Understanding Women: A Handbook for Men

_
_ Posts: 6,657
edited January 2010 in All Encompassing Trip
Okay, it seems like everyone's always on here (and in real life) complaining that they don't understand the opposite sex. And then they start a thread about it and get the same old cliche advice from the SAME sex.

So I thought it would be good to have a thread where women lay down the basic ground rules for men to know how to interact with them. (I'd love to see one for the women too!)

I'll start. Women, please add your own:

1. Do not, under any circumstances, send a woman you've never met a picture of your cock. If you do, don't expect to ever be taken seriously.

2. If there's any chance that you might ever be interested in a woman, get to know her (and let her get to know you) while you have the chance. Don't lay a shit foundation and then expect everything to turn around when you change your mind and decide you're interested. If you have no interest in getting to know her, don't waste either of your time by introducing yourself & talking to her.

3. Text message one-liners, no matter how clever, do not substitute for real conversation.

4. Sincerity is the best policy. (Respectful sincerity, that is.)

5. Nice guys do not always finish last.

6. Women do not owe you anything, least of all our interest or our time. Don't take rejection personally. It's not a criticism of your character. There just aren't enough hours in the day to accept every single invitation, no matter how nice the guys are who are asking.

7. Please do not judge how we chose to spend our time. And don't take it personally when we choose to do something else over spending time with you. Again, we can't spend ALL of our time with you, even if we are dating.

8. Conflict is not always bad. It is unpleasant, but it can be a wonderful opportunity for growth. If we didn't want to take that opportunity with you, we probably wouldn't brave the conflict in the first place. (We'd either just leave you or stay and pretend nothing's wrong.)

DISCLAIMER: These are all generalizations, of course, and do not apply to every single woman, relationship, or situation. Also, I'm aware that some of them should be in the handbook for women as well. This is not a criticism of men, only a helpful guide. :D
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    I'm a chick and even I don't fucking understand women....all my best mates are male.

    If you drink beer, smoke weed and like good music, you'll get along with me just fine! 8-)

    If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • Gary Carter
    Gary Carter Posts: 14,077
    you sound like one of those women's lib people left over from the 70's

    kidding



    ZiggyStar wrote:


    If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.
    true dat

    hi ziggy
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • ZiggyStar
    ZiggyStar Posts: 14,328
    metsfan wrote:
    ZiggyStar wrote:


    If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.
    true dat

    hi ziggy

    Hey mets!
    ★ 1995 - Brisbane ★ 1998 - Brisbane ★ 2003 - Brisbane ★ 2006 - Brisbane ★
    ★ 2009 - Sydney, Brisbane, Auckland, Christchurch ★
    ★ 2011 - EV Newcastle, Melbourne 1, Melbourne 2 ★
  • Gary Carter
    Gary Carter Posts: 14,077
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    metsfan wrote:
    ZiggyStar wrote:


    If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.
    true dat

    hi ziggy

    Hey mets!
    how you doing good looking

    hehe
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    metsfan wrote:
    you sound like one of those women's lib people left over from the 70's

    kidding

    Ya got me. But, hey, I'm just trying to be helpful. I mean, seriously, if you don't know to not send cock shots to women you've never met, SOMEBODY needs to tell you!
  • Claireack
    Claireack Posts: 13,561
    I think this is thread is a good idea. Although I'd also like to see Understanding Men: A Handbook for Women, at 42 I still haven't got a clue what goes on in mens head a lot of the time.

    Ones for the list;

    If your girlfriend/wife/partner is covered in snot, barking like a dog and hasn't slept properly for a week don't assume that she is up for a night of passion and that giving you a BJ is going to cure all her ills.

    Your girlfriend/wife/partner really doesn't need to be told they have put a little weight on over the holiday season. They know.

    :D
    <a href="http://s952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/?action=view&current=domo.jpg&quot; target="_blank"><img src="http://i952.photobucket.com/albums/ae8/catkinson_2009/domo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
  • OffHeGoes29
    OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    I've given up trying to figure out women....I just focus on being bad ass as usual and let them come to me....if don't see how f'n cool I am, their loss. 8-)
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • Leathe?ma?
    Leathe?ma? Яussia Posts: 354
    ZiggyStar wrote:

    If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.

    golden words
  • dimitrispearljam
    dimitrispearljam Posts: 139,725
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.
    and thats the biggest true..
    "...Dimitri...He talks to me...'.."The Ghost of Greece..".
    "..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
    “..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
  • Franny
    Franny Posts: 2,054
    bahahahahaha

    Maybe it should be titled......Understanding HIGH MAINTENANCE WOMEN!!!!

