Discussion Title

depopulationINC
Posts: 2,074
another that I am working on. thought I would through it out there. really need some feedback on this one
I denounce your temporal plane
Transgressions and faults require at least one day
I close eyes to the Unions ritual Decree
Why cant you just tell us all
That we should live free
Don’t portray false messages
From the unbirthed Ghost
Thoughts of Temporal lashings
Hurt the most
Evil lurks behind those pure eyes
Why repent sins against son of man
While Spirit defaced throws away the lamb
Is this His discipline
Or a controlling façade
Eating bread
From sweat of brow
Do all before Him
Be condemned by God
I denounce your temporal plane
Transgressions and faults require at least one day
I close eyes to the Unions ritual Decree
Why cant you just tell us all
That we should live free
Don’t portray false messages
From the unbirthed Ghost
Thoughts of Temporal lashings
Hurt the most
Evil lurks behind those pure eyes
Why repent sins against son of man
While Spirit defaced throws away the lamb
Is this His discipline
Or a controlling façade
Eating bread
From sweat of brow
Do all before Him
Be condemned by God
The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
Post edited by depopulationINC on
0
Comments
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lately, I've been really stretching with the poetry forum, but with this poem Depop, I like the passion and religious imagery, even if its meaning isn't very clear to me, I get some kind of meaning from it....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......0
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input from intelligent people and feeling ones and for this part of my life im pretty much as good for you as a burned out lightbulb
if you ask me though id say you felt and smarted out a poem that is as good as any and for that you rock
lets dance lets be good lets make true lovethanks to everyone who can read what i write without having to say something mean0 -
thankyou both kindly. I am still working on this one. I usually only spend a few minutes on a poem, but have been thinking about this one for a very long time. I finally started putting structure to it though. And yes, it has a strong meaning, at least for me. I am actually suprised nobody has taken a guess at what this is about.The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
I added a bit here:
I denounce your temporal plane
Transgressions and faults require at least one day
I close eyes to the Unions ritual Decree
Why cant you just tell us all
That we should live free
Don’t portray false messages
From the unbirthed Ghost
Thoughts of Temporal lashings
Hurt the most
Evil lurks behind those pure eyes
Why repent sins against son of man
While Spirit defaced throws away the lamb
Is this His discipline
Or a controlling façade
Eating bread
From sweat of brow
Do all before Him
Be condemned by God
This might be
A mortal sin
Seems so venial
At best
Deep within
Free your body
Mind and soul
Drink the blood
Ass you grow old
Before my living
Can commence
Holy Eucharist Sacrament
But when you kneel
And then repent
If you die you’ll stay above
But without feast
Will He show His loveThe only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
Jesus Christ Child
Heaven save me
From this Jesus Christ child
Don’t want redemption
You can’t save us all
I’m not cursing
I don’t bow to your name
Not blasphemy
If I was never there to walk away
My life
Good riddance
Well I need a tan
If I’m going there
I don’t want your hand
For he who saved me
Was just a man
No heaven’s grace
Not God’s outstretched hand
So Heaven save me
From this Jesus Christ child
Salvation’s bullshit
Don’t want your redemption plan
Please don’t guide me
Don’t want your light
I shut that door
I locked it tight
So please release me
Want you forgotten
No need for Sacraments
On the path I’ll followThe only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
At first read Depop I thought it was a venting on politics (Bush) but now I'm not so sure. Very well written and now has me pondering. Thanks for sharing!!Adolescence in essence is all about trust.
Leaving is for the answering machine.0 -
coachchris wrote:At first read Depop I thought it was a venting on politics (Bush) but now I'm not so sure. Very well written and now has me pondering. Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks for the feedback.
No, not at all about politics. I never titled the 1st piece, as the title I have in mind would give it all away much too easily.The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
Interesting read. Not too much into religion I'm gathering.0
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'Evil lurks behind those pure eyes'K-The lost will do their best to get home, if they are loved. To our soldiers who have given what they had.0
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twin2 wrote:Interesting read. Not too much into religion I'm gathering.
I am very much so actually....here is my quick story...I posted it in another thread a couple days ago..............
http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?p=2961834#post2961834
Quote:
Originally Posted by hailhailkc
You sure you're a main of your own faith...because you sound pretty Catholic to me.
yeah, I am pretty sure.
