are you comfortable being alone?

2

Comments

  • CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    I'm NEVER getting fucking married again
    +1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • PearlOfAGirlPearlOfAGirl Posts: 15,993
    I think it's time I come to terms with this. I've been fighting it for years (I'm an only child and have always hated it). Since the fail of my marriage and other relationships I feel the need to accept myself and the possibility that I may just be alone in my life.

    I think a road trip alone in the future might do the trick.


    Has anyone traveled alone or been able to come out of a shell and accept being alone?

    :D
    I'm going to be alone within the next few weeks, and as much as this needs to be done, I'm kind of nervous about the whole thing. I've NEVER been alone!!! :roll: :oops: :roll:

    Wish you were here...

    ~RIP Dad
  • megatronmegatron Posts: 3,420
    i was forced to be alone for the first time awhile back. was awful.
    then after awhile i realized its the greatest thing ever.
    i havent traveled extensively alone but sometimes if no one is down for an out of town show or beach trip ill fly solo
    its pretty theraputic i find

    i also enjoy waking up alone rather than next to a temporary fix
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    I'm married now with a family, but from when I was about 22-30, I pretty much lived alone the whole time. I actually loved it.

    I know people who can't seem to survive without someone. I wouldn't change a thing about my situation, but being alone (IMO) is nothing to be afraid of.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    I cherish my alone time. I need it to recharge. Being around too many people for too long drains the life right out of me.




    absolutely!
    even being around my husband, i need a break. :lol:
    seriously, we BOTH need our 'alone' time.....and make sure we get it and respect it. mr. dream usually has a band practice or 2 each week, and i rarely even make plans for those nights....i just like having the time to myself, at home, alone......fantastic. :mrgreen:
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    I have never traveled alone but Im somewhat of a loner. I like people but I need my alone time. I don't constantly need to be with people.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • I used to feel like I always need to be with someone, but I have been single now for about 5yrs and I have grown to like it.I dont have anybody to answer to no body telling me you shouldn't spend your money on posters or concerts. (NAG NAG NAG) Don;t get me wrong I do miss the companionship sometimes and of course having sex. I just haven't met anybody.I dont go out to bars becuase I hate when you try to talk to some one and you have to yell and fck standing I would rather sit down,have a nice dinner somewhere a good bottle of wine and good company ;)
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    Brandi, you can never be alone..............................




    its so obvious that you will always have the voices in your head to keep you company. :D

    hell, you have a full on party going on up there.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    the wolf wrote:
    Brandi, you can never be alone..............................




    its so obvious that you will always have the voices in your head to keep you company. :D

    hell, you have a full on party going on up there.
    Meanie :P
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • JordyWordyJordyWordy Posts: 2,261
    i like my time alone, and ive been mostly single for the last three years (not pursuing things with women that i didnt see lasting & the like). but too much time alone is bad. i like my time to myself to think, but damn, i have great friends and i dont see them enough, which is not good cos im a better person because of them. and its my fault because of the hours i work and the college courses i do. when im finished next month thats changing.

    i find i get a bit introverted and, well, selfish when im just alone too much. having friends/family around can help balance you out. my friends balance me out in the happiness end of things more than my family. i was in a relationship last year that made me realise im definitely not ready to start settling down, but that having someone is good....if its healthy (be that what it may in your circumstances, fuck-buddy, drinking mate, gf)... im bored with being single
  • ThunderclapThunderclap Lexington, KY Posts: 108
    I think it's time I come to terms with this. I've been fighting it for years (I'm an only child and have always hated it). Since the fail of my marriage and other relationships I feel the need to accept myself and the possibility that I may just be alone in my life.

    I think a road trip alone in the future might do the trick.


    Has anyone traveled alone or been able to come out of a shell and accept being alone?

    :D

    I'm sick of being alone.

    I'm an only child and I've always had a hard time making friends and dating, so being alone has been the norm for me for my entire life. Part of the problem is that I've never been able to initiate conversation and/or keep a conversation going for long once it's started, and those kinds of things are self perpetuating. I.e., I have a hard time starting conversations with women I find attractive, so I rarely try, which makes it harder when I do try, and so on. The conversations I do have are awkward for the most part so that adds to the difficulty even more. Messageboards and dating sites are no exceptions for me either. Even though I have had some luck with the one site I'm a member of, I still have a difficult time taking that first step and messaging people that have interesting profiles.

    I've only had a few girlfriends but I know what it's like to not be alone. I know the feeling of having someone there to share great things with and to have someone to talk to when I'm down. I know what it's like to have someone out there that misses me. I know what it's like to be wanted. I also know what it's like to be the person that someone comes to when things in their world aren't going so great. These are just a few of the things that I miss when I'm alone, and the lack of these things leaves a huge hole in me. I have good days and bad days, and most of the bad days are on the weekends when I'm out in public and I see all of the happy couples being happy together. But seeing those couples gives me hope, and it should you too. Being alone is a decision that you indirectly (or directly) make yourself, for the most part. I choose to not talk to people because of the anxiety it causes me, so I thereby indirectly choose to be alone. At least that's how I see it.