    Geepers, everything seems to have miles of paperwork and legislation accompanying it these days, can't somethings be left for dicovery and enjoyment and surprise?
  • Stone Is God
    Stone Is God Posts: 1,331
    Where is the rule about women buying shit they don't need? Like buying more clothes after donating 5 trash bags full of shit to the Salvation Army.

    That's about the only thing that I don't understand about my wife.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
  • Franny
    Franny Posts: 2,054
    hahahaha everyone has thier guilty pleasures...at least you haven't had to build a seperate room for her wardrobe because she WON'T get rid of anything!!! :D
  • Whizbang
    Whizbang Posts: 1,314
    ZiggyStar wrote:
    I'm a chick and even I don't fucking understand women....all my best mates are male.

    If you drink beer, smoke weed and like good music, you'll get along with me just fine! 8-)

    If you need a list of fucking rules about a chick, she's not worth it.

    this is why I like this woman... :D
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    I understand women. ...and that's way worse than not understanding them. :lol:
    ADD 5,200 to the post count you see, thank you. :)
    *NYC 9/28/96 *NYC 9/29/96 *NJ 9/8/98 (front row "may i play drums with you")
    *MSG 9/10/98 (backstage) *MSG 9/11/98 (backstage)
    *Jones Beach 8/23/00 *Jones Beach 8/24/00 *Jones Beach 8/25/00
    *Mansfield 8/29/00 *Mansfield 8/30/00 *Nassau 4/30/03 *Nissan VA 7/1/03
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    *Bristow VA 5/13/10 *MSG 5/20/10 *MSG 5/21/10
  • SPEEDY MCCREADY
    SPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 26,942
    A handbook for men???? Bullshit!!!!! hehehehehe

    Life and relationships are not that fucking difficult.....

    Just be yourself....
    Act naturally.....
    Dont tell anyone how they should behave...
    Dont make lists.....On how anyone should be treated....
    Dont make lists of what is right and what is wrong.....

    It is not that difficult.........
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    scb wrote:
    1. Do not, under any circumstances, send a woman you've never met a picture of your cock. If you do, don't expect to ever be taken seriously.

    you understand that the guys that do this have many more problems than understanding women...they're not good around anyone ;)
    scb wrote:
    3. Text message one-liners, no matter how clever, do not substitute for real conversation.

    texting anything other than information is stupid
    scb wrote:
    4. Sincerity is the best policy. (Respectful sincerity, that is.)

    is there any other form of sincerity? :?
    scb wrote:
    5. Nice guys do not always finish last.

    in your teens and 20's they do...it takes a guy a while to understand the balance between being a 'bad boy' and a 'nice guy'...we're always working on that one
    scb wrote:
    6. Women do not owe you anything, least of all our interest or our time. Don't take rejection personally. It's not a criticism of your character. There just aren't enough hours in the day to accept every single invitation, no matter how nice the guys are who are asking.

    easier said than done
    scb wrote:
    7. Please do not judge how we chose to spend our time. And don't take it personally when we choose to do something else over spending time with you. Again, we can't spend ALL of our time with you, even if we are dating.

    do women know this? i haven't seen a lot of evidence of it ;)
    scb wrote:
    8. Conflict is not always bad. It is unpleasant, but it can be a wonderful opportunity for growth. If we didn't want to take that opportunity with you, we probably wouldn't brave the conflict in the first place. (We'd either just leave you or stay and pretend nothing's wrong.)

    see response to #7 ;):D
    scb wrote:
    DISCLAIMER: These are all generalizations, of course, and do not apply to every single woman, relationship, or situation. Also, I'm aware that some of them should be in the handbook for women as well. This is not a criticism of men, only a helpful guide. :D

    then really the thread should be understanding people...because in the end, it's not so much the sexes that need to understand each other, but the individual :D
  • LikeAnOcean
    LikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    edited January 2010
    Rule for guys: If she has a list of rules, she is not worth it. ;)
    Post edited by LikeAnOcean on
  • LikeAnOcean
    LikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:
    A handbook for men???? Bullshit!!!!! hehehehehe

    Life and relationships are not that fucking difficult.....

    Just be yourself....
    Act naturally.....
    Dont tell anyone how they should behave...
    Dont make lists.....On how anyone should be treated....
    Dont make lists of what is right and what is wrong.....

    It is not that difficult.........
    Speedy, thats the smartest thing I've ever heard you say. 8-)
  • Brisk.
    Brisk. Posts: 11,581
    yeah because this isn't generalisation!
  • Benzor
    Benzor Posts: 886
    no offense but that was pretty fucking useless

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