My parents are of 2 different faiths, and my dad's side is strong Catholic. They married United. I hated united, viewing it as weak, and really having no strong base. I left it when I was 16.
I wasn't sure where I wanted to turn to. My family is not an outgoing religious family, but felt that if I could find a new faith, and justify why I was interested in it, they would accept it (this was at 14-15)
I considered Maorti (Judaism is fairly interesting, and this form is a bit more forgiving/liberal), but just didn't feel it was for me.I could not go Prodistant/anglican (I am Irish, and knew this would be unnacceptable to many extended family members (catholic)). I found the prodestant ways (all strands) TOO overbering. Islam was fairl alluring, but I was very confused about some of the Sunni and Shiite followings, though I am still in awe uf this faith.
I decided I was interested in Scientology. I learned as much as I could about it. I found that it made a lot of sense. Fortunately, my family said no. The religion really has went in an odd direction from it roots over the past few years.
I researched Paganism, but for some reason could not separate it from Druid days. It really is a nice faith, but the Druid thing ALWAYS pops to mind when I think about it.
Finally I came across Devine Science. This is a great faith that essentially believes one should follow the teachings of God/Jesus/bible, but that we are of our own doing. I liked this, and looked for similar faiths. I came across many including, but not limited to, Scientific Pantheism, and Finally I found Theosophy. I liked this. There were similar faiths, but I went with this because it is loosely based on Catholism, which I was always fairly familiar with, and had attended Catholic church periodically.
Down the road, I got engaged to a girl from an extremely Catholic family. They didn’t even like us dating, so before I asked her to marry me, I converted to Catholic. I have SEVERAL reasons for not liking the religion, from before and after I converted. I could go on and on about that, but the final straw for me was when I asked a priest to justify why a newborn that dies can not go to heaven. I could not accept that. They have not committed any real sins, but NO access!!! We are no longer together.
I realized that I really do not believe in god, or a higher power, so I am still in search.
I guess technically I am a non-practicing Catholic, though I really inside am not even that.
I have continued research on many religions, and have read the new testament several times, along with other converted to English sacraments from various religions. I still know main stream Christianity best (all Christianities I believe use the bible, so there are always a lot of similarities). I look at religion research as more of a hobby than anything. I find it fascinating.
Presently I am looking more into Deism and Taoism. Tao may actually be what I would be most interested in following, if that day ever comes again.
So, anyways, that is why I know what I know. I have done a fair amount of research, converted a few times, and read a lot on Christianity as a whole, discoverring the close bindings and enormous wedges between so many strands of one faith.
If you read all of that, congrats and thanks.
'.'The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
sistanumsy wrote:'Evil lurks behind those pure eyes'
I know the tittle that I would give the first one (the 2nd one has one allready), I just didn't post it.
As for that line, "pure eyes" is a common christian reference....The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
Hey! I actually just got done reading that as a matter of fact and sent you a message. Sorry about that. I apologize.0
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I know the tittle that I would give the first one (the 2nd one has one allready), I just didn't post it.
