are you comfortable being alone?

CHANGEinWAVES

I think it's time I come to terms with this. I've been fighting it for years (I'm an only child and have always hated it). Since the fail of my marriage and other relationships I feel the need to accept myself and the possibility that I may just be alone in my life.

I think a road trip alone in the future might do the trick.


Has anyone traveled alone or been able to come out of a shell and accept being alone?

Thorns2010

You know, this is something I've thought about a lot lately.

For the most part I enjoy being alone, most nights I just hang out at home by myself. I suppose it stems from the fact that growing up I felt like a bit of an outcast in school. I never went to any parties in high school or anything like that.

So I got used to hanging out with myself and enjoying that. People annoy me! While yes I can be a social person and am not shy to talk to new people when I go out or to parties, at the end of the day I'd much rather be by myself.

And the thing is, lately I'm beginning to think I'll always be alone, AKA not get married or anything like that. In all honesty I haven't had a significant relationship in 4 years and aside from the fact that I want (or at least think I want) kids, I'm ok with the fact that its been so long.

I can do what I want when I want, go on trips whenever I choose, and don't have to deal with any 'relationship' issues.

Nothingman54

When I was alone I loved it. I never hated being alone.

Travelar

I am indeed comfortable. I picked up and moved here 5 years ago and left everything behind. I haven't had any long lasting relationships since I've been here. While it took some time getting used to being alone, I've grown quite comfortable with it. I grew up an only child and often had to find ways to amuse myself and this isn't much different.

Weekdays are pretty hectic as is it is and by the time I commute and get home and have dinner, it's time to start winding down anyways. I do sometimes miss that special someone on the weekends, especially when I feel like road tripping it or heading to a random show.

I would like to have children, but I look at how miserable people are in their relationships. Most of my good friends are divorced or miserable in their current relationships. That is something that I do enjoy not dealing with.

Overall, I enjoy the freedom and if I want to pick up and go, I do.

Cinnamon Girl

I LOVE being alone....probably more than I should. When you have kids it's so nice to just be able to decide where, when, how, etc. and not have to answer to anyone.

I travel alone sometimes...it's a nice feeling. I highly recommend it!

milarso

I'm the kind of person that is really happy either alone or with friends. I love people, but there are some days that I look forward to coming home and having my place all to myself. I think there is a lot to be said for being able to be completely satisfied in enjoying your own company.

pretext

I love it in that I get to be uncompromising. My work is almost all socialization and working with the needs of others. I love that too, because it's action and what I believe in. But it also takes a tremendous amount of energy and letting go of the self. I need to be alone to recharge. So I do whatever, whenever. If I want to sit in the house and watch hockey for twelve hours on a Saturday, than that's what I'll do. Doesn't mean I don't see my friends, but I do it on terms that allow me (and hopefully them) to enjoy the experience. Maybe it's all born out of my own relational issues, and maybe I'll change some day. But for now, I wouldn't have it any other way.

patrickredeyes

I'm happy with being alone it works for me right now. I would like to have family someday. But not now.

_

For the most part, I LOVE being alone. I love living alone and I love not being in a relationship. I love not havinng to answer to anyone else (except at work). I love being able to do what I want when I want to do it. And I really love having peace and quiet when I want it. I also don't mind doing most things alone, like going out to eat or to the movies, or going downtown.

Then again, I have a lot of friends and some family in town, so there are plenty of opportunities to be sociable without having to meet new people. (I'm kind of shy.) I don't think I would feel as comforable picking up and moving to a different state or country by myself if I didn't know anyone there. It's nice to have social capital when it's needed (e.g. someone to house sit if I go out of town, or someone to pick my up if my car breaks down). I also think I would be more inspired to do some things I want to do in life - like travel - if I had someone to do them with. As a woman, I don't feel as comfortable traveling completely alone.

And then there are times when I just like to have someone with me. For instance, the other day I had to walk across campus to get lunch and I had someone walk with me. It's just less boring that way. I attribute that kind of thing to having a twin sister, so I was pretty much never alone when I was growing up. I always had her around for moral support. (Not that I need moral support to walk to the cafeteria.)