    I know I can make someone happy, especially after all of the boyfriend horror stories that I've heard my female friends tell me over the years. I know I can do better and I've had several of them tell me that I can. They can't seem to understand why I'm alone but it makes perfect sense to me. I'm alone (and lonely) because I don't put myself out there and talk to women, or anyone for that matter.

    And let's not EVEN talk about the sex. When you end up finding the perfect partner, someone that pushes your buttons, and lets you push theirs, it makes everything in the relationship so much more intense :twisted:. I'm not about to accept the idea that I'm never going to have sex with anyone but myself ever again lol

    So to answer your post, I can't accept the idea that I'm destined to be alone and you shouldn't either. If you feel like you can make someone happy, then don't let your self-doubt get in the way. Your marriage might not have worked, but there was a time when it did work and you both were happy, and that can happen again with someone else, you just have to keep looking.
    TEACHER SEEKS PUPIL
    Must have an earnest desire to save the world
    Apply in person
  • megatronmegatron Posts: 3,420
    I think it's time I come to terms with this. I've been fighting it for years (I'm an only child and have always hated it). Since the fail of my marriage and other relationships I feel the need to accept myself and the possibility that I may just be alone in my life.

    I think a road trip alone in the future might do the trick.


    Has anyone traveled alone or been able to come out of a shell and accept being alone?

    :D

    I'm sick of being alone.

    I'm an only child and I've always had a hard time making friends and dating, so being alone has been the norm for me for my entire life. Part of the problem is that I've never been able to initiate conversation and/or keep a conversation going for long once it's started, and those kinds of things are self perpetuating. I.e., I have a hard time starting conversations with women I find attractive, so I rarely try, which makes it harder when I do try, and so on. The conversations I do have are awkward for the most part so that adds to the difficulty even more. Messageboards and dating sites are no exceptions for me either. Even though I have had some luck with the one site I'm a member of, I still have a difficult time taking that first step and messaging people that have interesting profiles.

    I've only had a few girlfriends but I know what it's like to not be alone.

    feel ya man..i've had one legit gf and had trouble meeting others
    was in same boat as far as starting conversations with attractive women
    i've got a new take on it though
    i've learned to enjoy getting shot down..don't know where it came from but i just somehow found humor in things not working out.
    no way every girl will like what you have to say..impossible
    ya got to be able to laugh at yourself and then i guess its easier to accept the rejection..
    its a numbers game bud. the more you put yourself out there..the more likely someone will listen.
    they might even be in the same situation :D
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    milarso wrote:
    I'm the kind of person that is really happy either alone or with friends. I love people, but there are some days that I look forward to coming home and having my place all to myself. I think there is a lot to be said for being able to be completely satisfied in enjoying your own company.
    There really really is. I love my me time... and I get plenty of it. I'm very sociable but sometimes people just annoy me :D . There's not so many places to go here but, in Dublin, I'd often head off to the beach or to the cinema or wherever on my own. Once I went to the beach on a Saturday morning, really liked it so I booked into a guesthouse for the night, I ate on my own, drank on my own and did everything on my own. It really pushed the boundaries for me but it was quite empowering somehow :D . I met plenty of people that night and wasn't really alone at all... but it was strange when people ask the usual questions and I told them I was out alone and why... the looks I got. I was talking to my sister on the phone and she said 'that's a bit weird' :? I seriously enjoyed that weekend and I felt like I'd been on a spa weekend by the end of it. I really must do something like that again... cos, while I'm sociable and yet love me time, I do find it hard to push myself to DO stuff alone, I'd rather do nothing alone and do stuff with others... but that weekend kinda proved me wrong :oops:
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    JordyWordy wrote:
    i like my time alone, and ive been mostly single for the last three years (not pursuing things with women that i didnt see lasting & the like). but too much time alone is bad. i like my time to myself to think, but damn, i have great friends and i dont see them enough, which is not good cos im a better person because of them. and its my fault because of the hours i work and the college courses i do. when im finished next month thats changing.

    i find i get a bit introverted and, well, selfish when im just alone too much. having friends/family around can help balance you out. my friends balance me out in the happiness end of things more than my family. i was in a relationship last year that made me realise im definitely not ready to start settling down, but that having someone is good....if its healthy (be that what it may in your circumstances, fuck-buddy, drinking mate, gf)... im bored with being single
    It's kinda strange... but I feel by me getting plenty of alone time, it makes me LESS selfish :oops: I used to get frustrated sometimes when I was always with others that we may not be able to do what I wanted or watch/listen to what I wanted or even talk about what I wanted. But then I can take care of all that in my me time and when I'm with others, I've already satisfied my needs to do whatever so I can give more of my time to them :) and I'm genuinely happy with going along with just whatever.
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • know1know1 Posts: 6,794
    I definitely do not mind being alone one bit. In fact, I need a fair amount of time alone, really.
    The only people we should try to get even with...
    ...are those who've helped us.

    Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
  • megatronmegatron Posts: 3,420
    when im alone i put on "in hiding" and cry in my whiskey
    it f'ing awesome!
  • JordyWordyJordyWordy Posts: 2,261
    It's kinda strange... but I feel by me getting plenty of alone time, it makes me LESS selfish :oops: I used to get frustrated sometimes when I was always with others that we may not be able to do what I wanted or watch/listen to what I wanted or even talk about what I wanted. But then I can take care of all that in my me time and when I'm with others, I've already satisfied my needs to do whatever so I can give more of my time to them :) and I'm genuinely happy with going along with just whatever.

    hmmm, that is true,i guess i can apply that to me too now i think about it.

    .....it's all one big balancing act :)
  • I love being alone! I have traveled a lot to see Pearl Jam on my own too. It can be a little nerve racking but it's an adventure.....
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me.."
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,301
    I love my alone time!
    I live alone, and I travel a lot for work...which is usually me traveling alone.


    Sometimes there is noting better than kicking back and relaxing by yourself. It feels good sometimes to not have to socialize or talk to anyone.
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    JordyWordy wrote:
    It's kinda strange... but I feel by me getting plenty of alone time, it makes me LESS selfish :oops: I used to get frustrated sometimes when I was always with others that we may not be able to do what I wanted or watch/listen to what I wanted or even talk about what I wanted. But then I can take care of all that in my me time and when I'm with others, I've already satisfied my needs to do whatever so I can give more of my time to them :) and I'm genuinely happy with going along with just whatever.

    hmmm, that is true,i guess i can apply that to me too now i think about it.

    .....it's all one big balancing act :)
    exactly... balancing... it's good to get some alone time... good for the soul... but too much of it can be bad too
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    I personally would rather be alone than wish I was. I very much love being single and being alone. I have a great group of friends with whom I have lots of laughs and good times. My family is some of closest friends. Do I date? yup. I like meeting new people and sharing laughs but I haven't wanted to deal with the compromise that comes with relationships. Is it boring at home alone sometimes? sure but I'm not lonely. I do love to go out by myself or with friends. Do I want to be alone the rest of my life? no but I don't spend my days, hours and seconds searching for someone to "save" me from being alone. I love where I'm at in life, love the woman I am. I wouldn't have any other way.
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • PatrickBatemanPatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    Ill get back you in a few weeks and let ya know
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • LizardLizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    when im alone i put on "in hiding" and cry in my whiskey
    it f'ing awesome!
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:


    wait. you were joking, right?
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    Whizbang wrote:
    I personally would rather be alone than wish I was. I very much love being single and being alone. I have a great group of friends with whom I have lots of laughs and good times. My family is some of closest friends. Do I date? yup. I like meeting new people and sharing laughs but I haven't wanted to deal with the compromise that comes with relationships. Is it boring at home alone sometimes? sure but I'm not lonely. I do love to go out by myself or with friends. Do I want to be alone the rest of my life? no but I don't spend my days, hours and seconds searching for someone to "save" me from being alone. I love where I'm at in life, love the woman I am. I wouldn't have any other way.


    substituting woman for man i totally agree.... :D
  • PatrickBatemanPatrickBateman Posts: 2,243
    Whizbang wrote:
    I personally would rather be alone than wish I was. I very much love being single and being alone. I have a great group of friends with whom I have lots of laughs and good times. My family is some of closest friends. Do I date? yup. I like meeting new people and sharing laughs but I haven't wanted to deal with the compromise that comes with relationships. Is it boring at home alone sometimes? sure but I'm not lonely. I do love to go out by myself or with friends. Do I want to be alone the rest of my life? no but I don't spend my days, hours and seconds searching for someone to "save" me from being alone. I love where I'm at in life, love the woman I am. I wouldn't have any other way.
    My problems stem from her not liking ANYONE on my side of the family. (her sisters are the same way). I have shunned some of my family for my wife and it isn't enough.....
    If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • rockpantsrockpants BC Posts: 838
    It doesn't matter if I'm comfortable ... it's just the way things are. *shrug*
  • megatronmegatron Posts: 3,420
    Lizard wrote:
    when im alone i put on "in hiding" and cry in my whiskey
    it f'ing awesome!
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:


    wait. you were joking, right?
    :D
  • not at the moment :(
    I will be what i could be
    Once I get out of this town


    9/29/04;6/27/08;6/30/08;8/23/09;08/24/09;5/17/10
  • megatronmegatron Posts: 3,420
    overcast ocean
    ten redux blaring sportscenter on mute
    miller light and digourno scattered about
    haven't even cracked into the 3olive
    no one can stop me
    my comfort of loneliness knows no bounds
  • CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    The more I think on this and the more I live it... The more I see I HAVE been alone, he was a shell of a man the past few years of our marriage and it was almost as if he wasn't there at all. Nothing is different for me except knowing there is someone else in the house. I often think how I dealt with him leaving me and how it was easier to sleep during the day cause I could convince myself he was at work... Each thing I did alone I was able to do that. He worked so much and when he was home, like I said he was a shell of a man... It was like he wasn't there. He was a room mate in a sense, but much less. All we shared was a bed, and that was just the nights when he could sleep.

    Being alone has its problems...and at times I miss having someone. But for me it's no different then the last 4 years of my marriage... minus the snoring. This says more about my marriage then it does about being alone.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
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