I would like to hear it. I read the 'insight' you wrote and wow. I have seen these things like you have but have not so much researched. I kinda just keep going and what will be will be. Life is too short to waste soo...I try not. This didn't send off to me an evil you but society and their stipulation. I couldn't imagine the innocents of a new born being turned aside. I see that was changed this past winter, you would know more.K-The lost will do their best to get home, if they are loved. To our soldiers who have given what they had.0 -
Sounds like you have done your homework depop. My ex who is also irish was raised Catholic and so was my mom. He later converted to Christian before we met and claims he could talk in tongue and be slain in the spirit. He practiced nothing visibly while we were together accept for perhaps selfishness and was probably one of the most hateful and immoral people I have ever met. He did not trust anyone. I endured alot and loved him anyway. I don't think they have a religion for that but anything is possible. My mom is still quietly Catholic but raised us Christian and did not have us baptised, not wanting religion to interfere with who we marry. My dad considers himself to be a pedestrian and says he doesn't need a hypocrit telling him how to behave moral. Over the years I went to Christian, Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, and Episcopal churches on and off. Most of the time however, I just read my Bible and prayed and considered myself a non-denominational Christian. None of my friends were Christian and no one I knew practiced any organized religion. Church bugged me alot because it seemed like no one did any of the stuff they were claiming to believe so I wondered why they bothered with it. Why would you behave anyway you want and than have someone supposedly wipe away your sins every Sunday. Although a little rough around the edges my dad who is not religious at all is more moral and a good man more so than most of the "religious" people I have met. I view religion more spiritually than anything and it helps me tremendously. I have a few Christian friends but most of my friends are not religious. I think people are accountable for themselves and what they do and say no matter what they are. I hope you find what you are looking for in your quest for religions. Very passionate reads by the way.Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
After you die...you know how to LIVE!0 -
Kings that rule
You can see
Sit on the thrown
And iron fist
Pounds to the arm
Decree shows they’re real
Oh these prayers
We’ll try again
To the man
Whom has no name
Oh remember
Those illusions are in his game
Your delusions his pawn to play
He likes to plot
To let it grow
Diversions come in so many ways
He passes time
You pass your life away
Disposition of the unseen king
It hides in shadows
It hides from you
It hides in shadow
You would not follow
If you saw the truth
Lay me down
I know there will be no one to comfort me
Where I go
You will never see
What I am
What I’ll be
Where I’m at
I’ll feed this tree
No more thinking
No more pain
No more will
All at the moment
No more hopes
No more dreams
No more anger
Over what will never be
No more thoughts
No more empty days
No trying way
All hail eternal night
No more crying
No more wonder
No more ponder
Return to where we all come from
In these moments
Nowhere to fade
Passing moments
End of game
So uninspired
So ridiculed
So walk away
Nowhere to go to
So long now
So it’s gone
So memories
They’ll wash away from time
In these moments I hate it all
Regret those moments
That passed on by
In these moments I let it go
Can’t take it with me
Nowhere to go
In these moments it sinks on in
Nothing to die for
Why would I live
In these moments
No more need to forgive
And so shallow
Senseless game
Didn’t want to join
Don’t want to play
Whatever lies
Whomever steals
One who blesses
Who helps a friend
Kindest heart
Passion of soul
He who plunders
Who steals your gold
It’s all the same
One final end
Rewards of heaven
Passed on to you
Keeps the law in trend
Do you feel inspired
Are you in his game
Is your mind so trapped
You still desire to pray
Die
Live it the way you want to
Die
Clear you path
Make your own truth
Die
End the game
You’re the only one who plays
Die
Fade away days righteous days
Lie
He can never strike you down
Question convictions
Devotion is what has lead astray
He who jesters lives their fate untold
Go on now
Go and hang your head
Clasp your hands
Bleed out the dread
If it helps you sleep at night
Grasp at straws
Hold the spirit tight
Go on now
Go hang your head
Is this your life or something you do to make your bed
Rest on
Hope it comforts you
Sleep
Feeling your soul is at ease
Breathe
Let it go now just release
Forgo his sanctity once you know that it’s all make-believe
Still from the book
Sacred lies
Truths untold
Right before your eyes
Once walked a boy
Then was a man
Before his birth
Spread healing to the land
And kings bowed down
They aimed to please
By claiming so
Brainwashing control would lead
And empty
Words that fill
Heaps and loads
Of crap to spread like weeds
In spoken fears
Wrath to unfold
So follow faith
Bow down in prayer
To the no one who leads
Bow down your head
Make their creature realThe only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
Kings that rule
You can see
Sit on the thrown
With iron fist
Pounding on the arm
Causing fear
Controlling chaos
Decree shows that they are real
Oh these prayers
Shall we try again
To the unseen man
One whom has no name
Oh remember
Those illusions are in his game
Your delusions his pawn to play
He likes to plot
