Prostitution

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Comments

  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    VictoryGin wrote:
    i never said men love to objectify women. i'm talking about its existence. i never said men are horny bastards. in fact, i mentioned women's horniness in response to one of unifiedscene's retarded posts. if you would pull your head out of your ass maybe you'd see that, or see that i could actually agree with some of what you say, and disagree with other stuff. but you never will. and that's why i'm done. bye now.

    You're right you never said that, I said that.

    If you want to talk about the objectification of women, fine. Make a threat about it. It freaking exists, I know it and you know it but unless you can show me how that is the root of prostitution, this is off-topic and pointless.

    Maybe if you pulled your ass out of your ass you'd see you made a mistake a few pages ago. Simple as that. But you never will.

    edit: Well, I don't know if anyone will ever pull his ass out of his ass :D
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


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  • Byrnzie
    Byrnzie Posts: 21,037
    I think a lot of this comes down to the fact that England is a country obsessed with sex, but that also happens to be one of the most sexually repressed, prudish, and backward countries when it comes to sex. It's also a country obsessed with being a nanny state and trying to control every aspect of everyone's lives. Everyone is obsessed with what goes on behind every door. Everyone needs to be labeled, categorized, and controlled. It's a bad combination.
    The trouble with the English is that they can't mind their own fucking business - if you'll pardon the expression ;) Obsessing about the private lives of others has become a kind of rampant sickness perpetuated by a culture of tabloid sensationalism, and sanctimonious voyeurism.
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,175
    If we're just talking about two approving and willing adults, entering into an agreement, it should absolutely be legal.
  • angelica
    angelica Posts: 6,038
    VG, I would like to add that I very much do hear what you are saying, and I agree with the validity of the degree women experience degrees of powerlessness in our society. I've personally experienced some degrees of that powerlessness, and to the point that I, at one time, seriously considered becoming an escort. And checked into it by calling agencies and even a lawyer. I've also mentioned in the past my childhood friend who currently runs an escort agency and another teenage friend who became a drug-addicted prostitute who was murdered by Canada's serial killer of prostitutes. There is a dark, dark underbelly here, where women come off as being very seriously victimized. I also fully understand your usage of adding quotes to the word "choice"...

    Peace.
    "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr

    http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta

    Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
  • Commy
    Commy Posts: 4,984
    sometimes people are put into situations where they have no choice.


    I remember walking home in Seattle one night, it was cold, like 40 degrees, at 2 am something like that. And this girl was standing there shivering, asking me if I needed anything. She had no place to go, had nothing...and I said no and walked away and have regretted it ever since. she needed a place to stay, needed to get warm and I walked away. At the time I was thinking, holy shit a prostitute just asked me if I wanted to pay for sex, 2 blocks from my house. now that I look back I realize she had no choice, now I feel bad for her. and regret not just giving her fucking blanket for the night. what kind of world is this...
  • kenny olav
    kenny olav Posts: 3,319
    I don't think brothels, sex rings and such should be legalized, because it's exploitative. Someone said women choose to become prostitutes, but that's only because their other choices are even worse.

    Even San Francisco overwhelmingly voted down legalizing prostitution. Sorry to sound moralistic, but let's have some common decency.
  • Byrnzie
    Byrnzie Posts: 21,037
    Kenny Olav wrote:
    I don't think brothels, sex rings and such should be legalized, because it's exploitative. Someone said women choose to become prostitutes, but that's only because their other choices are even worse.

    Even San Francisco overwhelmingly voted down legalizing prostitution. Sorry to sound moralistic, but let's have some common decency.

    But then some people would rather have sex with strangers for money than work a 10 hour day in a factory for a fraction of the money. It's their choice.
  • kenny olav
    kenny olav Posts: 3,319
    Byrnzie wrote:
    But then some people would rather have sex with strangers for money than work a 10 hour day in a factory for a fraction of the money. It's their choice.

    And I wouldn't blame them. I've worked in factories. I'd probably do the same thing. But let's get rid of all slavery. Let's get rid of the factories. Let's stop mass producing so much fucking junk. We should all be working much less, and enjoying ourselves a lot more.
  • Byrnzie
    Byrnzie Posts: 21,037
    Kenny Olav wrote:
    And I wouldn't blame them. I've worked in factories. I'd probably do the same thing. But let's get rid of all slavery. Let's get rid of the factories. Let's stop mass producing so much fucking junk. We should all be working much less, and enjoying ourselves a lot more.

    True.
  • angelica
    angelica Posts: 6,038
    Kenny Olav wrote:
    Let's stop mass producing so much fucking junk. We should all be working much less, and enjoying ourselves a lot more.
    I agree wholeheartedly!
    "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr

    http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta

    Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
  • Drowned Out
    Drowned Out Posts: 6,056
    Kenny Olav wrote:
    I don't think brothels, sex rings and such should be legalized, because it's exploitative. Someone said women choose to become prostitutes, but that's only because their other choices are even worse.

