How do you ask someone about HIV?

Posts: 271
edited August 2007 in A Moving Train
I am thinking of starting a new sexual relationship, and I know this person is experienced to say the least. He is a very dear friend to me, has been for 17 years. How do I ask him if he has been tested, and not offend him?
"F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed
Post edited by Unknown User on

Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.
Sign In
Register
«134

Comments

  • Posts: 2,500
    tell him you want to get tested because you may have it.
  • Posts: 271
    no way! That sounds terrible. You have to be kidding! I have been tested, and I am fine. But how do you ask without offeneding someone?
    "F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed
  • Posts: 5,656
    Honestly I would just come out and ask. Tell him that you are not trying to offend him but you just want to be sure. If he really cares about you he will not mind being asked.

    The woman I'm dating asked me. We are both fixed so pregnancy is not a concern but she asked me before we became intimate if I hyad been tested. I didn't mind being asked.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • Posts: 271
    mammasan wrote:
    Honestly I would just come out and ask. Tell him that you are not trying to offend him but you just want to be sure. If he really cares about you he will not mind being asked.


    would it offend you if someone asked you that question?
    "F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed
  • Posts: 5,656
    humanlight wrote:
    would it offend you if someone asked you that question?

    No not at all. As I stated above the woman I'm dating asked me and I was not offended at all.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • Posts: 1,052
    I would straight out ask to. It's an important thing to know.

    I wouldn't be offended if i was asked. I would be glad that the person cared enough about themselves to ask.
    Keep on rockin in the free world!!!!

    The economy has polarized to the point where the wealthiest 10% now own 85% of the nation’s wealth. Never before have the bottom 90% been so highly indebted, so dependent on the wealthy.
  • Posts: 1,146
    The easiest (and best in my opinion) way to do this is ask him to go with you so you both do a test at the same time and share both of your results. As a way to seal a relationship.
    This will definitely ease up the sexual life of the couple, and doing it both at the same time lifts the "I don't trust you" notion.
  • Posts: 5,656
    spiral out wrote:
    I would straight out ask to. It's an important thing to know.

    I wouldn't be offended if i was asked. I would be glad that the person cared enough about themselves to ask.


    Exactly.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • Posts: 271
    So then if they say, "no I havent." Then I say show me your papers before we get it on. I don't know, the whole process is scarry to me.
    "F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed
  • Posts: 5,656
    humanlight wrote:
    So then if they say, "no I havent." Then I say show me your papers before we get it on. I don't know, the whole process is scarry to me.

    Well if the person hasn't been tested ask them if they would go with you to get tested, as Kann suggested. If your partner really cares about you this will not be a problem. If my girlfriend where to ask me to go with her to get tested I would do it.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • Posts: 2,374
    humanlight wrote:
    I am thinking of starting a new sexual relationship, and I know this person is experienced to say the least. He is a very dear friend to me, has been for 17 years. How do I ask him if he has been tested, and not offend him?


    You're a therapist and you don't know how to approach this subject matter?


    Uh boy:rolleyes:


    :D
  • Posts: 472
    If you cannot be frank about such a serious issue, why do you want to enter a relationship with this person?
    Makes much more sense, to live in the present tense.

    A truly liberal person is conservative when necessary.

    Pro-life by choice.
  • Posts: 2,500
    i heard hiv was a hoax
  • Posts: 2,500
    seriously though..turnt he subject into a joke with him so you are both laughing than ask him to go with you so you both can.
  • Posts: 271
    NMyTree wrote:
    You're a therapist and you don't know how to approach this subject matter?


    Uh boy:rolleyes:


    :D


    Hey, it is much easier to tell people what to do, than do it yourself. I know this :).
    "F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed
  • Posts: 271
    Juberoo wrote:
    If you cannot be frank about such a serious issue, why do you want to enter a relationship with this person?


    No, I know that I can....I just don't know the best way to do it. So, that it does not sound like I am calling him a man hoe! Cause he kind of is.
    "F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed
  • Posts: 5,656
    humanlight wrote:
    No, I know that I can....I just don't know the best way to do it. So, that it does not sound like I am calling him a man hoe! Cause he kind of is.

    Well he shouldn't take it that way. Like I said if he really cares about you it will not bother him.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • Posts: 271
    mammasan wrote:
    Well he shouldn't take it that way. Like I said if he really cares about you it will not bother him.

    Thank you for your wisedom. I hope it goes okay. If it don't, then I guess I get an answer either way.
    "F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed
  • Posts: 7,762
    I would try something along these lines...

    "I cannot believe the (fill in appropriate sports team) (won/lost) again last night. That game was (awesome/awful). Have you ever been tested for HIV? I mean come on that play in the (choose a number) (quarter/half/period) was (total bullshit/on the money). Seriously though, get tested. Playoffs here we come"
    E8toX.gif

    http://www.reverbnation.com/brianzilm
  • Posts: 271
    ledvedderman wrote:
    I would try something along these lines...

    "I cannot believe the (fill in appropriate sports team) (won/lost) again last night. That game was (awesome/awful). Have you ever been tested for HIV? I mean come on that play in the (choose a number) (quarter/half/period) was (total bullshit/on the money). Seriously though, get tested. Playoffs here we come"


    That sounds like I have torettes! But it would be funny!
    "F**K you, I have laundry to do" -ed

Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.
Sign In
Register

Quick Links

Categories