To let it grow
Diversions come in so many ways
He passes time
You pass your life away
Disposition of the unseen king
It hides in shadows
It hides from you
It hides in shadow
Would you follow
If you ever saw the truth
Lay me down
I know there will be no one to comfort me
Where I go
You will never see
What I am
What I’ll be
Where I’m at
I’ll feed this tree
No more thinking
No more pain
No more will
Eat the moment
Tasting that it is for real
No more hopes
No more dreams
No more anger
Over what will never be
No more thoughts
No more empty days
No trying
All hail eternal night
No more crying
No more wonder
No more ponder
Return to where we all come from
In these moments
Nowhere to fade
Passing moments
End of game
So uninspired
So ridiculed
So walk away
Nowhere to go to
So long now
So it’s gone
So memories
They’ll wash away from time
In these moments I hate it all
Regret those moments
That passed on by
In these moments I let it go
Can’t take it with me
Nowhere to go
In these moments it sinks on in
Nothing to die for
Why would I live
In these moments
No more need to forgive
And so shallow
Senseless game
Didn’t want to join
Don’t want to play
Whatever lies
Whomever steals
One who blesses
Who helps a friend
Kindest heart
Passion of soul
He who plunders
Who steals your gold
It’s all the same
One final end
Rewards of heaven
Passed on to you
Keeps the law in trend
Do you feel inspired
Are you in his game
Is your mind so trapped
You still desire to pray
Die
Live it the way you want to
Die
Clear you path
Make your own truth
Die
End the game
You’re the only one who plays
Die
Fade away days righteous days
Lie
He can never strike you down
Question convictions
Devotion is what has lead astray
He who jesters lives their fate untold
Go on now
Go and hang your head
Clasp your hands
Bleed out the dread
If it helps you sleep at night
Grasp at straws
Hold the spirit tight
Go on now
Go hang your head
Is this your life or something you do to make your bed
Rest on
Hope it comforts you
Sleep
Feeling your soul is at ease
Breathe
Let it go now just release
Forgo his sanctity once you know that it’s all make-believe
Still from the book
Sacred lies
Truths untold
Right before your eyes
Once walked a boy
Then was a man
Before his birth
Spread healing to the land
And kings bowed down
They aimed to please
By claiming so
Brainwashing control would lead
And empty
Words that fill
Heaps and loads
Of crap to spread like weeds
In spoken fears
Wrath to unfold
So follow faith
Bow down in prayer
To the no one who leads
Bow down your head
Make their creature real
Final moments
Not a sign
No regret
You never had to fall in line
Final moments
Fade away
Where you will be resting
There you shall stay
No more weekends
No holidays
Can’t see sunshine
All fades away
No outstretched hand
No big white gate
You won’t look down
On the ones who stayed
Not too hot
Not too cold
Nothing to feel
When your feeding the worldThe only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
I myself believe in god and his son.. jesus. I was born and raised church of christ untill my parents split and I began to alternate weekends between a baptist church and the c of Christ. The danger in religion comes when a person stops exploring and sharing it, and thinks that he/she has it all figured out. It is human nature to disagree and no one likes to admit they are wrong.
The majority of the hard core baptist where sure that the Church of Christ people were going to hell and vice versa. This left a stain in my heart that leads me not to trust churches all together. So many people listen for God through the voice of the preacher, take it literally and evetually feel that He or she can do no wrong. Then when they do, like we all do, we become hypocrits in the eyes of people on the other side. I believe a quality of a church lies in the quality of the music. I find it hard to trust a service that seems more like a show rather than people lifting they're voices to GoD in unison.
I will not attend a church under the leadership of a minister that will never admit he was wrong about something. I will also never again attend a church that is unexepting of other cultures. These places of worship cannot be found by reading the title of the church. You have to experience it for yourself. If you feel inclined to try something different, TRY it. People are going to always have an opinion, but we follow God he doesn't follow us or certian people.
Please don't take this reply as me attempting to "preach because my soul is no order to lead anyone , anywhere."I took a walk so I could curse my ass for being dumb!!!
www.myspace.com/lastgeneration560 -
walkerlastgen1 wrote:I myself believe in god and his son.. jesus. I was born and raised church of christ untill my parents split and I began to alternate weekends between a baptist church and the c of Christ. The danger in religion comes when a person stops exploring and sharing it, and thinks that he/she has it all figured out. It is human nature to disagree and no one likes to admit they are wrong.
The majority of the hard core baptist where sure that the Church of Christ people were going to hell and vice versa. This left a stain in my heart that leads me not to trust churches all together. So many people listen for God through the voice of the preacher, take it literally and evetually feel that He or she can do no wrong. Then when they do, like we all do, we become hypocrits in the eyes of people on the other side. I believe a quality of a church lies in the quality of the music. I find it hard to trust a service that seems more like a show rather than people lifting they're voices to GoD in unison.
