Mock a musician in First Person POV

24

Comments

  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Hi, I'm just re-working one of my old hits... see if this works would you:-


    An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day… of chronic emphysema from inhalation of the latex particles scratched off decades’ worth of lottery tickets.

    A traffic jam when you’re already late… to receive an award from the Municipal Planning Board for reducing the city’s automobile congestion 80 percent.

    Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife… with which to kill your spouse for sleeping with the young soux chef who works at the Au Bon Pain.


    its not as catchy... but i think it meets the technical criteria


    luv and huggles
    Alanis Morisette
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    dunkman wrote:
    Hi i'm George Michael.

    now lets be honest.. i wore shorts so tight you could see my breakfast, i had hair that took 4 days to set and i'm Greek... and you all got a surprise when i said i was gay.

    Oh and another thing... this brown stuff i have smeared around my face isnt because i was Careless with my Wispa... thats all I'm saying
    :D

    That was actually brilliant.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Salut je suis Jean Michael Jarre.

    Je veux que vous rêviez des poissons qui peuvent pleurer les larmes sèches. Une fois que ceci a été fait vous sentirez la sensation de mes poumons s'ouvrant et augmentant à temps avec le battement.

    C'est musique française vous foutu renifleur de babouin.

    p.s. ne poussez jamais un blaireau affligé dans le visage avec le peu pointu sur le coin de votre clavier.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • reeferchief
    reeferchief Posts: 3,569
    It took half a bottle of whiskey and a joke about Nick Olivieri naked to get me to smile for that Gutter Twins inlay.
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
  • BinFrog
    BinFrog MA Posts: 7,314
    Hi I'm Henry Rollins.

    I was in a semi-influential hardcore band in the 80's, worked out like a madman to get huge, and now I do spoken word tours and think my opinion is the gospel. Everyone should listen to me and respect everything I say because of my angry, sarcastic & cynical demeanor.

    Don't argue with me, I'm huge.
    Bright eyed kid: "Wow Typo Man, you're the best!"
    Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    BinFrog wrote:
    Hi I'm Henry Rollins.

    I was in a semi-influential hardcore band in the 80's, worked out like a madman to get huge, and now I do spoken word tours and think my opinion is the gospel. Everyone should listen to me and respect everything I say because of my angry, sarcastic & cynical demeanor.

    Don't argue with me, I'm huge.
    uh... everything else is fair enough even though I love Henry but "SEMI-influential"?

    wtf
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • BinFrog
    BinFrog MA Posts: 7,314
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    uh... everything else is fair enough even though I love Henry but "SEMI-influential"?

    wtf


    I would easily rank the Dead Kennedys and Minor Threat way ahead of Black Flag in terms of influence.
    Bright eyed kid: "Wow Typo Man, you're the best!"
    Typo Man: "Thanks kidz, but remembir, stay in skool!"
  • Joe2TheRevenge
    Joe2TheRevenge Posts: 904
    This thread was going good till the thing about Rollins

    That guy spends more time researching what he talks about firsthand than anyone else on the planet.

    Rollins is off limits.

    Thread rules.
    You can't spell "dumb" without DMB
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    BinFrog wrote:
    I would easily rank the Dead Kennedys and Minor Threat way ahead of Black Flag in terms of influence.
    I would agree if not for the fact that Minor Threat themselves were heavily influenced by Black Flag. Admittedly it was pre-Rollins Black Flag but Hank does not a whole band make, in spite of the overwhelming neck :p

    Don't get me wrong, Minor Threat are probably in my top 5 bands ever. Far prefer them to Black Flag.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Hi

    stop arguing or i'll do stuff to you all

    love

    Phil Spector
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • DOSW
    DOSW Posts: 2,014
    Hello, my name's MC Hammer, I'll be your server this evening. Can I start you with something to drink?
    It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win
  • No Fear Of Falling
    No Fear Of Falling Posts: 419
    Hi, im Dave A. You may have heard of me in this band Pearl.. ah, whatever.

    Anyway, this is our newest Camry, the 2009 model.... (continues sales pitch)
    2004 - 10/1, 10/11
    2005 - 9/15, 9/16, 9/30, 10/1, 10/3
    2006 - 5/5, 5/12, 5/13, 5/27, 5/28, 5/30, 6/1, 6/3, 6/23, 7/22, 7/23, 12/2
    2007 - 6/27, 8/3
    2008 - 6/14, 6/19, 6/20, 6/22, 6/24, 6/25, 6/27, 6/28, 6/30, 7/1
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Hi i'm Britney Spears and i'm a bald bi-polar ex-singer

    no you're not.

    uh, yes... actually i am.

    prove it baldy

    no, you prove I isnt.

    no you prove it you fat hobo sniffer or i'll burn your house down

    what.. like that girl from TLC tried to do?

    yeah just like that

    isnt she like dead now or something

    i dont know... what am i .. E! News?

    bitch

    Aguilera

    *strikes match*

    I think we need help.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Hi i'm miley cyrus

    in 4 years i'll either be pregnant or a junkie

    thanks
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    see yo pussy ass fools!!!

    i oughtta wipe out all your asses and send you back to yo mammas looking like li'l kids crying about their lunch getting messed the fuck up. You mofo's need to be respectin the fuck outta me and my boyz... we smoke all yo asses and make you chumps seem like whiteys plain hoops n shit. But if y'all muthers can be cool wit me then I'll reciprocate that love and respect back to y'all

    peace out
    Tony Bennett
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    Hi I'm Marc Almond... anyone up for a nice thick creamy milkshake?
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    You mention me in this thread, and I'll fucking sue you for not paying me royalties. Motherfuckers.


    Lars Ulrich™
  • MattyJoe
    MattyJoe Posts: 1,424
    ^ Ha good one.

    Henry Rollins is off limits? What the fuck does that mean?
    I pledge to you a government that will not only work well, but wisely, its ability to act tempered by prudence, and its willingness to do good, balanced by the knowledge that government is never more dangerous than when our desire to have it help us blinds us to its great power to harm us.
    -Reagan
  • reeferchief
    reeferchief Posts: 3,569
    MattyJoe wrote:
    ^ Ha good one.

    Henry Rollins is off limits? What the fuck does that mean?

    A nerve has been touched.
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    No, I just look like him. You want fries with that? Coke? Okay. And onions? To eat now? No, honestly, I just look a little like him. Yeah, yeah, might be these lights. Uh huh. That'll be five dollars and forty-eight cents. Thanguverymuch.



    Sales Assistant Evlis Raaon Persley

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