    Even San Francisco overwhelmingly voted down legalizing prostitution. Sorry to sound moralistic, but let's have some common decency.
    common decency = moralistic

    I haven't done much research on the topic, but expanding on whichever model places emphasis on women's safety is the only choice...common decency and morals are subjective, so unless you can have everyone conform to your standards, the problem will not go away.

    from what I can tell, based on the history of Pickton in Vancouver, and the killer still stalking my city (Edmonton), the women in brothels/massage parlours are the safest, escorts next... the street girls are totally vulnerable.
    The problem here is that the street girls, the ones in the most danger, would never get a job in a parlour or for an agency, because normally they are the ones with dependency issues, psychological problems etc...

    Still, this doesn't change the fact that it is not going away, and like drug prohibition, I have to go with harm reduction over sweeping it under the rug or arresting people for a personal decision.
  • _
    _ Posts: 6,657
    Wow - I never thought when I started a quick thread and got back to work that it would have so many replies next time I got back to it... or that it would have taken such a turn.

    It seems like much of the thread has been dedicated to the themes of choice and patriarchy, so here are my initial thoughts on those subjects:

    For one thing, many, many people who sell sex are forced into it against their will and/or are children. Of course there are also many prostitutes who are consenting adults and made the choice to do this. But "choice" is relative. And when one has limited viable options, we must reconsider how much weight we want to give to the idea that something was their choice.

    For instance, there are women in the world who, when they have babies who will starve without government milk handouts, are told that they can't receive any free food for their babies unless they get their tubes tied. Of course they get their tubes tied, lest their babies starve, and this was their "choice".

    There are women whose family members need extremely expensive, life-sustaining medical care, which they can only pay for by prostituting themselves. Do they "choose" to do it? Many do. What other viable options did they have? But should we just chalk it up to "she made her choice" and move on?

    Just because people "choose" prostitution doesn't mean it's not a problem.

    Regarding patriarchy, exploitation, and objectification of women... one thing I've noticed about this board is that whenever such subjects come up many of the men - particularly the ones who seem to pride themselves on being "enlightened" - become quite defensive. It's as if when someone observes that these things still exist, what the men hear is, "You, sir, are a misogynist pig!"

    But please try to remember that this is not personal, it's not about you, no one is saying you have anything but the best intentions toward women. I don't believe anyone is even saying that any particular man, even the ones who buy sex, have an actual desire to objectify women.

    I believe what is being said (or at least what I would like to say) is that the objectification of women still exists. It's still a problem. It's a social problem. And prostitution is one of its symptoms.

    It's a sad state of affairs when women feel that selling their bodies for sex is their best option to get ahead or make ends meet. We need to address the circumstances that cause them to feel the need to do this.

    It's also a sad state of affairs when men feel that using women merely for their own gratification (sexual or otherwise) is an acceptable practice. We need to address why they feel the desire to do this and why they think it's okay.

    That's my $0.02 anyway.
  • Drowned Out
    Drowned Out Posts: 6,056
    Kenny Olav wrote:
    And I wouldn't blame them. I've worked in factories. I'd probably do the same thing. But let's get rid of all slavery. Let's get rid of the factories. Let's stop mass producing so much fucking junk. We should all be working much less, and enjoying ourselves a lot more.
    I hear this...



    Man ain't meant to work
    C'mon build a machine!
    So we can sleep and make love deeper
    Later we can dance and we can drink!
    Man ain't meant to work
    C'mon build a machine!
    So we can live for our own pleasure
    Please yourself!
    Please your queens!
    Early morning the sun is yawning
    I am not kind yet
    I am certain
    I have no doubt
    Life is for playing
    Days like these I hardly disagree
    So what!
    That's my conclusion
    I think I'm gonna dig myself now


    (this is the second Jane's Addiction song this thread has made me think of ;) )
  • angelica
    angelica Posts: 6,038
    ...from what I can tell, based on the history of Pickton in Vancouver...


    ...The problem here is that the street girls, the ones in the most danger, would never get a job in a parlour or for an agency, because normally they are the ones with dependency issues, psychological problems etc...
    Like my friend Cindy who happened to be murdered by Picton.

    RIP Cindy Beck.
    "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr

    http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta

    Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
  • Drowned Out
    Drowned Out Posts: 6,056
    angelica wrote:
    Like my friend Cindy who happened to be murdered by Picton.

    RIP Cindy Beck.

    so sorry to hear that angelica :(
    I can't imagine what it would be like to hear those stories and know one of the victims...the 'man' is a monster.
  • wolfbear
    wolfbear Posts: 3,965
    I admit I haven't read this whole thread, but I didn't see male prostitution addressed. Prostitution doesn't just affect women. It will always exist imo, so I am conflicted in the best way to handle it. At least if it is legalized, there will be some regulation and therefore support for those involved. In a perfect world it wouldn't exist, but as we know, there is no such thing. :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • angelica
    angelica Posts: 6,038
    so sorry to hear that angelica :(
    I can't imagine what it would be like to hear those stories and know one of the victims...the 'man' is a monster.
    Thanks for your sentiments.