I will not attend a church under the leadership of a minister that will never admit he was wrong about something. I will also never again attend a church that is unexepting of other cultures. These places of worship cannot be found by reading the title of the church. You have to experience it for yourself. If you feel inclined to try something different, TRY it. People are going to always have an opinion, but we follow God he doesn't follow us or certian people.
Please don't take this reply as me attempting to "preach because my soul is no order to lead anyone , anywhere."
I hear what you are saying...but there is more to this one than the top layer you are seeingThe only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!
And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key0 -
Man this is such a great piece and yeah it does have an underlying layer. As I read it I found my self writing it too so here is what happened. If I changed it in your heart fealt meaning I apologize in advance.:o
kings that rule can you see
sit in the thrown with iron fist
pounding on the arm causing fear
control chaos, by decree they are real
oh these prayers shall we try again
to the unseen man whom has no name
remember illusions are in his name
your delusions his pawn to play
he likes to plot to let it grow
diversions come in so many ways
he passes time you pass lifes way
disposition of the unseen king
it hides in shadows hides form you
It hides in shadow would you follow
if you ever saw the truth
lay me down to comfort me
where I go you will never see
what I am what I'll be...
where I'm at I'll feed this tree
no more thinking, no more pain
no more will eat the moment
tasting that is is for real
no more hopes, no more dreams,
no more anger of what will never be
no thoughts of empty days, no trying
all hail eternal night
no crying, or wonder to ponder
return where we all come from
In these moments nowhere to fade
passing moments, end of game
uninspired, ridiculed, so walk away
no where to go to, so long now
it's gone in memories so
they'll wash away from time
in these moments I let it go
can't take it with me- nowhere
in these moments it sinks on in
nothing to die for why would I live
in these moments no more to forgive
and so shallow senseless game
didn't want to join didn't want to play
whatever lies whomever kills
one who blesses, who helps a freind
kindest heart passion of soul
he who plunders who steals your gold
it's all the same one final end
rewards of heaven passed on to you
keeping the law in trend
feel inspired? are you in his game?
is your mind trapped, desire to pray
live it the way you want to-die
clear your path, your own truth-die
end the game the only one who plays-die
fade away days, righteous, days-die
he can never strike you down-lie
lie to question convictions
devotion is what has lead astray
he who jesters lives their fate untold
go on now and hang your head
clasp your hands, bleed out the dread
if it helps you sleep at night
grasp at straws, hold the spirit tight
go on now go hang your head
is this your life or something you do
to make your bed, rest on
hope it comforts you, sleep
feeling your soul is at ease
breathe, let it go, now just release
forgo his sanctity once you know
" it's all make believe " so...
still from the book sacred lies
truths untold right before your eyes
once walked a boy then was a man
before his birth, healing spread the land
kings bowed down aimed to please
so, brainwashing control would lead
empty words, fill, heaps and loads
of crap to spread like weeds
in spoken fears wrath to unfold
so follow faith bow down in prayer
to the no one who leads bow down
in your head make their creature real
final moments, not a sign, no regret
you never had to fall in line
final moments that fade away, where
you will be resting there you shall stay
no more weekends no holidays
can't see sunshine all fades away
no outstretched hand no big white gate
you won't look down on ones who stayed
not too hot not too cold nothing to feel
when your feeding the world.K-The lost will do their best to get home, if they are loved. To our soldiers who have given what they had.0 -
O.k. aside from the obvious, this is what I got from it:
we are all pawns in God's game - why would a loving God who teaches love allow suffering or give us "tests" - thus a question of his character; following someone who does things we are told not to do; mind-games; contradiction.
regret for past mistakes and/or opportunities missed following and doing the "right thing", a love lost, etc.
religion is a crutch for some to ease pain or justify themselves. it may be reason to exist/live. it is also a way for leaders to justify themselves and keep people in line/control.
if you don't follow those truths and make your own way, you can get what you want without having to answer to anyone or give control to something/someone who may not exist.
Is that kinda in line with it? Am I missing more to it? I liked that you could read different things into this poem and take it different ways. You do have a gift with that.Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
After you die...you know how to LIVE!0
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