Now that I think about it, I think I can attribute the times I feel like having someone around to having a twin, and the times I feel like being alone to having had boyfriends. Overall, though, I'm really happy being alone. In a way, when someone is alone in life they are able to choose whether to spend their time alone or with someone else, but when you have a partner or kid or roommmate they're generally ALWAYS there and you don't have the option to be alone whenever you want to be, ya know?

FinsburyParkCarrots

I love being alone, and need solitude to write and be creative, but I enjoy socialising and gigging and meeting lots of new people. I suppose that makes me fairly well-balanced.

the wolf

i'm comfortable being alone in the sense that i like having the house to myself from time to time.

as far as relationships go, i'm not a big fan of being "alone".

LONGRD

I like it at times but I also hate it too. Loneliness can be the worst feeling in the world.
And sometimes it's good to know you're not the only one feeling that way.

CHANGEinWAVES

the wolf wrote:

i'm comfortable being alone in the sense that i like having the house to myself from time to time.

as far as relationships go, i'm not a big fan of being "alone".

I knew you'd understand my feelings on this.

Music For Rhinos

I am pretty much a lone wolf.

I live with my dad and pets and see people a lot at both of my 2 jobs...plus hang out with friends sometimes but I quit drinking, smoking cigs and doing drugs so my social life has significantly decreased, don't do the bar scene anymore or go out much...

For the most part I am basically a loner...think I would like to have someone to be with, but at the same time I'm not desperate for it. I enjoy having the place to myself and doing whatever.

iamsam_pj

i've never been one for constantly being surrounded by people...i prefer the company of a small group of friends. but...i enjoy being by myself and have lived by myself for the past year and a half. i think if anything i just miss my friends in orlando...even though it's a quick hour drive over there!

it's always been a personal goal of mine to move someplace where i didn't know anyone and see if i could make it. i can be a bit shy at times, so i think this will be good to help me to break out of my shell a bit more! hopefully my move to seattle will be a success

Jeremys Spoken

Im 50/50 I love waking up on a Saturday and the house is empty. I also love being with my friends.

BlackThirteen

It's odd; for the most part I really like being alone. But then there are times when I get these weird fits where I feel like shit that I'm alone.

Thoughts_Arrive

Yes I enjoy it.
But I sometimes wish I was with friends hanging out.
Not really a fan of going places, prefer something relaxed.

ZiggyStar

I'm never ever alone. I can go a whole week where I don't spend a single hour by myself. My bf and I work together, live together, play together....ALWAYS together. Not that I'm complaining -- but sometimes it would be cool to have some more me time.

South of Seattle

ZiggyStar wrote:

I'm never ever alone. I can go a whole week where I don't spend a single hour by myself. My bf and I work together, live together, play together....ALWAYS together. Not that I'm complaining -- but sometimes it would be cool to have some more me time.

That's why you're here now right? Don't want to be alone . . . over there

ZiggyStar

South of Seattle wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

I'm never ever alone. I can go a whole week where I don't spend a single hour by myself. My bf and I work together, live together, play together....ALWAYS together. Not that I'm complaining -- but sometimes it would be cool to have some more me time.

That's why you're here now right? Don't want to be alone . . . over there

Correct!

South of Seattle

ZiggyStar wrote:

South of Seattle wrote:

ZiggyStar wrote:

I'm never ever alone. I can go a whole week where I don't spend a single hour by myself. My bf and I work together, live together, play together....ALWAYS together. Not that I'm complaining -- but sometimes it would be cool to have some more me time.

That's why you're here now right? Don't want to be alone . . . over there

Correct!

It was pretty dead there tonight huh.

ZiggyStar

South of Seattle wrote:

It was pretty dead there tonight huh.

Shhhhh!!! No, it wasn't too bad....I just remembered again this place was here!

