate when a guy waits to call. I move on and figure that he just wasn't that much into me and by waiting to call, it seems like a booty call and not that he really likes me.

I tend to agree. I don't expect a guy to just drop everything and call me, but I also don't like it when guys play games.

comebackgirl · January 2010

Only one rule:
Don't piss me off! :twisted:
The best way to do that is to be responsible for yourself. If I wanted a child I would have had one by now

Thoughts_Arrive · January 2010

Black Diamond wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If she is materialistic give her the flick.
That is all I have to say.

But what if you're materialistic too?

At the end of the day, life is about accumulating stuff (and that includes people)... Why shouldn't you accumulate things you like?

I didn't mean it that way, I meant it this way.

"I only like men with big pecs, abs, biceps''
''I only go for men with a nice car''

Black Diamond · January 2010

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

Black Diamond wrote:

Thoughts_Arrive wrote:

If she is materialistic give her the flick.
That is all I have to say.

But what if you're materialistic too?

At the end of the day, life is about accumulating stuff (and that includes people)... Why shouldn't you accumulate things you like?

I didn't mean it that way, I meant it this way.

"I only like men with big pecs, abs, biceps''
''I only go for men with a nice car''

Ahhh.. I'll agree with that...

purple_chick79 · January 2010

Whizbang wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

I'm a chick and even I don't fucking understand women....all my best mates are male.

If you drink beer, smoke weed and like good music, you'll get along with me just fine!

If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.

this is why I like this woman...

I second that!

i_lov_it · January 2010

scb wrote:

Hey, I didn't say it was good advice. I just though it was noteworthy that MSN also thinks guys (no, not ALL guys) want advice on how to interact with women.

I DON'T need a Women to "Interact" with...I DID that Perfectly on My 'OWN' Earlier...lol

purple_chick79 · January 2010

Thank god I'm not single....is this what goes on these days?

Sian-of-the-dead · January 2010

Claireack wrote:

I think this is thread is a good idea. Although I'd also like to see Understanding Men: A Handbook for Women, at 42 I still haven't got a clue what goes on in mens head a lot of the time.

Ones for the list;

If your girlfriend/wife/partner is covered in snot, barking like a dog and hasn't slept properly for a week don't assume that she is up for a night of passion and that giving you a BJ is going to cure all her ills.

Your girlfriend/wife/partner really doesn't need to be told they have put a little weight on over the holiday season. They know.

The more I read you posts, the more I like you Claireack

inlet13 · January 2010

No offense intended to the OP, but this thread seems a tad bit filled with man-hate. Entertaining, nonetheless. :think:

I think the answer for man/woman is simple... let your woman/man be themselves. If you don't like them being themselves, then move on. If you do, awesome. Just don't go trying to change people, cause they ain't changin unless they, themselves, want to.

Sian-of-the-dead · January 2010

inlet13 wrote:

I think the answer for man/woman is simple... let your woman/man be themselves. If you don't like them being themselves, then move on. If you do, awesome. Just don't go trying to change people, cause they ain't changin unless they, themselves, want to.

Absolutely seconded. :thumbup:

juan lester · January 2010

there are but two things that every woman wants. . .

. . . and nobody knows what they are.

Claireack · January 2010

juan lester wrote:

there are but two things that every woman wants. . .

. . . and nobody knows what they are.

Possibly not even the woman :?

juan lester · January 2010

that's the joke. good job.

GTFLYGIRL · January 2010

Whizbang wrote:

"Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you."

Ding, ding, ding!!! we have a winner!! Of all of them, this one is dead on right.

wow. couldn't disagree more!

i grew up in a house with four females and one male. my dad... always used my parents bathroom.

i HATE when men leave the seat up. i have never bitched, whined, complained and tried to "control" any man i was with if (and of course WHEN) they left the seat up. But... i do think it is more or less gross and rude. If almost 1/2 of their "goings on" and 100 % of our "goings on" require the seat DOWN.. then why is it i have to put my clean hands on the toilet seat because they chose to put it up to take a leak?

They already have to wash their hands just after taking their leak... so they touch the toilet... take a leak... touch toilet...wash hands! ...no biggie! When we sit down to use the toilet.... we then have to take care of our business with our hands already soiled should we need to move the seat prior to its use.

DING DING DING... Disagree that it's a way to control and just think it's etiquette, hygiene and sense.

AND FYI! I keep a very clean bathroom! So please don't anyone even try any bullshit that i dont want to touch the toilet because MY bath isn't clean... and what about the random people that leave your toilet up? Just rude and inconsiderate... IMO.

And btw! Really.... we should all put the lid down too! Before flushing! That's what it was made for!

Understanding Women: A Handbook for Men

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