please give me tips on how not to get attached

13

Comments

  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    He was way out there, and he really toe'd the line when it came to getting banned.

    maybe he was i don't know, but i've always found his posts to be relatively polite and appropriate...for me. i know mods have different opinions on what's right and wrong.
  • THC
    THC Posts: 525
    genie wrote:
    i've already told him everything and he told me that i will start worrying about something going wrong then they will go wrong because push things to turn out that way. and i do see sense in what he is saying....

    give it a try...if it doesnt work out...it doesnt work out.
    by detaching yourself...it wont work out...so whats the point?

    over the last couple years...ive really changed my way of looking at things. people (myself included until recently i hope) get so depressed when they're notion of what should happen..doesnt...
    just take it one day at a time. enjoy the blessing you have today...and let life lead you where it may. to quote fightclub....stop trying to control everything...and just LET GO... :)
    “Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small. With more space, the fish can grow double, triple, or quadruple its size.”
    -Big Fish
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    THC wrote:
    give it a try...if it doesnt work out...it doesnt work out.
    by detaching yourself...it wont work out...so whats the point?

    over the last couple years...ive really changed my way of looking at things. people (myself included until recently i hope) get so depressed when they're notion of what should happen..doesnt...
    just take it one day at a time. enjoy the blessing you have today...and let life lead you where it may. to quote fightclub....stop trying to control everything...and just LET GO... :)

    thanks :)
  • THC
    THC Posts: 525
    genie wrote:
    thanks :)

    you're welcome...best of luck :)
    “Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small. With more space, the fish can grow double, triple, or quadruple its size.”
    -Big Fish
  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    genie wrote:
    thanks :)

    what? you didn't like my advice:p
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    libragirl wrote:
    what? you didn't like my advice:p

    :D nah. i like the guy, he is cute and sweet and has a good heart :) ....even though there isn't a lot left from his heart :D
  • PJPixie
    PJPixie Posts: 3,026
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Sorry but this sounds ridiculous.. 'Hold off' your feelings until you trust him?

    You're clearly not ready to be in a mature relationship. I've been strung along by a few girls like you who dumped me when it became difficult. And btw, LOL @ the Soulsinging comment. Touche.


    soulsinging?? Where/who is soulsinging now?
    The best use of Life is Love.
    The best expression of Love is Time.
    The best time to Love is Now.


    I'm never as good as when you're there.........
  • 3inputchick
    3inputchick Posts: 845
    Sleep with him right away...
    A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.
  • gabers
    gabers Posts: 2,787
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Yep, but that's who he'll be in a few years time, for all men become their fathers. You may as well know what lies ahead. ;)

    Okay, so I'll be a chain smoker that watches sports about 50 hours a week? I can't decide if I'm exhilerated or decimated. :confused:

    Love ya dad!
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    genie wrote:
    erm i might be guilty of thinking that i can save him...or make him feel better. :o you're right.

    but then what is love? if he cares for me....well i guess that could be enough for me.
    I thought the same Genie... but it wasn't love for him and there's nothing I could do about that... and it took me a couple of months to get over it... but I'm now with someone MUCH better who treats me how I deserve to be treated... there's no comparison. I'm sorry you're going through a shite time right now, really I am :( but this is not going to make it better.

    Ok, I'm sure there are SOME instances where he might grow to love you... but I think the majority of these cases end with the person in your situation being hurt. How about telling him you just need his friendship right now cos you can't cope with anything more and who knows what will happen in time?
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • sponger
    sponger Posts: 3,159
    Textbook psych 101 states that the more you suppress an emotion, the more intense it will be when it finally resurfaces.

    If you really want to minimize the bite of a failed relationship, allow yourself to feel it every bit of the way through so that it leaves your system quicker.

    Not only that, but you'll be able to think more clearly and make better decisions because you won't be confusing yourself with denial.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • Sian-of-the-dead
    Sian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    sponger wrote:
    Textbook psych 101 states that the more you suppress an emotion, the more intense it will be when it finally resurfaces.

    If you really want to minimize the bite of a failed relationship, allow yourself to feel it every bit of the way through so that it leaves your system quicker.

    Not only that, but you'll be able to think more clearly and make better decisions because you won't be confusing yourself with denial.

    I agree 100%. These things should be faced head on and not brushed under the rug.
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    I thought the same Genie... but it wasn't love for him and there's nothing I could do about that... and it took me a couple of months to get over it... but I'm now with someone MUCH better who treats me how I deserve to be treated... there's no comparison. I'm sorry you're going through a shite time right now, really I am :( but this is not going to make it better.

    Ok, I'm sure there are SOME instances where he might grow to love you... but I think the majority of these cases end with the person in your situation being hurt. How about telling him you just need his friendship right now cos you can't cope with anything more and who knows what will happen in time?

    hehe, you know me Helen, every now and again i come up with such depressing threads as these. and i always see you respond to these threads giving an advice and making people feel better, which i have to thank you for.

    eh, i know what you're telling me is probably what i should do ..eh, life has a funny way of fucking someone.

    it's kind of difficult situation to explain here, can i pm you and confide in you?
  • Flannel Shirt
    Flannel Shirt Posts: 1,021
    you both have issues.
    All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    im notorious for falling too quickly... but i think the only way not to is to not care... and should anything go wrong in a relationship id rather know i was in it 100% so i cant blame myself afterward... i know its not the answer you want, but if you really like this guy then continue to be yourself and dont play any stupid games to keep him at a distance... i know i hate it when women do that with me
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    genie wrote:
    hehe, you know me Helen, every now and again i come up with such depressing threads as these. and i always see you respond to these threads giving an advice and making people feel better, which i have to thank you for.

    eh, i know what you're telling me is probably what i should do ..eh, life has a funny way of fucking someone.

    it's kind of difficult situation to explain here, can i pm you and confide in you?
    Of course you can... no need to ask :)

    But it's no problem. I know when you're probably still gonna do whatever it is you're gonna do (as most of us do :D ) but yeh, pm me and I'll see if I can make any sense of it ;)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    3inputchick wrote:
    Sleep with him right away...
    I agree with this statement.
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • libragirl
    libragirl Posts: 4,632
    genie wrote:
    :D nah. i like the guy, he is cute and sweet and has a good heart :) ....even though there isn't a lot left from his heart :D

    lol..well that is cool that he is a nice guy. Don't listen to me I am jaded. :)
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    sponger wrote:
    Textbook psych 101 states that the more you suppress an emotion, the more intense it will be when it finally resurfaces.

    If you really want to minimize the bite of a failed relationship, allow yourself to feel it every bit of the way through so that it leaves your system quicker.

    Not only that, but you'll be able to think more clearly and make better decisions because you won't be confusing yourself with denial.



    :)


    besides, 'feeling attached' is probably the BEST part of a relationship. well that and great sex of course. :D personally, i'd not want to miss out on ANY of the good stuff of a relationship...b/c whether it lasts forever or a month....i want to ENJOY it fully!
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • Abookamongstthemany
    Abookamongstthemany Posts: 8,209
    polaris wrote:
    How not to get attached: Date me ... :p

    seriously tho - you can make up shit in your head about the guy about how he'll cheat on you or break promises or that he's really not who he seems OR you can do what abook says and live life - love doesn't happen without risk ...


    Crrrrrazy! We've met and I know better than that!
    If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

    Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
    -Oscar Wilde

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