Girlfriend parents don't want her to see me as i am not south asian

13

Comments

  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    fanch75 wrote:
    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls
    Should have seen that one coming!!!
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    Thecure wrote:
    i have not thought abotu getting married yet. i can see us getting to that point but not anymore. i am trying to find a balance way to resolve this issue. i don't want her to be harmed but what happens if her family picks some loser for her, will that be harmful also?
    it will certainly be harmful... i dont have beef with very many racial/religious groups... but indian/hindi is certainly one i have problems with... just dont care for their social heirarchy... i think it causes many abusive and/or loveless relationships... in addition to that i dont care for their fashion sense, food, country, how they tip at restaurants, conservative values, etc... thats my inner racist... ive tried in the past and ive known many indians... not something im proud of

    they are very stubborn though... the best thing for both you and her is to just walk away from this and retain a friendship... maybe friends with benefits ;)

    sorry youre in this situation
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    fanch75 wrote:
    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls
    good ole' fanch!
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    fanch75 wrote:
    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls

    that is very funny. but i don't consider myself white as my dad was from south america and my mom was from portugal and i was born in portugal. and usually i don't find asian women to be sexy. way to skinny for me. i like meat on a women.
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    sgossard3 wrote:
    it will certainly be harmful... i dont have beef with very many racial/religious groups... but indian/hindi is certainly one i have problems with... just dont care for their social heirarchy... i think it causes many abusive and/or loveless relationships... in addition to that i dont care for their fashion sense, food, country, how they tip at restaurants, conservative values, etc... thats my inner racist... ive tried in the past and ive known many indians... not something im proud of

    they are very stubborn though... the best thing for both you and her is to just walk away from this and retain a friendship... maybe friends with benefits ;)

    sorry youre in this situation

    Oh man. I went to an Indian restaurant a few weeks ago, and I was nice to the Indian gal who was my waitress/hostess (as I always am - I worked food service for six years - my best education ever). Her father (I presume) glared at me with death in his eyes. It was frightening. Hey man, all I did was say "thank you" with a genuine smile!

    The food, however, was AWESOME.

    My PC disclaimer - This is not directed at any race as a whole, just a response to the guy's post above.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    Thecure wrote:
    that is very funny. but i don't consider myself white as my dad was from south america and my mom was from portugal and i was born in portugal.

    Even worse! You are practically "black" to her family then, probably. As the blog states, you may give a heart attack to her Asian grandmother back home.
    Thecure wrote:
    and usually i don't find asian women to be sexy. way to skinny for me. i like meat on a women.

    I heard that, playa! :thumbs up:
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    fanch75 wrote:
    Oh man. I went to an Indian restaurant a few weeks ago, and I was nice to the Indian gal who was my waitress/hostess (as I always am - I worked food service for six years - my best education ever). Her father (I presume) glared at me with death in his eyes. It was frightening. Hey man, all I did was say "thank you" with a genuine smile!

    The food, however, was AWESOME.

    My PC disclaimer - This is not directed at any race as a whole, just a response to the guy's post above.

    That Fanch, always going overboard with the PC disclaimers and invites to ACLU meetings...
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  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    Time to brush up on your Hindu!

    Do you really want to have him as a father in law anyways?

    i know quiet abit abotu Hindu, when i talked to her about convertion she said that this is not accepted. what kind of religion does not allwo peopel to convert to them so that they can date a girl. i don't want him to be a father-in-law, but i want his daughter.(not in the object way)
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • stickboy
    stickboy Posts: 2,981
    you just got shooled by Fanch

    :)
    Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
    Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
    Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
    ************************************
  • PureandEasy
    PureandEasy Posts: 5,818
    unfortunately, my nephew and his girlfriend are going through the exact same thing. She is a lovely, very intelligent Chinese girl and he is about as caucasion as they come. They both go to a great college, are excellent students and have very bright futures ahead of them.

    Unfortunately, if they are to marry, her family will disown her. There will be no exception.

    Her father will never accept my nephew. She and her father already butt heads constantly because he is upset with how "Americanized" she has become. In the Chinese culture, daughters are to do what the father says and if not, it is considered a great disrespect.

