my husband told me he no longer loves me...then he tells me has has been addicted to drugs for over 4 years (he's a pharmacist so he was very good at hiding it). We've been married for 6 years and together for 10. this is all so shocking as it is. He moved out 2 months ago so we could work on the relationship...and he has been clean for 1 month and attending NA meetings. Last week he decided he wants a divorce and he's done trying (which is sad because I thought we hadn't begun to work on our relationship because dealing with his addiction was top priority). He decides this 4 days before he starts rehab!! He started out-patient rehab...and now he asks me to attend the family sessions with him. I'm just in a constant fog now. :(
Hang in there, things will get better.
~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
U dunt kno me brutha, so dunt B provoking me lyk dat!
what i do know is the thread starter is creeped out bout your comments so just back away from her ok.
And he still gives his love, he just gives it away, The love he receives is the love that is saved, And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky, A human being that was given to fly
what i do know is the thread starter is creeped out bout your comments so just back away from her ok.
I will sacrifice myself for the well-being of the good people of Pearl Jam Pit.
Good Bye to all Pit posters. and to changeinWaves, may God be with you through harsh times. Peace and Love.
my husband told me he no longer loves me...then he tells me has has been addicted to drugs for over 4 years (he's a pharmacist so he was very good at hiding it). We've been married for 6 years and together for 10. this is all so shocking as it is. He moved out 2 months ago so we could work on the relationship...and he has been clean for 1 month and attending NA meetings. Last week he decided he wants a divorce and he's done trying (which is sad because I thought we hadn't begun to work on our relationship because dealing with his addiction was top priority). He decides this 4 days before he starts rehab!! He started out-patient rehab...and now he asks me to attend the family sessions with him. I'm just in a constant fog now. :(
yeah, its bad, i think he's confused, also he sees life with sober eyes these days. just tell him to fuck off, and hopefully he will return to you and start loving you. and if he doesn't oh well take it as your opportunity to have fun and be free again. think of it this way and you might deal with it better
my husband told me he no longer loves me...then he tells me has has been addicted to drugs for over 4 years (he's a pharmacist so he was very good at hiding it). We've been married for 6 years and together for 10. this is all so shocking as it is. He moved out 2 months ago so we could work on the relationship...and he has been clean for 1 month and attending NA meetings. Last week he decided he wants a divorce and he's done trying (which is sad because I thought we hadn't begun to work on our relationship because dealing with his addiction was top priority). He decides this 4 days before he starts rehab!! He started out-patient rehab...and now he asks me to attend the family sessions with him. I'm just in a constant fog now. :(
:eek:
wow!
your divorce thread got me curious, wondered what prompted it.....looked to see if there was anything you shared earlier, and here it is. yikes! don't know how i missed this!
dear gawd, what you must be feeling and going thru! :( i cannot even imagine. or i can a wee bit.....but still no where near to what it must REALLY be like for you! i am so sorry you are going through this.
i haven't read all the replies so it might've been said already, but none the less......firstly, take care of YOU. such an absolute shock, give yourself time. secondly, it sounds like your husband is going through a lot too! so who the hell knows what he truly wants.....so i'd say, give him time too to sort his own emotions. he may not want what he says he wants right now...later. of course, you too may decide in time you don't want it either. i don't know.....i just wish you the best through it all.
Those words are true, HIS LIFE IS FALLING APART.
But being married to this person, his life IS your life and as all this is going on you feel the world crumbling around you.
It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So much to say on this subject............
well it shouldn't be, because of this very thread. You can't connect your entire being and life and worth to another person because you can't control another person, and if they go down you're going right down with it. In the end we are all OURSELVES we aren't "we." marriage is a piece of paper, it is not stronger than the fact that people die or completely screw up or hurt you. in the end, even you have the best relationship in the world, we all die alone. you have to maintain your separate independence. HE screwed up; SHE has done nothing wrong.
yeah, its bad, i think he's confused, also he sees life with sober eyes these days. just tell him to fuck off, and hopefully he will return to you and start loving you. and if he doesn't oh well take it as your opportunity to have fun and be free again. think of it this way and you might deal with it better
wow!
your divorce thread got me curious, wondered what prompted it.....looked to see if there was anything you shared earlier, and here it is. yikes! don't know how i missed this!
dear gawd, what you must be feeling and going thru! :( i cannot even imagine. or i can a wee bit.....but still no where near to what it must REALLY be like for you! i am so sorry you are going through this.
i haven't read all the replies so it might've been said already, but none the less......firstly, take care of YOU. such an absolute shock, give yourself time. secondly, it sounds like your husband is going through a lot too! so who the hell knows what he truly wants.....so i'd say, give him time too to sort his own emotions. he may not want what he says he wants right now...later. of course, you too may decide in time you don't want it either. i don't know.....i just wish you the best through it all.
*hugs*
thanks...i appreciate the support
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
well it shouldn't be, because of this very thread. You can't connect your entire being and life and worth to another person because you can't control another person, and if they go down you're going right down with it. In the end we are all OURSELVES we aren't "we." marriage is a piece of paper, it is not stronger than the fact that people die or completely screw up or hurt you. in the end, even you have the best relationship in the world, we all die alone. you have to maintain your separate independence.
