Girlfriend parents don't want her to see me as i am not south asian

24

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  • stickboy
    stickboy Posts: 2,981
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    then that's how it's gonna be. sorry to sound cavalier about it, but that's how the father is going to have it. be a friend to her, but you'll never have the blessing of the father to be anything else.
    thats the thing that kills...knowing the parents will never give you their blessing despite seeing how good the guy treats her


    THEN the girl winds up marrying some prick like the father who prolly never makes the girl happy

    cause of tradition and bullshit

    so gay
    Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
    Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
    Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
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  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    gabers wrote:
    Out of curiosity what is your ethnicity?

    In Houston we have a large south Asian community and I've noticed how rarely they marry or even date outside of their culture. And might I say some of these girls are drop dead gorgeous. If I were young and single it would sure be worth a shot at dating some of these girls.

    i am originally from portugal but i have lived in canada for 29 years.
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • Coming back to life
    Coming back to life Posts: 401
    Let him disown her. He shouldn't kill her if he's Hindu and not...
    A restaurant with a smoking section is like a swimming pool with a pissing section
  • Get_Right
    Get_Right Posts: 14,168
    all you can do is tell her how you feel and offer to support whatever decision she makes

    but from what I understand, hindu parents are very strict about this-to the point of violence.

    as someone who is married to an asian woman, mixed marriages are tough even with family support.
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    unless you plan on marrying this girl, and i didnt see anything in your post to indicate its *that* serious, i dont suggest you break up her family... i wouldnt recommend you marry anyway as you wouldnt have much of a family support system and you seem to have different backgrounds and mindsets that would be conflicting and difficult to work with... the whole opposites attracts thing is true to an extent but tends to fail in the long term when as extreme as youre talking... it sucks that there are still cultures so stubborn in their "tradition" to allow their children to marry whomever they choose, but thats how it is and you shouldnt interfer... hopefully theyll come around eventually... afterall it wasnt long ago that arranged marraige was common and they could set their wives on fire for adultery...
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

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  • Rhinocerous Surprise
    Rhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    And I thought I had it bad - my gf's afraid to tell her parents that I'm an atheist, and she struggles with it herself sometimes. My general advice is that if she's not willing at 29 to break from her father traditionalist values, then you'd probably be better off making a clean start with someone else.
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • PearlJamaholic
    PearlJamaholic Posts: 2,019
    why do people over look the obvious answer? kick him in the nards. end of story.
    http://db.etree.org/PearlJamaholic
  • Rygar
    Rygar Posts: 8,711
    PearlJamaholic wrote:
    why do people over look the obvious answer? kick him in the nards. end of story.
    Terrible advice. The wolfman doesn't have nards.
  • Cree Nations
    Cree Nations Posts: 2,247
    thats crazy but not unheard of. Hindu families and their religion is very strict and marrying outside the family is a no-no. Girls are even killed for having done so. This is crazy but follow your heart.
    >>>>
    >
    ...a lover and a fighter.
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  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    Ledbetterman10 wrote:
    The Chinaman is not the issue here Dude!

    i don't know what this means. can you please explain?
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    Thecure wrote:
    hello all, i have been dating my girlfriend for a while.

    I am curious as to just how long that is.............
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    Lizard wrote:
    I am curious as to just how long that is.............

    8 months, is that considered awhile? for me it is since most of my relationships end after 2 months.
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • Kilgore_Trout
    Kilgore_Trout Posts: 7,334
    Lizard wrote:
    I am curious as to just how long that is.............
    yah... kindof an important detail... everyones saying shit like "follow your heart" but unless theyve been dating for months and plan to get married and start their own life together itd be wrong to interfer with the wishes of her family... especially if it puts her in harms way and even though hindu tradition is BS
    "Senza speme vivemo in disio"

    http://seanbriceart.com/
  • Lizard
    Lizard So Cal Posts: 12,091
    Thecure wrote:
    8 months, is that considered awhile? for me it is since most of my relationships end after 2 months.

    I think that is a while..........

    kinda got distracted here by a little earthquake!!
    So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
    Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    Thecure wrote:
    i don't know what this means. can you please explain?
    The Big Lewbozski(spell check)....90's cult classic film. ;)
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  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Thecure wrote:
    i don't know what this means. can you please explain?

    Go watch The Big Lebowski

    And Chinaman isn't the preferred nomenclature...
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  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    CityMouse wrote:
    what he's describing is pretty common among many ethnic groups in this country actually. there was a large south east asian population at my high school (cambodian, vietnamese, laosian,etc) and many, many, of these girls were married off in an arranged marriage the day they turned 18. In jr high this girl I knew would have people drop her off down the street if she got a ride home from white people because her grandmother would freak out. I had a friend when I was like college age who was syrian and her parents hated that she went to college (had to live at home and commute of course) rather than get married off at 18 like her sisters. She was not allowed to go near any guy who wasn't syrian. last time I saw her she had a nonsyrian boyfriend she hadn't told her parents about...I wonder how that turned out.
    This statement is very true, that's way most of my relatives hate me, because I'm just too American. They're still pissed off that I forgot my own language for God sakes.
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  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    sgossard3 wrote:
    yah... kindof an important detail... everyones saying shit like "follow your heart" but unless theyve been dating for months and plan to get married and start their own life together itd be wrong to interfer with the wishes of her family... especially if it puts her in harms way and even though hindu tradition is BS

    i have not thought abotu getting married yet. i can see us getting to that point but not anymore. i am trying to find a balance way to resolve this issue. i don't want her to be harmed but what happens if her family picks some loser for her, will that be harmful also?
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • Thecure
    Thecure Posts: 814
    eyedclaar wrote:
    Go watch The Big Lebowski

    And Chinaman isn't the preferred nomenclature...

    sorry i don't really watch movies. for a second i thought that this was the moving train and we were going to get into a debate about american politics. sorry!
    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
    - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

    If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
    - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
  • fanch75
    fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls
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