wedding rings

riffrandall

decides2dream wrote:

uhuh....keep telling yourself that. as i said, believe what you want to believe. i know otherwise, and i will leave it at that. life is not black and white. but hey, anyone wants to look at wearing, or not wearing, a wedding ring as some *proof*...go right ahead! i'll stick with my proof.



works for me.

I envy people who think they can trust their spouses. I really do.
That is not a slam against you in any way (but thanks for the permission to believe what I want to believe).

decides2dream

riffrandall wrote:

I envy people who think they can trust their spouses. I really do.
That is not a slam against you in any way (but thanks for the permission to believe what I want to believe).

i can, and i do.
does it mean my trust will never be betrayed? nope. however, i STILL give my trust freely, and happily. this is how i choose to live my life. it works for me. so far, so good. i trust many people. sometimes it's been the wrong choice. c'est la vie. i still like trusting people who earn my trust. and i don't take it as a slam, i take it as a compliment. i am a realist, but i also appreciate and value what i have. it may not be here tomorrow...due to my actions, my husband's, or who knows? right now, it's really good. trust is a big part of that. and quite honestly, for ME, fidelity is not the end-all, be-all of a relationship...not by a longshot, so worrying over 'cheating' doesn't even register high on my list of 'concerns' period. so add in wearing a ring or not? non-issue.

comebackwoman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh9LkU0ntYg



A ring isn't gonna keep or prevent anyone from cheating. Those who will...will regardless of jewelry.

smithnic

If you can't trust your spouse, why'd you marry them?

CityMouse

riffrandall wrote:

I envy people who think they can trust their spouses. I really do.

why? Why would someone enter into a committed relationship if they were just going to cheat? what's the point of it then? the entire basis of getting married is to not cheat...so why do it in the first place if this is not what you want to do? I realize there are some nutjobs out there who don't understand this, but this reason the vast majority of people in committed (by definition!) relationships wouldn't cheat.

saveuplife

Ok. Here's my opinion.

If you are male, married, under 35, are not allergic to rings, don't work in an environment where a ring could be hazardous, and still don't wear a ring...

...you are "more LIKELY" to be a cheater than someone who does wear it faithfully. That's an opinion, but I think it could be proven by fact if anyone would ever test it.

comebackwoman

saveuplife wrote:

Ok. Here's my opinion.

If you are male, married, under 35, are not allergic to rings, don't work in an environment where a ring could be hazardous, and still don't wear a ring...

...you are "more LIKELY" to be a cheater than someone who does wear it faithfully. That's an opinion, but I think it could be proven by fact if anyone would ever test it.

unless you're george costanza and you're conducting a sociological experiment

decides2dream

saveuplife wrote:

Ok. Here's my opinion.

If you are male, married, under 35, are not allergic to rings, don't work in an environment where a ring could be hazardous, and still don't wear a ring...

...you are "more LIKELY" to be a cheater than someone who does wear it faithfully. That's an opinion, but I think it could be proven by fact if anyone would ever test it.

what about a woman who fits that same criteria?

just curious.



and marriage, in and of itself....wasn't 'designed' for fidelity. it was merely a financial arrangement between families initially. nowadays, sure....far more likely to be based on love and fidelity, but let's face it....there STILL is lots of extramarital sex, so while many may like the 'idea' of a commited relationship, fildelity maybe not as much, and i would dare say....not mutually exculsive. besides, there's always http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=279408

smithnic

advertising your own thread... wow that's low.

saveuplife

decides2dream wrote:

what about a woman who fits that same criteria?

just curious.



and marriage, in and of itself....wasn't 'designed' for fidelity. it was merely a financial arrangement between families initially. nowadays, sure....far more likely to be based on love and fidelity, but let's face it....there STILL is lots of extramarital sex, so while many may like the 'idea' of a commited relationship, fildelity maybe not as much, and i would dare say....not mutually exculsive. besides, there's always http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=279408

Same goes for a woman.

Check this out...

http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/columns/mating/10582/

I agree with you about the other aspects.

decides2dream

smithnic wrote:

advertising your own thread... wow that's low.

hey now, not advertising...just making a point. it's old, but it's a good topic.

saveuplife wrote:

Same goes for a woman.

Check this out...

http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/s.../mating/10582/

I agree with you about the other aspects.

well i appreciate you being consistent at least.


and....an opinion piece. whoopdy-do. bottomline, i simply disagree. i think there ARE married men, wearing wedding bands, who cheat.....and there are married men who don't wear wedding bands who don't cheat. women too. whether 'most' do or don't...irrelevant to me. i just dislike foregone conclusions and sweeping generalizations which may be true, or not....but paint with too bold a brush people who do NOT fit that bill. that's all.

suffragette

urbanhippie wrote:

He IS my ex

that's what I figured.

BetterThanYou

i've been married for 13 years. stopped wearing my wedding band about 7 or 8 years ago. i started gaining a lot of weight, my fingers got fat, and the band was too tight. i know i can have it resized, i've just never gotten around to it. i don't think i will though, because my wife wants to get new rings for our 15th anniversary. when we get them, i'll wear the ring...unless (god, i hope it doesn't happen) i gain more weight and my fingers get fatter again.

markymark550

My wedding ring is the most cherished posession that I own. So, I proudly wear my ring unless I'm doing something like yard work or something that involves oil or tools/machinery. It took about 4 months to get used to wearing it as I would only wear a watch before getting married, but now I feel 'naked' without it.

Spunkie

Like Ed?

suffragette

tish wrote:

Like Ed?

like Ed what? naked or not wearing a wedding ring?

JaneNY

My husband doesn't wear his. His knuckles got a little bigger and its hard for him to put it on and take it off. We've been married 26 years, and it looks like it'll go on, so whatever. I wear mine though (plus the bling he gave me on our 25 year anniversary). Also, he's from the Indian subcontinent and its not a given that men must wear a wedding ring, and women don't necessarily either - women wear gold bangles after marriage instead.

decides2dream

tish wrote:

Like Ed?

ed is not married. just an FYI. jill is always referred to as his GF, and ed refers to her as his lady, not his wife.



i'd like to redo my engagement ring, which is more like a diamond eternity wedding band - my choice - sometime in the future. as i said, i don't actually wear my wedding band, nor engagement ring at all anymore. but i do wear a ring in it's place that still looks a bit like a wedding band with diamonds that my husband gave me a few years ago. i love wearing rings, he does not.....and we're still kickin it 16 years later. all is good.

justam

decides2dream wrote:

ed is not married. just an FYI. jill is always referred to as his GF, and ed refers to her as his lady, not his wife.

It's kind of "commonlaw" though after eight years and two children.

decides2dream

justam wrote:

It's kind of "commonlaw" though after eight years and two children.

bottomline thoug he did NOT marry her, and thus no need for a ring.....common law or not. and yes, while there are many commitments with a common law marriage - although i have no idea about in seattle - it still is not 100% recognized as a 'marriage'...if the relationship disolves. sure, legal ramifications to be sure, but there is reason not to marry if that's your choice, and live together indefinitely.


anyhoo, for this conversation was simply pointing out he has no 'need' to wear a ring b/c he did not make the commitment of marriage. beyond that, i see no need in it period...just choice.