people over like say 24...

GreenTeaDisease · May 2008

Do you still get crushes?

the 'girl problems' thread reminded me of all the crushes I had back in college. You know that feeling, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's an acquaintance, maybe it's someone you just see around...your heart stops beating or starts beating really fast, whenever you talk to them you sound like an idiot and your leg twitches...

I haven't had these feelings for 9 years. I haven't felt anything like this toward guys I've dated throughout my 20s. Are people capable of feeling like this past a certain age, or is it really a youth thing? even in grad school, where it was more like college and there were a lot of people around to "choose" from, I didn't really get like this. there was one guy I sort of did, but I gave up on him pretty quickly and got over it faster than I ever would have 8 years ago. What's the deal?

Linda · May 2008

hell i do.....

urbanhippie · May 2008

I have a crush on my b/f

:D

decides2dream · May 2008

i'll be turning 40 this year, and i absolutely still get crushes.

and hell yes, i am happily married and so in love ith my husband, and yet...still get crushes. to me, crushes are perfectly normal and healthy at ANY age, or any degree of single/commited....merely dictates if you act on them or not.

Solat13 · May 2008

Yep, and I still act like an idiot around them or are too shy to say anything ... lol.

NY PJ1 · May 2008

Nahhhhhhhhhh

Linda · May 2008

NY PJ1 wrote:

Nahhhhhhhhhh

nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh???????

right....:D

Sian-of-the-dead · May 2008

I'm 24 and I had a HUGE crush on a friend of mine... now he's my boyfriend and the crush hasn't stopped

I think it's perfectly normally and healthy to get crushes whatever your age. It's just lust. EVEN the incessant talking about the person and weird mannerisms when in their presence is normal as you get older. It's just part of the process.
Why shouldn't it be considered a crush? You still fancy them like you would if you were 17, so in my eyes, you're having a crush

Linda · May 2008

chiefojibwa wrote:

yes, people over your arbitrary age of 24 still have feelings and are still human.

gd right we are!!!!!

GreenTeaDisease · May 2008

ok, there is something definitely wrong with me then!

I don't get it, I USED to feel it, there was one guy in college I literally would have done anything for, I was convinced he was 100% perfect for me. I thought about him ALL the time. and there were others that were close to that. but it was like I graduated from college and poof, no one does anything for me. And for the past 6th months or so, I have ZERO interest in men at all, it's like I don't even care that they exist. this current situation is definitely the most extreme it's been, but I just figured that past a certain age, it's all just about procreating, and if you don't want to procreate it's your natural inclination to just not be interested.

there was this one guy in another program at my university I went to for grad school...I thought he was cute, and one day he said something that totally made me think he was into me. after that I felt kinda crushy- I kept putting on makeup before that class and trying to come up with excuses to talk to him...but once I found out that I probably read into it wrong, I just dropped it, had no interest at all.

foxymop_stupidmop · May 2008

I get crushes all the time. All the time. It's kind of embarrassing. I wish I didn't. My crushes go unrequited and last for years, possibly forever.

It's a curse.

Nothing beats the feeling, though. Quite a rush.

GraySaturday · May 2008

I'm 24 and 1/2 so I can play

I totally think people can get crushes at any age! Hell my mom has a new crush all the time

It'll happen when you find someone of interest. Maybe you're just not surrounded by the types of people that interest you so you're less likely to feel that spark.

decides2dream · May 2008

i think you just think too much.

and this is coming from someone who 'thinks too much'....although i've gotten better at it.

i don't think there's anything *wrong* with not having crushes, and i also thought you've mentioned a lot of this you think is tied into your meds, etc......so finding your *life balance* overall, will probably do wonders for you, overall, on all fronts.

i'd say it's a lot healthier for you to stop thinking in the attitude of right and wrong all the time. everyone is different.

Linda · May 2008

ok.....

will you please, please, PLEASE stop saying that there is something wrong with you!!!!

just go with the flow and live a little, woman!!!!!

eyedclaar · May 2008

I fall in lust several times every day. However, I blame the hot women for being so hot.

Heineken Helen · May 2008

GraySaturday wrote:

I'm 24 and 1/2 so I can play

I totally think people can get crushes at any age! Hell my mom has a new crush all the time

It'll happen when you find someone of interest. Maybe you're just not surrounded by the types of people that interest you so you're less likely to feel that spark.

exactly... you don't HAVE to have one at all times... you might forget about crushes for years and then suddenly someone comes along and you're a retarded schoolgirl again :rolleyes:

Although I used to be capable of MAKING myself have a crush on someone... cos it's a fab feeling

GreenTeaDisease · May 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

Although I used to be capable of MAKING myself have a crush on someone... cos it's a fab feeling

I think that's what I did with that guy from class. I mean don't get me wrong, he had awesome hair, glasses, a really defined back, a hot accent, and was SUPER smart, but I think I kinda talked myself into him.

_Crazy_Mary_ · May 2008

decides2dream wrote:

i'll be turning 40 this year, and i absolutely still get crushes. and hell yes, i am happily married and so in love ith my husband, and yet...still get crushes. to me, crushes are perfectly normal and healthy at ANY age, or any degree of single/commited....merely dictates if you act on them or not.

I have to say I completely agree with you. I love having crushes and it's flattering when someone has a crush on me. I just have to be a good girl and not act on my crush.

