my life is falling apart...

CHANGEinWAVES
CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
edited May 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
my husband told me he no longer loves me...then he tells me has has been addicted to drugs for over 4 years (he's a pharmacist so he was very good at hiding it). We've been married for 6 years and together for 10. this is all so shocking as it is. He moved out 2 months ago so we could work on the relationship...and he has been clean for 1 month and attending NA meetings. Last week he decided he wants a divorce and he's done trying (which is sad because I thought we hadn't begun to work on our relationship because dealing with his addiction was top priority). He decides this 4 days before he starts rehab!! He started out-patient rehab...and now he asks me to attend the family sessions with him. I'm just in a constant fog now. :(
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
Post edited by Unknown User on
«134

Comments

  • wolfbear
    wolfbear Posts: 3,965
    Wow, so sorry. That's a lot to take in and deal with. :( I'd just say to give it and you and him some time to sort it all out. Try to stay positive and best wishes to you. :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • GraySaturday
    GraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    oh lord! I cannot imagine your pain. I'm so sorry. I hope whatever is truly best for you both, happens and you both find peace.

    Hugs for you. Stay strong.
  • Snake
    Snake Posts: 2,605
    Wow thats horrible. I wish there were something I could say, but no one can honestly say they know how you feel, cuz they probably dont.
    I really hope this will resolve in a good way for you. Even if it doesnt seem like it at first.
    Pirates had democracy too.

    "Its a secret to everybody."
  • Indian Summer
    Indian Summer Posts: 2,296
    I think you should attend the rehab thing with him. Maybe this could be the start of "fixing" your relationship. Don't give up on him yet. Best wishes.
    "It's all happening"
  • mca47
    mca47 Posts: 13,337
    I'm so sorry to hear that. I wish I had some advice for you but I wouldn't even know where to begin.
  • _Crazy_Mary_
    _Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    Wow. I feel bad for you. I'm sorry.
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    Indian Summer wrote:
    I think you should attend the rehab thing with him. Maybe this could be the start of "fixing" your relationship. Don't give up on him yet. Best wishes.

    Good advice. Hang in there.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • josevolution
    josevolution Posts: 31,818
    damm sorry to hear this i do hope evrything will get better for both you & him soon....
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • stylo17
    stylo17 Posts: 1,001
    Indian Summer wrote:
    I think you should attend the rehab thing with him. Maybe this could be the start of "fixing" your relationship. Don't give up on him yet. Best wishes.

    I think this is some good advice too. and he might start pushing you away as he progresses more into his rehab because it's gonna be a very frustrating time for him. but I think when he finishes his rehab he'll see that you were there all along and everything will be back to normal. good luck and stay strong :)
    6/11/08 WPB


    ♬♪♫ and I will not, grow tired of crayon stars and fire

    ♬♪♫ cause a soldier's death is so much better than defeat just hanging around
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    thank you everyone....it's amazing how supportive this board is...I love PJ fans! :)
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • JOEJOEJOE
    JOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,829
    Have you thought of seeing a therapist?
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    Have you thought of seeing a therapist?
    just started today.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • JOEJOEJOE
    JOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,829
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    just started today.

    Good job!

    I hope you are able to find perspective!
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    Good job!

    I hope you are able to find perspective!
    yeah...my mind knows where things are headed...but my heart won't let go.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • meme
    meme Posts: 4,695
    I'm so sorry. Give yourself time, things don't have to make sense right now. I hope things clear up with your husband or you move on smoothly to the rest of your life :)
    ... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
  • JOEJOEJOE
    JOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,829
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    yeah...my mind knows where things are headed...but my heart won't let go.

    my heart and my mind fight all the time.....they really have grudges against eachother!
    :)
  • stylo17
    stylo17 Posts: 1,001
    JOEJOEJOE wrote:
    my heart and my mind fight all the time.....they really have grudges against eachother!
    :)

    haha, yea you and CHANGE aren't the only ones :)
    6/11/08 WPB


    ♬♪♫ and I will not, grow tired of crayon stars and fire

    ♬♪♫ cause a soldier's death is so much better than defeat just hanging around
  • dark pink
    dark pink Posts: 26
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    my husband told me he no longer loves me...then he tells me has has been addicted to drugs for over 4 years (he's a pharmacist so he was very good at hiding it). We've been married for 6 years and together for 10. this is all so shocking as it is. He moved out 2 months ago so we could work on the relationship...and he has been clean for 1 month and attending NA meetings. Last week he decided he wants a divorce and he's done trying (which is sad because I thought we hadn't begun to work on our relationship because dealing with his addiction was top priority). He decides this 4 days before he starts rehab!! He started out-patient rehab...and now he asks me to attend the family sessions with him. I'm just in a constant fog now. :(

    Hes an addict.
    Selfish is all they know....its a major symptom of the terrible disease that they and their families battle.

    Even if he gets sober, the disease only goes into remission, never away.

    Ask yourself if you are equipped for life with an addict, this may be your window to freedom.

    Peace, strenghth, clarity.... (:
    None of us operate from a singular motive.
    "A lie travels half-way around the world
    before the truth can even gets its boots on to get out the door."

    -Mark Twain
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    dark pink wrote:
    Hes an addict.
    Selfish is all they know....its a major symptom of the terrible disease that they and their families battle.

    Even if he gets sober, the disease only goes into remission, never away.

    Ask yourself if you are equipped for life with an addict, this may be your window to freedom.

    Peace, strenghth, clarity.... (:
    this is a good thing to remember. thanks :)
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    :( that terrible to hear. ten years is a long relationship, I hope you guys straighten things out. Best wishes.
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009

Categories