    I can't imagine what Cindy endured at his hands...I do, however, have some insight into what she endured in her life. She was treated inhumanely by many... she was the "town tramp" and the treatment she received was deplorable. Even though her and I were pregnant teenagers at the same time, she at times was treated poorly by me as well. I still deal with that. It's surreal where she ended up....and yet, at the same time it somehow makes tragic sense. :(
    "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr

    http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta

    Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    scb wrote:
    What other viable options did they have? But should we just chalk it up to "she made her choice" and move on?

    Just because people "choose" prostitution doesn't mean it's not a problem.

    I don't know, depends on how you look at it. I see it as a choice. Yes, many are forced into it by circumstances but it's still a choice.
    Regarding patriarchy, exploitation, and objectification of women... one thing I've noticed about this board is that whenever such subjects come up many of the men - particularly the ones who seem to pride themselves on being "enlightened" - become quite defensive. It's as if when someone observes that these things still exist, what the men hear is, "You, sir, are a misogynist pig!"

    But please try to remember that this is not personal, it's not about you, no one is saying you have anything but the best intentions toward women. I don't believe anyone is even saying that any particular man, even the ones who buy sex, have an actual desire to objectify women.

    I believe what is being said (or at least what I would like to say) is that the objectification of women still exists. It's still a problem. It's a social problem. And prostitution is one of its symptoms.

    If you present prostitution as a problem caused by the patriarchal society and the objectification of women then I think you are seeing things in black and white. As much as you (or at least VictoryGin) might like to believe it, not all of the worlds problems are created by men. There's more to it.

    Prostitution exists for many reasons. There are prostitutes who love their job. There are women who go into prostitution because of easy money although other options are available. Perhaps they need a lot more money than they can ever earn with any other job (within their options, usually low paid jobs), yes, even if they earned the same amount men make.

    And there are many reasons why people visit prostitutes. It's not just because of the objectification of women. Again, to paint it that was is just painting it black and white.

    So when someone suggest that once we get rid of the objectification of women prostitution will magically disappear there will be a lot of people responding. Don't blame the guys here for actually stating the obvious.

    You'll also notice that all of these "enlightened" men :rolleyes: have acknowlegded objectification exists. They don't try to deny it in any way. VictoryGin didn't "observe" that it exists. She linked it to prostitution as if it's the sole cause.

    "Oldest profession in the world. It will never be stamped out."

    VG: "hey maybe it will be stamped out when our patriarchal culture stops objectifying women."

    Yes, she also later claimed to be merely talking about the existence of objectification.

    Hey, I'm just trying to get a feminist to admit her mistake. This hatred for the patriarchal society is clouding her vision.
    It's a sad state of affairs when women feel that selling their bodies for sex is their best option to get ahead or make ends meet. We need to address the circumstances that cause them to feel the need to do this.

    Yes, it's sad. But it's a reality. It also happens to be sad when men feel they need to sell their bodies, scb. Feminists :rolleyes: ;) j/k.

    But you are right, we need to address the circumstances and as I've pointed out before, and many other as well, the circumstances aren't all caused by the partiarchal society or the objectification of women. So that's why VictoryGin's misleading feminist rhetoric was addressed the way it was, not because us men hear "You, sir, are a misogynist pig!" We realise there's more to it. It's not black and white.
    It's also a sad state of affairs when men feel that using women merely for their own gratification (sexual or otherwise) is an acceptable practice. We need to address why they feel the desire to do this and why they think it's okay.

    Again, don't forget to mention women who use men. You sexist, you!
    I disagree, by the way. It is acceptable and I think it's ok. But I can assure you not everyone who visits a prostitute feels it's acceptable or ok.

    Why they have this "desire"? You're a smart girl, I'm sure you can think of tons of reasons why they have these "desire". A lot of these reasons are very hard to address.
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


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  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    VictoryGin wrote:
    are you saying that sex does not have anything to do with gender or sexuality and instead it's about commodification? sex is a product divorced of gender or sexuality implications? and because of this anyone who commodifies sex is exploiting themselves?
    No, I'm saying that sex within the realms of prostitution has little to do with sexuality on the part of the woman, in the case of those who do it from necessity but not from being forced into it by another person, so they are subject to exploitation more from their situation than from patriarchal oppression. The act is a transaction for the woman, not an emotional congression. Those who prostitute themselves from choice and for gratification as well as money are another matter, their outlook may well be shaped by society's influence on them but frankly, there are women who live in the same society and similar situations who DON'T turn to prostitution. It's too simplistic to call it oppression.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    wolfbear wrote:
    I admit I haven't read this whole thread, but I didn't see male prostitution addressed. Prostitution doesn't just affect women. It will always exist imo, so I am conflicted in the best way to handle it. At least if it is legalized, there will be some regulation and therefore support for those involved. In a perfect world it wouldn't exist, but as we know, there is no such thing. :)
    I mentioned it. I said that there are men out there who are desperate for money who turn to selling themselves for it, not because of an oppressive male society but because they have a body and people will pay for it. Simple as that.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"