GreenTeaDisease · May 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

exactly... you don't HAVE to have one at all times... you might forget about crushes for years and then suddenly someone comes along and you're a retarded schoolgirl again :rolleyes:

for 9 years?

mariposa · May 2008

I still do get crushes...but I don't know...I find that it's not the same anymore or it doesn't have the same effect or rush on me. I guess I just "mellowed" out?

decides2dream · May 2008

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

I have to say I completely agree with you. I love having crushes and it's flattering when someone has a crush on me. I just have to be a good girl and not act on my crush.

exactly!
it's fun and awesome....and hell, may even add a bit more *spark* with your companion too!

Heineken Helen · May 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

for 9 years?

Maybe longer! What difference does it make once it's in years... there are people here WAY older than you. You've made yourself have a crush before... go do it again.

harmless_little_f*** · May 2008

urbanhippie wrote:

I have a crush on my b/f :D

I

this woman

GreenTeaDisease · May 2008

decides2dream wrote:

i think you just think too much.

and this is coming from someone who 'thinks too much'....although i've gotten better at it.

i don't think there's anything *wrong* with not having crushes, and i also thought you've mentioned a lot of this you think is tied into your meds, etc......so finding your *life balance* overall, will probably do wonders for you, overall, on all fronts.

i'd say it's a lot healthier for you to stop thinking in the attitude of right and wrong all the time. everyone is different.

I do worry that it is at least partially my meds...but then I wonder if they are ruining my life by doing this?

I think I think of it as an age thing because no one I know in a relationship now seems to have had these feelings for their sig others, even when they first met. I feel like people are just like "ok, he's cute, he has a job, he seems interested, might as well." these same people have had actual crushes when they were younger.

Also, I think that when you are older, you're not around the same people everyday, you don't have enough time to *like* someone. when you date, you usually start dating the person first, and then get to know them in the process, rather than building someone up over time. you know when you're younger, in college or whatever, it's like you know someone in whatever capacity, and then one day you're looking at them and you realize dear lord this person is perfect.

Heineken Helen · May 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I do worry that it is at least partially my meds...but then I wonder if they are ruining my life by doing this?

I think I think of it as an age thing because no one I know in a relationship now seems to have had these feelings for their sig others, even when they first met. I feel like people are just like "ok, he's cute, he has a job, he seems interested, might as well." these same people have had actual crushes when they were younger.

Also, I think that when you are older, you're not around the same people everyday, you don't have enough time to *like* someone. when you date, you usually start dating the person first, and then get to know them in the process, rather than building someone up over time. you know when you're younger, in college or whatever, it's like you know someone in whatever capacity, and then one day you're looking at them and you realize dear lord this person is perfect.

ALL wrong!

comebackwoman · May 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I do worry that it is at least partially my meds...but then I wonder if they are ruining my life by doing this?

I think I think of it as an age thing because no one I know in a relationship now seems to have had these feelings for their sig others, even when they first met. I feel like people are just like "ok, he's cute, he has a job, he seems interested, might as well." these same people have had actual crushes when they were younger.

Also, I think that when you are older, you're not around the same people everyday, you don't have enough time to *like* someone. when you date, you usually start dating the person first, and then get to know them in the process, rather than building someone up over time. you know when you're younger, in college or whatever, it's like you know someone in whatever capacity, and then one day you're looking at them and you realize dear lord this person is perfect.

My long term relationships all started as crushes...then turned to...relationships

I do still get crushes...like my crush on Eddie for example

and btw - I don't wanna procreate

GreenTeaDisease · May 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

ALL wrong!

what do you mean? I was just noting my observations-the observations that led me to believe it has to do with age. how can just noting my observations be "all wrong"?

GraySaturday · May 2008

**Disclaimer..** I totally don't mean to insult you in saying this...

However....

There are some meds that really have a sort of asexual side effect to them. There is some birthcontrol out there that works pretty damn well as birthcontrol because it really makes you attracted to NOTHING AT ALL. When I took the pill I was like, don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even think about me! I was really not into anything sexual at all when I took the pill. Something to consider atleast.

Also, I know my aunt had horrible side effects from anti-depressants. I've never taken them, so I can't speak first hand, but if you take them, you might want to track when your feelings of non-attraction began, and maybe you'll see a link so some medication you've been taken.

Drugs can really mess with your hormones and your mind..

GreenTeaDisease · May 2008

comebackgirl wrote:

My long term relationships all started as crushes...then turned to...relationships

damn you are one of the lucky ones.

it's never like that for me and my friends. you get set up on a date or meet someone somewhere or find someone on match.com and someone asks the other out and there you are.

as an adult, where do you come upon people to have crushes on?

urbanhippie · May 2008

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

damn you are one of the lucky ones.

it's never like that for me and my friends. you get set up on a date or find someone on match.com and there you are.

as an adult, where do you come upon people to have crushes on?

I met my bf on here. You don't look for people, it just happens.
For me, it was when it was the last thing I was looking for...funny how that happens

Linda · May 2008

GraySaturday wrote:

**Disclaimer..** I totally don't mean to insult you in saying this...

However....

There are some meds that really have a sort of asexual side effect to them. There is some birthcontrol out there that works pretty damn well as birthcontrol because it really makes you attracted to NOTHING AT ALL. When I took the pill I was like, don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even think about me! I was really not into anything sexual at all when I took the pill. Something to consider atleast.

same here on the pill, couldnt care less about sex.......but i stopped taking it, so all is well!!!!!

people over like say 24...

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