    I think it's sad really.
    Don't come closer or I'll have to go
  • roar
    roar Posts: 1,116
    i couldn't be with someone (for the long haul) if his family didn't accept me. it would hurt too much.
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    Thecure wrote:
    i know quiet abit abotu Hindu, when i talked to her about convertion she said that this is not accepted. what kind of religion does not allwo peopel to convert to them so that they can date a girl. i don't want him to be a father-in-law, but i want his daughter.(not in the object way)
    thats what im talking about! ive never met a group of people so cold and uninviting... not to mention so resistant to change and unforgiving to people different than them...

    i should take back what i said before about it being a matter of race... if white people acted the way that the majority of hindu people do i would dislike them to... its entirely about behavior... though im sorry to generalize as i did
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    PureandEasy wrote:
    unfortunately, my nephew and his girlfriend are going through the exact same thing. She is a lovely, very intelligent Chinese girl and he is about as caucasion as they come. They both go to a great college, are excellent students and have very bright futures ahead of them.

    Unfortunately, if they are to marry, her family will disown her. There will be no exception.

    Her father will never accept my nephew. She and her father already butt heads constantly because he is upset with how "Americanized" she has become. In the Chinese culture, daughters are to do what the father says and if not, it is considered a great disrespect.

    I think it's sad really.

    Your nephew should call up her father and ask, "Is it still five dolla?"
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • Get_Right
    Get_Right Posts: 14,168
    fanch75 wrote:
    Your nephew should call up her father and ask, "Is it still five dolla?"


    that was funny.
    A bit racist
    but funny
  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    roar wrote:
    i couldn't be with someone (for the long haul) if his family didn't accept me. it would hurt too much.

    i understand that, but why would you care? i know i am not married but is it completely wrong that you marry the person you love and if the family doesn't like you then screw them. am i being to rational?
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • Get_Right
    Get_Right Posts: 14,168
    Thecure wrote:
    i understand that, but why would you care? i know i am not married but is it completely wrong that you marry the person you love and if the family doesn't like you then screw them. am i being to rational?
    too rational no

    but perhaps you underestimate the influence and emotional effects of family and culture on some people
  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    Get_Right wrote:
    too rational no

    but perhaps you underestimate the influence and emotional effects of family and culture on some people

    i don't know if i will ever understand what people will accept. i love my family but i woudl not stop dating someone becuase they don't like that person background. if my family tells me that they saw my girlfriend kissing someother guy then i will listen to them.
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • Get_Right
    Get_Right Posts: 14,168
    Thecure wrote:
    i don't know if i will ever understand what people will accept. i love my family but i woudl not stop dating someone becuase they don't like that person background. if my family tells me that they saw my girlfriend kissing someother guy then i will listen to them.


    well western cultures are much more flexible to varying backgrounds because the west is a giant melting pot of many cultures-except for some jewish grandmas that is :)

    not as true in the east-deep rooted traditions and beliefs that go way way back-some have been more quick to adopt modern life and the intermingling of cultures, some, such as in your case, have resisted change.

    No easy answers.
  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    Get_Right wrote:
    well western cultures are much more flexible to varying backgrounds because the west is a giant melting pot of many cultures-except for some jewish grandmas that is :)

    not as true in the east-deep rooted traditions and beliefs that go way way back-some have been more quick to adopt modern life and the intermingling of cultures, some, such as in your case, have resisted change.

    No easy answers.

    what i don't understand is that she works at an AIDS service organization like me. the people we work with are not very tradional but the family has no problem with her working there.
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • Get_Right
    Get_Right Posts: 14,168
    Thecure wrote:
    what i don't understand is that she works at an AIDS service organization like me. the people we work with are not very tradional but the family has no problem with her working there.

    that has absolutely nothing to do with it. thats work, not family.
    that you share similar ideals, or enjoying helping others does not translate into " i am going to ignore my family's wishes"

    and the otherside, although this may be harsh, is she is not willing to do it for you. at least now anyway. And to me 8 months is not a long time.

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