I'm sorry but I think you're wrong. Marriage is much, much more than a piece of paper. It's a commitment thats meant to be for life.
I'm going through a divorce myself at the moment but for the best part of 15 years my marriage WORKED.
It worked because we worked together, not controlling but making decisions together, because we lived our lives for each other and our family.
Ok, in the end it broke down beyond repair, but I don't see 15 years of mostly happy marriage and 4 children together as a failure, no matter what happens next.
If I ever decide to marry again I will make the same commitment. To be together FOR LIFE. To work together and to try my damndest to make things good for both of us.
I'm sorry but I think you're wrong. Marriage is much, much more than a piece of paper. It's a commitment thats meant to be for life.
I'm going through a divorce myself at the moment but for the best part of 15 years my marriage WORKED.
It worked because we worked together, not controlling but making decisions together, because we lived our lives for each other and our family.
Ok, in the end it broke down beyond repair, but I don't see 15 years of mostly happy marriage and 4 children together as a failure, no matter what happens next.
If I ever decide to marry again I will make the same commitment. To be together FOR LIFE. To work together and to try my damndest to make things good for both of us.
do you deny that one of you has to die first? or that that person *may* leave you for another reason?
do you deny that one of you has to die first? or that that person *may* leave you for another reason?
Yes they may. But so might I get knocked down by a bus on the way to the shop tomorrow. I'm not going to deny myself a chance of happiness and a life lived the way I want because of maybes.
i know we don't *know* each other all that well, but i've read many, many of your posts on this very board...and have always appreciated your words/perspective.
WHAT a life altering event you are going thru! so absolutely......you need an ear, i amongst many others i am sure.....are HERE.
if you are EVER in the NYC area....let me know. we'll do what's best in such situations:
drink copious amounts of alcohol.
I was married to an addict too. We ended up splitting up while she was in rehab. She had an affair in the rehab and things fell apart for good at that time.
The number one thing is to work on you. Get help for yourself, not for him. Chances are, you have codependent tendencies, as most people do, but especially those involved with addicts. You cannot control his actions or his emotions. You have to learn how to live for yourself. Lots of good advice here. Good luck.
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Comments
I got feelin' ya kno, and werdz lyk dat hurdz me. :(
I'mma man oph paschin ya kno.
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
no bed=no brian
coke sucks
Good Bye to all Pit posters. and to changeinWaves, may God be with you through harsh times. Peace and Love.
...everyone is wired to get thru them.
it's those who are steady and deal who end up most rewarded in the end.
much good luck your way.
yeah, its bad, i think he's confused, also he sees life with sober eyes these days. just tell him to fuck off, and hopefully he will return to you and start loving you. and if he doesn't oh well take it as your opportunity to have fun and be free again. think of it this way and you might deal with it better
:eek:
wow!
your divorce thread got me curious, wondered what prompted it.....looked to see if there was anything you shared earlier, and here it is.
dear gawd, what you must be feeling and going thru! :( i cannot even imagine. or i can a wee bit.....but still no where near to what it must REALLY be like for you! i am so sorry you are going through this.
i haven't read all the replies so it might've been said already, but none the less......firstly, take care of YOU. such an absolute shock, give yourself time. secondly, it sounds like your husband is going through a lot too! so who the hell knows what he truly wants.....so i'd say, give him time too to sort his own emotions. he may not want what he says he wants right now...later. of course, you too may decide in time you don't want it either. i don't know.....i just wish you the best through it all.
*hugs*
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
well it shouldn't be, because of this very thread. You can't connect your entire being and life and worth to another person because you can't control another person, and if they go down you're going right down with it. In the end we are all OURSELVES we aren't "we." marriage is a piece of paper, it is not stronger than the fact that people die or completely screw up or hurt you. in the end, even you have the best relationship in the world, we all die alone. you have to maintain your separate independence. HE screwed up; SHE has done nothing wrong.
I'm going through a divorce myself at the moment but for the best part of 15 years my marriage WORKED.
It worked because we worked together, not controlling but making decisions together, because we lived our lives for each other and our family.
Ok, in the end it broke down beyond repair, but I don't see 15 years of mostly happy marriage and 4 children together as a failure, no matter what happens next.
If I ever decide to marry again I will make the same commitment. To be together FOR LIFE. To work together and to try my damndest to make things good for both of us.
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
do you deny that one of you has to die first? or that that person *may* leave you for another reason?
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
you GOT IT.
truly.
i know we don't *know* each other all that well, but i've read many, many of your posts on this very board...and have always appreciated your words/perspective.
WHAT a life altering event you are going thru! so absolutely......you need an ear, i amongst many others i am sure.....are HERE.
if you are EVER in the NYC area....let me know. we'll do what's best in such situations:
drink copious amounts of alcohol.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
The number one thing is to work on you. Get help for yourself, not for him. Chances are, you have codependent tendencies, as most people do, but especially those involved with addicts. You cannot control his actions or his emotions. You have to learn how to live for yourself. Lots of good advice here. Good luck.