Man...that laughing smilie freaks me out.....EVIL!!!!

decides2dream

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

I love being alone, and need solitude to write and be creative, but I enjoy socialising and gigging and meeting lots of new people. I suppose that makes me fairly well-balanced.

agreed!
i LOVE my alone time....and i LOVE my together time too!
perhaps b/c we are child-free, we don't seem to have any issues being alone when we want to be and being together when we want to be. sure, there are some things in life that leave little choice, but overall....we both manage our time as WE want, and it really doesn't require many compromises for either of us to 'get our way' regarding being alone, or together. being part of a couple should not really change that. hell, i lived abroad, on my own, for 6 weeks....and hubby was at home. we both have traveled solo, and you betcha do a LOT of things alone, with friends on our own, and yes....are together when we want to be. so yes, i am VERY comfortable being alone, but i am also very HAPPY i have a partner too. balance is key.

Drowned Out

I had a conversation about this just last night...
I've been single almost three years (after splitting from a 9 yr relationship/marriage).
feels like I'm destined to be alone, and so far I'm ok with that. I haven't met anyone that I've felt was the total package yet....and I refuse to compromise. I would rather be alone than get involved with the wrong person again. After my divorce, more than once I found myself getting involved with people with whom I had doubts about relationship potential from the start....even with honesty about intentions, it still ends with awkward conversations, guilt and hurt. Not worth the hassle just to get laid or have someone to watch movies with. So....until I meet Mrs.Right, i will be alone...this realization has changed my views on casual sex, which sure takes a lot of the fun out of being single :(

Thorns2010

Drowned Out wrote:

I had a conversation about this just last night...
I've been single almost three years (after splitting from a 9 yr relationship/marriage).
feels like I'm destined to be alone, and so far I'm ok with that. I haven't met anyone that I've felt was the total package yet....and I refuse to compromise. I would rather be alone than get involved with the wrong person again. After my divorce, more than once I found myself getting involved with people with whom I had doubts about relationship potential from the start....even with honesty about intentions, it still ends with awkward conversations, guilt and hurt. Not worth the hassle just to get laid or have someone to watch movies with. So....until I meet Mrs.Right, i will be alone...this realization has changed my views on casual sex, which sure takes a lot of the fun out of being single :(

I hear that! I'm at the point of being sick with the whole deal, and would like to think the next woman I sleep with will be the one I marry.

But I wouldn't bet on it. :(

comebackgirl

I cherish my alone time. I need it to recharge. Being around too many people for too long drains the life right out of me.

dcfaithful

I actually have always found a type of solitude from being alone. I've always been a private person in addition to that, and a bit more of an observer than an entertainer in public...unless I'm with good friends and/or have been drinking of course :roll:

I have a huge group of acquaintances, and a handful of very close friends...that's all I ever need, aside from family...but I prefer to chill @ home w/ my girl and my dog...

The previous statement probably answers my take on relationships...I enjoyed being alone, care-free and single while I was in high-school...but once I got out, I didn't really have any interest in seeing how many new people I can meet, or searching for the right person...I found the right person when I was 18 and I haven't let her go since. We've been together for over 2 years now and I don't feel like I've done anything I regret, and I definitely don't feel like I'm miserable and dying to get out of the relationship and go meet new people. I get my alone time when I need it...I just have to say "hey, I'm going out for a bit"

Drowned Out

Thorns2010 wrote:

I hear that! I'm at the point of being sick with the whole deal, and would like to think the next woman I sleep with will be the one I marry.

But I wouldn't bet on it. :(

that's an easy non-bet for me....I'm NEVER getting fucking married again

(disclaimer - never say never...don't want to jinx myself )

_

Drowned Out wrote:

I had a conversation about this just last night...
I've been single almost three years (after splitting from a 9 yr relationship/marriage).
feels like I'm destined to be alone, and so far I'm ok with that. I haven't met anyone that I've felt was the total package yet....and I refuse to compromise. I would rather be alone than get involved with the wrong person again. After my divorce, more than once I found myself getting involved with people with whom I had doubts about relationship potential from the start....even with honesty about intentions, it still ends with awkward conversations, guilt and hurt. Not worth the hassle just to get laid or have someone to watch movies with. So....until I meet Mrs.Right, i will be alone...this realization has changed my views on casual sex, which sure takes a lot of the fun out of being single :(

Amen!

_

dcfaithful wrote:

I actually have always found a type of solitude from being alone.